Tag: writing

Your Job Is Not Your Identity

“While work makes up most of our day and perhaps week when you consider the weekend is still only two days (or sometimes less) for most adults, let’s not make work our sole identity, especially in this current environment.”

We spend most of our adult lives at work and when we’re not working, we’re likely thinking about work, preparing to work, or going to and from work. While work makes up most of our day and perhaps week when you consider the weekend is still only two days (or sometimes less) for most adults, let’s not make work our sole identity, especially in this current environment. When you have situations where companies are laying off workers to save money on their bottom line, unionization is at historic lows with workers not allowed or able to organize to advocate for themselves, and wages stagnating behind productivity gains since the 1980s, we need to not think of work as our sole identity anymore.

It’s important to work hard and to do your job well but at this point, that alone doesn’t get you ahead in life as much as it used to. At the same time, a full-time job nowadays doesn’t guarantee a pension, steady retirement benefits, or even optimal health care into old age like it may have decades ago. The benefits are not what they used to be and stability in any industry seems to be a thing of the past. I wish I had an answer on how to improve the work culture and perhaps I’ll share my thoughts on that issue but I would rather speak to how it’s vital to invest in your identity outside of the workplace, not to be too attached to a company or an industry, and to keep upskilling so that you can continue to make a living in the future, even when your employer doesn’t invest in you.

When you choose to upskill yourself or advocate for skills training if your employer provides it, you’re giving yourself a key advantage that could keep you employed in the future regardless of how your industry changes. I wish constant upskilling wasn’t necessary as your degrees, experience, and past skills or abilities gained should be enough, but unfortunately that’s not the world we’re living in.

Now, there’s a cost involved and sometimes you may have to foot the bill to upskill yourself, but I think it’s necessary to do so you build skills beyond your current role in case you need to pivot. Instead of identifying yourself with your company or position, identify primarily with what skills or certificates or knowledge you have and how you can pick up work in the future. Tying your identity to your current title, organization, or skillset is a recipe for losing it eventually with nowhere to pivot to without having another skillset or knowledge base to pull from.

For example, you may be an excellent data analyst and have built your experience up in that area over the years. However, if you can also obtain complimentary skills in project management or financial oversight, you can pivot to those kinds of jobs if you are not able to find another job as a data analyst. I highly recommend investing in your professional skillset so that you are not tied up in one field for the rest of your career, leaving yourself vulnerable to industry collapse, lack of positions available, or technological changes, which all could occur over time.

It takes more effort beyond traditional education you may have received but it may be worth the money to learn new skills in case you have to stay employable. I never wish anyone to lose their livelihood or job, but you must be taking precautions nowadays as the job market can be quite brutal to those people who don’t have complimentary skills to offer.

When the work is over, you should make the most of it and try to put it out of your head as much as possible. Yes, you can find comradery at work and have a good experience but sometimes, you are going to be dealing with difficult people who you would rather not have to interact with. Be professional, respectful, and responsible but don’t look for friends or fulfillment in a workplace where you may not be able to find it. You must be able to find fulfillment elsewhere these days whether it’s at a community center, a shared hobby alone or with others, getting exercise and staying healthy, or just spending time with friends and family.

I know it’s challenging if you’re working 40 hours or more on top of commuting to an in-person job back and forth and I hope that changes in the future. Having a flexible work environment can make life much more enjoyable. With the limited free time that you have, try to make the most of it, spend it doing stuff you enjoy around people you like being with. Modern work culture is not working out well in a variety of ways but before the system can change, we must realize that our identity should not be tied to it so much.

Instead of continuing to identify yourself with your title and your organization when meeting someone, talk about who you are as a person, what you like to do, how you spend your free time, and try not to focus so much on work when you clock out. Reclaim your time outside of work as much as possible and if you end up needing to find a new job, don’t let yourself mourn what is no longer part of your life. Be able to find contentment in what other titles you have such as a brother, son, traveler, guitarist, or whatever title you can make part of your whole identity. Just because we must work to make a living in this world doesn’t mean that it defines who we are.

Mi Septimo Conjunto de Poemas en Español (My Seventh Set of Spanish Poems)

“Cuatro poemas originales en español sobre el amor, la felicidad, los deseos cotidianos y el encanto de Buenos Aires.”

Felicidad

En los momentos mas especiales,
Nada puede disminuir mi vida.
La exaltación de la existencia,
Mi alma sera tan inmensa.
En tu presencia, me siento feliz.
Por siempre.

