The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

The Brilliance of Curb Your Enthusiasm

“Created by and starring the incomparable and legendary Larry David, this groundbreaking television series has left an indelible mark on the landscape of comedic television forever.”

In the realm of television comedy history, few shows have attained the iconic status and enduring brilliance of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Created by and starring the incomparable and legendary Larry David, this groundbreaking television series has left an indelible mark on the landscape of comedic television forever.

From its razor-sharp wit to its unapologetically irreverent humor, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” stands as a testament to the genius of its creator and the unparalleled hilarity of its ensemble cast. In this reflection on the recent 12-season end to this timeless show, I will dive into what makes “Curb Your Enthusiasm” one of the best comedy shows of the current century, examining its societal critiques, witty dialogue usage, and the reasons for the genius behind show creator, Larry David’s success.

At the heart of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” lies its fearless examination of social norms and conventions, some that I would argue as the show does are both outdated and tiresome. Through its biting satire and clever storytelling, the show offers a candid and often uncomfortably honest portrayal of everyday American life. Larry David, known for his role as the co-creator of “Seinfeld,” brings his signature brand of observational humor to “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, presenting audiences with a heightened reality where social etiquette is put under a microscope and hilariously dissected.

One of the show’s defining features is its ability to derive comedy from mundane situations, turning everyday occurrences into laugh-out-loud moments. Whether it’s navigating the intricacies of a dinner party or grappling with the complexities of personal relationships, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” finds humor in the absurdities of human behavior. This relatable quality endears the show to audiences of all backgrounds, as viewers see themselves reflected in Larry David’s misadventures and faux pas.

Central to the success of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” was its groundbreaking use of improvisation. Unlike traditional sitcoms with scripted dialogues, “Curb” relies heavily on improvised performances, giving its actors the freedom to explore their characters, and react in real-time. This unscripted approach lends a unique authenticity to the show’s interactions, allowing for spontaneous moments of comedic brilliance that feel genuine and unrehearsed.

Larry David’s portrayal of himself as a fictionalized version of his persona is nothing short of a genius move. Through his character, also named Larry David, the creator skewers societal norms with fearless abandonment, fearlessly tackling taboo subjects, and challenging conventional wisdom. David’s willingness to embrace discomfort and confront controversial topics head-on sets “Curb Your Enthusiasm” apart from other comedies, elevating it to a league of its own.

The ensemble cast of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” further contributes to its comedic brilliance. From Jeff Garlin’s portrayal of Larry’s loyal but perpetually exasperated manager, Jeff Greene, to Richard Lewis, a fellow comedian dressed in black perpetually and Larry’s comedic foil, to Cheryl Hines’ pitch-perfect performance as Larry’s long-suffering wife, Cheryl, each actor brings their A-game to the show, delivering performances that are equal parts hilarious and heartwarming. The chemistry between each of the cast members is palpable, lending an authenticity to their interactions, which was essential to the show’s long-lasting success.

Beyond its comedic brilliance, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is also notable for its incisive social commentary. Through its satirical lens, the show tackles issues of race, religion, politics, relationships, friendships, and more, offering a searing critique of contemporary American society. Whether it’s exposing the absurdity of political correctness or challenging entrenched stereotypes, “Curb” fearlessly confronts the ‘elephant in the room’, sparking real conversations between its viewers, and provoking a good amount of thought long after the credits roll.

Another hallmark of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is its distinctive dialogue patterns. The show is renowned for its rapid-fire banter and quick-witted repartee, with characters engaging in verbal sparring matches that are as entertaining as they are memorable. Larry David’s penchant for wordplay and linguistic acrobatics infuses the show’s dialogue with a playful energy, keeping audiences on their toes, and delighting in every clever turn of phrase.

Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is the way in which it blurs the lines between reality and fiction. Larry David’s decision to play a fictionalized version of himself blurs the boundaries between the actor and the character, inviting viewers to question where the line between truth and fiction truly lies with regards to if Larry behaves as his character, Larry will do. This meta-narrative device adds an additional layer of complexity to the show’s storytelling, challenging audiences to discern where reality ends and satire begins.

