The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

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Don’t Sleepwalk Your Way Through Life

“As much as you want to go through life with a constant routine, when you instead establish new habits, hobbies, and places to visit, it’s best to mix it up and do what you can to make the most out of this one life you have.”

Turbulent times have a way of stripping life down to its essentials. It can make you appreciate what you have in life more and not take what you have for granted. When the headlines are gripping and uncertainty lingers each day, you realize how fragile our routines and habits really are. While it’s tempting to go through the motions and drift through our days on autopilot, by going to the same coffee house, driving the same commute, having the same conversations and making the same excuses, you should be taking off the autopilot instead and homing in more on what makes life enjoyable. As much as you want to go through life with a constant routine, when you instead establish new habits, hobbies, and places to visit, it’s best to mix it up and do what you can to make the most out of this one life you have.

I’ve caught myself sleepwalking before in my life. Not physically, but mentally. Waking up, checking my phone, answering emails, going through meetings, making the usual commute, working out at the same gym, eating dinner, scrolling, and sleeping. Productive on paper but not really waking up my senses to the full extent. This kind of routine can sap your spirit over time. It wasn’t that anything was wrong, but it can get boring after a while. That was the problem for me and for many others I suspect. There’s nothing wrong with what I was doing, and I still have my routine that I enjoy. However, nothing in my life was expanding either or challenging me enough. My life was efficient and that efficiency was quietly numbing me.

The truth is that living life on autopilot feels responsible, especially in adulthood. It feels mature and what is expected of us at a certain age. Routine keeps the bills paid and the calendar organized. Routine, when left unchecked, becomes a cage you build yourself and can be suffocating after a while. The brain loves predictability as it conserves its energy. Routine avoids discomfort and novelty unless you force yourself to be different and try new things. True growth doesn’t happen in conservation mode or by playing it safe. Growth demands friction and friction requires intention, which means making the effort to break the routine you impose on yourself.

For myself, it’s always been travel that has exposed the lie of living life on autopilot almost instantly, especially from my solo travels. It’s hard to drift through life when you can’t read the street signs, when you’re ordering food in broken Spanish, Turkish, or German, when you don’t fully understand the cultural cues or conversations around you. You’re alert, present, and living in the moment. The precious moments where you’re slightly uncomfortable but also feeling fully alive are the best for me. I live for those moments every chance I get to experience them even when they’re harder to come by as I get older. The colors and smells you sense feel sharper. Conversations feel deeper and livelier. Time stretches rather than drags me down. It’s not about how each country is magical but rather that you are fully awake and experiencing life more fully.

Waking up and taking yourself off autopilot isn’t dramatic, but it should be a deliberate effort. It’s choosing an unfamiliar conversation instead of a safe one. It’s taking a different route home. It’s signing up for something new you might be bad at but want to try anyway to see how it goes. It’s reading different books and engaging people who may not share the beliefs or views as you. It’s learning twenty new words in a language you don’t “need” but desire to learn to expand your horizons. It’s asking yourself, honestly, “When was the last time I felt truly engaged?”

You don’t need to burn your life down and leave your responsibilities behind, which is a false choice. You need to interrupt it and bring something into your life to make it more enjoyable.

Turbulent times are unsettling and especially at this moment we’re living in around the world. At the same time, they’re clarifying what really should matter to you. They remind you that stability and prosperity are never guaranteed. Political systems shift. Jobs will change. Borders can close. Health falters. Family and friendship ties fade. When you accept that inherent fragility to life, you stop assuming you have endless tomorrows to play around with. When tomorrow isn’t promised, living your life on autopilot becomes a risk you can’t afford to take.

