Author: Ben W.

Hello, I am an Entrepreneur in Online Education focusing on English as a Second Language Studies. I offer online courses and eBooks on English grammar, Business English, and English writing. I also recently released my first personal development guide. You can find all of these offerings below and please sign-up for updates to come! Thanks.

Musee d’Orsay

After nine years since my last trip to Paris, I returned in the Summer of 2024 to enjoy some sights like Musee d’Orsay but also for the Summer Olympics!

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Musee d’Orsay, Paris, France

Does He or She or It Spark Joy for You?

“Just like keeping a clean house or organizing your closet is what helped American homeowners create joy in their home lives, I fully believe Kondo’s asking of “does it spark joy?” can be reframed for our friendships, relationships, and our hobbies.”

I’ll be honest in that I never really watched Marie Kondo’s famous show, “Tidying Up”, and while I do respect her commitment to reducing clutter and helping hoarders get rid of their extra junk, I am going to focus more on who or what sparks joy for you beyond just household items. Just like keeping a clean house or organizing your closet is what helped American homeowners create joy in their home lives, I fully believe Kondo’s asking of “does it spark joy?” can be reframed for our friendships, relationships, and our hobbies.

You should never want to exert too much effort into someone or something that doesn’t provide ‘joy’ or at least ‘contentedness’ and while ‘joy’ like any feeling is ephemeral, we should work to maximize the ‘joy’ we feel in life. If you are not getting that ‘joy’ at all from that relationship, that friend, or that job, you got to do some soul searching to see if it’s worth the effort involved to keep it going. You can’t choose your family, your coworkers, or even where you live at times so instead of finding ‘joy’ only there, find those things and people that are voluntarily in your life and where you can better evaluate if they are worth your time.

If you find you are spending your limited time with people who are as dull as dishwater or are even putting you down, you need to cast them aside like old clothes that Marie Kondo would want you to discard from your closet. Now, this does not mean being mean, cutting off contact without a reason, or just straight up ending on bad terms, it’s rather about letting them know that the relationship, the friendship, or the hobby you’re doing isn’t worth the effort anymore. Very few things in life are permanent and if it does not spark any kind of joy for you, you should not keep pursuing it to no fulfilling end.

Instead, I believe it is key to find those people or those activities that continue to give you some joy or happiness. I would classify it as giving you a ‘real shot of life’ and making you feel more alive. It’s not an easy thing to be conscientious of but you’ll often know when someone or something is breathing life into you rather than leaving you drained of it.

Not everything or everyone you interact with in life will give you that ‘spark of joy’ or a ‘shot of life’ but your job is to work hard in those interactions that you do control such as a friendship or a relationship to choose wisely and to do so discerningly. Your boss or your tax attorney is rarely going to spark that ‘joy’ but you’re going to have to interact with them regardless because it’s necessary in life. What you can do instead in your free time is to maximize ‘joy’, ‘happiness’ or just ‘fulfillment’ with people, places, and hobbies that make you feel most alive.

It really is a rare thing in our technologically driven, profit maximizing, socially shallow, and standardized daily routine to find those people who leave a big impression on you, but you got to put yourself out there to receive those kinds of connections. Build a life around trying to find interesting people who inspire you, who make you laugh, who you want to learn from, who you enjoy being around, and for you to be the same to them.

Life is too short to be around ‘joyless’ people who you could choose not to be around instead and to commit yourself to prioritizing those people who make you happy or joyful because of how they make you feel. The same can be said of those activities, hobbies, or interests that brighten your day and that you can look forward to. Routine in adulthood is monotonous, contrite, and not joyful, but you can still find those moments, those hobbies, and those people who make your life that much richer and more colorful.

At the end of the day, Marie Kondo had it right. Joy should be the filter through which we decide what stays and what goes in our life. The difference is that life’s clutter isn’t just found in closets or drawers of hoarders whose houses are too full; rather, it’s in the people we chase, the jobs we keep, and the habits we cling to long after they’ve stopped serving us. Maybe the real act of tidying up isn’t just folding shirts; it’s clearing out the emotional junk that keeps us from feeling alive and fulfilled. When you ask yourself what sparks joy as Marie Kondo does to her clients, don’t stop at your wardrobe or your closet. Ask it instead about your world, your personal life, your hobbies and don’t be afraid to get rid of the extra clutter.

