Category: life

Dealing with Adversity

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“There is always something positive that comes out of something negative.”

“Remind thyself, in the darkest moments, that every failure is only a step toward success, every detection of what is false directs you toward what is true, every trial exhausts some tempting form of error, and every adversity will only hide, for a time, your path to peace and fulfillment.”
―Og Mandino

Anybody who has ever lived has faced adversity and struggles that test one’s resolve and fortitude. How someone deals with these challenges and setbacks can show you their true character. I used to live under the assumption that everything will go smoothly if you work hard, play by the rules, and do your best. Recent events in my life have shown this hypothesis to not be true. Life is not fair sometimes and it is extremely important to adapt to this fact rather than to fight it head on.

We can curse our misfortunes but it is much better to move on and look to the future. The worst thing that someone dealing with adversity can do is to wallow in self-pity and to be endowed with guilt. The past won’t change but the future is still in your hands to shape. I am glad that I am aware of the realities of the world now while I’m still young rather than to be surprised by them at a later age. If a goal you strived for vanishes into thin air or a dream that you thought would be yours disappears, it does no good to consider what might have been but to plan instead on what could still be.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that over these past two weeks I’ve felt a range of emotions ranging from anger to sadness. I was in denial at first about what happened to me and why it happened to me. Initially, I could not accept what I could not change. I went through the five stages similar to the popular model of ‘Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.’ Luckily, I did not suffer a personal loss or suffer from a serious ailment but I was crushed by the news that I would not be continuing on the adventure that I started eighteen months ago when I filled out my first application form.

It is difficult to deal with these painful emotions and feelings but it is far better to embrace them rather than to let them bottle up inside of you and fester on and on. I would have loved to continue the good work that I was doing and to finish the job that I had signed up for. Unfortunately, life has other plans for me and I am willing to embrace the challenges that lie ahead. Luckily, we live in a world where there are plenty of opportunities and possibilities available to those of us who are willing to work hard and to use our knowledge.

Clearly, I am not the only person to ever suffer setbacks and misfortunes. Many exemplary leaders and icons of history were unsuccessful in their initial hopes and dreams before greatness found them later on in their lives. The 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, had many personal misfortunes and professional failures happen to him before he became elected to the highest office in the land. He lost lovers and family members, failed in business, was defeated multiple times for elected office, and dealt with mental health struggles all throughout his life.

However, he never gave up because he knew what he was worth, had faith in himself and his abilities. He displayed a strong intellect and a strong drive to be great. President Lincoln had a lasting impact on my country and the world. This would not have been possible if he had simply given up when he encountered all of these adversities and disappointments. His story is a continual inspiration for me and for others who have been dealt a personal or professional blow to their lives.

How would our world be different today if inventors like Edison had given up after his 900th try at inventing the lightbulb or if geniuses like Einstein had listened to those teachers / headmasters who told him that he was lazy, dumb, and not worth the effort? If you don’t have confidence or don’t believe in yourself, you are not going to get very far in life.

While it’s pleasant to have other people think highly of you and give you praise, there will be other times where they’ll tell you that you’re not good enough and that you don’t belong there. If there is anything that I want the readers of this blog post to realize is that you can’t let anybody else stand in the way of your goals and dreams. They may have good intentions and think that they know what’s best for you but you have to decide that for yourself.

When I was younger, I was naïve to think that everything would go smoothly in my life and that I could control every outcome. Especially after what happened to me recently, I know that this notion is unrealistic. There are certain aspects of your life that you have some control over and there are other aspects that are completely out of your control. I do not regret the past nine weeks that I spent in Colombia, and I am proud of the good work that I was doing. I am happy for my fellow CII-8 trainees and wish them all the best as they become volunteers and move on to their communities for the next two years of service. I was grateful for the opportunity and have some good memories from this experience that I will remember fondly.

The future is unclear at the moment but I look forward to the opportunities and possibilities that lay ahead. I know that I will continue to write and develop this personal blog that I started eight months ago. I believe that there are many adventures that lie ahead for me in my life. I will continue to have faith in myself and my abilities. Dealing with this particular adversity will make me a stronger and more mature person in the long run. I have a strong mind, a strong body and I am confident that I will get through this momentary setback. Your past does not define you and the future is yours for the taking. Always remember that.

Self-Sufficiency

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“If Aristotle is wrong about this, then I don’t want to be right.”

