Tag: values

A Society Without a Center – What Happens When Morality Fractures

“Today, that baseline feels increasingly unstable and it’s not because morality has disappeared, but because it has largely fragmented. There is no longer a shared moral consensus or compass that is keeping the glue that holds a functioning society together, which is harmful in the short run and devastating the longer it goes on.”

There was a time in my life when I was younger, and while not perfect, but real in my view, when people could disagree with politics yet still recognize a shared baseline of right and wrong. Today, that baseline feels increasingly unstable and it’s not because morality has disappeared, but because it has largely fragmented. There is no longer a shared moral consensus or compass that is keeping the glue that holds a functioning society together, which is harmful in the short run and devastating the longer it goes on.

We no longer argue from the same starting point when it comes to understanding what is moral and what is not. What one group sees as justice, another sees as inequity where this principle is not being equally distributed or followed. What one calls freedom for everyone; another calls it inflicted harm to a particular group who is having their freedoms limited as a result. These aren’t surface-level disagreements; they cut to the core of how people interpret truth, responsibility, and even reality itself.

A shared moral compass cannot survive in a system where consequences are inconsistent or not applied equally to everyone. When ordinary people are expected to follow rules and laws that the powerful and the well-connected routinely evade and mock, morality stops feeling like a standard and starts feeling like a tool, used or applied when convenient, and ignored when costly or detrimental to those people who have a lot to lose.

For example, the average employee notices when corporate leaders avoid consequences for actions that would destroy the career of an average employee. The average voter also notices when political figures excuse corrupt behavior from themselves, their allies, or their donors that they would condemn in their opponents or in their colleagues. They notice when public outrage seems selective, flaring up in some cases while remaining quiet in others showing a peculiar kind of hypocrisy that has only gained steam in recent years in a polarized political and social climate.

Over time, this kind of blatant inconsistency corrodes overall trust and fairness in one another. It sends a quiet but powerful message to everybody in society: morality is not universal and it is conditional and can be applied or not applied as such. As a result, more people begin to believe that the incentive to act morally weakens or erodes completely leaving an absence from that behavior, especially in our institutions. Why follow rules that others can bypass or not be held accountable to? Why uphold standards or norms that are not enforced equally to everyone in the society?

Part of this shift comes from the collapse of shared institutions, religion, local communities, even trusted media, that once anchored moral conversation. In their place, we’ve built personalized ecosystems of belief, reinforced by algorithms and tribal loyalty. The result is a culture where validation matters more than reflection, and outrage travels faster than understanding. However, the deeper issue isn’t disagreement, it’s disconnection. When people stop believing that others are arguing or acting in good faith, the possibility of persuasion disappears. Debate becomes performance, and morality becomes a tool for scoring points rather than seeking truth.

This doesn’t mean that most people suddenly abandon their values or morals entirely. It means those kinds of values become more tribal, more situational, and more defensive as a result. Morality becomes something we apply outward, toward others, rather than inward, toward ourselves. It becomes easier to justify our own actions while scrutinizing everyone else’s.

At the same time, we are facing a different kind of problem: a lack of education around how to think morally in the first place, which should start at a young age but for which schools and universities have long neglected in their curriculum. We’ve replaced moral education with moral reaction. People are often taught what to believe, what to support, and what to condemn but not how to reason through complex ethical situations or think critically about why enforcing standards, morals, and laws equally is so important. They inherit frameworks that have been established through centuries of precedent without examining them or understanding why they exist in the first place. Many people today absorb positions or opinions without questioning the principles or values behind them. In today’s environment that rewards speed and certainty, there is little incentive to slow down and reflect on how or why one should act in any given situation.

This untenable situation creates a kind of moral fragility that becomes more relevant each day. When individuals encounter perspectives that challenge their beliefs, they are more likely to react defensively than to engage thoughtfully on how someone came to develop those perspectives. This is not necessarily because they are unwilling to think critically, but because they were never taught how to navigate moral ambiguity. In a world where many issues are not black and white, that gap becomes a serious problem for the next generation(s) to solve on their own without guidance from previous generations.

Education systems, broadly speaking, prioritize absorbing complex information and developing technical skills. Those matter in developing one’s career and prospects in the 21st century. However, the current curriculum by and large often leaves out something just as important: the ability to weigh competing values, to recognize bias, and to wrestle honestly with difficult moral and ethical questions. Without that foundation, people default to the loudest voices, the most emotionally charged narratives, or the groups they feel most aligned with to guide their own morality. Perhaps most worrying to me is that we really do not teach ethics, values, having a strong moral compass or how to recognize a lack or absence of that kind of compass in other people in society regardless of who they are or what their status is. 

Layer on top of that the digital media environment is designed to amplify and cause division, and the problem continues to compound each day. Social media platforms reward content that provokes strong reactions and outrage. Nuance doesn’t spread as easily as certainty and thoughtful disagreement doesn’t travel as far as selective outrage. Over time, this shapes not only what people see, but how they think. It encourages a style of moral engagement that is quick, reactive, and shallow.

Where does that leave the future of morality? The loss of a shared moral compass does not mean society is doomed to fail or deteriorate. Still, it does mean the work ahead will be harder and be exceedingly difficult if this issue is not treated with the seriousness that it deserves. Rebuilding common ground and shared morality in a fragmented world requires more than louder arguments or sharper critiques. It requires a shift in how we approach and teach morality itself.

First, there must be a renewed emphasis on consistency, especially when it comes to applying morals to those who hold power, influence, or wealth. Rules, ethics, and norms cannot be optional at the top and mandatory for the rest of us. Accountability must apply across the board, or it loses its legitimacy with society. That doesn’t mean perfection in diagnosing who’s being moral and who is not and the consequences that the latter should face. It means a genuine effort to close the gap between what we say we value and how those values are enforced.

Second, we need to take moral education more seriously and to invest much more money, time, and effort in its teaching, especially to young people. This approach should not be done in the sense of telling people what to think, but in teaching them how to think. That includes engaging with different ethical frameworks, debating morality and how it is applied, understanding trade-offs, and developing the ability to question one’s own assumptions. It also means creating third spaces, whether in schools, communities, or in public discourse, where people can wrestle with difficult ideas without immediately being reduced to labels or judged harshly for what they see is moral or not.

