June 2016 – The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

Fear of The Unknown

visually-expressed-thoughts-by-carlos-lang-24 — “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Why do people sometimes have a fear of the unknown? As human beings, we each have our own unique doubts, fears, and phobias that develop as we deal with the world and its’ challenges. Whether they are fears related to heights, spiders, snakes, or even speaking in front of a large audience, it’s part of what makes us human to have fears. Facing and confronting your fears is not an easy struggle and it takes courage, compassion, and emotional maturity to get past your phobias. One of the most common fears that most of us have from time to time is ‘Fear of the Unknown.’

To have a strong desire to control your circumstances, your path in life, and your future is only natural. However, it’s clear that some things can never be fully known and that there will be changes that we will have to cope with. Trying to control everything and everybody around you is a recipe for disaster. Facing the unknown without fear is not easy but it is necessary in order to become a more mature and more centered person. Fear of the unknown is related to other fears that people have which have a connection to one another such as the fear of death, the fear of getting old, the fear of being homeless, the fear of life changes, etc.

There’s a popular saying that goes, “You always fear what you don’t understand.” This quote ties into a central idea that people fear most what they cannot change, anticipate, or prevent from happening. Some examples of this phenomena include economic recessions, societal changes, job loss, personal loss, election results, retirement planning, health problems, environmental concerns, etc. All of these phenomenon tie into the overall ‘fear of the unknown’ for the average man or woman. None of these phenomena can be controlled or even changed by one individual. Since we cannot usually have a great effect on preventing these fears from becoming real or taking place in our lives, what can we do or what should we do?

It’s best not to resist the changes that are bound to happen at some point in our lives. We simply cannot know everything that is to occur in the future and it would be useless to try to plan for everything ahead of time. Most of the time, it’s best to go with the flow, try best not to fight what comes your way, and to make the most out of things. Do not give in to fear, hate, doubt, disappointment, and anger, which are all negative consequences that come with fearing the unknown and the unseen. Having fear about what can happen a week, a month, a year, or a decade from today is a waste of time because you simply can’t know what exactly lies ahead in the future.

The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to be adaptable and malleable to the future. Trying to plan everything out is a waste of time and energy. While seeking stability, security for yourself and others is an important part of the human condition. Sometimes, you need to cope with some instability and insecurity that will come your way. Another notable saying that people rely on for strength is the popular quote; “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Persistent fear of what’s to come is not productive, not enjoyable, and not healthy for anyone in the long-term.

What happens to most people when they feel a palpable sense of fear? Well, there are a number of common symptoms and ailments that one can experience as a result. Your heart rate starts to increase, and your breath will become shorter and more harried. You may begin to panic, and feel an enormous sense of tension in your body. You’re going to be anxious and stressed about the unknown and what you’re going to do about it. The more extreme symptoms of feeling fear involve nausea, fainting, vomiting, crying, and shaking uncontrollably. I mention these reactions to fear not to scare my readers but so you can better learn to recognize these symptoms and try to control and alleviate them as best as you can.

Now that we know what the ‘Fear of the Unknown’ is and how to classify it along with the related symptoms, how can we cope we this fact of life? The most important thing to keep in mind when confronting this particular fear is to stay positive about what’s to come. Not everything in life will go smoothly and there will be challenges ahead. However, it’s important to remove the negative associations, conclusions that your mind will come up with sometimes when it comes to thinking and planning for the unknown. A little bit of anxiety and stress is natural when it comes to facing the future but it should not affect your daily activities and your personal relationships.

You’ll have a more peaceful state of mind when you react to the strange and unforeseen future with a positive and upbeat outlook. It’s best to focus on your goals, stay focused, and don’t get sidetracked about what might or what not happen to you in the future. Changing your thoughts and your mindset through meditation for five to ten minutes on a daily basis can also be a great self-help remedy for getting rid of your fear of the unknown.

Embracing a new environment, new friends, and new work opportunities can also keep your imagination in the right state of mind. If your sense of anxiety and fear of the unknown is extremely strong and hard to break, it may be best to consider neurolinguistic programming, cognitive behavioral therapy, and even certain medications if the problem becomes that severe. However, these kinds of remedies should be used only as a last resort.

Having a sense of ownership and direction in our lives is extremely important. However, we cannot control everything especially the unknown that lies ahead. Whether its’ moving to a new city or country, jumping into a dark lake, starting a new job or hiking up a mountain, these are all instances in life that can give us reasons to worry and to be anxious. However, by controlling our thoughts and emotions, and having the ability to stay positive regardless of the circumstances will keep you both mentally and physically fit.

As the 32^nd President of the United States, Franklin D. Roosevelt stated famously during his 1^st inaugural address to the American people on the subject of facing the Great Depression, “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself.”