Chateau Soutard

One of the biggest vineyards in the Bourdeaux wine growing region of France: Chateau Soutard was a delightful winery to visit on a trip to France in the Summer of 2024.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Chateau Soutard; Saint-Émilion, Gironde, France

What It Really Means to Be a True Friend

“Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.”

People tend to throw the word ‘friend’ around a lot especially when you may be desperate or wanting to have a new ‘friend’ come into your life. It is natural to want to build rapport with someone and to do so quickly. It is good to have someone want to spend time with you and get to know you are. When you are short on friends or when friends you know have moved on to a different town, city, or country, you want to work on replacing those lost or far away friendships that you used to have.

Especially as you get older, friends move away, get married, have children, and it can be hard to keep those friendships the same or keep them alive in a meaningful away. Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.

Unless the bonds you have are broken or ruptured due to any kind of factor, which does happen in life, you will still have your friends to pick up the connection again despite factor of distance or life circumstances. A friendship that has been established for years or decades doesn’t ever fully go away but you both must work to keep in touch to keep the flame alive into the future. Friendships do fade away, and you or the other person may not be getting what you need to keep it going. It can be sad to let go of a friendship especially when you invest the time, the emotions, and the money spent to keep it alive, but that is just part of life.

We have a tendency in American culture to form friendships at a dizzying pace or want to have someone as a friend quickly to ensure our own need for popularity or for social status. Other cultures tend to be slower in establishing those tight social connections or friendships, but once you do, you have a friend for life, or you have a true friend under a separate kind of category that should be reserved for a few friends and not for many connections or acquaintances.

Yes, we do throw around the word ‘friend’ a lot and too quickly. However, you should be wary of entrusting people who you consider ‘friends’ without feeling out how much that friendship entails. When I think of the meaning of a ‘true friend’, it is deeper than getting drinks every now and then or meeting up to play a sport or do an activity, it is someone who you can share both the good and the bad in your life and they can do the same with you. You don’t have to reveal your whole life story or be exhaustive about it, but a true friend is someone for whom you can be vulnerable with. A true friend won’t judge you for looking for their help, advice, or let you vent to them every now and then.

There are also several kind and thoughtful gestures a friend would do for you whereas an acquaintance or social connection would not. When you need to move and you’re free to lend a helping hand with the furniture, that is a true friend in action. If you need a ride to and from the airport and they don’t mind it even when it’s a little out of the way, that is a true friend. If you need a place to sleep or ‘crash’, and you would rather not splurge for a hotel room, a true friend will offer you their coach or a spare bedroom.

Now, there are two sides to any friendship so keep in mind that if they are willing to do that for you, you should try to do the same for them if the need arises. It is not being transactional but it’s remembering that any true friendship needs effort from both people, and it is good to look out for another especially in an increasingly isolated and technologically driven world. Our phone or our computer or our AI chat tool will never be a replacement for a true friend who is a real person, one whom you can share stories with, help each other with advice, and lend a hand to you when you are in need. Now, you can still drink, eat, play sports, or hang out with a ‘friend’, but if that friend isn’t someone who you can confide in, discuss life and its happenings, or be there for each other, it’s not a deep friendship or can be a bit shallow.

True friendships in my view take years or even decades to foster so while it’s good to try to make new friends, don’t neglect the older friendships you have that can be revived or don’t be too quick to trust someone without giving the friendship time to bloom and see if you both are compatible in the long-run. I would rather have five ‘true friends’ than a hundred or more ‘friends’ who don’t really know me, care about me, or for whom we are close enough to help each other out or just look out for each other.