Larry David’s success in making “Curb Your Enthusiasm” a TV show hit can be attributed to his uncompromising vision and unwavering commitment to his craft as an actor. As both the creator and star of the show, David brings a singular voice to the screen, infusing each episode with his unique perspective and razor-sharp wit. His willingness to push boundaries and defy expectations has earned him a devoted following amongst fans including myself and has cemented his status as one of the most influential figures in comedy history.

“Curb Your Enthusiasm” stands as a timeless masterpiece of television comedy, a show that continues to resonate with audiences more than two decades after its initial debut. Through its fearless satire, impeccable improvisation, and incisive social commentary, “Curb” offers a refreshing take on the human condition, challenging conventions, and sparking a lot of genuine laughter in equal measure. With its brilliant writing, unforgettable characters, and fearless exploration of society’s taboo subjects, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” has rightfully earned its place as one of the comedy shows of this young century, leaving an indelible mark on the world of television, and inspiring countless imitators in its wake.

Larry David’s previous successful show, “Seinfeld”, and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” are often mentioned in the same breath, given their shared DNA through David’s involvement. While both shows explore the intricacies of human behavior and social conventions, they do so through distinct lenses. “Seinfeld” operates within the confines of a traditional situational comedy or ‘sitcom’ format, with scripted dialogue and episodic storylines centered around four main characters, one of whom, ‘George Costanza’ was based on Larry David’s past experiences living as a younger man in New York City. In contrast, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” eschews traditional sitcom conventions in favor of a more improvisational approach, blurring the lines between reality and fiction with its mockumentary-style presentation.

Despite these differences, the two shows share a common thread in their exploration of the minutiae of everyday life. Both “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” derive humor from the absurdity of human behavior, finding comedy in the mundane and the trivial. However, where “Seinfeld” often relies on situational humor and elaborate plotlines, “Curb” thrives on its characters’ interactions and spontaneous moments of hilarity that arise from their social faux pas. In considering which of the two shows may be perceived as superior to the other, one could argue that “Curb Your Enthusiasm” holds the edge due to its fearless approach to comedy and its willingness to push boundaries.

While “Seinfeld” remains a beloved classic with its timeless humor and iconic characters, “Curb” distinguishes itself through its unapologetically irreverent tone and its willingness to tackle taboo subjects head-on. Additionally, “Curb” benefits from the creative freedom afforded by its HBO platform, allowing for more explicit language and mature themes than its network predecessor. Ultimately, whether one views “Curb Your Enthusiasm” or “Seinfeld” as the better of the two shows may come down to personal preference, but there’s no denying the lasting impact and enduring brilliance of both series in the pantheon of television comedy history. Overall, Curb Your Enthusiasm is a pretty, pretty, pretty good show and one worth watching again and again.

El Yunque National Rainforest

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: El Yunque National Rainforest; San Juan, Puerto Rico

English Corner – Exploring Pronunciation Variations in American English and British English

“From the rhythmic cadences to vowel shifts, each dialect paints a vivid linguistic landscape. Let’s dive into the nuances of pronunciation and phonetics that differentiate and unite American English and British English.”

The English Language, as a living entity, evolves and diversifies across regions and cultures, manifesting in the various dialects that we know today. American English and British English, two prominent branches of the English language, exhibit distinctive phonetic characteristics that reflect their unique historical, cultural, and geographical backgrounds. From the rhythmic cadences to vowel shifts, each dialect paints a vivid linguistic landscape. Let’s dive into the nuances of pronunciation and phonetics that differentiate and unite American English and British English.

One of the most noticeable differences between American and British English lies in the vowel pronunciation. British English often employs a more centralized vowel sound, while American English tends to elongate and broaden the vowels.

For instance, the word “bath” in British English is pronounced with a short ‘a’ sound, like “cat.” In American English, however, it adopts a longer ‘a’ sound, resembling “car.” This phenomenon, known as the “bath-trap split,” highlights the divergence in vowel articulation between the dialects. Similarly, the pronunciation of the vowel in “dance” shows another distinction. British English renders it as a short ‘a,’ while American English elongates it to a ‘diphthong’, resembling the “a-e” sound.