Moments of Quiet Reflection

In a world full of noise and frenzy, it’s to one’s advantage to have some quiet moments of reflection every now and then. It doesn’t have to be every day but five to ten minutes for a couple of times per week can really make a difference in helping you do some self-reflection. Activities like Yoga, Meditation, or just doing deep breathing exercises will allow your mind to quiet itself and reflect on nothing at all or to concentrate on a specific thought. Hearing your own voice and thoughts in your mind is not easy to do but it helps put your past, present, and future into a clearer perspective. It’s a real and underrated pleasure in letting your thoughts run away to new places and but to still control where they go.

Personally, I enjoy my own reflections late at night when the world is quiet and I’m getting ready to fall sleep. I can freely think about past memories that make me smile, and contemplate events on the horizon in my future. Having tried meditation in the past, I can also let go of any and all thoughts that I want to do away with in order to become a clean slate unto myself. Reflecting upon my actions, thoughts, and feelings makes me more introspective and observant, which allows me to acknowledge my overall strengths and weaknesses as a person. Being self-aware of who you are, where you’re going, where you’ve been, and how you got there are all elements in developing a personal sense of meaning and fulfillment.

Listening to ones’ conscience and honing ones’ idea of self is increasingly important in maintaining a sense of identity and purpose. Too often these days, we are with the world all of the time and are constantly absorbing the thoughts and feelings of many other people. While interacting with other is a crucial part of life, we must continue to listen to and reflect on our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. We shouldn’t always act on what we feel, or say what we think, but having these thoughts and reflecting on their origins and meanings should not be discouraged.

Often, we as human beings can care way too much about what other people think, feel, and say about us. It is simply not productive to let others’ thoughts of you consume your own sense of self and purpose. All of us have a limited amount of information that we can take in to our minds, absorb, and act on so we have to choose what’s really important to let into our heads.

In the age of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and social media in general, it’s all too easy to get caught up on in what’s going on in the external world without taking note of what we’re experiencing in our internal world. Indulging in everybody else’s words all of the time will leave you disoriented and overwhelmed. Listening to your own voice above everybody else’s is necessary to have a true sense of self. Make sure to always have a strong identity and a purpose. If that takes more daily quiet reflections, then you should make those a priority in your life. When you are always tuned into the lives of other people, you forget to live your own life.

Live according to your own purpose and vision before considering the thoughts and opinions of others. Yes, while it’s always important to listen and seek guidance from friends and family, sometimes you have to go your own way and follow your destiny, even if you don’t know where that road may lead. Having an active life makes for a stronger and healthier individual.

Be quiet and reflect when your mind feels cluttered and overwhelmed. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Let your mind shut off or let it wander into your memories and experiences. Turn off your phone and the computer to just ‘be present’ in the moment. Let the flow of information and data of the world not influence you in these precious few moments.

The only thoughts and feelings you should be listening to should be your own during these times. Hear your own voice and think about your past, present, and future or try not to think at all. Remember your own ‘why’ of living and maintain your personal bearings. After these crucial moments of quiet reflection, you’ll better understand who you are as a person and what your conscience is telling you. Always allow yourself some time to be present in your own mind, and your mind alone.

English Corner – Prepositions

The ‘English Corner’ will be a new blog post series from me with a new post every month to help English language learners to better understand the vocabulary, grammar, and syntax in order to better develop their own proficiency. I have over two years of experience of teaching the English language to non-native speakers, both online and in person. I hope to use these posts to help you, the reader, improve your understanding of English, and also develop your fluency.

If you have any questions about this ‘English Corner’ post, please leave a comment and I will answer them to the best of my ability. Any constructive feedback is appreciated and I hope that this will become a popular series of posts within my website. If you enjoy my ‘English Corner’ series, you can also request private English lessons with me through the WordPress message system.

One of the biggest struggles that new learners of the English language will encounter during their studies is mastering the grammatical concept of the ‘Preposition.’ The most common issue that a lot of my ESL students have come across is how to better understand and memorize the grammar rules of the ‘Preposition.’

It’s nearly impossible to memorize all of the ‘Prepositions’ and their specific uses in English. I find that it’s best to examine certain examples where the individual preposition is being used in the sentence and for what context does it most apply fittingly. It’s important to remember that a preposition is considered to be a part-of-speech that comes before a noun type of phrase and connects it to another part of the sentence. The name of ‘Preposition’ can be broken down into pre-position which gives us a good hint that this part-of-speech needs to be placed before the noun. There are different types of noun phrases such as the noun phrase (the short boy), the noun (meat), the pronoun (us), and the ‘gerund or before the verb in –ing form’ (dancing).

