Category: healthy behaviors

Keeping Your Cool When Others Try to Push Your Buttons

“The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.”

Your inner peace matters a lot more than you think. When other people, professionally or personally, try to get a rise out of you, don’t let them do it. Whether they are related to you by blood, or are in the same office building, or just a stranger on an airplane, some people get a kick out of pushing your buttons. It can be hard to not want to push back at them and not also be seen as a push over. The notion that you must fire back, get heated with your emotions, and lose your cool to do so is an unnecessary one and could end up costing you more.

What’s the alternative reaction you might ask? I suggest explaining yourself calmly, giving your side of it, and then moving away from that individual or de-escalating the situation as best as you can. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by their poor attitude, lack of self-awareness, or no emotional control. You deserve to be safe, respected, and not bullied into being quiet. Be firm, state how they made you feel, and then move on.

If that person or group of people won’t stop and keep escalating, you need to remove yourself from them and don’t associate with them as much as possible. If you must deal with them in a professional or personal manner going forward, let them know calmly in a spoken or written manner that you won’t tolerate such behavior from them anymore and you deserve to be treated better than how they have acted to you previously.  

Family and friends can sometimes push your buttons more than anyone else, even when they might not even mean any harm or inconvenience. Maybe it’s a sibling who always critiques your life choices, or a parent who insists they know what’s best for you even when you’re an adult. Instead of snapping back or holding in resentment for what they are suggesting, try calmly stating your perspective: “I understand your concern, but this is the decision I’m making for myself.” You don’t need to justify endlessly your choices but rather you can simply acknowledge their opinion while standing firm in your own decisions will help protect your peace and sets a clear boundary with those people closest to you in life.

Not everyone you encounter will treat you with respect or kindness in public, and that’s okay. They’re responsible for their own behavior. If someone cuts you off in traffic, sits in your assigned seat on an airplane pushes ahead in line in front of you, or acts rudely to you for no reason in public, your reaction is the only thing that you can control. Take a breath, respond politely if needed, or simply let it slide.

Protecting your composure doesn’t make you weak; it demonstrates self-control and keeps you from being dragged into unnecessary conflict. If anything, how they react to your calm behavior in response will tell you exactly what you need to know about this person, and you’ll know that you made the right choice not escalating the situation with a stranger who chooses to act out in public instead of acting politely and kindly.

Take my recent flight experience, for example: a lady sat in my assigned seat before I had even boarded the plane. I was also preoccupied with putting my carry-on in the overhead compartment nearby my assigned seat, and then when I got to my seat to settle in finally, she had the audacity to ask me to move to her seat. My first instinct that came to mind? Frustration and disbelief at her social ineptitude.

My better instinct(s) that I acted upon in this case: Take a deep breath, calmly reminded her it’s my seat, and be aware that the airline staff would handle any escalation if necessary. I explained that I paid for the seat and that if she wanted it, she should have asked me first and then the airline staff whether this would be a possibility. She backed down, moved to her correct seat, and I got to handle the rest of the flight without carrying someone else’s chaos.

Online interactions these days are a minefield for drama and bitterness. A heated comment or trolling post can provoke an instant emotional reaction but hitting “reply” while angry often escalates the situation and will make you feel worse for engaging with that person (like an AI bot or fake troll now). A more powerful approach is to pause, step back, and ask whether engagement is truly necessary with someone who wants to waste your time or provoke you into doing something you’ll regret. Sometimes, choosing not to respond is the strongest statement of all. It signals that you refuse to let negativity or vitriol invade your space.

When you feel provoked either offline or online, some mental tools or habits can be surprisingly effective. Count from one to ten. Take a deep breath and visualize a buffer between you and the instigator. You can also silently repeat a mantra like, “This is about them, not me.” These small actions give you a moment to choose a calm response rather than a reactive one. Over time, these actions can train your brain to prioritize your inner peace over the urge to “win” every confrontation or “one up” the other person. Often, the other person is not going to see your point of view, will choose to continue the argument, and it will only make you angrier and more miserable.

Maintaining composure in difficult situations pays off in every area of life. People notice when you stay calm under pressure and it earns respect professionally and personally. Your relationships benefit because you’re setting healthy boundaries, and you preserve your emotional energy for the life moments that truly matter. Most importantly, you gain peace of mind: fewer regrets, less stress, and the knowledge that you’re in control of your reactions, no matter what others do to you or how they act to you. Your calm is your emotional power in life so never give it away to someone else’s chaos.