Tacos, Tacos, Tacos

Un impulso incontrolable.
Asada, chorizo, pastor,
y todos los demás.
Dame tacos, dame felicidad.
Por la mañana,
por la tarde,
por la noche.
A cualquier hora del día,
estaré listo a comerlos.
Porque no hay nada
más rico en este mundo
que unos buenos tacos.

Para Conquistarme

Sí, me gusta todo de ti,
pero dime: ¿tienes ganas de conquistarme?
Soy mucho más
de lo que mis ojos muestran.
Puedes conocer mi cuerpo,
pero ¿conocerás también mi mente?
Mi cuerpo puede acercarse a ti,
pero mi alma no es tuya.
Para conquistarla,
tendrás que conocerme
mucho más.

Una Vida Argentina

Yo sé que mi acento es diferente,
yo sé también que mi voseo está mezclado.
Pero, al mismo tiempo,
me encanta estar frente al Obelisco,
celebrando con los fanáticos de Boca Juniors,
mirando El Ateneo, una de las librerías más bonitas del mundo.
No soy argentino, pero extraño la vida porteña.
Mándame una invitación para regresar,
y vamos a comer un asado y tomar vino juntos
porque Buenos Aires todavía me llama.

Find Someone Who is a Real Shot of Life

“After so many lackluster encounters, meeting that rare man or woman who lights you up, is interesting and engaged, can ask questions and hold a conversation, you know you’ve met someone who is a real shot of life.”

Do you remember when you met someone who left such an impression on you that you couldn’t wait to see them again? They give you that shot of life because of how vivacious, entertaining, and lively they are, which have become exceedingly rare qualities these days. We often go through our day-to-day routines around people who are nice but either not very interesting or not very engaging. It could be a dull coworker, a disinterested boss, or a flummoxed stranger who can’t hold a conversation even when it’s about the weather.

After so many lackluster encounters, meeting that rare man or woman who lights you up, is interesting and engaged, can ask questions and hold a conversation, you know you’ve met someone who is a real shot of life. They don’t need to necessarily fulfill the role of a romantic partner or a friend or a colleague but just being around them makes you feel better and they see you as an actual person rather than a means to an end. There’s real light behind their eyes, there is depth to them that you want to uncover, and they can put forth effort into making themselves available to you.

There’s a balance there as you don’t want someone who is lively, but is also not overbearing, not respectful of your boundaries or just takes too many risks that could lead to trouble. There are several qualities to look for in people you should want to be around: curiosity, presence, playfulness, storytelling, humorous, reciprocity, initiative, depth, and vitality. They don’t necessarily need to be extroverted either but it’s more about how they treat you, if they remember you, they make the effort to see you again, and they know that interactions and conversations are not meant to be a monologue.

Being charismatic and making yourself known to others is part of it but it’s also being engaged and taking a normal interaction and making it better. For some examples, it could be the bartender who remembers your birthday if you have been a regular there for years, the woman or man at a dinner party who asks an engaging question about your background, the coworker who cracks a funny joke to you privately about the latest rule at the office, or even the traveler on the road who takes the time to hear your own story after they’ve told you theirs and will react to it with real interest.

A lot of modern life is repetitive and many of our interactions with other people, especially strangers are quite mundane. Most interactions are shallow or don’t happen at all considering how much technology is absorbing our limited attention spans. When somebody comes along and breaks up your routine and lights up your day, you’ll remember them for weeks or months or even years later just because how special it was compared to most other interactions. It’s not even that it was an extraordinary meeting, but it was more about interested that person was, how they made you feel seen, and the depth and realness of the conversation.

When someone takes you out of that loop of emails -> meetings -> screentime -> commuting to focus on them alone, that is powerful and exceedingly rare to have. The ideal is that the ‘real shot of life’ this person gives you is energy without chaos, confidence without arrogance, curiosity without obsession, spontaneity without recklessness, and warmth without neediness. Having a real shot of life someone isn’t about the adrenaline they can give you, it’s about when they make you feel alive and present in the moment.

Perhaps the best thing we can do is try to become a ‘shot of life’ for someone else and they can do the same for you in return by setting the example for them. That doesn’t mean becoming the loudest person in the room, constantly entertaining everyone, or turning yourself into some larger-than-life personality. It means staying curious about the world. It’s about asking questions and listen to the answers. Develop new hobbies and interests in your life. Try new things and learn new things as well. Tell stories and jokes without fear of how they’ll be perceived. Make plans and get outside more often and away from your tech devices.

