Category: emotional state

Keeping Your Cool When Others Try to Push Your Buttons

“The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.”

Your inner peace matters a lot more than you think. When other people, professionally or personally, try to get a rise out of you, don’t let them do it. Whether they are related to you by blood, or are in the same office building, or just a stranger on an airplane, some people get a kick out of pushing your buttons. It can be hard to not want to push back at them and not also be seen as a push over. The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.

What’s the alternative reaction you might ask? I suggest explaining yourself calmly, giving your side of it, and then moving away from that individual or de-escalating the situation as best as you can. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by their poor attitude, lack of self-awareness, or no emotional control. You deserve to be safe, respected, and not bullied into being quiet. Be firm, state how they made you feel, and then move on.

If that person or group of people won’t stop and keep escalating, you need to remove yourself from them and don’t associate with them as much as possible. If you must deal with them in a professional or personal manner going forward, let them know calmly in a spoken or written manner that you won’t tolerate such behavior from them anymore and you deserve to be treated better than how they have acted to you previously.  

Family and friends can sometimes push your buttons more than anyone else, even when they might not even mean any harm or inconvenience. Maybe it’s a sibling who always critiques your life choices, or a parent who insists they know what’s best for you even when you’re an adult. Instead of snapping back or holding in resentment for what they are suggesting, try calmly stating your perspective: “I understand your concern, but this is the decision I’m making for myself.” You don’t need to justify endlessly your choices but rather you can simply acknowledge their opinion while standing firm in your own decisions will help protect your peace and sets a clear boundary with those people closest to you in life.

Not everyone you encounter will treat you with respect or kindness in public, and that’s okay. They’re responsible for their own behavior. If someone cuts you off in traffic, sits in your assigned seat on an airplane pushes ahead in line in front of you, or acts rudely to you for no reason in public, your reaction is the only thing that you can control. Take a breath, respond politely if needed, or simply let it slide.

Protecting your composure doesn’t make you weak; it demonstrates self-control and keeps you from being dragged into unnecessary conflict. If anything, how they react to your calm behavior in response will tell you exactly what you need to know about this person, and you’ll know that you made the right choice not escalating the situation with a stranger who chooses to act out in public instead of acting politely and kindly.

Take my recent flight experience, for example: a lady sat in my assigned seat before I had even boarded the plane. I was also preoccupied with putting my carry-on in the overhead compartment nearby my assigned seat, and then when I got to my seat to settle in finally, she had the audacity to ask me to move to her seat. My first instinct that came to mind? Frustration and disbelief at her social ineptitude.

My better instinct(s) that I acted upon in this case: Take a deep breath, calmly reminded her it’s my seat, and be aware that the airline staff would handle any escalation if necessary. I explained that I paid for the seat and that if she wanted it, she should have asked me first and then the airline staff whether this would be a possibility. She backed down, moved to her correct seat, and I got to handle the rest of the flight without carrying someone else’s chaos.

Online interactions these days are a minefield for drama and bitterness. A heated comment or trolling post can provoke an instant emotional reaction but hitting “reply” while angry often escalates the situation and will make you feel worse for engaging with that person (like an AI bot or fake troll now). A more powerful approach is to pause, step back, and ask whether engagement is truly necessary with someone who wants to waste your time or provoke you into doing something you’ll regret. Sometimes, choosing not to respond is the strongest statement of all. It signals that you refuse to let negativity or vitriol invade your space.

When you feel provoked either offline or online, some mental tools or habits can be surprisingly effective. Count from one to ten. Take a deep breath and visualize a buffer between you and the instigator. You can also silently repeat a mantra like, “This is about them, not me.” These small actions give you a moment to choose a calm response rather than a reactive one. Over time, these actions can train your brain to prioritize your inner peace over the urge to “win” every confrontation or “one up” the other person. Often, the other person is not going to see your point of view, will choose to continue the argument, and it will only make you angrier and more miserable.

Maintaining composure in difficult situations pays off in every area of life. People notice when you stay calm under pressure and it earns respect professionally and personally. Your relationships benefit because you’re setting healthy boundaries, and you preserve your emotional energy for the life moments that truly matter. Most importantly, you gain peace of mind: fewer regrets, less stress, and the knowledge that you’re in control of your reactions, no matter what others do to you or how they act to you. Your calm is your emotional power in life so never give it away to someone else’s chaos.

Navigating the Down Days in Life

“During these inevitable down days that we all go through, when challenges seem insurmountable, and the losses keep piling up, it is essential to cultivate your internal mental strength to navigate through the storm.”

Life inevitably has its various peaks and valleys, days filled with various successes and other days where nothing goes your way. During these inevitable down days that we all go through, when challenges seem insurmountable, and the losses keep piling up, it is essential to cultivate your internal mental strength to navigate through the storm. Being mentally strong doesn’t mean avoiding any hardship and making sure no problems ever find you; rather, it involves developing the resilience and coping mechanisms necessary to face your adversity head-on.

Everybody has down days in their life, and it is better for you to acknowledge and accept the down days, face them rather than run from them, understand the factors contributing to building up your mental strength, and adopting the practical strategies to emerge stronger and better on the other side.