Finally, there must be a cultural shift toward fomenting intellectual humility. That doesn’t mean abandoning convictions or pretending that all viewpoints are equally valid. It means recognizing that our understanding is limited, that we are capable of being wrong, and that other people, even those we strongly disagree with, may be operating from a framework that makes sense to them given their education, their background, and their life experiences.

A shared moral compass doesn’t require total agreement all the time on what is ‘morality’. It requires enough overlap to make conversation possible, enough trust to assume good faith, and enough consistency to believe that the standards we claim matter and they apply to everybody once agreed upon and instituted within the rules, laws, and regulations of that society as such.

Right now, that foundation feels shaky and declining across the world. The loss of a shared moral compass doesn’t mean society is doomed to regress further. It does mean though that we face a harder task ahead: rebuilding common ground in a world that increasingly rewards division and rancor. That kind of consensus building starts not with louder arguments, but with a willingness to question our own certainty and to listen, seriously, to those we instinctively dismiss and disagree with.

The question isn’t just whether we can rebuild a shared sense of morality and virtue immediately given the gravity of the current situation; it’s whether we’re willing to do the slower, less rewarding work required to get there in the future and establish it for the long term. Otherwise, we will continue down a path where right and wrong mean something different depending on who you ask and which person it applies to. If everything is debatable, eventually nothing is binding, including morals. A society where nothing is binding is one that cannot hold together.

The Stadium Test – What Japanese Fans Understand That We Don’t

“The difference between these two scenes isn’t about cleanliness, it’s about culture, responsibility, and what we believe we owe to each other.”

The final whistle blows at an international stadium as tens of thousands of fans rise, cheer, and file out either in celebration or in dismay about their national team’s performance at the Olympics or World Cup. However, in one section, something extraordinary happens. A group stays behind and does not leave their trash behind. Instead, they pull out trash bags. They start cleaning and not just their own mess, but everyone else’s too. This isn’t a publicity stunt. It’s not a requirement. It’s just normal for them. Meanwhile, across the world, another kind of crowd leaves behind a different legacy: half-eaten popcorn, plastic cups, and the quiet assumption that someone else will deal with it later. The difference between these two scenes isn’t about cleanliness, it’s about culture, responsibility, and what we believe we owe to each other.

When I think of Japanese culture, what stands out to me is about the internalized responsibility to each other and to the greater society. I’ve seen videos and photos of it at international sporting events, but I’d imagine that responsibility is ingrained from an early age and while I haven’t been to Japan yet, I do believe there is a key distinction that separates their culture of cleanliness from others including my own. Recently at the 2026 Oscars, a photo went viral after Hollywood’s biggest night when popcorn boxes, candy wrappers, and soda cups were left behind at the Dolby Theatre, and instead of depositing the waste in trash bins after the awards ceremony was over, a lot of folks chose instead to let the custodians handle it. They could have deposited their trash themselves but in my view, American-style messiness (especially at large events or in public places) reflects an opposite culture of outsourced responsibility.

The Dolby Theater in Los Angeles, Post-Oscars 2026

From my research, Japanese students from a young age are taught to pick up after themselves including in the classroom and in the workplace. Instead of relying on janitors or custodians, there is the ‘Osouji’ (cleaning) system where values like ownership, respect for shared space, forming good habits are emphasized by authority figures. While Americans including myself were taught to ‘don’t litter’, Japanese kids were also taught that ‘this is your mess and you are responsible for also taking care of it yourself.’ Another Japanese expression I have learned about known as ‘Atarimae’, which is the cultural expectation that cleanliness is both normal and expected from everyone. Even if they are not in Japan for a sporting event, Japanese fans will often clean up after themselves and their section after pure habit because it was ingrained in them from such an early age.

These fans don’t see themselves doing anything out of the ordinary or exceptional and while they are admired for it by other nationalities especially as guests or visitors, the Japanese fans often shrug and remark how it’s just a normal cultural practice for them even when they are not mandated to clean up after themselves in these stadiums. Often times in Western culture, we praise those who clean our streets, stadiums, and public areas, but we often pay them little for their hard work and instead of asking everyday citizens to pitch in to do it more often or to pay our custodians and cleaning staff better, we do neither and wonder why there is less communal responsibility as a result here.

In Japanese culture, especially in sporting culture, it doesn’t matter if their team won or lost, cleanliness and having respect for your surroundings is non-negotiable. This attitude also extends to the players themselves who clean their locker rooms, leave thank you notes to their hosts, and leave their space better than they found it, inspiring others with their example going forward. Character often shows itself most when nobody else is watching or expecting someone to go above and beyond but that’s exactly what these fans, players, and supporters are doing. Collectively, cleaning is seen as respect for the shared space and for other people around you. In these sporting events, the Japanese fans will not just clean their own immediate space but for others’ as well and work together as a team in the section or in the whole stadium.

Oftentimes, in Japan, “This is our space and we should take care of it together.” I’ve found that in the U.S. we ask others with pay or to volunteer to help solve the issue rather than see it as a collective responsibility. The Japanese proverb that is often cited focuses on “don’t leave a place worse than when you depart from it.” I believe this is something that while Japanese in origin should apply to the rest of us too. This one idea alone could help cities and countries adapt more, especially when it comes to reducing pollution or helping our growing waste problem. Incentivizing people to clean up after themselves, to not leave shared space messy, and to start imparting that message from a young age should not be specific to one culture but about promoting a global consciousness around this important issue.

In my own country, cleanliness can vary widely but there have been multiple times where I’ve seen trash left behind in stadiums, people don’t flush after themselves or leave the bathroom in good shape, concerts have sticky floors from spilled alcohol, overflowing bins in my neighborhood because the city doesn’t have enough of them or they are not held onto until the tourists go home, etc. I could go on and on but the dominant cultural mindset is that “there’s staff or people who will clean up after me” and while that is true, I still think it’s in poor form to not throw things out, to make a mess and not clean it up, and to pass on the problem to somebody else. I have been guilty of this myself and I’m not proud of it in terms of leaving trash behind in a stadium or movie theater, and I recognize that now. I hope to get better at it and tell friends and family politely to do the same as me.

When responsibility is outsourced to others, behavior will follow accordingly in this case. When we internalize a new behavior or see others change theirs, culture can shift over time especially regarding cleanliness. When people are seen to clean up after themselves especially foreigners in a football stadium who practice what they preach, others will follow this example and set a new trend. Culture isn’t something to be enforced but it can be mirrored when we see others who have expectations of themselves that we didn’t even think would be possible in our own culture.

