mentee – The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

Over the course of a lifetime, you can acquire knowledge, resources, and perspective from having lived longer and experienced more than perhaps your peers and more so than those people younger than yourself. Hopefully, although this is not always the case, you will have gained ideas, maturity, and wisdom, which you can impart on those who will come after you. Now while I am not directly referencing mentorship or being a mentor to others, I encourage those who have the knowledge and skills handed down to them or learned through their own efforts to pass that wisdom down to the next generation.

While ‘paying it forward’ may have gone out of style, it has been a part of human history since the early days of man. All great works in this world could be lost if it was not for oral or written recordings so that the knowledge could be passed on to those younger and curious to learn from those who came before them. Teachers, professors, coaches, and mentors play a valuable role in our society because they are entrusted with the high responsibility on passing on their mastery of different subjects on to the next generation. While these are not perfect people, they take it upon themselves to pass on their teachings to those younger and more inexperienced in the hopes that they will take their learnings to improve the world in some way.

However, you do not need to be a teacher or a professor to pass on your knowledge or your skills to younger peers or students. Everybody should take it upon themselves to ‘pay it forward’ in some way by imparting your hard-earned knowledge on to others whether they are family members, friends, mentees, or work colleagues. Part of paying it forward is realizing that you will not be around forever and if you bottle up all of your wisdom, experiences, and overall knowledge inside your mind then it will be truly lost with your passing.

You can be sure that one way to leave an impact, make your mark, and have a legacy is to teach others what you were taught while adding your own perspectives on what you have learned so that you can add your own context to the subjects you have mastered. Nobody is perfect but it is better to share that knowledge with an apprentice or a student than to let it go to waste and be lost to the ether.

From Socrates to Plato and Robespierre to Napoleon, both knowledge and wisdom has been passed down from one generation to the next. In order to progress and advance in your professional life, you’ll sometimes need to reach out on your own to those older and more experienced than you in your field of work. Guilds, trade apprenticeships, and mentoring programs do a lot of the good work in terms of paying it forward, but these opportunities don’t always come around for the average person.

If you see someone who you can help out either professionally or personally and you want to take them under your wing to see how they progress, that’s the best way of paying it forward. Instead of just choosing anyone to help, focus on those people who are interested in your line of work or have the same kind of personal life as you did. You will want to help those folks who are willing to listen, to learn, and to actually implement the advice that you give them. Sometimes, it’s best to let that person reach out to you when they are looking for help but you may have to take the initiative if you don’t have anyone reaching out.

As I discussed in a previous post, mentorship goes both ways but paying it forward is something you should do out of the good of your own heart and out of a desire to leave the world better than when you found it by positively impacting someone’s life. All of us have a lot of experience, knowledge, and skills to share and there are many people out there who don’t or won’t have access to the same resources as we did.

Of course, first, you’ll have to find who that person is who you want to help but remember to not be too selective or wait forever to make your impact. If you have been working hard over the years and decades to build up your knowledge, you should not let it all go to waste by keeping it to yourself. When no one sets the example of paying it forward, it can create a negative ripple effect whereas that kind of useful information or life experience won’t be passed down to those who need it the most.

You may not see the rewards of your efforts in sharing your knowledge or expertise right away but over the years and decades of you helping others, you will definitely see the results whether its’ in the neighborhood, the community, the country, or the world. Everybody has something to contribute to the overall society and even more so when you are able to help others do the same in their own way. ‘Paying it forward’ may not be requirement in living a good life but it will certainly leave an impact on yourself and those who you assist and help during the course of your life.

Since the days of ancient Greece, the concept of mentoring or mentorship has been apart of human recordkeeping and history. The naming of the word itself ‘mentor’ is said to have come from Homer’s ‘Odyssey’ where the main character, Odysseus, while getting ready to leave for his famous voyage, decided to leave his infant son behind. Because he didn’t want to leave his son alone considering how long his ‘odyssey’ could be, His infant son, Telemachos, was left in the care and companionship of Odysseus’s friend named ‘Mentor.’ From this allegorical story from Homer, we get a sense of how longstanding the idea of mentorship has been around and why it has lasted throughout the centuries.

Why exactly is mentorship so powerful? Well, there are a number of reasons why it can be such a helpful and important part of a person’s success. People very rarely can do everything by themselves and to have the ability to seek out someone who gives them both their time and expertise without asking for anything in exchange is what makes having a mentor so powerful. Now, not everybody starts out being the best mentor. It’s a skill like any other skill that takes time to develop. It’s also impossible to mentor somebody in every aspect of his or her life.