You get one life. No rehearsal. No dress rehearsal. No backup plan for the 2^nd one. The world is unpredictable enough so don’t make your inner world predictable too. Refuse to sleepwalk through the years as they go by faster. Shake up your routines. Question your assumptions, values, and beliefs. Chase what unsettles you in a healthy way. Stay curious about the world and the people in it. Stay moving as much as possible. Because the greatest tragedy in life isn’t the inevitable turbulence that will come your way. It’s the numbness you’ll experience if you don’t choose to make this life the best it can be.

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Frederiksborg Castle

“Frederiksborg Castle in Hillerød, Denmark – a Renaissance masterpiece framed by water, silence, and centuries of Danish history.”

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Frederiksborg Slot (Castle), Hillerød, Denmark

Some People Grow Old but Don’t Grow Up

“However, when you realize that aging responsibly is a choice rather than a given and it comes down to acting and being responsible as an effort, you’ll begin to see why not everybody has that trait nor do they even try to emulate it.”

Growing older is inevitable and hopefully all of us reading this article will live long, healthy lives because getting an elder age is never guaranteed in life. While growing old is inevitable naturally, becoming emotionally mature and experiencing personal growth are choices that not everyone makes or even want to try. We all know someone in our lives who acts like they are still in their 20s when they are pushing 40 or decides to avoid acting like their given age altogether even when they’re a grown adult and have been for a while. Some people age without maturing and it can be difficult to wrap your head around why that is the case. However, when you realize that aging responsibly is a choice rather than a given and it comes down to acting and being responsible as an effort, you’ll begin to see why not everybody has that trait nor do they even try to emulate it.

Just because the years pile on top of each other doesn’t mean that you’ve learned anything about life, responsibility, or self-awareness. I’ve known people who do act their age or even beyond their years and I’ve known others who never mature emotionally or try to do so when they are double my age or even more senior. The skills that one must exercise in adulthood are not innate as we are taught when we are young. Adulthood involves having self-awareness, being accountable for one’s actions, both good and bad, and emotionally regulating your behavior especially around loved ones and friends. Some people collect birthdays like stamps but never collect wisdom or thoughtfulness or responsibility. Being a full-fledged adult takes more than paying your taxes and holding a job, it’s about having adult characteristics too, which are either magnified by our life experiences or diminished by the lack thereof.

Some adults act like teenagers when they gossip about others, dodge responsibility, chase instant gratification endlessly, and avoid anything that feels ‘grown up.’ Sadly, even when the adult in question has children or is supposed to be a caretaker for an elderly relative or parent, they often shirk that responsibility too even when they have no excuse for it. Some examples to look out for with people who never grow up in adulthood are when they never or seldom apologize for bad behavior, always blame others for their misfortune, avoid financial responsibility, prioritize the party lifestyle, or choose material gains over building healthy relationships.

If someone is always complaining or gossiping or is constantly unreliable at the workplace, in their friendships, and in their romantic life, they might want to look at themselves in the mirror rather than point the finger at someone else to blame. The ‘Peter Pan’ effect seems to be getting amplified by social media rather than diminished where people care more about hedonistic pursuits than doing their own inner work on a consistent basis to be a more responsible adult.

Acting immature and irresponsible as an adult doesn’t just hurt the person but also can wreck their friendships, relationships, and career. Age alone doesn’t excuse behavior and even when we look up to our elders especially as they are more senior than us in not just age, but rank, title, or other status, that doesn’t excuse poor behavior at the end of the day. Emotional immaturity can create tension and misunderstandings that can destroy a team, a group, a leadership committee, and more personal relationships. If you’ve ever dealt with an unreliable friend, a partner who wouldn’t apologize, or a coworker who couldn’t handle criticism or any negative feedback, you’re likely aware of how immature some adults can be. If you’re like me, you’ve likely been frustrated by someone older than you who acted like a teenager or a child.

