Category: individuals

The Unfortunate Rise of Anti-Social Behavior

“Clearly, I am not happy with the recession in societal norms and values and fear it is becoming all too common these days as a lot of people have forgotten to know how to act in public in a civilized and dignified manner.”

How many times have you been on a plane, a train, or a bus recently and noticed someone on a loud phone call, listening to loud music without headphones, or even kicking your seat and not apologizing? I would say it’s happened to most of us at some point, but these kinds of rude behaviors seem to become more common post-pandemic. The receding of the pandemic did not just cause the deaths of millions of people, long-lasting economic damage, but most recently an erosion in social norms and values. Clearly, I am not happy with the recession in societal norms and values and fear it is becoming all too common these days as a lot of people have forgotten to know how to act in public in a civilized and dignified manner.

As the pandemic has receded, selfish and unruly behavior has increased in my view, and it has been well documented in popular forms of media. How many videos or audio clips have you seen of airline passengers fighting with flight attendants or gate agents? There have also been scenes of people stealing and looting from stores in mass causing chain stores and the local mom and pop shop to have armed and unarmed security patrolling the toiletries aisle. For the rest of us who play by the rules, it’s unfortunate that we must deal with the agitation of greater security and more surveillance because others have to act in such a selfish and anti-social manner.

While there is some blame to go around including growing wealth inequality, the cost-of-living crisis that continues to worsen, and a lack of proper education in the school system on basic behavior and etiquette, it does not excuse being negligent of how to behave in public especially for an adult who should know better. I would like to think that we all are taught whether by parents, guardians, or by teachers themselves the difference between right and wrong, how to behave oneself when others are around, and that stealing, cursing, and dismissing others in public as unseemly behavior. The pandemic has worn a lot of us down physically, mentally, and financially but it does not excuse anti-social acts and/or behaviors against your fellow man or women.

Together, in a society, we should remember both the spoken and unspoken rules of how to behave and it seems like a few of us need to re-learn that or we have to strengthen these rules in our institutions and in our laws to fight against this rising tide in unseemly behavior. There are consequences to your actions and while we should continue to notice these anti-social behaviors and call them out, there must be a strengthening in terms of preventing those from breaking these rules and to hold them accountable when they happen.

A good example of an anti-social behavior I’ve noticed is in major U.S. cities including New York City and Washington, DC. Fare beating and or jumping the gate to avoid paying the fares to keep our transit system from functioning well is something I condemn strongly. Unfortunately, since the pandemic, there has been a spike in people not wanting to pay their transit fare and getting caught on camera while not doing so. Multiple times, the station agents and transit police do not apprehend these individuals to cite them for the fines or at least verbally reprimand them for their actions. If you do not enforce the fines or at least the rules, it emboldens this kind of anti-social behaviors and people will keep them doing them.

Recently, increasing the fines and changing the fare gates to be more difficult to physically jump or avoid has become a solution to this fare beating issue, but it is more than just changing the gates or enforcing the fines, there should be more ways to let people know in public service announcements (PSAs) or through schools, community centers, or in the home that this behavior is not tolerable.

I very much encourage free transit programs for those of lower economic status and for young people who are going to school or work as an alternative way to invest in those people who need the financial assistance and may not understand how fare beating is unacceptable. Increasing fines and security presence for stealing, farebeating, loud music in public, is not so much a solution, but rather a band-aid on anti-social behavior that may discourage these actions but won’t go fare in terms of ending it.

In a society, I believe people need both ‘the carrot and the stick’ in the sense that good behaviors should be encouraged and even rewarded such as cleaning up after yourself, lining up in a proper manner, helping the elderly and disabled. We should do as much to encourage healthy social behaviors as much as discouraging and shaming unhealthy anti-social behaviors.

For myself, I have a pet peeve of people playing music in public places in my near vicinity without earphones or headphones or keeping it to a low volume at the minimum. It gives me no great pleasure to call anyone out on this kind of behavior, but it was never acceptable before the pandemic to do so, and it should not become a new norm in this post-pandemic world. If it bothers me or causes me to not focus on my reading or my work, I will be happy to call this selfish kind of behavior out. It’s up to the individual on how they act but it used to be a given that you wouldn’t disturb others’ peace in public and keep your music, gossip, or phone calls to yourself or at a low volume. I’m not exactly for policing of rules or regulations as an ordinary citizen but if it disturbs my peace or my ability to enjoy my train, plane, or bus ride, I do have to call it out or let someone know of the issue.              