Be willing to laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Put the phone away and give someone your full attention to be truly present with them. Most importantly, try and remember more about other people you care about and take note of who they are. In a world where so many interactions have become transactional, distracted, or purely obligatory, genuine engagement has become a gift. You never know when someone else might desperately need the little bit of energy, humor, curiosity, or warmth that you have to offer.

Maybe that is ultimately why someone who is a ‘real shot of life’ leaves such a lasting impression on us. They remind us that life doesn’t have to feel like a series of obligations, routines, meetings, errands, and small talk. Occasionally, someone comes along and shakes us out of that rhythm, whether in our hometown or on the road. We talk for hours with them when we expected to talk for twenty minutes. We laugh and joke harder than we have in weeks. We find ourselves looking forward to seeing them again before we’ve even said goodbye.

They don’t necessarily become our best friend, romantic partner, or lifelong companion. Sometimes, they simply pass through our lives for a brief period and leave something memorable behind. For however long they’re there in your life, they make the world feel a little more interesting, a little more connected, and a little more alive. Perhaps that’s the real mark of someone who is a ‘shot of life’: after spending time with them, you walk away feeling more alive yourself.

Mind Your Manners and Niceties in Public

“Sadly, this is not an isolated occurrence in the post-COVID world as manners have declined, niceties are becoming rarer, and kind gestures to strangers are less common than before.”

When someone is walking towards you on the sidewalk and you know they’re going to bump into you if you or them don’t change course, what do you do then? In my case, I realize they are in my path as I try to be aware of my surroundings, especially in my city as I’m walking and trying not to be on my phone and I’ll move aside for that person accordingly. While I don’t mind making the gesture myself to avoid a collision with that person unnecessarily, the fact that they don’t make any attempt to move themselves out of our colliding path or at least acknowledge my presence instead of being on their phone or talking to a friend reflects a clear lack of manners and niceties we should expect from one another when in public.

Sadly, this is not an isolated occurrence in the post-COVID world as manners have declined, niceties are becoming rarer, and kind gestures to strangers are less common than before. When you live in a city or an urban area especially, these manners and niceties help make the day much easier even when you’re dealing with a lot more people around you. In rural or suburban areas, the pace is slower and there are fewer people, so these manners are more enforced and easier to take note of than in cities. However, our societal expectations around manners and niceties need a real refresher in terms of what to do and what not to do in public spaces.

I don’t expect the average person to have much awareness of what’s customary and what’s not customary manners wise because it really hasn’t been drilled into them by their family, friends, or even from school or work in years. Therefore, we really must do the basic work again in our own day-to-day lives of setting the example, educating others when feasible, and working towards establishing public service announcements or at least some consistent leadership from those of us who have a bigger microphone or outreach capacity to others.

What are the signs of a lack of manners and niceties these days you may ask? The list is evolving but these are the ones that I was taught never to do and there are some newer ones with technology that have been added to my list as well. When you think of common niceties that make things better for everyone, think about the following examples: not littering, don’t cut the line, don’t have loud conversations in public if you can’t maintain an indoor voice, returning your shopping cart when you’re done using it, saying thank you when someone holds the door or being that person who holds the door for the next person behind you. When it comes to driving a vehicle, never park in the handicapped spot unless you or someone with you is handicapped, not using the HOV lane on the highway if you’re driving by yourself, and not tailgating someone’s vehicle when you can maintain distance from them safely.

In addition, certain behaviors that are encouraged or tolerated now which should go back to being frowned upon again include wearing proper attire out in public like the gym, the airport, or the conference center. Pajamas, athletic wear, and beach wear have their places too but not where they shouldn’t be tolerated for dress. For example, you wouldn’t wear athletic wear to a church like you shouldn’t wear your flip flops to a boardroom meeting, right? Same with pajamas or athletic wear at an airport in my view. You’re flying to Dallas, not going to Planet Fitness for an intense gym session for those of you who may disagree here about the appropriateness of athletic wear.

Beyond that, it’s about being kind and courteous to others by acknowledging their presence, knowing where they are, and both of you moving aside so as not to knock into each other unwittingly because you were on your phone or you just didn’t care to move, which shouldn’t be controversial to prevent from happening. Wearing earphones or headphones at meetings, on the train, or in public is the bare minimum for mature behavior and not a big ask to lower or turn off unwanted noise or music for others around you. It pains me to say this too, but some people today need a refresher course on basic manners and niceties, and it goes even more so for the increased incidences of shoplifting, graffiti, lying while serving in a public role, cheating, and just not being truthful with either your words or your actions.