In a world which continued to be obsessed with youth, fun, and overall frivolity, it’s easier now than ever to want to put off growing up with society rewarding those who never do especially in roles of leadership and social prominence. These cultural pressures including social media, influencer lifestyles, and late adulthood indulgences mask a deeper issue of society glamorizing irresponsibility, lack of responsibility to one another, or pursuing eternal youth when adults should be pursuing wisdom, accountability, and emotional maturity. Those who embrace personal growth and emotional intelligence may not be “cool” or “fun” or have the best “vibes”, but you need serious and responsible adults in charge and being accountable to one another.

Growing up means owning your mistakes, apologizing when you were wrong, learning from your errors, and treating others with kindness and empathy, especially when it’s hard. I find it rare nowadays from my own personal life to see others around me apologize for their poor behavior or to do so sincerely to make amends but that is a huge part of being a real adult. When you apologize sincerely, it shows that you care about being a mature person.

This kind of responsible adult behavior also extends t0 managing your finances and relationships responsibly, navigating conflict constructively, and thinking deeply about how your actions and words affect other people. Maturity isn’t perfect but it involves trying, falling, and trying again. Each day, I want you to think about how you can be a more responsible adult who is in tune with your emotions, able to be responsible for your actions, and being able to practice some self-awareness.

What’s the payoff for growing up and not just growing old? Well, you’ll have deeper connections, real life satisfaction, and the kind of confidence about knowing who you are rather than projecting a false image of who you want to be all the time. To me, meaningful relationships and positive friendships, having career stability and growth, and showing mental resilience in the face of adversity, which faces every adult regardless of who you are all benefits of true adulthood. Those who don’t grow up and still act like they are 15 at 50 or 30 at 75 are going to feel stuck in an earlier life stage forever and will be envious, unfulfilled, or jealous of how others achieve more peace of mind because of their emotional balance. Growth may be hard and even painful at times but it’s worth it in the long run especially when it comes to navigating life as you get older.

Yes, getting older is inevitable though that is a privilege that not everybody gets to have too, but choosing to grow up consciously is what makes life meaningful, memorable, and worth living. Immaturity may be satisfying at first to avoid being responsible, accountable, or needing to make sacrifices but the costs will eventually weigh the benefits especially as you naturally continue to age. We all have the choice on how we age and how we can grow and mature with each age. It is a lifelong process where there is both progress and setbacks bit for which it is important to leave a positive memory behind for those who can speak about your character, your maturity, and your overall manner as a human being. Remember to not just collect birthdays as the years pass by, collect wisdom, courage, and the kind of growth that lasts until your last day.

Architectural Brilliance in Copenhagen

Checking out different architectural styles and designs from different eras in Copenhagen’s history. In addition, exploring the Opera House, Nyhavn, and Frederik’s Church by foot and by boat during my stay in the Summer of 2024.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Copenhagen, Denmark

A Café Full of Blank Faces

“This surreal experience of mine in the local coffee shop was seeing mostly everyone except for myself wrapped up exclusively in their device, mobile, computer, or another kind of technology rather than interacting with their immediate surroundings.”

Surreal moments often catch you off guard and recently, one hit me in a coffee shop that I like to frequent. These moments are important to reflect on for better or worse though, to see how society has changed immeasurably and perhaps permanently. This surreal experience of mine in the local coffee shop was seeing mostly everyone except for myself wrapped up exclusively in their device, mobile, computer, or another kind of technology rather than interacting with their immediate surroundings.

It was shocking, usually there are a few people browsing their phones casually, catching up on work with their laptops, or just tracking their health data on their digital watch. However, when I looked around and saw that it was basically a sea of screens as each person was locked into their digital world rather than focused on the people there. It was a dystopian scene that is burned into my memory now so much so that I had to explore this societal change further.

In the U.S. especially, it seems like cafes or coffee houses are more for interacting with the digital realm rather than the physical realm, which is quite different from Europe and Latin America where the priority is to meet people or gather with friends or family. It is usually a mix, but in the U.S., cafes seem to have reached a turning point. They focus more on having people be there to work and endure loud or constant music being played in the background, and having people isolated rather than connecting with one another.

