How to Spot a BS Artist

I do not like to speak ill of people, but I do think it is important to warn about certain people who may not have your best interests in mind. You may want to look out for what I will reference as being ‘BS Artists’ as I do not like to curse in my writings. I will tell you what a BS Artist is, what to look for in spotting a BS Artist, and how to avoid them as best as you can. BS Artists do not necessarily intend or want to be mean and they are not necessarily bad people, but they can be deceptive, misleading, and not have your interests in mind.

BS Artists are definitely not your friends even though they may initially appear to be friendly. They seem to care about you initially and remember certain details about who you are. Their kind of friendliness is an obvious bit of shallowness that leaves you feeling a little let down. You can tell after a little while that the friendliness was not genuine, that they are looking to curry a favor or are trying to take more from you than they want to give back, and they are mainly looking out for themselves and want to take advantage of your time or your money.

A BS Artist will do their best to convince you of something without giving any proof or by hyping something up without checking his or her facts. They do not see lying as that bad if it’s a means to an end even if that hurts people’s feelings or misleads them. They resent facts and the truth and will attack you if you push back on them. If it is in their interests, they will BS their way even if it means disregarding the truth to further their own agenda even if it causes harm.

Instead of admitting that they are wrong or that they do not know or to say that they need to find out the facts first, they go ahead with illogical assumptions and conclusions on any given subject and will not back down at any cost. They would rather ‘save face’ or maintain positive relations with others rather than be honest and upfront about what they might have been wrong about. Because lies upon lies can do the most damage, BS Artists cause a lot more harm because the little white lies become big lies and before they can admit fault, many people can be hurt from being misled.

It is not a bad trait to be confident, but BS Artists take it to the next level by being cocky and showing hubris even in the face of contrary evidence or contradictory claims. They can be overconfident, selfish, and demeaning when other people disagree with them or want to debate regarding the facts of the matter. Being that cocky will get a BS Artist into trouble and can cost them dearly even if they are able to evade the truth for a little while. Even if they put off the truth for months of years, it will come back to bite them and it could cost them money, their jobs, their families, and their freedom.

From devious landlords to banking fraudsters to pyramid scheme creators to corrupt politicians, they are all BS artists at the heart of it and while some people in these professions are good people and care about others, BS artists in these fields of work give others a bad reputation because of the heinous acts they end up committing.

What we have to do as a society is to not enable them to rise to influence other or hold power over others. It starts with a strong sense of accountability, ethics, and holding people responsibility for their actions. It has to also begin with not any of the small lies slide which end up becoming bigger and bigger lies that cause a lot more damage the more a BS artist gets enabled. A BS Artist is bad enough but when he or she has free reign to do as they please with no consequences so then the rest of society will be left holding the bag and with no due recourse to hold them accountable.

You first have to detect if there are any lies, get to know that person really well and decide if they are truthful and trustworthy. It may take months or even years but don’t jump into a friendship or a business partnership with someone you haven’t seriously gotten to know for. When you are not in a rush, why risk a lot when you don’t know anything about that person? Another warning sign is when they refuse to divulge information about themselves when you start to get to know them such as what their job is like, a little about their hobbies, and what they enjoy doing.

You should also make sure that they want to get to know you and that they follow up on their commitments when you ask them for their time. If they aren’t willing to respond to your emails or phone calls, you should not push forward with any higher level of commitment such as an in-person commitment or any long-term partnership or relationship. Do not let a BS Artist let you waste your time or your money whether it’s through the television or face-to-face.

A BS Artist is not hard to find, and they are always going to be around. Part of being a functioning adult is knowing how to think critically about who you are dealing with and how you deal with them. You have to be skeptical to some degree and having a ‘wait and see’ mentality when it comes to other people. You do not want to give much or give too little but it’s not good to heavily invest since you may get burned in the process. The best you can do is really get to know the other person well whether its’ for business, relationships, or career-wise.

The main characteristics that you want to avoid are people who are deceitful, uncaring about the truth, and not willing to hear the facts. They can be manipulative, compulsive liars, and they may use you to get ahead and not feel any remorse about it. Some BS Artists are so good at it sadly that you may only realize that they are a BS Artist a decade or two decades later. There are going to be times like that unfortunately where you may be taken advantage of and done all you can to avoid that happening. The best you can do in that case is admit that you made a mistake but were trying to protect yourself to the best of your ability. At times in life, you have to cut your losses and hope the damage was not too bad.

Ultimately, what we all must do is make sure that the BS Artists do not hold too much sway over our society or our economy. That is when the real trouble begins when they control a lot of daily life leading to greater corruption, inequality, and societal dysfunction. When an entire society is deceived, the damage may last for decades and we are likely to know that we were warned but not enough of us were aware that we were dealing with BS Artists rather than genuine and good people. We have to do better than that and make sure that we prioritize the right kind of character, ethics, and personal qualities in our politics, in our daily life, and in our society.