I understand that no one’s perfect and I have not been the best at times due to looking at my phone while walking, maybe getting in the way of others unnecessarily, or just not being as courteous as I could in public. I can always get better at niceties and manners and so can you. It starts with being aware of yourself, acknowledging others’ presence around you, and learning about what is common courtesy and what is not.

I don’t think it should be controversial to dress properly, move aside for each other on the sidewalk, or be respectful on the road while driving. Without these manners and niceties being consistently observed, it’s an actual sign of societal decline and we will all be worse off for it in the long run. Once these manners and niceties go away, proper behavior becomes rarer and then it’s harder to go to work, to attend school, or to build any trust with other people. Manners and niceties are the foundation of a functioning society, and we could all use refreshers on what that means nowadays.

Your Immediate World Gets Quieter As You Get Older

“Loss of loved ones and their physical presence leave a gaping hole in our lives never to be replaced. Yes, you can make new friends, establish new loving relationships, but long past are the days from your youth or even adulthood where you can count on a grandparent or even a parent to be there by your side, providing you their unconditional love, support, or encouragement.”

While we all wish for some lasting peace and quiet from time to time to find serenity in a world that becomes more intrusive and invasive. At the same time, we yearn to hear thoughts and voices again of those long lost from our lives. While the wider world can get loud, obtrusive, or downright annoying with its cacophony of sounds and noises, we yearn unsuccessfully for the unique sounds and voices from those who are long gone from this world, never to be heard from again.

Loss of loved ones and their physical presence leave a gaping hole in our lives never to be replaced. Yes, you can make new friends, establish new loving relationships, but long past are the days from your youth or even adulthood where you can count on a grandparent or even a parent to be there by your side, providing you their unconditional love, support, or encouragement.

We may be surrounded by people every day, mostly strangers, maybe a few friends, but our inner world shrinks down further when we lose the people who knew us best. Very few people in this world are there with you from birth or childhood and they can never be replaced once they pass away. When someone you’ve known your whole life goes away, it leaves a deep empty feeling and a kind of quiet that sustains just how a big loss it was from your immediate world. Memories and mementos help to ease the pain, but they are only a poor substitute or a shadow at best when it comes to establishing just how much they meant to your life.

How does one deal with the huge void that your loved one left when they passed? Well, I don’t have any easy answer here, but it’s important to do your best to think about how they would see you now that they are gone, what they would think about your life now even though they’re no longer there with you, and how would you honor their memory as best as you can with what you shared with them during your time together. Telling their story to others, putting yourself out there to establish new friendships or relationships, and preventing yourself from isolating yourself further from the wider world are all good ways to move forward even if the quiet remains when you can no longer talk to them or hear their voice.

Perhaps that is one of the stranger realities of getting older: the world around us may become larger, while our immediate world becomes smaller. We meet new people, travel to new places, build careers, fall in love, make friends, and create lives that our younger selves could never have imagined. Yet there are certain people from our earlier days who belong to a part of our story that no one else can ever occupy. We may have known them 20, 30, 40 years or so from our life’s beginning but they don’t get to see how the second half of our lives play out without them there to guide or help us. When they are gone, we don’t simply lose a person who was special to us. We lose one of the voices and presences that helped make our world feel like home.                     

Maybe the goal, then, isn’t to eliminate the quiet that remains. Maybe it is to learn how to live alongside it. To carry the stories, habits, humor, lessons, and memories of those we’ve lost into the lives we are still living. The quiet is painful because it reminds us that something precious is missing, but it is also evidence that something precious was once there. Perhaps the best way to honor the beloved people whose voices we can no longer hear is to keep living loudly enough that, in some small way, their influence can still be heard and felt through us.

Memories Are The Only Form of Immortality For Our Loved Ones

“Instead, we should be more focused on the only form of immortality that should matter, which is living on in the memories and thoughts of our loved ones for as long as possible.”

When we think about immortality, we should not think about it in the literal sense that anybody on Earth is ever going to live forever no matter how many scientific advances are made in the future. While people continue to research and work on expanding their given lifespan to eventually never find themselves at death’s door, life is meant to be finite, and that’s the case no matter how long we are given to live that one life. Instead, we should be more focused on the only form of immortality that should matter, which is living on in the memories and thoughts of our loved ones for as long as possible.

No matter who you are in the world, everyone has lost a loved one in their life at some point, whether it was a family member, a friend, or an acquaintance and the grieving process is different for everybody. What anyone who has had that special connection with someone else wouldn’t give to have had another talk, another meal, another time with that loved one is truly priceless but for which we can never get back when they’re gone. Because we don’t ever get that time back with our loved one regardless of who they are or what they did during their life, we should focus instead on remembering the good times and memories that were shared together.