While there are still numerous cafes where people are still likely to do poetry slams, play trivia, and are welcoming gathering spaces, my concern is with how eerie it can be when some cafes are solely about work and technology rather than connection and leisure. There are some solutions out there and some bars I’ve heard are even implementing ‘no phones’ as an entry rule to help people to interact with each other rather than their own devices in a shared space.

I personally hope that the ‘no phones’ movement can spread to cafes, community centers, and other third spaces that are increasingly difficult to find in the U.S., especially where you don’t need to pay to sit down, talk, or get to know one another. Having a ‘no technology’ rule for set hours in cafés seems like a great idea to me, especially before or after work hours and making sure that cafes and co-working spaces are not merging to be the same. Community events with no phones would help people sharpen their social skills, minimize distractions, and connect without any devices competing for their attention.

It was jarring for me to see almost the whole café on some sort of device or another except for myself (even though I do tend to check my phone quickly here and there). However, I was meeting someone there so I wanted my attention to be paid to them as much as possible and I am for a technology ban so the connection we would form would be that much easier. Having a rule of ‘no phones’ in cafes or at least ‘no tech’ hours would probably make people happier, more sociable, and allow cafes to sell more to people who would have their undivided attention.

We used to get our dopamine from our social connections and that has been increasingly replaced by responsive AI chatbots, persistent social media notifications, and algorithms focused on our every need. It’s a losing battle right now but we may be at a precipice where people including myself realize that this isn’t sustainable and it isn’t healthy for society to indulge in without limits, even for adults.

One of my favorite shows growing up was ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’, where the all-American diner or the local café was a spot to hang out, talk, play music, and catch up on each other’s lives. These shows from the 1990s-2000s could not possibly be replicated today because the scenes would be showing almost everyone on their phone or laptop and the dialogues would be flat or lackluster. I want cafés, diners, and bars to be more than background noise for our technological devices. Instead, these places should be spaces to connect, to share, and to find a moment of human interaction in a world increasingly dominated by screens.

Cafés, diners, and bars should be refuges from screens, spaces to connect, share, and find a moment of human interaction in a world dominated by devices. It’s time to reclaim these public places, not just for nostalgia, but for our social health. We still need public places to provide a respite from the hustle and bustle of daily life, to let us express ourselves freely, to meet new people, to practice community, and maybe even make some new friends.

Christianshavn and Freetown Christiania

A visit on a beautiful Summer day in July 2024 to Christianshavn neighborhood and the notorious yet highly touristy Freetown Christiania comune in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Christianshavn and Freetown Christiania; Copenhagen, Denmark

Don’t Degrade Yourself for Money or Power – A Timeless Lesson from ‘Marty Supreme’

“The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.”

*Spoilers ahead for the 2025 film, ‘Marty Supreme’, Directed by Josh Safdie*

Even when a movie is based on a fictional story, there are still kernels of truth that can be taken from it. Such is the case for the critically acclaimed and highly rated movie that came out recently on Christmas Day, 2025: ‘Marty Supreme.’ Without giving away too much of the movie’s plot and setting, I’ll focus instead on a major theme from the movie and how it applies to real life. The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.

The main character of ‘Marty Supreme’, Marty Mauser, an up-and-coming tennis table contender on the world stage who’s also chasing fame, fortune, and notoriety in pursuing his overall dream of being the best. He also has his eyes and heart set on pursuing a beautiful movie star he comes across on a table tennis tour (despite her being a married woman).

Marty is a polarizing yet mesmerizing character but like the rest of the film’s characters, you can’t help being enamored by his boundless vision, clear goal, and strong determination. Despite my sympathizing with Marty in terms of his drive, work ethic, and grit, the film does a great job of showing how one’s morality, one’s relationships, and ultimate one’s soul can be corrupted in the pursuit of fulfilling a lifelong dream despite the obstacles involved, but at what cost to oneself?