Patience Will Set You Apart

We are all imbued with the important personal trait of having patience. I believe that each of us is imbued with a certain amount of it though and there’s a certain limit or tolerance level that we have within us innately. It can be difficult to augment or increase the amount of patience you have without serious mental training and willpower. Everybody has some amount of patience, but that level will stay the same unless you can train yourself to learn to have more of it and to put yourself into situations where it is tested.

In my opinion, patience is the most important trait that a mature adult can have and can change your life for the better or for the worse depending upon how much it is exercised. The level of patience you have or what you teach yourself to tolerate will depend upon your overall maturity, resilience, and willpower. The less patience you have, the more stressful your life will be ironically. The more patience you have, the less stressful your life will be too. Managing your stress levels comes as a result of how much you are able to flex your ‘patience’ muscle.

Patience such as willpower takes time to develop but the more of it, you’re able to accrue, the more payback you’re likely to see later. For example, if you’re at a bureaucratic office of some sort and you are given a number to wait your turn and you’re not sure how long it will take for your number to be called, there’s no logical reason to complain about it. The more you get peeved about it, the more it will backfire for you. Why not make the most of your time and read a book, catch up on e-mails, listen to music, or even make a few calls to pass the hour(s)?

Not only in bureaucratic functions will patience serve you but in every aspect of your life really. When you’re learning a new language, you need to have patience regarding your ability to obtain and retain what you have learned in order to improve. When you’re starting a relationship with someone, you have to be patient with their faults and with their quirks because they are going to have to do the same with you as you get to know each other more and more.

When you’re getting used to your responsibilities and roles in a new job, it will take both patience and time to get the swing of things and you have to accept that you’ll likely make mistakes at first. When you are starting a business for the first time and you have to learn a lot of new skills as well as take on duties that you have never had before to grow the business. In any of these hypothetical but possible situations to occur in your lifetime, you have to be patient in any of these personal or professional endeavors regardless of what they are.

When things are not going your way, you just got to keep your composure, keep pushing through, and stay optimistic that things will eventually work out. Like quitting too early, giving up on exercising your patience will backfire on you more often than not. Nobody really likes someone who loses their patience a lot. There’s a time and a place for confrontation but that is a very rare occurrence especially in an extreme circumstance where you really cannot wait or deal with any further delays. If you don’t have anywhere to be, if there’s a solution to be had, if it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it’s better to be patient than blowing your gasket and letting go of your emotions.

You will earn respect from other people if you are able to be level-headed, to not let your emotions overtake your decision-making ability, and to keep calm under outside pressure(s). It is a great way to set yourself apart when you are able to exercise patience in 95% of situations and in the other 5% or able to de-escalate the situation calmly without losing control in some way. It is also a fallacy to suggest that you can’t exercise patience and stand up for yourself at the same time.

You do not have to be confrontational, but you do have to advocate for your interests and for your livelihood. This all can be done without losing one’s patience and it will be a sign of how emotionally mature you are when you are able to express your emotions in a healthy manner. Being able to exercise patience on a consistent basis will also make you happier, healthier, and more appreciative of others, flaws and all, when you can maintain a real sense of calm and composure.

Exercising patience is a real skill and positive trait to have that will pay off for you and then some throughout your life. However, like any muscle, it has to be exercised constantly and because life will test you, often at the most random times, this particular muscle will be tested often and you have to decide how much you can adapt and beat these tests that life will throw at you. Speaking as someone writing this article who sometimes struggles with exercising my own patience, it is a lot of work, but it is worthwhile to get better and better at it.

Whereas meaningless and trivial things would have bothered you in the past, if you can simply brush them off and move on quickly to focus your patience and your willpower on things that actually matter to your life and livelihood, then you will be on the right path. Do not let the small irritants of your day-to-day life affect your patience because you will waste precious emotional capital on inconsequential problems. When the waiter takes too long with the bill, when the checkout cashier is rude to you, and when the boss wants to call an extra meeting over something that was previously agreed upon, take a deep breath and let it all slide off your back.

Remember to guide your thoughts to real things that affect you and wait out or not react to the small irritants. The real battles of your patience will be much larger and longer in scale so don’t waste exerting a lack of patience for those irritants of minutes or hours. Save up your patience for the days, months, and years in your personal and professional endeavors that will require you to be in top shape emotionally to handle the challenges that are to come along.

As I have mentioned in other articles, a real mixture of commitment, patience, and willpower will set you apart and cause you to succeed in the long run where others do not. Those three emotional traits are a sign of both intelligence and maturity. Letting them decay or not exercising them consistently will set you back and cause you to fail more. Always do your best to keep those three traits in mind when you set your mind on something new because you will need all three traits of commitment, patience, and willpower to get ahead in life and to make your life the best it can be.

Are You a Wolf or a Sheep?

We often like to think of ourselves as ‘introverts’ and extroverts’ in terms of our social makeup in how we act socially and how we get along with others. However, I like to think of another spectrum for which deserves some thought and introspection. Both of these classifications are not anything new, but I would like to put my own personal spin on what they represent, the good and the bad characteristics, and how these two personality types interact with other people.