It’s key to really jot those memories down, reflect on them, keep items or trinkets that remind you of your lost loved ones, and think also about the places where they lived or visited. No one is ever truly gone if you carry them with you throughout your life and teach your offspring or other family members about who that beloved person was and what they personally meant to you. While immortality in the abstract sense of a person living forever is not possible and will likely never come to pass, focus instead of making your loved one(s) immortal by thinking about them, preserving your photos and videos of them, telling people about them when appropriate, and keeping them in your heart and in your mind.

Hopefully, the memories you had together were mainly positive and the times you shared were both happy and joyful. Also, you shouldn’t try to make someone immortal in your thoughts and memories who wronged you or made you feel bad even if it was a family member or a friend. Relationships, even amongst family and friends, can be extremely complicated so your willingness to have someone become ‘immortal’ in the metaphorical sense, who was in your life but is now gone should be completely voluntary.

Perhaps that is the closest thing we must experiencing true immortality. We cannot stop death, we are also not supposed to stop death when we consider the religious and societal implications of that futile effort, and we cannot know whether any of us will ever exist again in another form. However, we should remember if we loved or cared for that person who is now gone from our lives physically.

We can still tell stories and tales about them. We can look at saved photographs years later and still smile at the person staring back at us, regardless of how young or old they were when the photos were taken. We can visit the places they once loved and think about the times that were shared with them there. If possible, we can also tell the next generation who they were, what they accomplished, what made them laugh, and why they mattered so much to you.

Eventually, even our own lives will become memories for someone else and hopefully several people in your family and friend group will remember you long after you’re gone because of how important an impact you made in their lives when you were there. That is both beautiful and sobering to think about when we think about the topic of death. We are temporary stewards on this Earth, but the effect that we can have on other people can outlive us for years or even decades later. In that sense, perhaps the best form of immortality is not living forever ourselves but leaving enough of ourselves behind so that others will remember us long after we are gone.

Life’s Unlikely Cinematic Moments

“Every so often, without warning, life gives us something entirely different. It hands us a scene that could have come straight from a movie.”

Life certainly has its fair share of dreary or uninspiring moments like driving to work in heavy traffic, waiting in the doctor’s office for an appointment, or wandering down grocery store aisles searching for one specific item among hundreds of others. It’s easy to think that life is mostly made up of obligations, routines, and responsibilities. Every so often, without warning, life gives us something entirely different. It hands us a scene that could have come straight from a movie.

We spend so much of our lives chasing milestones: job promotions, weddings, vacations, birthdays, graduations, or other long-awaited accomplishments that we often overlook the quiet moments in between that are just as special. Ironically, those quieter scenes are often the ones that replay in our memory years later. They aren’t memorable because something extraordinary happened. They’re memorable because, for a moment, everything around us seemed perfectly composed, almost as if someone had carefully framed the world through a movie camera lens.

In these cinematic moments, nothing particularly significant happens that affects you deeply. There are no life-changing conversations or dramatic plot twists to go with this kind of cinematic moment. Instead, it simply feels as though everything is exactly as it should be. All your senses become heightened when this happens and you notice sounds that normally blend into the background, appreciate the way the light falls across a street or over a mountain, and become fully present rather than rushing toward whatever comes next.

One evening in Vancouver, Canada earlier this summer, I wandered into Richmond’s Chinese food district with no agenda beyond enjoying a late-evening snack at the Yaohan Centre and exploring the different vendor offerings. As the sun slowly sank toward the Pacific, the distant mountains caught the day’s final light, glowing softly against the evening sky. I stepped outside with a cigar I had purchased earlier in the trip, lit it, and settled in to enjoy it while watching the sunset. Above me, the SkyTrain thundered overhead every few minutes as aircraft lined up for takeoff and landing at Vancouver International Airport.

Between bites of dumplings, conversations in Mandarin and Cantonese drifted through the air as cars quietly came and went from the Centre’s parking lot. The city never stopped moving, but for ten minutes, I did. This moment felt less like traveling and more like standing inside a perfectly framed movie scene, where I was somehow both the audience and one of the characters. There was no grand event taking place or resolution occurring for me or anyone else at the time. Nothing about those minutes would have made the local news or anyone else’s travel itinerary. Yet it remains one of the moments I remember most vividly from my time spent in Vancouver.