Without giving away too many spoilers as I do encourage you to see the film before making your own judgment, Marty continually degrades himself in his behavior towards others, his association with shady characters who want to see him humiliated on purpose, and in his callous treatment towards competitors who stand in the way of his overall goal. In ‘Marty Supreme’, I found it as an overall cautionary tale for me and others in pursuit of our own goals and dreams in life in treading carefully. No dream, vision, or goal is worth losing your soul over. Think about the limits you should place on yourself in achieving your goals or dreams because you should assuredly do so to protect your soul. One that is a non-negotiable for me and hopefully for others is to not degrade yourself in any way for either money, power, or fame.

Keeping one’s morals, values, and character intact is priceless and no amount of money, power, or fame should ever change that. You must draw boundaries and limits with other people especially when they promise to help you in achieving your goal. Unfortunately, Marty Mauser forgets that in ‘Marty Supreme’ and it ends up costing him dearly along the way. He degrades himself to receive financial assistance in exchange to help him reach his long-desired goal but in the process of doing so, he loses his dignity, self-respect, and humiliates himself in front of other people. Any of our dreams can turn into real nightmares if we don’t impose non-negotiables or boundaries on ourselves and on others on what we are willing to tolerate to achieve success.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong competitive spirit, pushing yourself to the limit mentally or physically, and narrowing your focus on achieving a big goal or dream. However, where you run into possible problems or issues is when you put others in the driver’s seat and let them dictate the terms of how, why, or what they want you to do to achieve money, power, or other success. Don’t lose control over your own destiny and don’t be so desperate to achieve your goal or dream that you embarrass, humiliate, or otherwise degrade yourself to make it a reality. You never want to put your own autonomy at risk, get in deep with dirtbags or scoundrels, or sacrifice your friendships or relationships in the pursuit of your own success.

Being able to walk away, say no, and keep your morals intact is worth more than all the gold and glory that this life has to offer. Remember to evaluate the character and morals of those people you surround yourself with on the road to your goal or dream. Be able to step back, assess who you’re getting involved with, what’s their possible angle in supporting you, and do they have your best interests at heart or are they using you to an end? I’ve watched this dynamic unfold time and again, from front-page scandals to the corridors of power, where money and ambition slowly corrode the very friendships and relationships that once mattered most.

Success that requires you to abandon your dignity isn’t success. It’s a transaction with a price you’ll eventually regret paying. ‘Marty Supreme’ reminds us that ambition without boundaries doesn’t lead to fulfillment; it leads to self-betrayal. The real victory isn’t reaching the top at any cost; it’s being able to look at yourself along the way and still recognize who you are. If achieving your dream requires you to humiliate yourself, surrender your autonomy, or tolerate people who don’t respect you, then the dream is already compromised. Money can be earned back. Power can shift hands quickly. Fame fades as priorities change. However, once you give away your self-respect, getting it back is a hell of a lot harder. Choose your boundaries wisely and guard them like your life depends on it.

Welcome to Copenhagen

My first visit to Copenhagen, Denmark in the Summer of 2024, which was a really cool experience to explore the city’s food halls, museums, castles, and modern architecture.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Copenhagen, Denmark

Keeping Your Cool When Others Try to Push Your Buttons

“The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.”

Your inner peace matters a lot more than you think. When other people, professionally or personally, try to get a rise out of you, don’t let them do it. Whether they are related to you by blood, or are in the same office building, or just a stranger on an airplane, some people get a kick out of pushing your buttons. It can be hard to not want to push back at them and not also be seen as a push over. The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.

What’s the alternative reaction you might ask? I suggest explaining yourself calmly, giving your side of it, and then moving away from that individual or de-escalating the situation as best as you can. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by their poor attitude, lack of self-awareness, or no emotional control. You deserve to be safe, respected, and not bullied into being quiet. Be firm, state how they made you feel, and then move on.