Not everyone is perfect and I don’t want to stereotype a whole country regarding cleanliness practices, which can vary depending on the individual context. Social pressure and conformity expectations do have their own drawbacks in certain areas but I do believe that encouragement can be healthy in terms of promoting trash pickup, leaving a place better than you found it, and taking responsibility for your actions in a public place, these are not negative behaviors to me and I think we’d all be better off for encouraging these positive actions like the Japanese fans at a World Cup stadium.

Having lived in other countries, every country has a different relationship to cleanliness and what constitutes civic responsibility, but I do believe that a healthier, happier society is one where the individual thinks more of him or herself in a social context and is in harmony with their environment. We are not an island unto ourselves and what we do has an effect not only on our surroundings but on the wider planet we all share together. The question to summarize isn’t why Japanese fans clean stadiums. The question is why the rest of us don’t and what it would take to make that kind of behavior feel just as normal. Because culture doesn’t change through rules, regulations, or fines, it changes when enough people decide that leaving a place better than they find it isn’t extraordinary, it’s just what you choose to do.

Some People Grow Old but Don’t Grow Up

“However, when you realize that aging responsibly is a choice rather than a given and it comes down to acting and being responsible as an effort, you’ll begin to see why not everybody has that trait nor do they even try to emulate it.”

Growing older is inevitable and hopefully all of us reading this article will live long, healthy lives because getting an elder age is never guaranteed in life. While growing old is inevitable naturally, becoming emotionally mature and experiencing personal growth are choices that not everyone makes or even want to try. We all know someone in our lives who acts like they are still in their 20s when they are pushing 40 or decides to avoid acting like their given age altogether even when they’re a grown adult and have been for a while. Some people age without maturing and it can be difficult to wrap your head around why that is the case. However, when you realize that aging responsibly is a choice rather than a given and it comes down to acting and being responsible as an effort, you’ll begin to see why not everybody has that trait nor do they even try to emulate it.

Just because the years pile on top of each other doesn’t mean that you’ve learned anything about life, responsibility, or self-awareness. I’ve known people who do act their age or even beyond their years and I’ve known others who never mature emotionally or try to do so when they are double my age or even more senior. The skills that one must exercise in adulthood are not innate as we are taught when we are young. Adulthood involves having self-awareness, being accountable for one’s actions, both good and bad, and emotionally regulating your behavior especially around loved ones and friends. Some people collect birthdays like stamps but never collect wisdom or thoughtfulness or responsibility. Being a full-fledged adult takes more than paying your taxes and holding a job, it’s about having adult characteristics too, which are either magnified by our life experiences or diminished by the lack thereof.

Some adults act like teenagers when they gossip about others, dodge responsibility, chase instant gratification endlessly, and avoid anything that feels ‘grown up.’ Sadly, even when the adult in question has children or is supposed to be a caretaker for an elderly relative or parent, they often shirk that responsibility too even when they have no excuse for it. Some examples to look out for with people who never grow up in adulthood are when they never or seldom apologize for bad behavior, always blame others for their misfortune, avoid financial responsibility, prioritize the party lifestyle, or choose material gains over building healthy relationships.

If someone is always complaining or gossiping or is constantly unreliable at the workplace, in their friendships, and in their romantic life, they might want to look at themselves in the mirror rather than point the finger at someone else to blame. The ‘Peter Pan’ effect seems to be getting amplified by social media rather than diminished where people care more about hedonistic pursuits than doing their own inner work on a consistent basis to be a more responsible adult.

Acting immature and irresponsible as an adult doesn’t just hurt the person but also can wreck their friendships, relationships, and career. Age alone doesn’t excuse behavior and even when we look up to our elders especially as they are more senior than us in not just age, but rank, title, or other status, that doesn’t excuse poor behavior at the end of the day. Emotional immaturity can create tension and misunderstandings that can destroy a team, a group, a leadership committee, and more personal relationships. If you’ve ever dealt with an unreliable friend, a partner who wouldn’t apologize, or a coworker who couldn’t handle criticism or any negative feedback, you’re likely aware of how immature some adults can be. If you’re like me, you’ve likely been frustrated by someone older than you who acted like a teenager or a child.

In a world which continued to be obsessed with youth, fun, and overall frivolity, it’s easier now than ever to want to put off growing up with society rewarding those who never do especially in roles of leadership and social prominence. These cultural pressures including social media, influencer lifestyles, and late adulthood indulgences mask a deeper issue of society glamorizing irresponsibility, lack of responsibility to one another, or pursuing eternal youth when adults should be pursuing wisdom, accountability, and emotional maturity. Those who embrace personal growth and emotional intelligence may not be “cool” or “fun” or have the best “vibes”, but you need serious and responsible adults in charge and being accountable to one another.

Growing up means owning your mistakes, apologizing when you were wrong, learning from your errors, and treating others with kindness and empathy, especially when it’s hard. I find it rare nowadays from my own personal life to see others around me apologize for their poor behavior or to do so sincerely to make amends but that is a huge part of being a real adult. When you apologize sincerely, it shows that you care about being a mature person.

This kind of responsible adult behavior also extends t0 managing your finances and relationships responsibly, navigating conflict constructively, and thinking deeply about how your actions and words affect other people. Maturity isn’t perfect but it involves trying, falling, and trying again. Each day, I want you to think about how you can be a more responsible adult who is in tune with your emotions, able to be responsible for your actions, and being able to practice some self-awareness.

What’s the payoff for growing up and not just growing old? Well, you’ll have deeper connections, real life satisfaction, and the kind of confidence about knowing who you are rather than projecting a false image of who you want to be all the time. To me, meaningful relationships and positive friendships, having career stability and growth, and showing mental resilience in the face of adversity, which faces every adult regardless of who you are all benefits of true adulthood. Those who don’t grow up and still act like they are 15 at 50 or 30 at 75 are going to feel stuck in an earlier life stage forever and will be envious, unfulfilled, or jealous of how others achieve more peace of mind because of their emotional balance. Growth may be hard and even painful at times but it’s worth it in the long run especially when it comes to navigating life as you get older.