Looking back, I’ve realized that these cinematic moments are different from life’s highlights. Highlights are the events we intentionally chase throughout our lives. We save money for them, put them on our calendars, and count down the days until they arrive. They are weddings, birthdays, promotions, championship games, graduation ceremonies, concerts, national parks, and bucket-list vacations. They’re often the moments we photograph the most and eagerly share with friends and family. Cinematic moments are something else entirely in life. They aren’t destinations but rather they’re scenes that we set for ourselves, intentionally or otherwise.

The coffee you grab before the concert, where you unexpectedly strike up a conversation and meet someone special, becomes more memorable than the concert itself. The quiet walk back to your hotel late at night, with the city lights guiding your way after visiting a famous landmark, stays with you longer than the attraction itself. The stranger you briefly talk to and instantly connect with on a train for hours telling each other your life story ends up becoming your favorite memory from the trip itself. They are unexpected gifts hidden within ordinary moments that quietly become extraordinary. Highlights tell the story of what we accomplished or where we went. Cinematic moments remind us how life felt along the way within our accomplishments.

The more I’ve traveled, the more I’ve noticed these moments appearing in places I never expected. Walking down a quiet street after an unexpected snowfall with no one else around except the sound of my boots pressing into fresh snow. Enjoying a coffee in a plaza in Medellín while teenagers laughed and shouted encouragement to one another during an impromptu soccer match. Sitting alone on a quiet stretch of beach in Ubatuba, Brazil, listening to nothing but the waves, the wind, and seabirds overhead. Watching the clouds briefly part at Mount Rainier just long enough to reveal the majestic summit before closing again. Even sitting in a busy airport terminal as travelers from every corner of the world cross paths beneath a glowing departure board can unexpectedly feel cinematic and has captivated my full attention many times over.

None of these moments were planned. None of them appeared on a trip itinerary. None of them could have been recreated if I had tried. I’ve come to realize that life’s most cinematic moments rarely announce themselves. They happen beneath train tracks, along airport approach paths, inside neighborhood cafés, on ferry rides, during aimless walks, and in places that most people pass through without a second thought. They last only five or ten minutes before disappearing forever. Perhaps that’s exactly what makes them so meaningful to experience and take note of.

We often measure our lives by the promotions earned, the money made, countries visited, races completed, or milestones reached. These life achievements deserve to be celebrated and remembered. However, I believe life is equally shaped by its quieter scenes, the moments when the lighting is right, the sounds around us blend, and the world briefly feels perfectly composed.

Those moments cannot be scheduled, purchased, or manufactured. Our only responsibility is to slow down enough to recognize them while we’re fortunate enough to still be standing inside the scene and remembering it later. After all, some of the greatest scenes in our lives will never make anyone else’s highlight reel. They’ll simply become part of our own lifelong soundtrack.

Don’t Let Past Regrets Steal Your Present

“Life is short and there’s no use in focusing on your regrets and how life could have been different. You must make peace with the past even if it was disappointing, sad, or regrettable.”

It can be tempting, especially as you get older, to think about what could have been or ask, “what if?” But dwelling on the past can prevent us from fully appreciating the present and building the future we still have ahead of us. It cannot be changed, it happened as it happened, and to waste your present time on what’s happened is a waste of time. Life is short and there’s no use in focusing on your regrets and how life could have been different. You must make peace with the past even if it was disappointing, sad, or regrettable.

Instead, try to learn from what went wrong or what didn’t happen and take that information to make a better future for yourself. Take lessons from the past so you won’t have to repeat the same mistakes repeatedly to hurt your possible future. Maybe there was a sport that you didn’t try hard enough at, a class at school you didn’t take seriously enough, or a relationship that didn’t last as long as you wanted; it does no good to wonder how it could have gone wrong and rather focus on how to be better for having experienced it.

You never want to be on your death bed obsessing over your past regrets. You have to be able to forgive yourself and even the other person(s) involved, or you will never know true peace of mind. Everyone has regrets and wishes how things could have been different but none of us are time travelers. To move forward with your future, you must make peace with your past. It is a much better use of our limited time here on Earth to concentrate on making the most of the time that is given to you, being good to others, working to bring some sense of meaning to this life we’ve been given, and reflecting on not just the bad but what was good and right with your past.

You should spend as much time, if not more time, on the good times and the memories that bring a smile or a laugh to you when you reflect on them instead. You should give more weight to what you’re grateful for and what you’re glad has transpired in your life. We spend too much time focusing on what we lack rather than what we have. Everybody can look back at some point in their life and have a bit of satisfaction with an accomplishment or a goal they achieved, no matter how small it was in the grand scheme of things. It’s not easy to find contentment when your regrets creep in but it’s not that hard to find satisfaction with what happened instead of remorse or regret in your past.

