Category: bonds

The Need to Revive Third Spaces

“In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant.”

In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant. The rapid rise of social media, virtual teleconferencing, and remote work, while convenient, has inadvertently eroded the fabric of community life across the world. People now spend more time in their private homes or virtual worlds, leaving little room for real-world, in-person interaction and causing our social skills to atrophy.

This new reality has led to a society that feels increasingly fragmented, even though we are more “connected” than ever before. Reviving ‘third spaces’ as places that are neither at home nor at work, is crucial for fostering more community, improving overall mental well-being, and re-establishing a sense of belonging that is rapidly slipping away.

The concept of third spaces was first introduced by the sociologist Ray Oldenburg in the 1980s. Mr. Oldenburg argued that people need separate spaces outside of their homes (the first space) and workplaces (the second space) to relax, socialize, and build relationships. These third spaces are at the heart of community life, where casual encounters can lead to meaningful connections, new ideas can be exchanged, and civic engagement can flourish. Historically, third spaces have included places like cafés, libraries, public parks, community centers, and even religious institutions—venues that offer a neutral ground where everyone is welcome, and no one is excluded.

Third spaces are characterized by several key attributes: they are easily accessible to the public, offer a low barrier to entry, and are often inexpensive or free. The atmosphere is typically relaxed, informal, and conducive to spontaneous interactions. Unlike at work or even at home to some extent, people can let their guard down in these third spaces, making it easier to build authentic friendships and relationships. These third places provide a vital counterbalance to the isolated routines of home and work life, which can serve as anchors for community cohesion.

In the 2020s thus far, third spaces have been steadily disappearing from our society or transforming in ways that reduce their community-building potential. Many cafés and bars have morphed into workspaces, filled with patrons glued to their laptops, headphones in, and social interactions minimized. It doesn’t help when the music is blaring, and the focus is on making a profit rather than stoking conversation and comraderie.

Libraries, once vibrant hubs of communal activity, are often silent, with the rise of digital media and one-click access to books, music, movies, etc. These technological changes have reduced the need for people to physically gather there at the library even when they enjoy the nostalgia of it. Public parks are underfunded and sometimes ignored, and community centers struggle to keep their doors open amidst tight budgets and a lack of spreading the word around the town or city they want to appeal to.

The COVID-19 pandemic further accelerated this decline in third spaces. Lockdowns, social distancing, and remote work have made public gathering spaces feel risky, unappealing, or unnecessary. Even as restrictions have now eased or gone away completely, the habits formed during the pandemic continue to persist. People are increasingly content to stay home, order food and goods online, and engage with others through screens. This societal shift has left communities more disconnected and less resilient, especially to misinformation and polarization.

To address this growing disconnection, I believe that a society needs to reinvest in and revitalize these third spaces. Several types of third spaces are particularly worth reviving including the following:

  1. Community Cafés: Cafés have long been the quintessential third spaces, but they need to reclaim their role as social hubs rather than workstations. Imagine local coffee shops with community tables, guest speakers, encouraging conversation between strangers, or hosting regular events like poetry readings or discussion groups. These spaces should foster interaction and connection, not isolation.
  2. Public Libraries: Libraries are one of the few remaining third spaces that are truly accessible to all, regardless of one’s socio-economic status. Modern libraries should expand their role as community centers by offering more than just books. They can host workshops, film screenings, art exhibits, and civic meetings on important issues going on within the community. Libraries can serve as the epicenter of a community’s cultural and intellectual life. They should also include events for people of different generations or even cut across generations for communal meetups.
  3. Public Parks and Outdoor Spaces: Parks and outdoor spaces provide the setting for unstructured play, exercise, and relaxation. These spaces should be maintained and expanded, with facilities that encourage community use—such as picnic areas, playgrounds, sports courts, and outdoor stages for performances. In urban areas, the creation of pocket parks or pedestrianized streets can make a big difference in encouraging public gatherings. I have always liked the idea of having street fairs that encourage artistic and musical expression from those people within a community. Outdoor exercise areas for adults are also a great way to get people out of the home especially when they don’t pay a price to take care of their physical health.
  4. Cultural Centers: Places that celebrate local arts, traditions, and multicultural experiences can serve as vibrant third spaces. These centers can host exhibitions, live performances, and hands-on workshops that bring diverse groups together. By emphasizing inclusivity and creative expression, cultural centers help bridge societal divides and foster a sense of shared identity. I would also extend the appeal of these centers to include a focus on learning different languages, having potlucks or dinner events where different cultures can express themselves to the community, they have a presence in.
  5. Co-Working and Maker Spaces: While many co-working spaces have become more like isolating offices, there is still a potential to redesign them as collaborative third spaces. These spaces can blend work and socialization by offering communal areas for shared projects, networking events, and skill-sharing sessions. Similarly, maker spaces—where people can create, build, and invent—can foster a strong sense of community among innovators, entrepreneurs, and hobbyists. Having night classes or bootcamp sessions for adults looking to reskill or to improve their skillsets is also a way of making co-working spaces appealing not only in the daytime but at night as well. If these places can lower their costs to the public or be free to a community, it would make a huge difference to those people who need its services.