Yes, getting older is inevitable though that is a privilege that not everybody gets to have too, but choosing to grow up consciously is what makes life meaningful, memorable, and worth living. Immaturity may be satisfying at first to avoid being responsible, accountable, or needing to make sacrifices but the costs will eventually weigh the benefits especially as you naturally continue to age. We all have the choice on how we age and how we can grow and mature with each age. It is a lifelong process where there is both progress and setbacks bit for which it is important to leave a positive memory behind for those who can speak about your character, your maturity, and your overall manner as a human being. Remember to not just collect birthdays as the years pass by, collect wisdom, courage, and the kind of growth that lasts until your last day.

Don’t Degrade Yourself for Money or Power – A Timeless Lesson from ‘Marty Supreme’

“The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.”

*Spoilers ahead for the 2025 film, ‘Marty Supreme’, Directed by Josh Safdie*

Even when a movie is based on a fictional story, there are still kernels of truth that can be taken from it. Such is the case for the critically acclaimed and highly rated movie that came out recently on Christmas Day, 2025: ‘Marty Supreme.’ Without giving away too much of the movie’s plot and setting, I’ll focus instead on a major theme from the movie and how it applies to real life. The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.

The main character of ‘Marty Supreme’, Marty Mauser, an up-and-coming tennis table contender on the world stage who’s also chasing fame, fortune, and notoriety in pursuing his overall dream of being the best. He also has his eyes and heart set on pursuing a beautiful movie star he comes across on a table tennis tour (despite her being a married woman).

Marty is a polarizing yet mesmerizing character but like the rest of the film’s characters, you can’t help being enamored by his boundless vision, clear goal, and strong determination. Despite my sympathizing with Marty in terms of his drive, work ethic, and grit, the film does a great job of showing how one’s morality, one’s relationships, and ultimate one’s soul can be corrupted in the pursuit of fulfilling a lifelong dream despite the obstacles involved, but at what cost to oneself?

Without giving away too many spoilers as I do encourage you to see the film before making your own judgment, Marty continually degrades himself in his behavior towards others, his association with shady characters who want to see him humiliated on purpose, and in his callous treatment towards competitors who stand in the way of his overall goal. In ‘Marty Supreme’, I found it as an overall cautionary tale for me and others in pursuit of our own goals and dreams in life in treading carefully. No dream, vision, or goal is worth losing your soul over. Think about the limits you should place on yourself in achieving your goals or dreams because you should assuredly do so to protect your soul. One that is a non-negotiable for me and hopefully for others is to not degrade yourself in any way for either money, power, or fame.

Keeping one’s morals, values, and character intact is priceless and no amount of money, power, or fame should ever change that. You must draw boundaries and limits with other people especially when they promise to help you in achieving your goal. Unfortunately, Marty Mauser forgets that in ‘Marty Supreme’ and it ends up costing him dearly along the way. He degrades himself to receive financial assistance in exchange to help him reach his long-desired goal but in the process of doing so, he loses his dignity, self-respect, and humiliates himself in front of other people. Any of our dreams can turn into real nightmares if we don’t impose non-negotiables or boundaries on ourselves and on others on what we are willing to tolerate to achieve success.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong competitive spirit, pushing yourself to the limit mentally or physically, and narrowing your focus on achieving a big goal or dream. However, where you run into possible problems or issues is when you put others in the driver’s seat and let them dictate the terms of how, why, or what they want you to do to achieve money, power, or other success. Don’t lose control over your own destiny and don’t be so desperate to achieve your goal or dream that you embarrass, humiliate, or otherwise degrade yourself to make it a reality. You never want to put your own autonomy at risk, get in deep with dirtbags or scoundrels, or sacrifice your friendships or relationships in the pursuit of your own success.

Being able to walk away, say no, and keep your morals intact is worth more than all the gold and glory that this life has to offer. Remember to evaluate the character and morals of those people you surround yourself with on the road to your goal or dream. Be able to step back, assess who you’re getting involved with, what’s their possible angle in supporting you, and do they have your best interests at heart or are they using you to an end?  I’ve watched this dynamic unfold time and again, from front-page scandals to the corridors of power, where money and ambition slowly corrode the very friendships and relationships that once mattered most.

Success that requires you to abandon your dignity isn’t success. It’s a transaction with a price you’ll eventually regret paying. ‘Marty Supreme’ reminds us that ambition without boundaries doesn’t lead to fulfillment; it leads to self-betrayal. The real victory isn’t reaching the top at any cost; it’s being able to look at yourself along the way and still recognize who you are. If achieving your dream requires you to humiliate yourself, surrender your autonomy, or tolerate people who don’t respect you, then the dream is already compromised. Money can be earned back. Power can shift hands quickly. Fame fades as priorities change. However, once you give away your self-respect, getting it back is a hell of a lot harder. Choose your boundaries wisely and guard them like your life depends on it. 

The Lost Skill of Making People Feel Seen

“Most people aren’t lonely because they lack friends, they’re lonely because nobody truly sees them. In a world of constant interactions, at work, online, or in our daily routines, these moments are often shallow, rushed, and forgettable.”

Most people aren’t lonely because they lack friends, they’re lonely because nobody truly sees them. In a world of constant interactions, at work, online, or in our daily routines, these moments are often shallow, rushed, and forgettable.

One of the best books I’ve read recently on this subject is from New York Times writer and columnist, David Brooks, who authored the book, ‘How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen’ in October 2023. The core idea of his book was that you can divide people into two camps of ‘Illuminators vs. Diminishers’, with illuminators making people feel recognized, clearer, more important, and the diminishers who make interactions about themselves or forget about the other person (often not on purpose). If attention is now the primary currency in our lives, giving or receiving quality attention is the key difference in seeing others fully.

Let’s go into what ‘feeling seen’ means in 2025 and what it doesn’t because it can get confusing if you’re new to this concept. Feeling seen is not about just agreeing with someone, praising them effusively, being ‘nice’ or ‘kind’, fixing their problems for them, dumping your own problems or inadequacies on them to compensate in return for them sharing their issues. Rather, feeling seen is about being perceived accurately and without judgment often, having your inner logic understood and how you see the world, and feeling that your emotions are being recognized rather than just analyzed and interpreted.

An example of this in action could be a friend, a spouse, or a co-worker telling you, “I don’t necessarily agree with you here, but I understand why that matters to you and I see your perspective.” Being able to let that person know that you know where they are coming from in their views and why it matters to them makes a huge difference in your personal and professional life.