As the popular English saying goes, “when it rains, it pours.” I’ve found that things tend to go wrong in bunches similarly to how when things go well, they tend to go well all at once. You must be able to brace yourself for these tough times and to look for the positives where you can during the down days. The first step towards bolstering your mental strength during challenging times is acknowledging and accepting the existence of down days.

Denying or suppressing negative emotions can exacerbate the situation, leading to prolonged stress and anxiety for every challenge that comes your way. You should not shy away from the reality of difficult moments as it will allow for a healthier processing of your emotions. It is essential to recognize that everyone faces hardships in life, and experiencing these lows is an integral part of what makes us human.

In addition, acknowledging the down days in life doesn’t equate to having a weakness. On the contrary, it is a testament to having both emotional intelligence and self-awareness. By accepting the presence of challenges that you are facing, you can better understand your emotional state and take proactive steps towards building up resilience.

Mental strength is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed through intentional efforts and experiences. Understanding the components of mental strength is crucial for cultivating resilience during tough times. If you can manage your emotions, have a positive mindset despite your circumstances, and still build healthy habits, you will be able to meet the down days head on instead of letting them consume you.

Effective emotional management is a cornerstone of one’s mental strength. It involves acknowledging and expressing emotions in a healthy manner. Suppressing your emotions can lead to a buildup of stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings. When things are going wrong, you should work even harder to navigate your emotions, seek healthy outlets such as writing, playing sports, talking to a friend or family member, or engaging in fun activities. Don’t let an argument, a disagreement, a difference of opinion make your down day worse than it needs to be.

Cultivating a positive mindset doesn’t mean denying the existence of your problems but rather in adopting an optimistic perspective to getting through them. This involves reframing those challenges as actual opportunities for growth and learning. Practicing gratitude, focusing on the solutions rather than the problems only, and surrounding yourself with positive influences can all help contribute to the development of a resilient mindset.

Our Mental strength is closely tied to our daily habits. It is key to keeping your routines going that prioritize physical health, such as regular exercise and sufficient sleep, which positively impacts mental well-being especially during down times. Additionally, I believe that incorporating mindfulness practices, such as practicing meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises, can help manage your stress, anxiety and enhance your resilience.

While understanding the components of our mental strength is crucial during rough periods of time, you should be thinking of practical strategies for navigating the down days of life. Here are some strategies that can come in handy when you are going through a tough time and may not know where to go for sustained support:

  1. Cultivate a Support System: During tough times, the value of a strong support system cannot be overstated. Whether it’s family, friends, or a professional counselor, having someone to share thoughts and feelings with about what you are going through will provide both emotional validation and a sense of connection. Social support acts as a buffer against stress and fosters one’s resilience.
  2. Set Realistic Goals: In the face of sustained adversity, it’s essential to set realistic and achievable goals. Breaking down larger challenges into smaller, manageable tasks on a day by day basis can make the journey seem less daunting. Celebrating small victories that happen to you, especially during the down days along the way, contributes to a sense of accomplishment and boosts confidence.
  3. Embrace Change as an Opportunity: Life is inherently dynamic, and change is a constant. Instead of resisting changes to your life, instead, you should view the change(s) as an opportunity for growth and adaptation. Flexibility in your thinking and the ability to adjust to new circumstances are key components of maintaining mental strength. Embracing the change(s) will allow you to navigate challenges with a more open and resilient mindset.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion: During difficult times or days, it can be tempting to often criticize oneself and focus on your perceived shortcomings. Practicing self-compassion instead involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. Nobody’s perfect. Treat yourself with the same empathy and support you would offer to a friend or a family member.
  5. Learn from Adversity: Every challenge, no matter how difficult or large it is, provides an opportunity for personal learning and growth. Reflecting on your past experiences, identifying the lessons learned from past challenges, and applying them to current situations contribute to personal development. Adversity can be a powerful teacher, which can shape individuals into more resilient and resourceful beings.
  6. Seek Professional Help When Needed: It’s important to recognize when professional assistance is necessary and that you do not have to go through it alone. If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness persist, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable support. Therapy offers a safe space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain insights into one’s thought patterns and habitual actions. There is nothing wrong and no stigma with taking care of yourself mentally in my view including reaching out to a mental health professional during down times.

Life’s down days are an inevitable part of being human, but they need not define us. Building mental strength to make it through the down days involves a combination of acknowledging the challenges, understanding the different components of resilience, and implementing practical strategies to navigate adversity and stress. By cultivating a strong support system, setting realistic goals, embracing change, practicing self-compassion, learning from adversity, and seeking professional help when needed, you can develop the mental fortitude necessary to weather life’s storms.

In the journey that is life, it is not the absence of challenges that defines us but our ability to rise above the ones we face. Mental strength is a skill that can be honed, a muscle that grows stronger with intentional dedication, effort, and practice. By embracing the down days and seeing them as possible opportunities for growth and self-discovery, you can emerge from adversity not only intact from having overcome them but also having been strengthened and made more resilient than ever before.