I fundamentally believe that any person could be classified as having both character types with the extremes representing one or the other. I’d like you as the reader to figure out by the end of this article whether you are a wolf or a sheep? How did you come to that conclusion? and are you happy with this classification or wanting to resolve to change yourself?

When you first think of a ‘wolf’, you may think of the animal itself and how it can be dangerous, unpredictable, and fast. However, a wolf can also be thought of as cunning, loyal, and a team player. The wolf is not afraid to go it alone, sometimes for months at a time, while he or she is also comfortable with the pack where there is strength in numbers. The wolf can survive both on its own and in a group. The wolf adds value to the group but is able to self-sustain itself when it needs to.

If you see yourself as a ‘wolf’ kind of person, you take other people’s opinions into consideration, but you are not afraid to strike it out on your own. You don’t go along with the herd or the group all of the time when they are not of the same opinion or going in the same direction as you. You are an independent, reliable, and courageous person who is not afraid to go it alone even when it doesn’t please your tribe. At its extreme, being a ‘wolf’ can lead you to be a loner and cause you pain as you are no longer able to rely on your wolf pack for help or assistance. You may shun others with your actions and your opinions much to your detriment. A ‘wolf’ knows how to push his or herself to the limits, but it may bite off more than it can chew.

In a world where it is difficult and sometimes detrimental to go against the pack, a ‘wolf’ can decide to do so in an effort to sustain itself against the odds. Being a wolf is risky, but it has greater highs and lower lows. The risk is higher but so are the rewards. The wolf prides itself on being able to integrate into a community if necessary but it solely does not need it to survive like other animals. Any person can be a ‘wolf’, but it depends how far they push themselves physically and mentally, and how far they are willing to stray from the pack. A wolf can handle being a loner, being unpopular, and being cast out if it means keeping its morals, goals, and ambitions ahead of itself.

In contrast to the hard-headed yet cunning wolf, the ‘sheep’ is more timid, cautious, and relies on its flock for everything from where to eat, how to look, and where to go. The ‘sheep’ is unable to voice a contrasting opinion or forge another direction because as an animal, it would be largely left defenseless from predators, including a pack of wolves, if it is not careful.

The ‘sheep’ goes along with all of the other sheep in the flock not because he or she wants to but because he or she needs to. As an animal and a personality type, it puts the group’s needs above its own much to its detriment and making it weaker in the process. A sheep is not a risk-taker and is more about the collective group than being its own individual. While the life of a sheep may be comfortable and cozy, it is likely not to push itself to the limits and find out what he or she is truly capable of. Sometimes, it’s necessary to act, be, and think independently and a sheep is not able to do any of these things. A person can be a ‘sheep’ when they are not able to go against the group to develop themselves and to gain inner confidence. While it’s good to be in the flock or to be part of the pack, to do so all of the time much to your personal detriment is neither productive nor desirable. While sheep and wolves may be together, only the former has to do so some of the time while wolves have a choice to be on their own independent of the pack.

After thinking about these two personality types through the guise of these animals, it is my belief that any person can fit on the spectrum from the huddled sheep to the running wolf. Both personality types like ‘introverted’ and ‘extroverted’ have their innate positives and negatives. However, you have to decide for yourself when it is best to act like the ‘sheep’ or to be the ‘wolf’. There are those people out there who want to be 100% wolf or 100% sheep but you may not have this end up being a good decision for yourself. Life is about balance and you have to decide whether it’s best at times to be the ‘wolf’ and when it’s time to act like the ‘sheep.’ I find that to be 100% like each animal’s characteristics can lead to alienation, disenchantment, and outright dissatisfaction.

There are times in life where you have to be independent of others, believing in your goals when no one else does, and having opinions that the group does not share leading to positive ostracism. You have to be the ‘wolf’ when these times happen because you will be better off for it and be a more enlightened person as a result. Also, there are times when you have work with others well as a constructive team and put your beliefs and opinions on the back-burner when you can’t achieve and do things on your own.

‘Sheep’ rely upon strength in numbers and being part of a strong community that can support and back each other up when being independent could lead to isolation, despondency, and even death. Being independent v. being part of the group is a constant struggle in one’s life and you have to decide for yourself when it’s best to strike it out on your own or to be part of a larger group (family, friends, colleagues, schoolmates), etc. in order to get ahead.

You should ask yourself after reading these two descriptions of these popularly known animals whether your own personality and characteristics are more in line with the ‘wolf’ or with the ‘sheep.’ There’s nothing wrong with having a mix of both or being aligned with one or the other, but you have to do some introspection to decide whether you are a wolf or a sheep. A person with no defined personality traits that they are aware of is too easily manipulated and too easily controlled. Please be sure to always think, act, and do for yourself but to also respect your tribe and your group if they are supportive of you, your goals, and your beliefs. Now, “Are you a wolf or a sheep?” Decide for yourself.