It would be better to focus on an area where you think you can be a good mentor and lend help to another person. For example, if you’re good at writing and consider yourself to be a writer, you should want to mentor someone else who’s aspiring to be a writer and not someone who wants to become a mechanical engineer. Your mentoring has to line up with the mentee’s aspirations and what they hope to do in the future. Mentorship doesn’t only have to be professional advice but it can also involve be personal advice as well. Mentorship can range from how to learn a new skill set in order to make more money to being able to manage your personal relationships better.

Before mentorship can begin though, a level of trust has to be built up over time between the mentor and the mentee. When you’ve taken upon the role of the mentor, it’s important to make sure that you think that the mentee can be successful and that they can put in the work and effort to reach their goals. If somebody is mentoring you, it’s important to make sure that you know them well already, you respect them, and you find that they have good expertise and knowledge in the field or area that you need mentoring in.

A mentor doesn’t have to be a boss or a co-worker. It could also be a friend or family member who you have a close relationship to and is able to give you sound advice based off of their personal and/or professional experiences. When it comes to mentorship, it has to be a consistent and long-standing relationship between two people. The mentor and the mentee should be meeting on a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly basis together in order to make actual real and sustained progress on both their short-term and long-term goals. If you’re only meeting with a mentor once every month or every three months, it’s not going to work out and you’ll be lucky to make any lasting progress. If mentorship is done right, the mentee will see themselves go far in the area, skillset, or field that they’re focusing on especially if the mentor is giving out real, practical advice that they themselves have proven to work.

For mentorship to be successful, it’s important that this kind of relationship between two people be a two-way street and not just a one-sided affair. The mentee should not be getting 100% of the benefits out of the mentorship because respect and appreciation has to be paid from the mentee to the mentor. Time, as we all know, is quite valuable and for a mentor to be giving his time freely to the mentee especially on a weekly or monthly basis is a very selfless thing to be doing. While the mentor should not expect anything in return right away, a healthy mentorship would involve the mentee taking it upon himself to show his appreciation and thanks through small gestures. It could be buying your mentor a gift for the holidays or buying them a ticket to a baseball game or a concert but it’s important to show that you care about the mentorship and that you realize it’s nice to give back every now and then.

If you’ve built up a strong personal friendship with your mentor, it would be nice for the mentee to spend time with the mentor outside of their formal meetings / sit-downs, etc. For example, if you two have shared interests outside of business, you can go out together for dinner, or do an activity together. Mentorships don’t have to be strictly business all of the time and the best mentorships are when both parties like each other and would consider themselves to be good friends. One of the key powers of mentorship is its’ sustainability and longevity when it’s done right. A fruitful mentorship of months and even years can definitely change the course of a person’s life. While not the easiest thing in life to take upon oneself, being a mentor to someone is one of the most rewarding things a person can do and it’s an easy way to make the world a bit better than before.

Unfortunately, true mentorship today isn’t as prevalent as it used to be and is a far cry from what it was like just a generation or two ago. Most people today do not have a mentor in their lives to help them who can they rely on for good advice without paying money. If you’re able to be a mentor to someone who needs your help or advice, it is something that should be seriously considered especially if that person has a lot of potential. Mentorships shouldn’t always be thought of in terms of the mentor being older the mentee in terms of age.

That’s a fallacy in that there are ways in which older people can learn from younger people especially in this current digital age of technology. The power of mentorships lies in the inherent decency of one person helping another person to get ahead in life in any way that they can. The mentee can then take the advice to heart and work hard to improve themselves in professional and/or personal ways. The mentee should show gratitude and appreciation to the mentor because having a good mentor who is generous with his time is not easy to find these days. While mentorships and apprenticeships were more common a generation or two ago, they are exceedingly rare nowadays. If you’re able to have a good mentor in your life, remember to be grateful for it and pay it back in the future by mentoring another person who is growing through the same struggles and setbacks that you once conquered yourself.

If there were more active mentoring going on between people, not only would their own individual lives improve over time but also that of the local community and society as a whole. When more and more folks are willing to give back to others in their community and help them out consistently, that helps out the society in general. The power of mentorship is also a reminder that we’re all in this together and we should try to spur on success of others rather than kick them down a notch. You’ll feel happier and more engaged in the world to when you give mentorship a shot so I encourage those of you reading this article to go out there, think about why mentorship is important, and figure out if that is a calling that you personally would like to take upon in the future in an effort to help other people help themselves.