The opposite of living with regret isn’t pretending we made perfect choices in our lives. Instead, it’s about living with gratitude for what we had or what we were given. As cliché as the saying goes, you have to accept what you cannot change and be wise enough to know the difference. Regardless of whether you are 15, 30, 50, or 90 years old, shifting your attention from what might have been to what still can be in your life is very important. Being able to focus primarily on gratitude rather than regret will help you make the most of the time you have left and fuel your purpose in the remaining years you’ve been given.

There is time left to write meaningful chapters if you’re still breathing and still conscious. Yes, some doors can be shut but other doors will open instead. Ruminating endlessly on the past will close all the doors that remain open to you and prevent true growth from happening. If you’re focused endlessly on a past relationship that ended, a bad boss who prevented your career from advancing, or a family member you had a prior falling out with, you won’t be able to focus on the next relationship, the next job opportunity, or mending ties with those closest to you because you couldn’t let go of your past grievances.

Remember to live your life in such a way that today’s choices become tomorrow’s cherished memories instead of tomorrow’s regrets. One day, your life will become a collection of thousands of memories, both good and bad, so make sure you’re still creating the ones you’ll be proud to look back on.

At Its Best, Sports Unites the World

“Whether it’s the FIFA World Cup, the NBA Finals, or the Olympics, sports at their best unite a city, a country, and even the world together.”

Beyond politics, religion, and the many divisions that shape our daily lives, sports remain one of humanity’s most powerful ways to gather. What other way can millions of people gather in New York City, Buenos Aires, or elsewhere to celebrate a victory in a major sport? Whether it’s the FIFA World Cup, the NBA Finals, or the Olympics, sports at their best unite a city, a country, and even the world together.

In these divided and turbulent times, events like the World Cup remind us of our common love of sports and competition. Even when nations face off against each other, it’s a great way to get peoples of different backgrounds together to try each other’s foods, to dance together, and to even share a stadium in a peaceful manner even when they might have nothing else in common. Singing, dancing, celebrating in the streets means that it’s more than just about kicking around a football / soccer ball, it’s about bringing a group of people together to have a real feeling of community again.

Yes, there are always controversies about the sporting world, and the World Cup is no different. Like any human endeavor, sports are often flawed and sometimes unfair. However, it is still the best way to bring people together to receive joy, happiness, and sometimes heartbreak. Sports are a microcosm of life as it may not go your way, but it can bring the best out of you and others when it’s at its best. I have nothing against any religion or anyone’s politics, but when you compare them to sports, there’s no contest in how the latter can bring people together, even in the billions of people to pay attention and cheer their team on in a peaceful and joyous manner.

Perhaps the greatest power of sports is that they allow us to experience belonging without requiring agreement on everything else. A person wearing a jersey in Los Angeles, São Paulo, Seoul, or Nairobi may have completely different political beliefs, religious traditions, or life experiences than the person standing next to them even if they are from the same city or country, yet for ninety minutes, four quarters, or three periods, they are connected by a common purpose. They are not strangers anymore. They are teammates in the moment invested in the same game.

Traveling around the world has shown me that sports are often a universal language that anyone can relate to. You may not speak the same language as someone from another country, but you can celebrate a goal, debate a referee’s decision, or laugh together about a missed chance. A simple conversation about a favorite player or a historic match can open the door to a new friendship. Sports create a bridge between cultures around the world, especially with the World Cup, because they start with something everyone understands on a fundamental level: the excitement of competition and the desire to be part of something bigger than yourself.

Some of my most memorable experiences on the road have not come from famous landmarks or tourist attractions, but from being surrounded by thousands of strangers during a sporting event regardless of if it was rugby, soccer, basketball, or tennis. There is something magical about standing in the crowd where everyone is singing the same song, wearing the same colors, and feeling the same emotions. For a moment, individual worries and biases disappear, and everyone becomes part of one collective experience.

That does not mean sports can solve all the world’s problems as sports like humanity are often flawed and imperfect too. A soccer match will not erase ongoing political disagreements, end active conflicts, or fix social or economic divisions. Perhaps that is exactly why sports matter to most of the world’s people. They give humanity a reminder of what is possible and strive for better. They show us that simple competition does not always have to lead to hatred, and that our differences do not have to prevent connection from happening.