The most common prepositions are on, in, to, for, with, by, and. There are numerous other prepositions and for a full list of them, I highly recommend going to this link: https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm

There are three types of relationships that the preposition has with the rest of the sentence. They are relationships in time, in space, and of a certain method.

For some examples of prepositions in these three different relationships, let’s look at the following sentences:

The soccer ball is on the floor. (relationship in space)

Note: The physical location of the soccer ball is located on the floor. ‘On’ is a good example of a preposition that is used to demonstrate the relationship in space between itself and the noun.

You will meet him in October to discuss the business deal. (relationship in time)

Note: When it comes to date / time / place, a preposition like in is perfect for highlighting the relationship of time when it comes to a noun like ‘October.’ For months, days, weeks, and other words for time, it’s important to use the correct preposition to express this relationship.

I sent the wedding invite to you by postal mail. (relationship of method)

Note: When describing a method with a preposition, using by is the most popular and the most useful. Whether its’ mailing a package, or writing a reply to your boss, this kind of preposition will come in handy especially when it comes to connecting the gerund (verb + ing) to the part of speech.

There are several kinds of relationships that are expressed with the help of prepositions but the most common relate to space, time, and method.

Prepositions can either be one word (after, in, by, etc.) or a couple of words, which makes them more complex in their overall nature. (according to, despite that, because of, etc.)

Prepositions will usually come in the middle of a sentence to connect two parts of a whole sentence. However, there are exceptions and sometimes they will appear at the beginning or end of a sentence.

Examples:

Which person did you talk to?

To which person did you talk?

____________________________________________

Another important distinction between prepositions is related to whether they involve place or time.

Prepositions of place describe the relation of an object or thing to another object or thing in terms of space.

This chart below provided by http://www.englishclub.com explains this phenomenon along with a list of corresponding prepositions of place:

Here are some example sentences for preposition of place:

My dinner plate is on the table.
The boy hid under his bed.
He stood in front of the door.
The bird flew above the crowd.
He looked over his assembled troops on the battlefield.

Prepositions of time usually involve prepositions like at, in, on, by, etc. We use at to describe a specific time or date. We use in to highlight months, years, decades, and long periods of time. The last preposition of on is the most specific and deals with days of the week, and dates in time. By is the least common preposition of time but can be used to express important due dates when it comes to days and weeks.

Here are some example sentences for preposition of time:

I have a salsa class at 8 pm tonight.
In September, I started my new job.
We ended our job strike on Tuesday because our demands were met.
You need to finish this project by next week.
We will be back from our vacation by Friday night at 11 PM.

This chart below from http://www.englishlearnsite.com is very useful in giving us more examples on how to use these prepositions of time in the correct manner without getting frustrated.

Prepositions are an important grammatical concept to master in order to become fluent in the English language. I hope this first ‘English Corner’ session was helpful to you as a reader of my website. Remember that a preposition is always followed by a noun, and never by a verb. Prepositions usually appear in the middle of a sentence but sometimes at the beginning or end too. Placing your prepositions before the ‘noun’ and after the subject/verb will help you greatly with regards to your English grammar.

I hope you enjoyed this first edition of ‘English Corner’ and I look forward to sharing another topic with all of my visitors again soon.

‘The Shawshank Redemption’ – Film Review and Analysis

Few other modern films capture the power of the human spirit more than The Shawshank Redemption. Directed by Frank Darabont, released originally in 1994, and starring Morgan Freeman as Ellis ‘Boyd’ Redding, Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne; this film was not originally successful in movie theaters when it was released to the general public.

However, since then, The Shawshank Redemption has become a cult classic which has skyrocketed in popularity even after its’ release twenty years later. It is often considered by film critics to be one of the best Hollywood movies of the 20^th century. Personally, I have watched this film multiple times and consider it to be my all-time favorite movie. If I’m channel surfing late at night and I see that The Shawshank Redemption is on AMC, HBO, or another movie network, I’ll often stop what I’m doing to watch the film already in progress. It’s that good of a movie and is timeless in its’ themes and its’ overall message.

More so than just the brilliant acting by Mr. Freeman and Mr. Robbins, along with the great directing by Frank Darabont, the cinematography is quite flawless and the film has a consistent flow to it. It also has an engaging plot and setting that suits the overall themes quite well. The Shawshank Redemption is a very human story with a lot of powerful, and emotional scenes that have captivated millions of viewers. It’s rare to come across a film today that can tug at your heartstrings and make you really feel deep emotions about a fictional story and characters. The Shawshank Redemption is able to pass that test and remind you of what it means to be human. The film highlights the triumphs, the tragedies, and the deeper meaning that we seek within our own lives.