My overall hope on this rise in anti-social behavior is just as much as we focus on enforcement and punishment to a reasonable degree of these actions that we do a much better job as well on teaching people in society why we have these rules, how they benefit us all in a public setting, and to educate people why we have fares, quiet hours, no music in public places, etc. so the average person will know why they have to act in this way for the betterment and peace of us all.

The Why of Standards

How do we define standards? What exactly do they mean to our society and the world as a whole? See, the thing about standards is that if they are not observed by everyone to some degree than what would be the point of having them in the first place. Having standards when it comes to behavior, dress, professionalism, ethics, etc. helps society to function and for people to live productive and healthy lives. Without having standards or not being beholden to anyone else will create a society of winner-take-all or every man or every woman for themselves, which is not only counterproductive but also self-destructive in the long run.

As defined by Dictionary.com, A ‘standard’ is defined as “something considered by an authority or by general consent as a basis of comparison; or an approved model.” It’s a general definition but you can see that creating a standard requires the consent of the society at large. Standards can be difficult or easy to enforce depending on how popular they are but the total absence of standards in different areas of life should be fought against as much as possible. Everybody has different standards but the key to keep in mind is whether a lack of standards or a complete abandonment of standards is making the local community or overall society worse off as a result.

We don’t think about it but basic standards helps create laws, rules, and regulations that keep society running well. When there are no standards in anything whether its’ with business, politics, dress, the environment, etc. then every individual man, woman, and child will suffer in some regard as a result. Another thing to keep in mind is that a lack of standards or standards that are burdensome and counterproductive also cause harm to us as well.

Standards change over time but there are certain ideals and beliefs that I think should stand the test of time. By this I mean that basic manners and politeness should always be observed, presenting yourself well in your outer dress and appearance depending on the setting is crucial, and that you add with basic integrity, decency, and honesty when doing business or leading as a member of your community. Standards over time for these particular areas should not change and should even become stronger so that the next generations do not forget how to act, behave, and be good.

Standards can be relaxed in a number of areas or they can be hardened in other areas depending upon the mood and whims of the larger society but those areas I listed above should be consistent and not be trifled with. When basic manners, integrity, and matters of presenting become optional rather than mandatory, it’s likely that the entire society will feel the ill effects of such an absence of standards rather quickly. Fundamentally, systemic societal issues such as corruption, violence, and poverty, which while they have a wide range of causes are still related to an absence of moral and behavioral standards.

In a free society, standards can most definitely change and be adapted to fit to the times but it has to be with the approval of the majority of those people in that society. Leaving standards to the whims of a few leaders can be cumbersome and even negligent especially if they themselves due not match the standards for which they should follow based on their leadership roles. Standards are best when they are created, managed, and enforced in a democratic fashion and where the majority of people in that society are able to follow those standards.

While we are all individuals, we are all still apart of a collective society and we have to sometimes sacrifice our personal standards when we come up against those standards of the larger society even when we may fundamentally disagree with them. No standard is perfect but if the society has collectively agreed upon those standards, then all of the people must abide by them to the best of their ability. If the standards are to be changed, that should be done over time with the consent of the majority. Even if we don’t like the standards, if no one agrees to them, then they are not standards anymore and society could suffer as a result.

If you don’t like the absence of certain standards or believe that they are too burdensome on you or people that you know, then you need to make the effort and put in the work to change these standards. If you don’t like with how someone is behaving, then you need to make an informed argument as to how that person should behave in a more polite and decent manner. If you see some form of corruption and certain political leaders are letting it slide, then you need to take some responsibility in holding yourself first to a higher standard and then calling out that corruption to get others behind you so that the corruption may end in the future.

Individuals have power in a society with standards but they will fundamentally have less power in a society where there are weak standards or none at all. That is also the case where one sole individual can set standards for everyone else without so much as a protest from others, which is also dangerous and detrimental to society as a whole.

While standards such as for behavior, dress, professionalism, ethics, etc. may not always be popular to uphold, these standards form the backbone of the collective society. With the absence of any sort of standards comes at the behest of laws, rules, regulations, and principles as well. Standards form the base for a civilized society and in their absence; there is no way that a society of individuals can function at all.

When you read this article, think about your own standards and how they came to be in your thinking. Also, think about how important they are to you. Lastly, think about the current standards of your society and how long it took for them to be formed and implemented as well as how important they also are regardless if you agree with their being in existence or not. Standards are not meant to be popular all the time but they are meant to ensure codes of conduct in various manners of life.

The sheer absence of standards leads to an anarchy of sorts that would render polite society meaningless and turn individuals against each other in a collective free-for-all. Understanding the why of standards will make you more likely to improve and better your own existing ones.