Consonants also contribute to the divergent phonetic landscape of American and British English. Notable differences emerge in the pronunciation of certain consonant clusters and the tendency is for American English to flatten or soften certain sounds.

Consider the word “water.” In British English, the ‘t’ is often pronounced as a glottal stop or a light tap, whereas in American English, it is pronounced more emphatically, with a clear ‘t’ sound. Furthermore, the pronunciation of the ‘r’ sound varies significantly between the dialects. American English tends to emphasize the ‘r’ sound, particularly in words like “car” or “hard,” whereas British English often drops or softens the ‘r’ sound in similar usage.

The rhythmic patterns of speech also contribute to the distinctiveness of American and British English. British English tends to exhibit a more staccato rhythm, characterized by clear pauses between words and phrases. In contrast, American English adopts a more flowing rhythm, with smoother transitions between words.

This contrast is evident in the recitation of poetry or the delivery of speeches. British poets like William Wordsworth often employed a rhythmic structure that accentuates the individuality of each syllable, whereas American poets such as Walt Whitman, prioritize fluidity and continuity in their verses.

Intonation, the rise and fall of pitch in one’s speech, plays a crucial role in conveying both meaning and emotion. While both American and British English utilize intonation to varying degrees, subtle differences exist in the tonal patterns of the dialects British English tends to exhibit a more varied intonation, with rising and falling pitches used to convey questions, statements, and emotions. In contrast, American English often employs a flatter intonation, particularly in certain regions of the country where speech patterns are more monotone.

Despite these disparities, American and British English share several phonetic features rooted in their common linguistic heritage. Both dialects employ stress-timed rhythm, where stressed syllables occur at regular intervals, giving speech a distinctive cadence.

Furthermore, certain consonant sounds, such as ‘p,’ ‘t,’ and ‘k,’ maintain consistent articulation across both dialects. For instance, the pronunciation of the ‘p’ sound in words like “pat” or “portrait” remains largely unchanged in both American and British English.

Moreover, the influence of globalization and emergence of global media sources has led to increased mutual intelligibility between American and British English speakers. As a result, many phonetic distinctions have become less pronounced over time, particularly among the younger generations.

The phonetic differences between American and British English reflect the rich tapestry of linguistic diversity within the English-speaking world. From vowel shifts to rhythmic patterns, each dialect offers a unique melodic variation that reflects its own cultural and historical context.

While these differences contribute to the distinct identity of American English and British English, they also serve as a reminder of the inherent dynamism of a language. As communication transcends borders and cultures, the evolution of English pronunciation continues, creating a vibrant mosaic of linguistic expression.

Mastering the nuances of American or British English pronunciation requires dedicated practice and immersion in the respective dialect. Whether aiming to adopt a specific accent for professional purposes or simply exploring linguistic diversity, students can employ various strategies to hone their pronunciation skills, such as by doing the following:

1. Listen Actively:

Immersing oneself in authentic speech is paramount to understanding and replicating the nuances of American or British English pronunciation. Students can listen to podcasts, watch movies, or tune into news broadcasts from their target dialect. Paying attention to intonation, rhythm, and vowel sounds in natural speech helps internalize the patterns of the desired accent.

2. Mimic Native Speakers:

Practice makes perfect, and mimicking native speakers is an effective way to refine pronunciation skills. Students can mimic the speech patterns of native speakers by repeating phrases, sentences, or entire conversations. Focus especially on replicating the sounds, intonation, and rhythm of the target accent as closely as possible.

3. Utilize Pronunciation Guides:

Online resources and pronunciation guides provide valuable insights into the phonetic differences between American English and British English. Students can refer to dictionaries with audio pronunciations, phonetic transcription tools, or language learning applications that offer interactive pronunciation exercises. These resources often break down pronunciation into individual sounds, making it easier to identify and practice specific phonetic features.