Andy Dufresne is a young, smart, and ambitious banker in Portland, Maine who is accused and later convicted of murdering his wife and her extramarital lover. At first, he appears to the audience as a cold, detached, and remorseless person who very well could have committed that awful crime. The other main character, Ellis ‘Boyd’ Redding, a long-time prisoner at Shawshank state prison is unimpressed by Andy’s appearance at first sight and remarks how “a stiff breeze would blow him over.” As the saying goes though, “Don’t judge a book by its’ cover.”

Throughout the film, we learn through the eyes of Red more about Andy and what he’s like in terms of his true personality and character. We don’t know whether he killed his wife or not because he pronounces his innocence to Red and the other prisoners. Red is resigned to his life in prison and tries to make the best of it by being ‘the guy who can get you things.’ His friendship with Andy blossoms due to a simple, haphazard moment when Andy asks Red for a rock hammer to carve chess pieces. It’s an unusual request but it gets the two men to talk to each other and to break down the stereotypes that Red has of Andy, and Andy has of Red.

Andy must deal as best as he can with his new life as a prisoner whom may in fact be innocent of the crime that he was convicted of. As Red states knowingly in the film, “Prison is no fairy tale world.” Andy has to cope with the vindictive warden of Shawshank prison, played by Bob Gunton as well as the malicious head prison guard, Captain Byron Hadley, who is played by Clancy Brown. He also must fend off some sadistic fellow prisoners who wish him physical harm and sexual violence. It is clear to the viewer that Andy, despite the injustices he has encountered in Shawshank and outside of Shawshank prison, maintains the ‘hope’ that he’ll survive his ordeal and eventually win his freedom. Despite his friend, Red, warning him about the dangers of seeking hope in a place where none can be found, Andy reminds Red that “Hope is a good thing, maybe even the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

The most memorable scenes of this film still stick out to me after all of these years. My favorite is the famous ‘Suds on the Roof’ scene when Andy risks his life to give his fellow prisoners a one-time allowance of beers while they tar the roof of a factory by giving the prison guard, Hadley, some financial advice on how to deal with the IRS. Andy knew how much it would means to his fellow prisoners if they could enjoy a beer or two while doing hard work in the hot Maine summer sun. In that scene, he also showed a lot of bravery by confronting Hadley about if “he trusts his wife with money or not.”

Another notable scene that stands out to me is how Andy continuously asks the state of Maine for extra money to give to the Shawshank prison in order to build a memorial library in honor of another prisoner, Brooks Hatlen, who committed suicide regrettably after finishing up his sentence. Andy keeps writing letters for months on end but finally receives the funds he needs after a few years to build the memorial library. Because of this library, many prisoners like young Tommy Williams, who Andy takes a liking to, end up reading books and even receiving their High School GEDs (General Equivalency Degree).

Lastly, there is an extremely beautiful scene where Andy is collecting records for the prison library and ends up putting an Italian opera record over the loudspeakers for all of the prisoners to hear. He locks himself in the room so the guards and the warden can’t get to him. For a few minutes, the opera music flows openly through the walls and the bars of the prison. As Red puts it succinctly in the movie, “For the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free…”

After nineteen years in prison and many tumultuous events, Andy knows that his destiny no longer is meant just for the walls and bars of Shawshank prison. He dreams of a coastal city in Mexico known as Zihuatanejo, where he can run a hotel and begin his life anew. Andy implores Red to join him one day and help him out with his business since he’s a man who “knows how to get things.” While Andy remains hopeful and optimistic even when his future seems grim, Red is skeptical and dismissive of Andy’s “pipe dream.”

Despite the long odds, Andy doesn’t let the negativity get him down and puts effort toward realizing his dream of getting out of Shawshank and making his way to Mexico. This courage and perseverance shown by Andy has a lasting effect on Red by the end of the movie as they have become close friends who have known each other for almost twenty years. Red realizes the innate truth behind Andy’s belief in everlasting hope and to “get busy livin’ or get busy dyin.’”

Some people who have not taken the time to watch The Shawshank Redemption regard it naively as just another prison movie. However, this summarization is far from the truth. Similar to The Green Mile, it’s a story about finding hope in the least hopeful of places and never giving up on life when it seems rather cruel or unjust. It also has a constant theme about the power of male friendship and how Andy and Red have bonded together over the years despite their initial differences.

The Shawshank Redemption was never a summer blockbuster or a critically acclaimed behemoth of a film but it is widely regarded now as one of the best American films of all-time. Many people have cited this movie as having changed their lives for the better when they were going through difficult times in their personal or professional lives. Above all else, The Shawshank Redemption is a story about one man’s ability to remain hopeful during the most difficult and harsh circumstances. As Red states at the end of the film, “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin.’ That’s goddamn right.”