Category: lessons

Don’t Degrade Yourself for Money or Power – A Timeless Lesson from ‘Marty Supreme’

“The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.”

*Spoilers ahead for the 2025 film, ‘Marty Supreme’, Directed by Josh Safdie*

Even when a movie is based on a fictional story, there are still kernels of truth that can be taken from it. Such is the case for the critically acclaimed and highly rated movie that came out recently on Christmas Day, 2025: ‘Marty Supreme.’ Without giving away too much of the movie’s plot and setting, I’ll focus instead on a major theme from the movie and how it applies to real life. The main message I took away from this film, and which has been rattling around in my head since I saw it a few days ago is to never degrade yourself for money, power, or fame.

The main character of ‘Marty Supreme’, Marty Mauser, an up-and-coming tennis table contender on the world stage who’s also chasing fame, fortune, and notoriety in pursuing his overall dream of being the best. He also has his eyes and heart set on pursuing a beautiful movie star he comes across on a table tennis tour (despite her being a married woman).

Marty is a polarizing yet mesmerizing character but like the rest of the film’s characters, you can’t help being enamored by his boundless vision, clear goal, and strong determination. Despite my sympathizing with Marty in terms of his drive, work ethic, and grit, the film does a great job of showing how one’s morality, one’s relationships, and ultimate one’s soul can be corrupted in the pursuit of fulfilling a lifelong dream despite the obstacles involved, but at what cost to oneself?

Without giving away too many spoilers as I do encourage you to see the film before making your own judgment, Marty continually degrades himself in his behavior towards others, his association with shady characters who want to see him humiliated on purpose, and in his callous treatment towards competitors who stand in the way of his overall goal. In ‘Marty Supreme’, I found it as an overall cautionary tale for me and others in pursuit of our own goals and dreams in life in treading carefully. No dream, vision, or goal is worth losing your soul over. Think about the limits you should place on yourself in achieving your goals or dreams because you should assuredly do so to protect your soul. One that is a non-negotiable for me and hopefully for others is to not degrade yourself in any way for either money, power, or fame.

Keeping one’s morals, values, and character intact is priceless and no amount of money, power, or fame should ever change that. You must draw boundaries and limits with other people especially when they promise to help you in achieving your goal. Unfortunately, Marty Mauser forgets that in ‘Marty Supreme’ and it ends up costing him dearly along the way. He degrades himself to receive financial assistance in exchange to help him reach his long-desired goal but in the process of doing so, he loses his dignity, self-respect, and humiliates himself in front of other people. Any of our dreams can turn into real nightmares if we don’t impose non-negotiables or boundaries on ourselves and on others on what we are willing to tolerate to achieve success.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong competitive spirit, pushing yourself to the limit mentally or physically, and narrowing your focus on achieving a big goal or dream. However, where you run into possible problems or issues is when you put others in the driver’s seat and let them dictate the terms of how, why, or what they want you to do to achieve money, power, or other success. Don’t lose control over your own destiny and don’t be so desperate to achieve your goal or dream that you embarrass, humiliate, or otherwise degrade yourself to make it a reality. You never want to put your own autonomy at risk, get in deep with dirtbags or scoundrels, or sacrifice your friendships or relationships in the pursuit of your own success.

Being able to walk away, say no, and keep your morals intact is worth more than all the gold and glory that this life has to offer. Remember to evaluate the character and morals of those people you surround yourself with on the road to your goal or dream. Be able to step back, assess who you’re getting involved with, what’s their possible angle in supporting you, and do they have your best interests at heart or are they using you to an end?  I’ve watched this dynamic unfold time and again, from front-page scandals to the corridors of power, where money and ambition slowly corrode the very friendships and relationships that once mattered most.

Success that requires you to abandon your dignity isn’t success. It’s a transaction with a price you’ll eventually regret paying. ‘Marty Supreme’ reminds us that ambition without boundaries doesn’t lead to fulfillment; it leads to self-betrayal. The real victory isn’t reaching the top at any cost; it’s being able to look at yourself along the way and still recognize who you are. If achieving your dream requires you to humiliate yourself, surrender your autonomy, or tolerate people who don’t respect you, then the dream is already compromised. Money can be earned back. Power can shift hands quickly. Fame fades as priorities change. However, once you give away your self-respect, getting it back is a hell of a lot harder. Choose your boundaries wisely and guard them like your life depends on it. 

The Art of an Apology

“One thing I have noticed recently is that some people have a hard time giving a simple apology when they mess up, are rude to others, or don’t have the emotional intelligence to realize when they were in the wrong about something. Now, this is not a good habit to develop as an adult and one that makes you appear to be childish more so than any other negative trait that you could display.”

One thing I have noticed recently is that some people have a hard time giving a simple apology when they mess up, are rude to others, or don’t have the emotional intelligence to realize when they were in the wrong about something. Now, this is not a good habit to develop as an adult and one that makes you appear to be childish more so than any other negative trait that you could display. Learning how to apologize is done when we are children and our parents tell us to always ‘say sorry’ and to learn to be nice to others.

‘Sorry’ is one of the golden words we learn are key to our day-to-day lives. It doesn’t take much to do and will cost you nothing. The fact that many adults don’t know how to do this today in our society is a worrisome sign of how personal relations have decayed compared to previous times. Some people choose to dance around the offense and not acknowledge it while others refuse to take responsibility for their actions which leads to the person who was offended feeling aggrieved and holding a grudge against that person for longer than they should need to.