Friendships are like relationships, though platonic in nature, they are just as important to foster in a healthy manner and that both people are contributing to it. You can start off just as acquaintances but if you’re putting in the time, trying on each side, and growing deeper as friends over the months and years, instead of staying in the shallow subjects, you really are building the ‘true friendships’ that survive time, distance, and other challenges.

Even if you’re married, or have children, or are busy at work, you also need friends and healthy friendships so keep trying to create them, build them, and be a good friend to others in your life. Remember to have quality friendships over the quantity of them as having a few friends for life is much better than have 100 friends who will drop you in a few months because you couldn’t keep up with their lifestyle or their demands or their ‘image.’ True friendship is missing someone when they’re gone and looking forward to the day when you can rekindle the friendship anew.

Saint-Émilion

A pleasant and fulfilling visit to one of France’s great wine growing regions just an hour outside of Bordeaux in southwestern France. A Sideways movie sequel kind of day drinking good wine with nice food on a sunny Summer day.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Saint-Émilion, Gironde, France

Earth Before Mars – Why Humanity Must Solve Today’s Crises First

“We continue to dream about colonizing Mars and visiting the Moon again while ignoring the rising Oceans and hungry mouths here on Earth.”

We continue to dream about colonizing Mars and visiting the Moon again while ignoring the rising Oceans and hungry mouths here on Earth. I read a recent headline that summed this contrast up for me when it was reported that ‘record heat of 2024 triggered a surge in sea level rise’, which is a headline that should give us all some pause going forward as Earth is and will remain our only place in the universe that is habitable for the foreseeable future. Still, we push forward with satellite launches, planned manned missions to the Moon and Mars, and developing other capabilities in the space realm.

Now, I have no issue with organizations and companies that seek to reach the next frontier of Space and there are real benefits for science and technology along with fomenting further international cooperation in this area. However, it is worrisome when we take our collective eye off the ball regarding real man-made issues that we have yet to solve here on Planet Earth that either are lacking attention entirely or continue to get worse (climate, poverty / inequality, wars, famine, etc.) Humanity should always dream big and continue to push ourselves forward intellectually. It is good to devote oneself to a mission when it involves curiosity, knowledge, and progress.

Space travel, universal Internet access (via Starlink, for example), breakthroughs with artificial intelligence, developing the cities of the future, etc. At the same time, we should not risk ignoring or downplaying the real urgent problems in front of us, of which there are many left unsolved. Progress matters and that has been the case throughout human history, but survival, justice, and shared prosperity should be first and foremost in terms of our priorities going forward.

There has been a trend in recent years towards apathy or not putting enough resources to end hunger, homelessness, or poverty in favor of space travel for the privileged few, colonizing planets including Mars where life, more than likely, cannot be sustained there, and mining asteroids and planets for crucial minerals and other resources of interest. There’s nothing wrong with romanticizing exploration beyond Earth and dreaming of what future generations could achieve beyond our planet one day.

Still though, that day is many decades or centuries away and right now, Planet Earth needs more of our attention than those faraway planets and solar systems. Those of great wealth, popularity, fame, and notoriety are pouring more money and resources to interplanetary dreams for themselves (most likely) rather than helping their fellow man or woman who could use their help instead. Some of the wealthy and privileged in our society seem to be hypnotized increasingly about seeking out these distant dreams rather than being part of the solutions here on Earth.

We need a reality check for everyone, including those of superior means, that there are major issues on our planet that are not going away and are getting worse in recent headlines. Whether it is climate change, wealth inequality, political instability, crumbling infrastructure, possible pandemics, wars and conflict, these are the primary issues that should capture all our attention. If we cannot make Earth a livable, sustainable, and safe place for future generations, then we do not deserve to leave the planet to colonize other planets nor set foot on Mars to begin with. All of these issues on Earth are solvable still in my view but we have to keep creating attention to these different yet interconnected problems, and to me, it is not a question of money or resources, as if we have enough money for manned missions to Mars in 5 years then there is no reason why we can’t eliminate poverty or hunger on this planet first.