4. Record and Evaluate:

Recording oneself while practicing pronunciation allows for self-assessment, review, and feedback. Students can compare their recordings to native speakers or their pronunciation guides to identify potential areas for improvement. Pay attention to vowel sounds, consonant articulation, and overall intonation, adjusting your pronunciation accordingly.

5. Engage in Conversational Practice:

Practicing pronunciation in a conversational setting provides real-time feedback and helps internalize the accent’s natural flow. Students can engage in language exchange programs, join online discussion forums, or participate in conversation groups with native speakers. Interacting with other native speakers of the dialect allows for dynamic feedback and encourages active engagement with the target accent.

6. Explore Regional Variations:

Both American and British English encompass a diverse array of regional accents and dialects. Students can broaden their understanding of pronunciation by exploring regional variations within their target dialect. By listening to speakers from different regions, you can note variations in vowel sounds, intonation patterns, and lexical differences. Embracing regional diversity enhances linguistic versatility and fosters a deeper appreciation for cultural nuances.

7. Practice Regularly:

Consistency is the key to mastering pronunciation of any dialect. Incorporate pronunciation practice into daily routines, setting aside dedicated time to focus on specific phonetic features. Whether through structured exercises, informal conversation, or passive listening, regular practice reinforces pronunciation skills and facilitates gradual improvement over time.

To conclude, in the pursuit of mastering American English or British English pronunciation, active engagement and consistent practice are paramount. By immersing oneself in authentic speech, mimicking native speakers, utilizing pronunciation guides, recording oneself, and consistently evaluating your progress, engaging in conversational practice, exploring regional variations, and practicing regularly, students can develop a nuanced understanding of their preferred dialect. Ultimately, by embracing linguistic diversity and appreciating the rich tapestry of accents in the English-speaking world, you will be able to both enhance your own communication skills and foster greater cross-cultural understanding.

Castillo San Felipe del Morro

Castillo San Felipe del Morro – San Juan National Historic Site

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: San Juan National Historic Site – Castillo San Felipe del Morro; San Juan, Puerto Rico

Getting Good at Asking Questions

“Asking questions is a fundamental life skill that you should always be improving on. You should be able to ask relevant questions without feeling as if you are imposing on someone.”

Asking questions is a fundamental life skill that you should always be improving on. You should be able to ask relevant questions without feeling as if you are imposing on someone. There are limits to how many questions or what kind of questions we can ask but you won’t know if that question will be answered until you ask it. Most of the time, there is no harm in asking someone a question and seeing what the response will be. I find that it’s often better to have posed the question than not to have asked anything at all.

Unfortunately, I would say that a lot of people are afraid of asking any questions at all. They may not want to cause a stir, fear a reprisal, or feel that their ego would be harmed by asking a question. I can sympathize with these concerns but it’s important to make sure that before agreeing to someone, before signing a document, or verifying a statement, that you ask all relevant questions that come to mind.

I would also argue that asking questions is not only necessary professionally but in your personal life. Being able to know more about your friend(s), your family member(s), and even your romantic partner comes down to asking good questions without overdoing it. It is one thing to be able to ask simple questions, but I would encourage you to get good at asking questions by following a few steps before you ask the question of the other person or of a group of people.

As I mentioned earlier, the question should be relevant to the subject(s) that you are talking about. To give a simple example, if you need to ask someone what their plans are job or career-wise, I could ask them, “what would you like work on in the future?” or “where would you like to work in the future?” I wouldn’t say, “what does the future hold?” or “what will you do?”. You must make the sentence a bit more relevant by expressing that you are asking about ‘work’ specifically and highlighting ‘in the future’ to make sure that you are discussing a future opportunity. The other two questions are too general and do not specify enough that this is about a future job or opportunity. You should also make sure your question focuses on ‘your future’ and not ‘the future’ when asking that person. The other question of “what will you do?” has ‘in the future’ missing from the end where it could be more relevant.

