Tag: boundaries

Don’t Degrade Yourself for Money or Power – A Timeless Lesson from ‘Marty Supreme’

“The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.”

*Spoilers ahead for the 2025 film, ‘Marty Supreme’, Directed by Josh Safdie*

Even when a movie is based on a fictional story, there are still kernels of truth that can be taken from it. Such is the case for the critically acclaimed and highly rated movie that came out recently on Christmas Day, 2025: ‘Marty Supreme.’ Without giving away too much of the movie’s plot and setting, I’ll focus instead on a major theme from the movie and how it applies to real life. The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.

The main character of ‘Marty Supreme’, Marty Mauser, an up-and-coming tennis table contender on the world stage who’s also chasing fame, fortune, and notoriety in pursuing his overall dream of being the best. He also has his eyes and heart set on pursuing a beautiful movie star he comes across on a table tennis tour (despite her being a married woman).

Marty is a polarizing yet mesmerizing character but like the rest of the film’s characters, you can’t help being enamored by his boundless vision, clear goal, and strong determination. Despite my sympathizing with Marty in terms of his drive, work ethic, and grit, the film does a great job of showing how one’s morality, one’s relationships, and ultimate one’s soul can be corrupted in the pursuit of fulfilling a lifelong dream despite the obstacles involved, but at what cost to oneself?

Without giving away too many spoilers as I do encourage you to see the film before making your own judgment, Marty continually degrades himself in his behavior towards others, his association with shady characters who want to see him humiliated on purpose, and in his callous treatment towards competitors who stand in the way of his overall goal. In ‘Marty Supreme’, I found it as an overall cautionary tale for me and others in pursuit of our own goals and dreams in life in treading carefully. No dream, vision, or goal is worth losing your soul over. Think about the limits you should place on yourself in achieving your goals or dreams because you should assuredly do so to protect your soul. One that is a non-negotiable for me and hopefully for others is to not degrade yourself in any way for either money, power, or fame.

Keeping one’s morals, values, and character intact is priceless and no amount of money, power, or fame should ever change that. You must draw boundaries and limits with other people especially when they promise to help you in achieving your goal. Unfortunately, Marty Mauser forgets that in ‘Marty Supreme’ and it ends up costing him dearly along the way. He degrades himself to receive financial assistance in exchange to help him reach his long-desired goal but in the process of doing so, he loses his dignity, self-respect, and humiliates himself in front of other people. Any of our dreams can turn into real nightmares if we don’t impose non-negotiables or boundaries on ourselves and on others on what we are willing to tolerate to achieve success.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong competitive spirit, pushing yourself to the limit mentally or physically, and narrowing your focus on achieving a big goal or dream. However, where you run into possible problems or issues is when you put others in the driver’s seat and let them dictate the terms of how, why, or what they want you to do to achieve money, power, or other success. Don’t lose control over your own destiny and don’t be so desperate to achieve your goal or dream that you embarrass, humiliate, or otherwise degrade yourself to make it a reality. You never want to put your own autonomy at risk, get in deep with dirtbags or scoundrels, or sacrifice your friendships or relationships in the pursuit of your own success.

Being able to walk away, say no, and keep your morals intact is worth more than all the gold and glory that this life has to offer. Remember to evaluate the character and morals of those people you surround yourself with on the road to your goal or dream. Be able to step back, assess who you’re getting involved with, what’s their possible angle in supporting you, and do they have your best interests at heart or are they using you to an end?  I’ve watched this dynamic unfold time and again, from front-page scandals to the corridors of power, where money and ambition slowly corrode the very friendships and relationships that once mattered most.

Success that requires you to abandon your dignity isn’t success. It’s a transaction with a price you’ll eventually regret paying. ‘Marty Supreme’ reminds us that ambition without boundaries doesn’t lead to fulfillment; it leads to self-betrayal. The real victory isn’t reaching the top at any cost; it’s being able to look at yourself along the way and still recognize who you are. If achieving your dream requires you to humiliate yourself, surrender your autonomy, or tolerate people who don’t respect you, then the dream is already compromised. Money can be earned back. Power can shift hands quickly. Fame fades as priorities change. However, once you give away your self-respect, getting it back is a hell of a lot harder. Choose your boundaries wisely and guard them like your life depends on it. 

Deep vs. Superficial Friendships

“The friendships that we create in life come in various types and kinds, from the shallow and fleeting to the profound and enduring, but the idea of friendships in general, are crucial to maintaining a healthy and well-balanced life.”

The friendships that we create in life come in various types and kinds, from the shallow and fleeting to the profound and enduring, but the idea of friendships in general, are crucial to maintaining a healthy and well-balanced life. We must recognize though that there is a stark disparity between having deep friendships and having superficial ones. We should always try to prioritize having the former as much as possible as it is vital in helping with our emotional well-being and it is important to cultivate such enriching and long-lasting bonds when we can in life.

Deep friendships are akin to having actual roots that anchor us, offering solace, support, and understanding amidst life’s tumultuous events. Unlike superficial friendships, which often revolve around surface-level interactions and fleeting interests and hobbies, deep friendships transcend the superficiality of small talk by delving into the depths of our souls. These profound connections are characterized by authenticity, vulnerability, and reciprocity, serving as sanctuaries where we can reveal our true selves without fear of judgment.