If that person or group of people won’t stop and keep escalating, you need to remove yourself from them and don’t associate with them as much as possible. If you must deal with them in a professional or personal manner going forward, let them know calmly in a spoken or written manner that you won’t tolerate such behavior from them anymore and you deserve to be treated better than how they have acted to you previously.

Family and friends can sometimes push your buttons more than anyone else, even when they might not even mean any harm or inconvenience. Maybe it’s a sibling who always critiques your life choices, or a parent who insists they know what’s best for you even when you’re an adult. Instead of snapping back or holding in resentment for what they are suggesting, try calmly stating your perspective: “I understand your concern, but this is the decision I’m making for myself.” You don’t need to justify endlessly your choices but rather you can simply acknowledge their opinion while standing firm in your own decisions will help protect your peace and sets a clear boundary with those people closest to you in life.

Not everyone you encounter will treat you with respect or kindness in public, and that’s okay. They’re responsible for their own behavior. If someone cuts you off in traffic, sits in your assigned seat on an airplane pushes ahead in line in front of you, or acts rudely to you for no reason in public, your reaction is the only thing that you can control. Take a breath, respond politely if needed, or simply let it slide.

Protecting your composure doesn’t make you weak; it demonstrates self-control and keeps you from being dragged into unnecessary conflict. If anything, how they react to your calm behavior in response will tell you exactly what you need to know about this person, and you’ll know that you made the right choice not escalating the situation with a stranger who chooses to act out in public instead of acting politely and kindly.

Take my recent flight experience, for example: a lady sat in my assigned seat before I had even boarded the plane. I was also preoccupied with putting my carry-on in the overhead compartment nearby my assigned seat, and then when I got to my seat to settle in finally, she had the audacity to ask me to move to her seat. My first instinct that came to mind? Frustration and disbelief at her social ineptitude.

My better instinct(s) that I acted upon in this case: Take a deep breath, calmly reminded her it’s my seat, and be aware that the airline staff would handle any escalation if necessary. I explained that I paid for the seat and that if she wanted it, she should have asked me first and then the airline staff whether this would be a possibility. She backed down, moved to her correct seat, and I got to handle the rest of the flight without carrying someone else’s chaos.

Online interactions these days are a minefield for drama and bitterness. A heated comment or trolling post can provoke an instant emotional reaction but hitting “reply” while angry often escalates the situation and will make you feel worse for engaging with that person (like an AI bot or fake troll now). A more powerful approach is to pause, step back, and ask whether engagement is truly necessary with someone who wants to waste your time or provoke you into doing something you’ll regret. Sometimes, choosing not to respond is the strongest statement of all. It signals that you refuse to let negativity or vitriol invade your space.

When you feel provoked either offline or online, some mental tools or habits can be surprisingly effective. Count from one to ten. Take a deep breath and visualize a buffer between you and the instigator. You can also silently repeat a mantra like, “This is about them, not me.” These small actions give you a moment to choose a calm response rather than a reactive one. Over time, these actions can train your brain to prioritize your inner peace over the urge to “win” every confrontation or “one up” the other person. Often, the other person is not going to see your point of view, will choose to continue the argument, and it will only make you angrier and more miserable.

Maintaining composure in difficult situations pays off in every area of life. People notice when you stay calm under pressure and it earns respect professionally and personally. Your relationships benefit because you’re setting healthy boundaries, and you preserve your emotional energy for the life moments that truly matter. Most importantly, you gain peace of mind: fewer regrets, less stress, and the knowledge that you’re in control of your reactions, no matter what others do to you or how they act to you. Your calm is your emotional power in life so never give it away to someone else’s chaos.

More Olympics Tennis Action at Court Philippe-Chatrier

Live Olympics Tennis with German player Angelique Kerber who faced off against Japanese player Naomi Osaka at the Paris 2024 Games at Court Philippe-Chatrier – Roland Garros.