Self-sufficiency: “Able to supply one’s own or its’ own needs without external assistance.” (Noun – Dictionary.com)

Overlooked and misunderstood by many, the concept of self-sufficiency is important for realizing one’s potential as a person and for achieving true independence and maturity. Especially for those of us including myself whom are going through the 20’s, this is a period in our lives where we must rely on ourselves first for our success and prosperity before we reach out to others for help. I believe that it’s natural to ask for the mental and emotional support from your friends and family but there comes a time in a man and woman’s life where they must strike it out on their own and attempt to realize their self-sufficiency.

For different people, being self-sufficient could mean different things. It could be paying off your student loans or enrolling in a trade school to learn skills in order to become more employable. For others, it could be owning/renting your first apartment (without roommates), shopping and/or growing your own food, and changing a flat tire / getting your oil changed. Millennials are often criticized as the ‘Peter Pan’ generation considering that we come back to live with our parents after college in order to save money. I can’t say that this is a good trend but it is mostly due to a tough economy and a lack of good job opportunities, especially for those who were affected by the ‘Great Recession’ of 2007-2009 and still are to this day.

Rather than being discouraged and dismayed by the recent economic troubles affecting our generation, it is important to realize the opportunities that are out there. For realizing opportunities and achieving self-sufficiency in different areas, the Internet is perhaps the greatest tool out there for changing your future. We are quite lucky in that it is incredibly easy and free to access an almost infinite amount of information, both educational and informative, that can change our course in life if you are able to do the research and put the work in.

I can honestly say that learning self-sufficiency is vital in this day and age. Being able to take care of your body, your mind, your apartment/house, your car are all-important to be a fully functioning adult. In addition, managing and developing your finances, having healthy relationships, working successfully with co-workers, clients, and bosses are all steps on the path to self-sufficiency.

Most people stumble into ‘adulthood’ and will fail to become self-sufficient in their lives and suffer negative emotional and psychical health as a result. Resolve to yourself that you will take the steps necessary to become a mature adult who can take care of business and be able to function in society.

A lot of the problems and maladies of society originate from a lack of self-sufficiency and a heavy reliance on others (friends, family, and neighbors) to help them out continuously. I mentioned before that mental, emotional support from others including friends and family is necessary and even should be encouraged. However, don’t rely on others as a crutch because the people in your life won’t be there forever. They love you and want you to succeed in life but it is your job to make it happen. Your family and friends can’t hold your hand and walk you through every problem and setback you will experience. It is a common fact of wisdom that life will beat you down and keep you there if you let it. Achieving self-sufficiency in the necessary areas of life will make you happier, stronger, more resilient, and a better person overall.

Once you become self—sufficient and confident in your abilities, it is natural that you might want to share this with another person such as a wife, husband, and children. That is a reflection of your realization that you have become a full adult and can handle the responsibilities of helping future generations to become self-sufficient as well. Even if you do not marry or have kids, it’s possible to impact others and lead them down the road to self-sufficiency as well. Mentoring young people, being a leader in the community, and encouraging others to succeed can help lead others down the path of self-sufficiency as well.

After achieving self-sufficiency in your life, you can truly focus on the hobbies and interests that challenge and stimulate you. Human beings thrive in life when we conquer both internal and external challenges. Learning an instrument, studying a foreign language, dedicating yourself to a project at work or at home, or achieving mastery in different subjects are all great ways to keep yourself stimulated and happy.

People become unhappy when all they do is consume and don’t do anything to make themselves better. When all you do is watch TV and films but don’t know how to make them, or eat at fine restaurants but don’t know how to cook the food itself, and listen to music without knowing how to play an instrument or how its’ actually produced. Becoming self-sufficient is a result of handling the struggles and challenges of life with confidence and resolve.

In addition, having hobbies and interests in the pursuit of continuous knowledge and wisdom is extremely important to becoming a whole person. Anxiety, depression, and other issues manifest themselves when people can’t take care of themselves mentally, physically, and emotionally. Don’t be one of those people. Work hard to become a mature and capable adult in our society. I promise that you won’t regret it.

The Beauty of Magdalena

Location: Magdalena Department, Colombia.

Photos taken with the iPod Touch, 6th Generation.

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The Ripple Effect

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Which chocolate will you decide to choose?

Throughout the course of our lives, actions and events occur that we don’t see coming or have little control over. While these small events and actions seem unimportant at the time, their results continue to spread and manifest in changing things about yourself, and your path in life. This is known as the ‘Ripple Effect’, and is often overlooked by certain people who refuse to recognize that actions have consequences and what we say or do now has lasting effects on who we will become in the future.