Technological and other daily distractions aside, there are various reasons why people don’t feel fully seen nowadays. Most people are not patient in waiting for their turn to talk, rehearse their response in advance while you’re still speaking, filtering everything through themselves and what they would do, or just not wanting to understand when they listen. If you are not seeing someone enough, start with listening to understand the other person rather than listening to reply or putting themselves in their shoes right away. You cannot see someone else while you’re playing their role in your own mental movies or thinking through what you would do, say, or behave in their shoes.

Like any social skill, there are ways to make someone feel more seen and to build up that skill like it’s a positive habit. The more you use, repeat, and solidify these response tactics, the more comfortable other people will feel around you. First, listen to the emotion that they are carrying with their words even if they don’t express it outright. Train yourself to hear the ‘fear, anxiety, pride, shame, sadness, frustration, hope, joy, etc. that they exude with their cadence and tone beyond the words they are saying. Being able to voice what emotions they may be expressing to you in their words is very powerful and will make someone feel very seen. For example, “You sound disappointed, not angry, about ____.” As David Brooks wrote about ‘illuminators’, seeing people’s emotions clearly even if they aren’t telling you with their words what exactly they are feeling is a very useful people skill.

Second, I think it’s key to asking expanding questions, rather than extractive or basic ones. Good questions open doors to a deeper and more fulfilling conversation while bad questions can feel like an interview or an interrogation. A good question could be, “What part of your work gives you the most fulfillment?”, which can expand the conversation and take that person through a positive memory or a feeling of contentedness sharing what they do for a living in a specific way. Rather than an extractive question that may not lead anywhere that we often hear a lot as “So, what do you do?” If the question helps them understand better or explains why someone does what they do, you’re doing it the right way.

Additionally, some other ways to make others feel seen is to avoid pivoting to yourself right away. You should want to reflect on the conversation rather than redirect it to be about yourself or what you would do. For example, you could say “What I’m hearing from you is ____”, allowing that person to know that you were paying attention but also that you heard them correctly in terms of their viewpoint. Remember to ask questions that open the conversation, not trap it. Name specific strengths you notice. These small moves make someone feel truly seen. A friend once told me they felt burnt out by their job. In this case, just nodding back wasn’t enough, but I reflected on their frustrations with their work environment, and it completely shifted the conversation

Naming the strength(s) and good qualities of a person is also an excellent way to make them feel seen. Instead of calling someone you respect ‘smart, clever, hard-working’, go deeper than that by taking why you think they are that way and what it is specifically that led you to come to that conclusion about them. At a meeting once, instead of saying “Good point. I said, ‘I see why that approach would make sense given the constraints you’re dealing with.”

Lastly, people are unfinished characters meaning that they are complex, deep, and contradictory at times. Mr. Brooks’s book emphasizes the need to have a ‘moral imagination’ about someone to get beyond who you think they are just because you know their politics, childhood, job, worst moment(s). Assume in good faith that there is a lot more going on in a person’s life than you currently understand and try to hold judgment about them based just on the information that you have available about them.

Being seen by another person deeply is a great feeling and is increasingly rare these days. Seeing others requires courage, dedication, and attention, which is in short supply. The ability to see and be seen demands humility, slowing ourselves down, removing our ego armor, and being present with them fully. It is also worth noting that the people who feel most unseen by others end up being the worst at seeing others in response as it becomes a negative cycle. If you’re not seen at all or at least a little bit, why would you want to do the same for others rather than breaking the cycle?

Making others feel seen changes you for the better as a person. When you see others well, your relationships deepen, you become a better leader, your conflicts soften or end, and your own sense of personal meaning grows as a result. As Brooks writes in ‘How to Know a Person’, “To know other person well is one of the highest forms of love.” I think this is a great lesson worth imparting on us all to try to illuminate other people as often as people and to do so in a consistent manner. I’ve seen it personally in my classrooms, work meetings, or even casual coffee chats as people light up when someone hears them and not just nods along.

Try this once today: make someone feel truly understood. Watch what happens. Whether it’s a comment, a reflection, a thoughtful question, a moment of real attention without distraction, you can make a positive difference in that person’s life, especially if they are going through a tough time. You don’t need grand gestures, just presence, attention, and care. In a world obsessed with being seen, the rarest superpower is knowing how to see.

I’ll Take Kind Gestures Over Kind Words Any Day

“When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.”

When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.

Even rarer than kind words are kind actions. Post-COVID, people’s social skills have atrophied, making everyday courtesies harder to come by. Things like holding the door, walking on the right side of the sidewalk, or letting someone merge on the highway might seem small but they matter far more than words alone, and we could all use more of them.

Having these kinds of gestures be optional instead of compulsory represents an overall reflection of the fracturing of what used to be common courtesy along with the kind of bare minimum expectations we have of one another too often. Instead of kind gestures, we often have the opposite now: people being loud in public places, not using earphones or headphones on their meetings or in the music they listen to, or just not minding their body language or others’ personal space. I value the importance of these basic gestures because they take such little time or self-awareness yet have become harder to find even when I consider them to be increasingly important to societal harmony.

It’s one thing for strangers to abstain from kind gestures or words but it’s entirely another when they come from business associates, colleagues, family, or friends. Taking the initiative and building a two-sided friendship or relationship, professional or personal, doesn’t take much to sustain but it truly can make a world of difference to the other person(s). Such kind gestures mean more than the average word could ever and people really remember those sincere actions more than giving a basic compliment or heaping on effusive praise.

These kind gestures depend on the kind of relationship you have with the person or group in question, but sending business associates a holiday card or remembering their birthday can strengthen the relationship significantly. You could also offer to buy them coffee or tea for providing advice or mentorship with your work or business. With work colleagues, it doesn’t hurt to share your appreciation in giving a kind word for them, but it could mean much more to bring in food or drinks for lunch or help them with a problem they are having on a difficult project. If you’re a manager, kind words are nice to hear but recognizing your employees with a bonus, a promotion, or just an award or other kind of real recognition can make a huge difference with morale building or employee retention at your firm.

With one’s family and friends, it’s always important to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and show your appreciation for their presence in your life. However, it’s always better to take the initiative to ask them out for a dinner or a concert or just to give them a call consistently to check-in with them and see how they’re really doing. Keeping a friendship or family relationship in good shape is hard to do but at least making the effort to see each other and to do so in a two-way manner is key to keeping it sustainable.

Being complimentary, supportive, and positive are all great with your words but real actions or gestures will always speak loudest. That’s especially the case when you’ve known that person a long time and have a history together. Sometimes, friendships end out of nowhere and family bonds are breakable by one party or the other, but if you want to make a real effort, make sure to rely on kind gestures primarily because they mean a lot more to someone than your words.