At its best, sports are not about defeating another person or team; they are about sharing an unforgettable moment with millions of other people. A championship parade, a World Cup celebration, or an Olympic victory becomes a memory that people carry for decades or even the rest of their lives. Long after the final whistle blows, people remember where they were, who they celebrated with, and how they felt when it happened and they tell their children and even grandchildren about it.

In a world where so many forces try to divide us and cause hatred, sports remain one of the few places where people can still come together naturally. The scoreboard eventually resets, the trophies gather dust, and the players move on to other endeavors. However, the sense of community, joy, and shared humanity that sports create can last far longer than the game itself.

The Case for Silence in a Loud World

“For me, it’s rare to find places like that on the road where you can meditate, relax, and enjoy the surroundings.”

Recently, I was at a famous Japanese garden in Portland, Oregon, known for being the most authentic one outside of Japan, and it was as serene and peaceful as it could be. It was wonderful to experience such a physical space that was optimized for reflection and observation with how it is structured and organized. For me, it’s rare to find places like that on the road where you can meditate, relax, and enjoy the surroundings. To find a Japanese garden in the middle of Portland that made it feel like Kyoto or Sapporo was not what I was expecting. What would have made it even better though would have been for it to be a completely quiet zone for all visitors as the main rule.

You may be thinking that how would that make a difference? Well, it makes a huge difference to be able to enjoy the views, take in the sounds of nature, and observe more closely the koi fish and other wildlife who call the garden home. When you can focus more on enjoying such a beautiful garden, the last thing I want to hear as a solo traveler are other tourists talking about their recent surgery or angling to take the best selfie in front of a waterfall.

‘Quiet Zones’ in today’s America are increasingly rare and I find that rather unfortunate for our society. Whether it’s the beach where you sometimes need to pay the town or state to enjoy and still have to listen to another person’s music to the office where your colleague doesn’t bring headphones so everyone else can hear their conference call, there is a real lack of decorum or respect to lowering the noise level around us. Private places can do what they want in terms of the rules especially if they own the property but in public places or lands or modes of transport, having quiet areas would make a big difference to those of us who want that available option.

In my case, I do my best thinking and my best work when it’s quiet and I don’t believe I am alone in that. How different would things be for our society if quiet zones or places were an option to create, to reflect, to focus, without all the noisy distractions that keep us from doing what we do best? Whether it’s the beach, the airplane, the train, or just in your neighborhood, quiet hours really can do a lot of good, especially when you’re on a tight deadline or just are seeking some peace and time to reflect.

One example of how ‘quiet zones’ can work is on the Amtrak Northeast Regional train that can take you from Washington, DC up to Boston, Massachusetts over seven or so hours and on the Acela high speed rail option. As someone who rides these two trains a couple of times each year, I always do my best to book a seat or find a way to get to the ‘quiet car.’ I don’t mind it when I end up in a non-quiet car as may happen at times but being able to ride the rails in silence is quite a pleasant experience. Now, the ‘quiet car’ is only one train cars out of nine or ten cars usually so it’s not like every car is ‘quiet.’ Sometimes, on Amtrak, in other parts of the United States, there isn’t even a ‘quiet car’ option. I take it for granted due to my Northeastern roots, but why can’t we create that ‘quiet car’ option for all Amtrak trains and in other places we frequent?

Achieving more quiet in the workplace, on public transportation, in public areas, and even at a Japanese garden is possible. America is a loud and boisterous country and that has served us well over 250 years, but I find that it should be balanced out too. Introducing quieter, more introspection, more peaceful harmony with each other and with nature would be good over time and lead to a lot of different psychological and economic benefits.

When you can focus deeply and sit in quiet, whether surrounded by trees, wildlife, or the sound of waves crashing on the beach, it becomes easier to think clearly and create meaningful work. Yet being alone with one’s thoughts is not easy. Many American naturalists and writers, including Henry David Thoreau, Robert Frost, and John Muir, understood this and deliberately sought out solitude in nature to do their most important thinking. It raises a simple question: if they had been constantly interrupted by noise, crowds, and distraction in the 21st century, would their work have been the same or would it have even happened at all?

The landscapes in America that once gave thinkers space to observe and reflect still exist, but they are harder to hear over the noise of modern life. And yet the need remains unchanged: to think clearly, we must sometimes be willing to step out of the crowd and into silence, even if only for a while. Perhaps the real question is not whether great thinkers need silence, but whether we still allow ourselves to have it. In a world filled with constant noise, distraction has become the default setting rather than the exception. The ability to step away from it, even briefly, may not just shape better work, but a clearer way of seeing the world itself.