The old adage of ‘you forgive but you don’t forget’ is not a pretty one but if there is no apology from that person who committed the offense, the other person may learn to forgive them but they will not forget that there was no apology rendered from the other person. I do not endorse holding a long-lasting grudge against other people but being rude, saying bad things about others, and overall not being a respectful person will cause you to lose many different relationships with others. Most adults do not know want to associate with somebody who refuses to apologize or does not take responsibility for their actions.

I believe that with social media and how often we do not see the other person’s face and their body language that we feel comfortable getting away with rude behavior and it has led to that kind of behavior spilling over into real life interactions. A lack of an apology can be due to a person’s own narcissistic nature and to think that the rules like the ‘golden rule’ don’t apply to them and that they can ever do no wrong including causing harm or offense to other people.

The sign of a true mature adult is one who apologize and does so in a sincere manner. It is a heartfelt apology and is usually more than just a simple ‘sorry’ and then move on. If someone cannot even say ‘sorry’ or realize the hurt that they have caused, then they still have a lot of growing up to do and act more like a child or a teenager in an adult’s body than an adult themselves. The sad thing to see in society is when a 45 year old acts like a 15 year old or when a 75 year old acts like a 5 year old, which is often as the result of them not registering other people’s emotions or feelings, and thinking reflectively about their behavior, their tone of voice, and how their language was inappropriate.

The art of an apology is not as simple as it can be made out to be with just a quick ‘sorry’. Often in life, a simple ‘sorry’ does not cut it. I think it’s better to follow these steps to having a legitimate and heartfelt apology that will make the other person feel better and try to restart the relationship or improve it rather than letting it fester and causing the other person to dwell on your insult.

1. Acknowledge You Were Wrong

The first step for any good apology is to acknowledge to someone face-to-face if you can or over phone or email if you can’t see that person that you were wrong. Whether it was something you said or something you did or that you hurt their feelings, acknowledge the thing that caused the original offense, state how it wasn’t right for you to do that, and apologize in that way beyond a quick ‘sorry’. It’s as direct as “I was wrong to…”, “It was not right for me to…”, “You deserve an apology for…”

2. Remember the Incident and What You Took from It

When you acknowledge what you did and that it was wrong, it makes the other person feel like you remembered that it was not the right thing for them to do and that pain was caused. It also means remembering that certain feelings were hurt and that the other person realizes they could have done things different / not said anything at all / or watched what they have said better. Saying ‘sorry’ or apologizing without saying what the ‘sorry’ is for is not a good way to do an apology because you have to be specific regarding what the apology is for and what you did wrong if you caused offense.

3. Be Sincere and Don’t Rush It

How you say an apology is often more important than what you say in the apology. If you are rushing through it, only saying a one-word apology, and not even looking at the person or acknowledging their presence while saying it, then that is not a real apology. A real apology must be congruent with your body language and your eye contact and your tone of voice all on the same page together. You should give that person your full attention and not be checking your phone, reading your email, or have your attention generally elsewhere while doing the apology.

Also, not rushing it means it’s going to take more than a five second ‘sorry’ and move on, if you follow the previous two steps, a good apology will take as long as it needs to which could be anywhere from a minute to ten minutes depending upon what the other person has to say. Depending on the severity of the negative action, you want to give that person a chance to respond, to accept your apology, and to decide how your relationship with them is going to move forward. You cannot force an apology to move forward without the other person agreeing to it so make sure you are patient, forthcoming, and open to listening to what they have to say to you.

4. Be Open to a Change in the Relationship

Even with an apology, sometimes, that person is going to want to take a break from seeing you, hanging out with you, or being around. It can be hard to bring that relationship back to what it was when harsh words are exchanged or when negative actions happened between two people to cause the strife. You have to understand and accept what the other person does because they may not want to trust you again as much or recognize that you aren’t the person who they thought you were.

This may be a hard pill to swallow but you are likely going to have to spend some time away from that person, let them forgive you on their own timetable, and they will set the terms on if they see you again or not. It is possible they may never fully get over what you did and not want to be around you again at all. This is a harsh truth to face for most people but the least you can do is apologize and try to move on.

If that person chooses to accept your apology but not go out of their way to see you again then that is their right to do so and it is up to them how they want to conduct their interactions with you moving forward. As adults, people want to spend time with those people who treat them well, respect them, and are emotionally mature. If you can’t do that, it’s going to be tough to have friends or to be around other family members.

I write this article because too often today I have seen other adults refuse to apologize for being in the wrong and this can cascade throughout the rest of our society. There is a fundamental lack of accountability and also responsibility that starts with a failure to apologize sincerely. It takes real wisdom and maturity to apologize to someone, but it is necessary since we are all flawed and make mistakes.

A true adult owns up to these mistakes they made, apologizes for them to seek forgiveness, and accepts what the other person does in response without any future expectations on how the relationship can move forward. It begins with saying ‘you’re sorry’ but it does not end there and a good apology is more than saying ‘sorry.’ It means acknowledging what you did was wrong, being sincere about it, listening to the other person, and being open to a change in the relationship based on how they want to move forward with you in the future. That is the true art of an apology and one that I hope you will follow in your own life.