The importance of having a deep friendship cannot be overstated. Research in psychology consistently underscores a myriad of benefits, ranging from enhanced emotional resilience to increased lifespan longevity. Deep friendships provide a nurturing environment where individuals can share their joys and sorrows, seek counsel, and celebrate milestones. Moreover, these intimate bonds foster a sense of belonging and validation, buffering against the pangs of loneliness and isolation that plague so many in today’s hyperconnected yet paradoxically lonely world.

Conversely, superficial friendships, while ubiquitous, often leave us feeling hollow and disconnected. In the age of social media, where likes and followers reign supreme, it’s all too easy to confuse online acquaintanceships with genuine friendships. Superficial friendships are characterized by surface-level interactions, revolving around shared activities or interests rather than by having a deep emotional connection or being able to be vulnerable with the other person without judgment or regret. While they may provide fleeting moments of amusement or distraction, they lack the depth and intimacy necessary for true companionship.

American culture, with its emphasis on individualism and instant gratification, often perpetuates the primacy of superficial friendships rather than deeper ones. From the frenetic pace of social gatherings, the inability to have spontaneous meetups with friends without scheduling weeks or months in advance to the superficiality of online interactions, many Americans find themselves these days caught in a whirlwind of shallow connections, neglecting the profound bonds that sustain us throughout our lives. Societal pressures in American culture of projecting a false or inflated image of success and popularity rather than being realistic of what your life is like. This kind of attitude can incentivize people to prioritize quantity over quality when it comes to friendships, leading to a proliferation of superficial ties at the expense of forming genuine connections with others.

This trend is particularly pronounced during the adolescent phase of life, which is a formative period characterized by peer pressure and social conformity. Teenagers, eager to fit in and be accepted, may gravitate towards superficial friendships based on shared interests or social status, neglecting the deeper connections that truly nourish the spirit. Similarly, adults, juggling the demands of career and family, may find themselves ensnared in a web of acquaintanceships, leaving little time or energy for cultivating deep friendships.

How can we resist the allure of superficial friendships and cultivate the depth and authenticity we crave? The first step is awareness, recognizing the differences between superficial and deep friendships and acknowledging the profound impact the latter kind can have on our well-being. Deep friendships are marked by essential qualities such as empathy, trust, and mutual respect, whereas superficial friendships are characterized by shallowness, frivolities, and transience.

Furthermore, cultivating deep friendships requires intentionality and effort. It entails investing both serious time and energy in building and nurturing those meaningful connections, prioritizing quality over quantity when it comes to who your friends really are. This kind of approach may involve initiating vulnerable conversations, actively listening to both our friends’ struggles and triumphs, and showing up for them in times of need, even when it may be inconvenient for you to do so. It also means being willing to reciprocate the same level of vulnerability and support, fostering a sense of mutual trust and understanding between the two people involved. If your friend is going through a personal crisis, or wants to celebrate his success(-es) with you, or needs some advice, will you be there for them through both the good times and the bad? You really must know that answer before you consider it a deep friendship.

It should be noted that fostering deep friendships necessitates setting boundaries and discerning when to invest in relationships that align with our values, beliefs, and nurture our personal growth. This may mean distancing ourselves from toxic or one-sided friendships that drain our energy, our time, and diminish our sense of self-worth. While it can be daunting to confront the discomfort of letting go from any friendship you make because of how difficult it can be to start from scratch with a new person, prioritizing one’s own emotional well-being is essential for fostering deeper and more fulfilling connections for creating more rewarding friendships.

Moreover, we must challenge societal norms that prioritize superficiality over depth and authenticity. This requires redefining our cultural narratives around friendship, valuing vulnerability, and emotional intimacy as essential components of genuine connection. By modeling deep friendships in our own lives and advocating for their importance in our communities, we can shift the cultural paradigm towards one that values quality over quantity in friendships.

The profound impact of deep and enduring friendships on happiness and health cannot be overstated. Research spanning past decades has consistently demonstrated many benefits of having meaningful social connections, from reduced stress and anxiety to improved immune function and physical health. Deep friendships provide a buffer against the inherent stresses of life, offering emotional support and validation during challenging times. When we have friends who truly understand us and care for our well-being rather than just know who our favorite sports team is or what we enjoy doing on weekends, we feel less alone in our struggles and more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs.

Deep friendships help us foster an essential sense of belonging and acceptance that is essential for our psychological well-being. When we can openly share our joys and sorrows with trusted friends, we validate our experiences and affirm our sense of self-worth. This sense of belonging not only enhances our self-esteem but also strengthens our resilience in the face of adversity and challenges. Studies have shown that individuals who have strong social support networks are better equipped to cope with stress, anxiety, and trauma, leading to improved mental and emotional health over time.

Additionally, deep friendships provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery, as we learn from and are inspired by the unique perspectives and experiences of our friends who can relate to what we’re going through each day. In essence, deep and lasting friendships enrich our lives in ways that superficial connections simply cannot replicate, contributing to our overall happiness and well-being in profound and meaningful ways. Having deep friendships is a large part of the bedrock of our emotional well-being, offering solace, support, and understanding in an increasingly superficial and shallow world. Distinguishing between deep and superficial friendships requires having emotional awareness, intentionality, and discernment. By prioritizing authenticity, vulnerability, and reciprocity in our friendships, we can cultivate deeper friendships that nourish the soul and sustain us through life’s tribulations and triumphs.