These days, it’s hard to get kind words out of strangers or people you don’t know and even more so when it comes to expecting basic social graces or gestures of kindness. As a result, we are starved for those kinds of gestures and actions that are unprompted, considerate, and relevant to us. We need those friends, family, and even close associates doing kind things for us and for them to be reciprocated as well because it helps foster our happiness, joy, and overall life satisfaction more than we think.

Kindness begets kindness. While words can move the needle, gestures, actions, and time spent together make a world of difference. Remember: kind words are the minimum of a polite society but making kind gestures second nature to you, especially for the people in your orbit, will make your life richer and fuller. Tomorrow, remember to hold the door for someone, send that quick ‘thank you’ note if someone did something kind for you, or buy a mentor or a friend a cup of coffee. Small gestures always make a big impact, which makes life better for everyone.

Self-Awareness is a Key Trait to Cultivate

“In a world where everyone has an opinion on every imaginable topic, but very few people have genuine self-awareness, that quality now feels like a rare mineral. True self-awareness is valuable, hard to find, and even harder to refine if you do not cultivate it like copper or silver.”

In a world where everyone has an opinion on every imaginable topic, but very few people have genuine self-awareness, that quality now feels like a rare mineral. True self-awareness is valuable, hard to find, and even harder to refine if you do not cultivate it like copper or silver. At its core, self-awareness is simply understanding your thoughts, emotions, habits, and personal blind spots without flinching or ignoring them. It’s the ability to see yourself honestly instead of through the fog of ego, insecurity, or willful ignorance. That sounds simple, but anyone who’s confronted with their own emotional patterns knows that simple isn’t easy. In terms of personal traits that will serve you well at home, in the workplace, or in public, exercising self-awareness makes a huge difference and is a net positive in one’s life.

Self-awareness is rare today for a few reasons. First, distraction is the default setting of modern life. Between social media, nonstop notifications, and the pressure to perform instead of looking inward about their behavior, most people never slow down long enough to reflect or contemplate who they are or how they act. Secondly, ego protection kicks in for many of us. It’s uncomfortable to recognize that you might be wrong, inconsistent, reactive, or stuck in old habits that drain you or other people. Thirdly, our individualistic culture rewards projection over introspection and putting on an act over being yourself. Being loud, visible, and “on brand” is praised more than being grounded or honest with oneself. The result is a society full of people acting on autopilot, repeating the same behavioral patterns, and wondering why life keeps giving them the same lessons. Introspection is hard to do but it could help get you off an autopilot setting.

When life turns upside down, that’s exactly when self-awareness becomes most valuable. When the world is chaotic, clarity becomes a superpower. The more you understand yourself along with your triggers, your strengths, your weaknesses, your values, the better decisions you will make. You react less to external circumstances and respond more from a place of self-assurance by knowing who you are and what you want to be. Your relationships improve because you’re paying attention to how your behavior affects others. Even your career trajectory changes: self-aware people take feedback well, adapt quickly, and build trust, which quietly but consistently pushes them upward.

The good news for us all in this? Self-awareness isn’t fixed and it’s a muscle you can train. It’s a skill you can cultivate intentionally but you must make a consistent effort to do so successfully. At work, start doing quick “post-project or post-task reviews” for yourself: what went well, what drained you, what you’d do differently, what could be better next time, and how well did you work with others. Ask trusted people for feedback and instead of defending yourself, listen to what they have to say first and what they are genuinely telling you. Notice your stress triggers and learn to pause before reacting, whether it’s in meetings, emails, or elsewhere in your workplace.

I’ve had my own moments at work where I reacted prematurely instead of responding thoughtfully, only to later realize that having self-awareness could’ve saved me a headache. Instead of interrupting, acting abrasive, and preventing a real discussion, think about where they are coming from and why they think of you the way that they do. Focus on the ways that you can improve when they have legitimate critiques and suggestions for improvement in your work performance.

In your personal life, carve out time for your own reflection. Making that kind of effort will pay off tenfold by turning inwards to discover more about your mindset, your thought process, and your personal habits, good or otherwise. Even five minutes of journaling can reveal emotional patterns you never noticed. Try also meditation or silence at the beginning or end of your day and in just ten uninterrupted minutes, it can be surprisingly revealing. Pay attention to your relationships and friendships as well: where you feel energized, where you feel defensive, and where conflicts repeat with the people in your life. Life is too short to be around people who avoid self-awareness. If you are making the effort to be introspective and try to be a better person with self-awareness, you should gravitate to those people in your life who are making that effort too, friends, family or acquaintances especially.

Ultimately, self-awareness isn’t about perfection; it’s about alignment with who you are and how others see you. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it becomes to make choices that fit the life you want. Know yourself deeply. Pause often for self-reflection. The world will stop dictating your path and you finally begin choosing it. 

Seeing The Multiplicity of Human Realities Through Travel

“To me, it’s also about seeing alternate realities in the sense that you get to witness how people around the world have distinct ways of living, thinking, and experiencing the world that challenge and even change your own perspective.”

I have always thought of travel as more than just changing your physical location to another place. To me, it’s also about seeing alternate realities in the sense that you get to witness how people around the world have distinct ways of living, thinking, and experiencing the world that challenge and even change your own perspective.

There’s the saying that you should want to “put yourself in someone else’ shoes” and travel is the best way to do that. By relocating ourselves if even for a few days, a week, or more, you can get a deeper understanding of the seemingly almost endless varieties of the human experience and reflect on the limits or possibilities inherent in our own worldview.

As Mark Twain once famously wrote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” Travel allows us to gain access to a parallel world in a sense where the values of the people, the rhythms of their lives, and their daily routines or priorities differ from our own or they could surprisingly be similar or even the same as our own. In our own town, city, or country, we have such a tight conception of what everyday life should look like that travel allows us to see beyond our own way of living to see how other people live even if just for a short while.

As mentioned earlier, the reality of time and the pace of life can differ depending on the culture and it can help to reshape our own perception of time or daily rhythm that we are most accustomed to. We may think our quality of life is best based on how we spend our time each day, but travel allows us to see the alternatives out there or the different realities that are out there to experience.