Prioritizing our present and future on Earth is also not anti-progress for humanity. I am not against dreaming big or for resources to go to space travel. However, it’s about sequencing our collective priorities better going forward. Before we build a new boat, let us fix the leaks in the current boat before we sink and must abandon ship for that new boat.

There is not just innovation to be found in this current space race but I do believe also that solving present issues can accelerate innovation here on Earth. Whether it’s AI tools leading to new health cures, developments in clean energy technology building new industries here, or eliminating hunger allowing children to learn better, retain more information, and create more educated professions to solve the next challenges here on Earth. Humanity must handle survival, stability, prosperity, and justice for our baser levels before we move on to higher-level pursuits, similarly to ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ on a planetary scale.

We are not just dealing with one or two current issues on a humanity scale right now. I can name at least five major issues that are still unresolved and are either stagnating in terms of progress or getting worse currently.

  1. Climate Change & Environmental Collapse – the most existential issue of our time and a threat to all life on the planet, more immediate mitigation is needed and on a scale of global effort to avoid the worst kind of consequences that are likely to happen in my lifetime.
  2. Global Inequality and Poverty – Billions of people still lack clean water, enough food, or a basic education, and we have the money available on the planet to solve these challenges, yet our financial capital is being spent towards other dreams like space travel.
  3. Conflict and Authoritarianism – Recent conflicts or wards along with rising political extremism threaten to destabilize humanity’s future and saps our ability to come together to solve these other problems on my list. We also run the risk of turning against each other rather than rallying our resources together to solve issues on a global scale.
  4. Public Health and Pandemics – COVID-19 showed us all the importance of pandemic preparedness, investing in science and research, and establishing early warning systems to alert the public when a pandemic takes hold. Are we prepared for another pandemic? I am not so sure and believe this is an area where more collective action is needed.
  5. Infrastructure and Governance – Crumbling systems whether its infrastructure, health care, schools, or other vulnerable institutions that fail us leave nations and peoples behind and causes inequality to grow among us. Investing in our collective futures starts with investing in our public systems in different areas so that each of us is given the best chance to succeed and contribute to society.

There is a cost to ignoring or downplaying the issues of today because we will eventually be paying for them in the future. Runaway climate change, more wars, growing inequality, dysfunctional public institutions will all impose a heavy burden on us here on Earth and technological dreams become pointless if society stagnates, ruptures, or collapse beneath the sheer weight of these issues. Space travel isn’t so great when nobody can afford to go, the Earth the astronauts come back to isn’t so pleasant, or when there’s no money to continue funding the dream because other issues became so severe, space travel couldn’t be afforded anymore. A colony on Mars won’t help any of us if we can’t figure out how to keep power grids running here or how to keep our cities from flooding from further projected sea level rise.

Let’s continue to invest in space exploration because of what good it can do for humanity but let us also not sacrifice fixing the problems here on Earth not yet solved because we want to colonize Mars or other planets. We should weigh better as a society our collective priorities and how much funding, talent, and attention we will give to our problems here on Earth vs. our future dreams on a planet far, far away.

Governments, businesses, and individuals can each play a role by changing our priorities to focus first on fixing the problems of today rather than solely focusing on the dreams of tomorrow. We should continue to vote for leaders who prioritize our current Earthly issues, participate civically in helping to draw attention to these issues, and live sustainably to start to shift attention and resources to these issues that I’ve highlighted, which affect all of us today, whether directly or indirectly.

If we devote ourselves to fixing Earth today and into the future, we won’t just survive, we will then be strong enough to reach for the stars while comfortably knowing that we have a thriving and prosperous planet that our astronauts would be returning to, with their heads held high. Ask yourself this question too: what is the one issue of our time that you can help fix today, before we start building the future on another planet many years from now? I think you’ll find that we have more power and influence than we think and that our actions today will inspire others to also act in shaping a better planet where we can both live out our days here and still dream of a space-bound future one day for generations to come.