Putting Yourself in Natural Environments

“Man or woman was not meant to spend all day under fluorescent lighting in an indoor place without windows, natural light, or sun.”

Man or woman was not meant to spend all day under fluorescent lighting in an indoor place without windows, natural light, or sun. While modern life often forces us to work and live in less-than-ideal conditions, we often have to spend our time away from nature and where we feel most comfortable. Whether it is a factory, an office, a clothing store, a mall, or a movie theater, we spend somewhere between 80% – 90% of our lives indoors. While many people consider this to be a normal part of life, I would argue that while it may be ‘normal’ in our modern age, it is far from healthy for all of us.

While we do have limited choice on where we live, where we work, where we eat, etc., I would encourage everyone reading this to remember that we as human being are most comfortable, free, and healthy when we are in a natural environment. In nature whether it is a beach, a jungle, a mountainside, or a forest, while intimidating at first, once you get used to being in the great outdoors, it is hard to get used to being inside or routinely indoors again. You never lose that yearning to be breathing fresh air, swimming in fresh air, and cooking fresh food over an open flame.

I truly believe that this is kind of environment is what is best for our health and well-being. When we are in a natural environment, the stress is less for all involved, we tend to be more social especially if we must cooperate to fish, to hunt, or to cook food together, and there is a great sense of satisfaction achieved from climbing, hiking, fishing, swimming, or starting a fire that you can’t get in other environments.

If you do not have the great outdoors near you, at least make the effort to get outside on your balcony, your rooftop, or even your garden if you have one. I promise that you will feel refreshed from getting out of the florescent light and into real sunlight. While being indoors is not a bad thing, I do think that we have overindulged in modern life in an effort to keep ourselves comfortable rather than challenging ourselves by dealing with the outdoor elements.

No matter where we come from, all our ancient ancestors had to deal with the elements. That is why being out in nature is most rewarding because that is what our ancestors had to deal with for thousands of years. Modern agriculture and industry have been around for maybe a few hundred years in terms of its adoption by most of humanity. We are still more accustomed to being out in the jungle, savannah, or forest rather than inside a city or a factory farm. It is unfortunate that most of our time at work or at home is indoors because there is a lot that can be done outdoors and for which we can socialize with each other in different ways.

If you cannot get outdoors as much as you want, try to at least take 10-15 minutes out of your day to go for a walk or to get lunch and sit outside. If you are having a bad day, I can guarantee that having the sun shining down and the breeze hitting you can really improve how you feel, if only for a short while. Instead of going to a bar or a movie on a warm, spring day, encourage your friends to go hiking or to go hang out at the park instead. You can also make use in some places of an outdoor gym where you can lift weights, do calisthenics, or even practice Yoga with the wind at your back.

When you’re at work, see if you can’t encourage your colleagues to do a working lunch outdoors one day a week when the weather’s nice or to do an event outdoors if possible. A team building event, as cliché as it sounds, can be a good idea to spend more time outdoors if you can ask your boss to do a retreat somewhere where you can be outdoors part of the time or to maybe go hiking, try out kayaking, or walk around the city together to boost your comradery or teamwork.

Society may be pulling you to go from your car to your office to your home and to do it all over again each day but that is no way to live. Try to find the time to get out of unnatural environments and be in nature again, whatever kind of nature that is. You are not meant to be indoors for 90% of your life. Instead of being in your car, walk or bike to work if you can or try to have a work meeting outdoors if you’re remote or can ask your colleagues to do it there.

Taking a trip or vacation where you’re mostly outdoors, exploring new environments, and trying different activities like snorkeling, scuba diving, bungee jumping, skydiving, etc. are ways that you can broaden your horizons and enjoy what the wide world has to offer. Life will get very boring and repetitive if you are constantly going from one indoor environment to another indoor environment without mixing it up. You should remember that it is no way to live and especially no way to live healthily.

Remember to get yourself outside at least 30 minutes to an hour each day. You owe it to your mind and body to put yourself in a natural environment, whichever one is most comfortable to you. A change of scenery can do a world of good. If you’re feeling like you have no energy, are going through the motions, and are just plain bored, getting outdoors and into nature may be the closest thing to a cure. Try to encourage others to do the same as it is healthier, and you’ll feel better from having involved others to be in nature with you. Man or woman was not meant to be indoors for most of our lives and I hope that you all will spend more of your lives outdoors in natural environments and less time indoors under fluorescent lighting.