For example, if you go to Italy or Spain, you’ll likely be able to have a long lunch, take an hour or two to go home and rest, and there’s a desire to not rush to do things if there’s no need to do it right away. The emphasis on leisure, family time, or catching up with friends can have a huge impact on our own perception of what’s important with our time after seeing what others think is better for mental well-being and what is actually a good use of one’s time. Focusing on ‘time is money’ or ‘efficiency matters most’ is certainly a reality that is out there but there are other alternatives that people around the world embrace and enjoy each day.

Individualism vs. Collectivism is another way to view the priorities that communities have when it comes to how the society is structured and what the role of the community is. How people connect, what they connect over, and when they connect is a useful observation to make when it comes to seeing the reality of community and connection in your travels. Some cultures prioritize family gatherings and a communal approach to problem solving and making decisions collectively. Others including in the United States focus on being independent, relying on yourself, and making something of yourself without relying on your family or community.

Social structures can differ in terms of how strong or weak the social safety net is and if it is prioritized at all. You can get a good sense of how strong a social structure is when you travel based on the use of public spaces, the embracing of local or national festivals, and how the least well-off people are treated in the society. Each culture in my view values community and social cohesion but travel exposes us to different realities regarding how strong or weak the communal ties are and if there is a sense of togetherness or isolation because of how the community or society is.

Every culture also has their reality of what they value and prioritize especially when it comes to how they interact with the world around them, specifically the material world. Different cultures have conceptions of what is essential and what is superfluous to living. You will likely see that each culture has different priorities in terms of consumption and materialism based on their own priorities but also what the culture tells them to prioritize.

Some cultures are okay with minimalism and cleanliness while others highlight material gain and being consumer driven. It is good to be able to travel to see these different realities of materialism vs. minimalism and how you fall on that spectrum. Some cultures are also more spiritual, in tune with nature and environmentalism, and what exactly constitutes personal happiness, fulfillment, and whether consumption falls within those values or whether it is better to have enough, or to go without as much as possible than to have too much.

Each culture also embraces its reality of what constitutes history, memory, and whether they are oriented more to the present, past, or the future. Societies each try to deal with the past in their own way to create a present identity and how to think about their collective future. Having a collective memory is a way to keep your culture relevant and to bring people together as well. All over the world, museums, memorials, and monuments are dedicated to fostering cultures’ collective memory, responsibility, and how to keep the culture going into the future.

We also have ancient ruins that are still there surrounded by modern life, reminding each culture regarding the rise and fall of past civilizations, and how each culture goes through these cycles of prosperity and decline. Historical awareness helps societies shape their values and keep their cultures alive into the future. When you travel, think about if the culture you are experiencing values the past the most or if it is geared more towards the present or even the future. Preservation of history, memory, and cultural artifacts helps us understand any culture or society’s priorities as well.            

By traveling, you are exposing yourself to the multiplicity of human realities, which comes about because of how many different cultures and societies are out there with differing perspectives on time, consumption, values, community, and history itself. It is good to see these realities in person, even if for a quick trip, to not just explore the world for a bit, but to question your own values, beliefs, and worldview. Our assumptions about a culture, a society, and the world at large are often misguided or incomplete. Traveling allows us to redefine the boundaries of our own existence and help us come closer to understanding more what it truly means to live in this world.

Adaptability Is Both Our Greatest Strength And Weakness

“To be, feel, or act the same or to be resistant to change can hurt us in an ever-changing society where we are constantly at the mercy of forces that are beyond our control.”

Being adaptable is largely thought of as a good characteristic and for which you are usually commended for. We try our best to be adaptable to the challenges and opportunities that life throws at us as best as we can. To be, feel, or act the same or to be resistant to change can hurt us in an ever-changing society where we are constantly at the mercy of forces that are beyond our control.

When you can adjust to new conditions or changes, there is usually positive reinforcement from others who also are adaptable to the changes or conditions at the same time. My concern is that while adaptability has helped us thrive in different eras as a species, it has at the same time been a weakness of ours in adapting to norms or behaviors that harm our collective progress.

Adaptability is both our biggest strength and our biggest weakness in that it both allows us to change conditions and norms for the better, but also it can make things worse when we backslide into previous harmful attitudes, values, and beliefs that can make a comeback. Being adaptable has helped humanity survive different tumultuous eras since the early days when we were foraging for basic sustenance and shelter to survive.

The act of adaptation goes back to what makes us innately human, at our core, even when we get used to adapting to less-than-ideal conditions or changes that revert progress we’ve made rather than embracing further progress to our benefit. While change does not always equal to progress, my concern is that when we are adaptable to any kind of change, both positive and negative, without thinking of the consequences of such constant adaptability, we remain at risk for going backwards and worsening our quality of life.

To give a few examples of when adaptability is a strength of ours as a species, I would refer to our ever-increasing desire to assimilate, tolerate, and promote diversity, inclusion, and equity in our world. This social inclusion and desire for equal rights has been an adaptation that is rather recent when you consider how far humanity has come from the centuries and millennia of mistreatment, discrimination, slavery, and wars that were fought to keep the horrible status quo of how we treat each other.

Our ability to adapt to making sure that this previous status quo was no longer acceptable and repugnant in terms of previous attitudes has led to greater tolerance, acceptance, and more diversity throughout the world. Yes, there are still challenges to our adaptability in this important area but to say that we haven’t made progress in this area of life would be a falsehood. Being able to adapt successfully to these societal changes has by and large been a positive development in my lifetime and beforehand earlier on in the 20th century. While there has been negative resistance to this kind of adaptability, I’ve found there has been most people accepting these changes that have gone on and while the struggle continues, this strength of humanity to seek greater equality and inclusion has been a net positive of our adaptability mechanism.

In addition to that previous point, the expansion of social and economic rights to more and more people throughout the world have led to greater political and civil rights as a result. They have been tied to each other and have been a positive step in the right direction. There is greater representation politically and economically for more diverse populations than ever before and while progress still needs to be made, the status quo has been upended by our adaptability in this area to these kinds of societal changes.

While adaptability is our greatest strength, it can also be our greatest weakness ironically, and this has been shown in different areas of life where there has been a reversal of progress recently or too much comfort shown with a lack of progress. I’ll point to two different areas where there been a reluctant yet steady adaptability towards the climate crisis and for democratic backsliding across the world. Where there is significant resistance in both areas, we are running out of time in preventing these new ‘norms’ from taking hold. It’s common knowledge that our planet’s climate is changing with disastrous consequences for livability for more and more people in different worlds.