Grande Dune du Pilat (The Great Dune of Pilat)

Enjoyed a visit to one of France’s most visited natural destinations, which is the highest and largest sand dunes in Europe. Photos taken in July of 2024 during my visit there.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Dune du Pilat; Arcachon, France

A Mixture of English and Spanish Poems #1 (September 2025)

My first post regarding English and Spanish language poems together as I wanted to do a mixture of them in this edition of my poetry.

English Language Poems:

  1. The Sands of Time
    Can you feel it slip through your fingers?
    The grains of sand whisked away.
    Moments frozen in time;
    The places you remember being present,
    The times you felt fully alive,
    The smells that made up your lifetime.
    But the memories now have faded away.
    Can you embrace the sands of time?

___________________________

2. Cravings
It’s only natural,
The burning desires,
Mind, body, and soul.
Scratching that itch,
Placating that urge.
Keep it in moderation;
Don’t let it destroy you.
Remember: you’re only human.
Desire is the flame that ignites us.

___________________________

3. A Mile Wide, An Inch Deep
Face down, eyes unaware,
Nosedive into fake consciousness.
Blank-faced, artificial realities.
Lost connections thrown asunder,
Stagnant friendships, hollow ties.
You’ve spread yourself too thin across reality;
Living life a mile wide, and an inch deep.

___________________________

Spanish Language Poems:

  1. Es un gusto
    Es un gusto conocerte por primera vez.
    Es un gusto tenerte en mi vida.
    Es un gusto verte de nuevo.
    Es un gusto besarte en la noche.
    Es un gusto darte placer y amor día a día.
    Es un gusto pensarte todo el tiempo.
    Es un gusto quedarme contigo hasta el día final.

____________________________

2. Solo en mis sueños
¿Podría ser quien yo quiero ser?
Veo nuevas posibilidades,
Nuevas formas de vivir.
¿Podría hacer ese sueño realidad?
Soy un aspirante en mis sueños.
No hay nada que no pueda hacer,
Solo en mis sueños podría ser realmente libre.

Arcachon, France

A daytime summer visit and stroll through the southwestern seaside town known as Arcachon, France, with a beautiful beach, great mussels, and friendly people.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Arcachon, France

“Don’t Look Back In Anger”, A Lyric and Life Lesson

“Don’t look back in anger, I heard you say.” Few lyrics from the 1990s have aged as gracefully as this one has from Oasis. It’s more than just a line from the Oasis anthem sung brilliantly by lead singer Noel Gallagher, it’s a mantra and a life lesson disguised as a rock chorus, and a call to stop letting yesterday’s pain and sorrow weigh down tomorrow’s joy.”

“Don’t look back in anger, I heard you say.” Few lyrics from the 1990s have aged as gracefully as this one has from Oasis. It’s more than just a line from the Oasis anthem sung brilliantly by lead singer Noel Gallagher, it’s a mantra and a life lesson disguised as a rock chorus, and a call to stop letting yesterday’s pain and sorrow weigh down tomorrow’s joy.

When Noel Gallagher wrote “Don’t Look Back in Anger,” it was meant as a stadium singalong, but the phrase itself has outlived its Britpop origins from the 1990s. It’s been sung at concerts, football matches, and even vigils, most notably after the tragic Manchester Arena bombing in 2017. In moments of grief or frustration or malaise, people cling to words that help them move forward, and this one delivers in just five simple words that we all can relate to.

Beyond popular cultural and music history, what does this lyric mean for the way we live our lives? For anyone who’s been mistreated, overlooked, or hurt by other people, whether at work, in love, or by life in general, intentionally or unintentionally, it’s a reminder not to stay stuck in bitterness because of how you have been wronged. Because anger or being angry forever, if you let it, will make a home in your chest and eat away at your peace of mind.

Life isn’t always fair; we all know that fact from a young age. You might work hard only to have a work colleague promoted over you who didn’t deserve it. You might trust someone like a friend who lets you down or lies about you to other people. You might pour yourself into a relationship that ends with betrayal. The gut reaction in these moments is anger and honestly, it’s justified. Anger is the body’s alarm system, telling us something wrong has happened to you.