Third spaces are more than just locations for socializing and learning new things, but they also play a fundamental role in the overall health and vitality of a community.

Here’s how that is the case in various ways:

  1. Strengthening Social Bonds: Third spaces foster relationships between people who might not otherwise cross paths or meet each other. These spaces allow for casual, spontaneous interactions that can lead to friendships, collaborations, and support networks. By creating environments where people can come together and engage with each other without the profit motive in the way, third spaces will help reduce feelings of loneliness and social isolation, which are on the rise in many parts of the world.
  2. Encouraging Civic Engagement: Third spaces often serve as venues for community discussions, grassroots organizing, and public forums. These spaces make it easier for individuals to get involved in local issues, volunteer, or participate in civic activities. When people feel connected to their community through shared spaces, they are more likely to take an active role in improving it. It provides a way for their voices to be heard and not ignored by those who hold power or hold public office.
  3. Promoting Diversity and Inclusion: In an increasingly polarized and divided world, third spaces can help bridge divides between people. These are the places where people from different backgrounds, professions, and viewpoints can come together on neutral ground to discuss important topics that matter to the community. In inclusive third spaces, everybody is welcome to partake, and everyone has an equal opportunity to participate, which can break down barriers between us and foster mutual understanding.
  4. Enhancing Mental and Physical Well-Being: The act of simply being around other people in a relaxed, welcoming environment can have significant benefits for one’s mental health. Third spaces offer a respite from the pressures of work and home life where you are always expected to play a role and do your part. Being able to provide people opportunities for recreation, relaxation, and emotional support away from those other two spaces is key to a healthier life. Physical third spaces like parks and recreation centers also encourage healthy lifestyles through outdoor activities and sports that everyone is welcome to join and use.
  5. Revitalizing Local Economies: Vibrant third spaces can breathe life into local economies regardless of whether it’s for a town or a city. When communities invest in their parks, cultural centers, and other public spaces, they attract traffic and interest to surrounding businesses. Small businesses like cafés, bookstores, and boutiques often thrive when they are near popular third spaces, creating a positive economic ripple effect.

In today’s disconnected age, the need to revive third spaces is essential for building healthier, more connected communities, which are lacking in many towns and cities these days. These ‘third spaces’, which are neither at home nor at work, provide crucial opportunities for socialization, civic engagement, and personal well-being.

By reimagining and reinvesting in community cafés, public libraries, parks, cultural centers, co-working spaces, and even new types of third spaces, we can restore the fabric of community life that is increasingly being frayed. In a time when loneliness and polarization are rampant, third spaces offer a powerful antidote—one that is more important than ever in the 2020s. Reviving these spaces is not just a nostalgic pursuit; it is a necessary step toward a more inclusive, resilient, and vibrant society.

Trust Is The Foundation

“Trust is the bedrock that glues our society together. It is the foundation for which our relationships are built on.”

Without trust, there can be nothing. Trust is the bedrock that glues our society together. It is the foundation for which our relationships are built on. Once that bedrock is ruptured, it can never fully heal again. This is why we place such a high value on it because it can be hard to find or even replicate whether in business or in work or in our lives in general. We learn from a young age the value of keeping our word, being accountable for our actions, and being part of a team or a whole.