Longer-lasting heat waves, disastrous storms with greater frequency, and unyielding glacial icecap melting threaten to become the rule of our life on this planet rather than the exception. From my perspective, we have become complacent to these changes and are looking to adapt rather than to work harder to change course. From our political leaders to our civil society, we are looking more and more like we are giving up rather than trying harder to reverse the negative changes set to befall us around the world.

Our ability to adapt to a warming world highlight how while we can adapt to negative changes, many of us will still suffer as a result and some won’t survive this kind of adaptation. Rather than seek to change the status quo in climate action, I believe that we are seeking to adapt to the changes that will befall us despite the harm it will do to the planet and our place in it rather than do our best to collectively try to resist such a negative adaptation.

Related to this regretful kind of adaptability, our political leadership worldwide has failed to martial the resources and the willpower necessary to combat climate change as quickly and as effectively as needed. Instead of championing solutions and working across societies to solve the climate crisis, there has been instead of focus on centralizing power, holding on to political office, and reversing previous norms and values of democratic rule to a forthright shift towards autocratic or dictatorial rule. I think this is a negative adaptation that more and more countries are seemingly getting used to as previous norms, values, and equality under the law are being undermined. It is not too late to reverse the damage done while the power of the vote and the right to assemble and protest is still allowed but that is not a given.

As much as we had to adapt to democratic rule centuries ago, it’s been shown that when there is no fight to keep those norms and values alive, we can just as slide backwards to the days when kings, tyrants, and demagogues ruled by force and decree across broad swaths of the world. Democratic norms and values are not universal values these days but our adaptions to them have largely further greater equality, inclusion, and prosperity than the opposite of autocratic rule. If we get used to the unraveling of previous norms that had served us well as a society to a previous time where we adapted to autocratic norms and rule by the few over the many, then we are in for a rough period of adaptation which will not serve us as well.

Adaptability has largely served humanity well since our early days of foraging and hunter-gathering. It is an innate trait that we must make whatever conditions we live in work well enough for us. Being able to adapt can both help us but also harm us depending on what we are adapting to. Let’s continue to set a higher standard individually and collectively to what we tolerate and adapt to and what we will not adapt to. We still have a choice in what we get used to and for what we do not accept and let’s hope we always will but right now, our adaptability is leading us on a crash course where instead of choosing to adapt to our surroundings, we will be forced to do so and will have to do so as a result without having had the choice in previous eras.

Be Careful Of Who You Associate With

“One key trait that is often undervalued is knowing how to spot someone who is not just friendly, kind, and decent but who values this kind of traits and characteristics in other people whom they surround themselves with professional and/or personally.”

A good way to examine someone’s character and moral values is who they surround themselves with. Whether they are a friend, a family member, a public figure, or even someone in the workplace, you can tell a lot about someone based on who they spend their time with or confide in. One key trait that is often undervalued is knowing how to spot someone who is not just friendly, kind, and decent but who values this kind of traits and characteristics in other people whom they surround themselves with professional and/or personally.

You must be able to get comfortable with both analyzing and understanding how other people act and whether their behavior or their personality will not just be good for you but also whether it is good for other people too. It’s often overlooked but being able to assess accurately the character of a man or a woman is key to keeping potential trouble or problems out of your life as a result. It can take a lot of time to really get to the heart of who someone is but if you feel that you want to truly know that person deeply and how they act not only to you but towards other people, it’s important to spend a lot of time around them not only privately but publicly as well to get a real sense of who they are.

Remember that who you surround yourself with by choice reflects either good or bad on you. We can’t choose our family members, but we can choose who are friends are, who we have a relationship with, which work colleagues we mentor or learn from, and our other associates in our network of personal or professional connections, however casual they may be to us. If you don’t take the time to truly assess someone’s moral compass, their character, and their overall behavior, you may be drawn into negative situations or circumstances that could affect your life badly.

Do not put yourself into those kinds of negative situations in life by choice where you could have instead cut ties with the person(s) who were affecting your life poorly. Be able to say ‘no’, walk away, maintain your distance, or cut ties permanently to preserve your own peace and your own moral character. It is extremely important in life to avoid the sycophants, suckups, liars, cronies, fools, toadies, goons, and flunkeys who can make our life much more complicated or worse as a result.

Life is too short to hang around people of poor behavior and character especially when you have a choice in the matter. That is why it is so key to be careful of the people who you associate with freely. I encourage everyone reading these words to take seriously how you size up your fellow man or woman even if it is a casual connection or someone in your general network of connections. Who you surround yourself with says a lot about a person and you do not want your connections or friends or network to reflect poorly on you.

It is often said that a man’s / woman’s reputation is built over decades but can be lost in minutes or hours. Surround yourself with people of moral fiber and good character and your reputation will be positive as a result. There are so many numerous examples of public figures or well-known people in our society who do such a poor job of surrounding themselves with the right people and it harms so many others as a result. People who cannot judge the character of someone well enough should have no business being a leader or overseeing a company, organization, or a country. Judgment of character is a key skill that must be honed over the course of our lives whether it is thinking of having that person as a friend, a romantic partner, or a business associate.

When you can judge character well and find good people to surround yourself with, the benefits of doing so will reverberate throughout your life. You will have much less stress, anxiety, and experience much less negativity as a result. Your own reputation won’t suffer, and you’ll be able to spend time better with those good people creating both positive experiences and the good memories from them. In addition, you want to have people not only of good character and moral fiber but to have people around you who will tell you the truth, tell you what they really think, let you know when you’re messing up, and who will support you during the good times and the bad.

Being around people who lie to you, mislead you, talk about you behind your back, kiss up to you, or act phony around you are not worth the time or the effort to keep around you at all. It takes a while to really get to know someone but if you let people who you don’t vet or don’t really get to know into your life especially your inner, private life, you are asking for trouble as a result. Maybe you will have fewer friends or a smaller professional network because of your own vetting or analysis of people around you but to me, it’s always better to have a few true friends and associates than a bunch of liars, sycophants, and phonies who tell you what you want to hear rather than what you need to hear.

Please be careful of who you associate with whoever they may be. Be sure to know how to evaluate and assess the people in your life and believe in your own intuition of who a person is and whether they deserve to be part of your life. Remember that who you surround yourself with reflects who you are as a person. Don’t try to be everyone’s friend and have suspect people in your life as a result. Find people of strong moral character, vet them well, and make sure you and they continue to do good and be good to themselves and to others in life.