The problem is what happens next and, in the days, months, and years that follow the event. Anger is useful for a moment, and we should be allowed to feel that emotion rather than bottle it up entirely, but corrosive over time. It tempts you to replay every slight, to act out, to rehearse every insult, and cling to grudges like they’ll somehow make the scales of justice even. Anger keeps you bound to the people and situations you want freedom from and to be free of mentally.

That’s why this song lyric hits so hard. “Don’t look back in anger” doesn’t mean “forget what happened.” It means instead to don’t let your gaze stay fixed on the wreckage. You’ve got to keep walking and moving forward, because the road ahead is always longer than the one behind.

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts out there in life. People often think it means excusing someone’s behavior or giving them another chance to hurt you again. This is not true at all. Forgiveness is less about them and more about you, it’s a decision to release your grip on your anger so you can move forward in life and to move your emotions on from that person.

Think of it this way metaphorically: carrying anger is like holding a burning coal. Yes, it’s hot, and yes, it proves you were hurt. But the longer you clutch it, the more damage it does to you, not to the person who wronged you, but to you alone. To not look back in anger doesn’t mean inviting mistreatment to happen again. Boundaries are still vital and it’s best to get away from the person(s) who wronged you in the first place. You can forgive someone and still choose never to deal with them again. The difference is whether you carry that heavy emotional baggage with you on the road forward while not ever letting it go.

How do you live the lyric you might ask? Here are a few ways to start doing so today:

  1. Reflect, then release: Acknowledge what happened to you and how it made you feel. Then, consciously decide to stop replaying it. Journaling or talking it out can help you.
  2. Redirect your energy: Instead of fueling resentment, pour that fire into something constructive like playing music, writing, going traveling, or even doing physical exercise.
  3. Build stronger boundaries: Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. Learn from the mistreatment you received and protect yourself from it in the future.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Often, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for trusting, caring, or trying with that person who wronged you. Recognize that those qualities are strengths, not weaknesses and to not give up on trusting others entirely.

What makes this song lyric timeless and still relevant in 2025, especially as Oasis is touring the world again and playing this song each time, is its dual simplicity and power. Everyone has something they regret or someone they resent from their past. Everyone carries scars from unfair treatment whether from work, from family, or from supposed ‘friends.’ However, “Don’t look back in anger” doesn’t ask for perfection, it asks for direction in going forward and leaving the anger behind.

Even three decades later since Noel Gallagher first put this famous song lyric down on scratch paper, it’s still sung loudly at concerts because it feels good to let it all out. Belting the words is cathartic as I did recently on a warm summer night in New Jersey but living them is transformative. In a world where negativity and hate spreads faster than hope and kindness, this song lyric reminds us to choose the harder, better path: release over revenge, peace over poison.

There’s no sugarcoating it: forgiveness isn’t easy. Sometimes it feels impossible to do. If you’ve ever carried anger long enough like I have in my past, you know how exhausting it is to hold on to. Anger narrows your world; forgiveness widens it again. The lyric, then, becomes less of a suggestion and more of a survival strategy. “Don’t look back in anger” because the future needs you to be free, not bitter and burnt out. “Don’t look back in anger” because life is too short to let someone else’s behavior dictate your happiness. “Don’t look back in anger” because joy requires space in your heart, and anger takes up too much of it and corrodes it slowly.

“Don’t look back in anger, I heard you say.” It’s a simple song lyric, yes, but it’s also timeless advice, true therapy, and a way of living well. Life will hand you plenty of reasons to grow bitter at yourself and at other people, but it will also hand you a thousand opportunities to move forward with forgiveness in your heart.

You can’t change what happened to you and who did it to you. You can’t undo the mistreatment or rewrite the past. Instead, you can decide not to be imprisoned by your anger. You can decide to keep walking, keep building, keep loving, and keep moving forward. In the end, that’s the only way to win. The next time you feel anger weighing you down because of someone or something, ask yourself this question: what would it feel like to finally set it down? You just might find the answer in a song you’ve been singing for years.