The most famous example signifying the ‘Ripple Effect’ is when drops of water or other objects, fall into a larger pool of water causing ‘ripples’ to manifest themselves while affecting the initial state and changing its physical makeup. Similar in overall meaning to the ‘Ripple Effect’ is the ‘Butterfly Effect’ and also the ‘Domino Effect’ often cited in sociological terminology.

The older you get, the more you realize that certain things in life are going to be outside your control. Some people refuse to recognize this fact and try to direct and manage everything in life to prevent any surprises, twists, or turns that will come your way. However, this approach is a recipe for disaster because it is a fact that we cannot control everything that happens to us and that it is pointless to try to do so.

I don’t want to turn this into a “Predestination v. Free Will” debate because that is too black and white for a world that has a lot of grey matter. If you had asked me about the concepts ‘Free Will’, ‘Destiny’, and ‘Fate’ when I was ten years younger, I would have said that I have complete control over my life and that my destiny is totally in my hands. At my current age and the older I get, I believe that it is a intertwining mix of destiny and your own will that sees you through both the highs and lows of life.

From my own personal experiences, especially as I enter my mid-20’s, there have been many unexpected occurrences that have changed my life in different ways which would have been unimaginable to me in the past. I never would have thought that I would become an ESL teacher, move overseas and travel to different countries, and change my career path for the time being. There are cities that I have visited, cool experiences that I have had, and lessons that I have learned about life that would not have had happened had I stayed in the same town, kept my first job after college, and not gone out of my way to meet new people, make new friends.

It’s occurred to me now more than ever that we should not plan for everything in the future because the future is not up to us and life can throw unexpected curveballs when we least expect it. Instead of ‘cursing our fate’ and ‘falling into gloom and doom’ about the things we cannot control: (job security, natural disasters, deaths of family and friends), we should make an effort to change what we can control to benefit out lives: (relationships, where we live, and our physical and mental health.)

‘Free Will’ for human beings is limited as is ‘Pre-Destination.’ I would like to believe that I have some control over my life and the direction(s) it can take. However, I cannot change anything about my past and I am limited in what I can do about my future. Do not feel totally helpless about your future because you still have the power of decision-making, reasoning, and foresight, which can help you with your personal and professional goals.

It’s much easier to be angry at the world and to curse about the wrongs that have been committed against you but it won’t do much to make you feel better or to improve your future. Instead of feeling powerless, take charge and do your best with what you have now. Make every day a chance to improve yourself in some way so that your future will be a little bit brighter than before.

Never give up, and if challenges and set-backs come your way, meet them head-on and have the resolve to face them given your previous experiences in life. As was once said famously by the character, Forrest’s mother, in the critically acclaimed film, Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest, you never know what you’re going to get.” Even if you get a bad chocolate every now and then, there will still be plenty more to choose from.

The Conundrum of Choice

Life can be a lot like a cereal aisle sometimes. Too many choices, and not enough time.
Life can be a lot like a cereal aisle sometimes. Too many choices, and not enough time.

No other mental task can be so challenging and exhausting yet invigorating as making a choice. The concept of “Choice” is a behavioral process that we each undergo hundreds of times each day and they can either be the most routine, mundane of decisions to be made or those that are very rare and of great importance. These choices that we make can either have the most immediate or long-term impacts on our lives.

I tend to sometimes naively overlook how important choice is in determining one’s destiny or fate in life. As human beings, we make so many choices each day that it’s difficult to discern from what’s valuable to what really doesn’t matter in the grander scheme of things. This also plays into one’s individual perception of what is and what isn’t important in life, which is a long debate that should be left for another thinker. I was walking through the local grocery store going through the vast, tall aisles and felt completely overwhelmed.

Who knew that choosing cereal these days could come with so many options to choose from? I was completely flummoxed at first and ended up just placing a random cereal in my cart out of frustration and bewilderment. This is an example of a choice that really is quite basic when you think of it but may have had it’s importance overstated since there are now more choices than ever.

Clearly, most people in this world today do not have access to these many choices as we do here in the United States and other developed countries but it makes you think that we should be lucky for all the choosing we get to do on a daily basis. We should not take for granted in our society how many choices we do have and how many decisions we can make as independent people who have the freedom to make these kinds of decisions.

 Many people living in the world today have very limited options and are unable to make choices because they are not allowed to or do not have the option to. Next time, you’re meandering in the cereal aisle for perhaps a bit longer than you should, think about the weight of this choice and whether or not it is worth the time or the effort because there are many other choices to be made throughout the day and they may be a bit more important than “Fruity Pebbles or Cheerio’s?”