Sometimes, it’s good to recharge your batteries alone. We all need real social connection and friendship, that is for certain, but there is nothing wrong with seeking out solitude to enjoy your alone time. Everybody has a different tolerance for how much time alone they can handle before they seek out a social event, gathering, or activity to dust off the cobwebs and not let one’s social skills atrophy. As much as it is important to socialize and be around friends, it can also be good to be alone, focus on yourself, and enjoy a little solitude.
Solitude often has a negative connotation, and it is often associated with having it imposed on you or having it done without consent such as the similar phrasing of ‘solitary confinement.’ That kind of solitude is denigrating to one’s spirit and causes one to mentally break over time. Just like endless solitude is harmful to one’s health, I also think that is true for the opposite side of the spectrum when you are constantly surrounded by other people, some of them mere acquaintances or coworkers for which you are forced to be around and whose company you do not enjoy. There are many forms of loneliness, and it is true that you can be as lonely by yourself as you can in a room full of people who don’t care for you, or you don’t care for them.
If you are around people who constantly want something from you or need something from you, that can be as draining as it is to have no one to talk to or to share life with. Just as a balance of having some social activity is good for you, it is as important to be on your own sometimes and enjoy one’s own company. There have been times in my own life where I have sought to be on my own deliberately, not because I didn’t enjoy being around others, but that I needed the time alone to meditate, to think, to reflect, to problem solve, and to more fully observe the world around me. In extroverted cultures including in the United States, this kind of activity can be thought of as strange or unusual, but I find that my best ideas or my most relaxing moments can be on my own and even when doing nothing but just the art of being present in the world.
We constantly are having our attention pulled to the next meeting, the next call, the next trip, the next gathering that we can forget to take the time to be on our own in whatever form that may take. Solitary kind of activities have gone out of style lately for some people whether that is reading, writing, walking, meditating, or just doing nothing (looking at your phone doesn’t count here). While these things can be done in concert with other people around, these activities are best done alone in my view and help me to recharge so I can be more present and engaged when seeing friends or family members.
You shouldn’t wait on other people to live your life too even if it’s by yourself. If you must be alone for a little while on a trip, at a concert, in the library, and generally out in public by yourself, it is not the end of the world. No one is judging you for doing life solo sometimes and it can be healthy to do so. Rather than giving too many people too little of your attention or having it split too often, why not focus all of your attention on something singular such as the footsteps you take on a walk, the thoughts in your head as you absorb a good book, and the clacking of a keyboard as you work on your novel.
Being alone all the time is not healthy, I want to make that clear, but it’s also not healthy either to be surrounded by people all the time. Part of being a healthy adult is working to have a little solitude, a little social life, and mix it all together to rewarding yet refreshing lifestyle. By being on your own sometimes, you’ll be more reflective, more observant, more self-aware, and treasure those social moments more when you’re more present, more engaged, and happier to have that social muscle stimulated.
I’ve always been an advocate for a moderate and balanced life and that is why solitude should not always be shunned for someone to progress as a person. Our deepest thoughts, our brightest ideas, our healthiest habits aren’t always cultivated around other people, which is why it is important to use one’s solitude to see if you can think deeper, live better, and build more because your attention is focused inwards rather than outwards. Find out what your tolerance for solitude is and then see what it can give you when you’re alone, because you would be surprised how relaxing and necessary it can be, especially when you put that solitary time to good use.