If we cannot make a promise, we shouldn’t keep it. We learn not to overpromise, undersell, or to bite off more than we can chew in what we can be relied upon for. Whether it is a secret between friends, a business deal that should remain private, or our duty to uphold a certain standard in our professional lives, the ideal of trust is at the center of how we are expected to act and behave. Trust can be earned over time and can take months, years, or even decades to build on it but while it is hard to gain trust initially, it can last a very long time with repeated adherence.

However, once the trust is broken between people or groups or societies, it can never truly be fully healed again as it once was. While verbal trust is a key part of our lives, we often go above and beyond to string together the bonds of trust more deeply. We shake hands to formalize a deal, sign the terms and conditions of an agreement, have legal papers, lawyers, and the ‘fine print’ drawn up, so the trust given and received is as clear as day. There are multiple ways to establish trust with each other but there are just as many ways that trust can be broken too if you are not careful.

It is not just our work lives or business success that depends on the trust established within them but also our personal relationships. If you are not seen as trustworthy but those people who are closest to you, it is likely that will extend outwards to other kinds of relationships in your life. It is vital to maintain your trustworthiness across the board regardless of how fleeting the ties to the other person or group are. While our relationships, business dealings, and professional ties will all begin and come to an end, our reputation precedes us throughout our lives, and it is important to keep your trustworthiness intact as you navigate the years and decades of who you meet and who you establish connections with.

Trust is not only about keeping your word or telling the truth to someone else or acting in an honest matter, but it is also about not promising something that you can’t deliver on or embellishing or making up falsehoods to earn the other person’s trust. You may think you are able to take an action or provide something or to promise a result but if you cannot guarantee it 100%, it’s best to pull back and let that person or group know that it is not entirely possible. How often have you heard that expression, “don’t make a promise that you know you can’t keep.”

It’s not only about breaking a promise that shatters trust but also trying at something that you said would happen and guaranteeing its success without being realistic about the odds or about if you could deliver the intended result without error, delay, or setbacks. You not only have to be honest with other people to establish trust but also honest with yourself and what you can and what you cannot do for them.

Our own ego can sometimes hurt our own trustworthiness because we are biased in believing we can do more or be more or accomplish more than what we can do when we make a promise. It can be difficult to reign back our promises to others and to pull back our own ego when it comes to what we are capable of. However, it is necessary to keep our trust alive with the other group or person with whom you are dealing with. I believe it is better to hurt our own ego when it comes to being realistic about the promises or the actions, we can accomplish rather than to lie or to embellish or to delay the unrealistic promises that were made, which hurts that trust or even breaks it completely. When the trust is broken, the other person won’t think you’re honest or reliable or even a good person so that is why trust itself is the foundation for which any kind of relationship is built upon.

Trust being the foundation of an individual’s relationships is key, but it also portends to our society and our world. Shared values, beliefs, and rules are built on trust in that if you will follow them and obey them so will everyone else living in that society. If that trust is broken in the sense that there are rules for me and you, but not for them, then that trust in one another starts to erode. Basic civility, courteousness, respect for laws and rules, and overall trust builds society up and when promises are broken, when double standards are common, and when one party or group holds unfair advantages over another group, without any kind of recourse or change made to make the society fairer, then the society will suffer as a result.

It is no accident that more productive and successful societies and countries function at a higher level, and it comes down a high level of trust between its citizens regardless of age, gender, race, socioeconomic background, etc. When trust is shared by all to play by the rules and do the right thing for each other, then that society and/or country will flourish as a result. How can a society establish strong economic ties, pass new laws that are enforced for all, and foster a strong education system that works for all? if it is not built on that fundamental trust that we are to look out for one another rather than to take advantage of one another instead.

If you can read this article knowing that your trust for your fellow man or woman is high and that they can rely on you as you would rely on them, then you’re in good shape where you are with the trust of your society. However, if your trust in your fellow man or woman is waning and you are skeptical of other people’s intentions often, well, then unfortunately, your society has a lot of work to do to rebuild and strengthen that fundamental trust. You should be part of that change by helping to build up the trust in one another again where you are at rather than to keep poking holes in the foundation or to tear it down completely. The choice is yours to make.