2. Not only should questions be as relevant as possible, but you should avoid having them be open-ended. Similarly to not omitting ‘in the future’ from the end of the question, your question should be more concrete and firmer in what you are asking. Instead of asking someone, for example, “Did you tell the truth?”, it’s too open ended compared with, “Did you tell the truth about what happened at the party?” The person you are questioning may feign ignorance about an open-ended question such as not know what ‘truth’ or ‘true statement’ you are referring to. At the end of the question, you should be specific about what the ‘truth’ pertains to such as ‘the party’, that the person you’re questioning was likely at and can tell you more about it. I believe that when it comes to asking questions, they should be relevant but not be open-ended so the other person will not better what you are asking them about and will find it more difficult to feign ignorance. You only may have one chance to ask the relevant person(s) your question(s) so it’s better that they be as a specific as possible and discuss what the person or people should already have some familiarity with.

3. Lastly, when it comes to getting good at asking questions, make sure you are addressing not just ‘what’ and ‘why’ but to get the full context, including all the -wh question words as well as ‘how’ to add on to it. I believe ‘what’ and ‘why’ to be the most important kinds of question words to use in any question. However, I would recommend not neglecting the chance to have follow up questions if feasible. Those follow up questions you ask should include ‘where’, ‘who’, ‘when’, and ‘how.’ You can also include other ways to ask the question such as ‘for what reason _______’ or ‘for what purpose ______’ as questions can begin in English with ‘for’. If you have just one question to ask, ‘why’ followed by ‘what’ can be used almost interchangeably but are most effective in finding out the person’s reasoning or justification regarding the answer.

Don’t repeat the same kind of questions repeatedly. It is important to mix up your questions involving the question words that you use at the start of the sentence. If you can ask multiple questions, make sure you address each relevant question word with the person you’re asking. You’ll find that you will get more information from them and will get better answers by using each question word. Whether it is reason, explanation, justification, or overall rationale in their answer(s), the various question words can be a large difference in the information you receive as a result. If you are going to ask questions, do not make them the same and vary them each chance you get to achieve better results.

Asking good questions is not easy and there is some skill involved. It is better to ask a question than to not have asked one at all if you take the time to practice. You should want to make sure that you are asking questions generally but ones that are relevant, not too open-ended, more specific, and are also varied in how they are phrased. These key steps will set you apart in terms of the kind of answers you may get. If your questions are vague, irrelevant, open-ended, or too generic, you will likely not get the answers you need, and your professional or personal life may not progress as well as a result.

Like any good life skill, asking good questions will take serious time and effort. Make sure to practice what questions you’ll ask someone before stepping in front of them. Take the time to prepare, write down your questions, analyze them for relevance, and practice with a trusted person before stepping up to ask the actual question. You’ll be glad for the practice in doing so and I think you’ll be much better off as a result when ‘question time’ comes around.

Exploring Old San Juan

Old San Juan

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: Old San Juan; San Juan, Puerto Rico

Being An Active Listener

“I would like to highlight the significance of having active listening skills in contemporary society, its myriad of benefits, its role in fostering respect and empathy for other people, and the pitfalls of distraction in the digital age.”

With the frenzied pace of modern life, where everyone seems to be talking but few are truly listening, the act of active listening has become increasingly crucial to partake in. In a society inundated with seemingly unlimited information and plagued by short attention spans, the ability to listen intently and engage with others through attentive body language has emerged as a rare and invaluable skill, both personally and professionally. I would like to highlight the significance of having active listening skills in contemporary society, its myriad of benefits, its role in fostering respect and empathy for other people, and the pitfalls of distraction in the digital age.

Active listening is more than just hearing words come out of the other person’s mouth; it is about comprehending fully the message being conveyed, acknowledging the speaker’s perspective, and responding thoughtfully when they are done. In a world where communication often takes place through digital screens and abbreviated text messages, genuine human connection can easily be lost, especially when it’s not done face-to-face. However, active listening provides a counterbalance to this growing trend, allowing people to connect on a deeper level and work on building more meaningful relationships.

One of the primary benefits of active listening is the ability to facilitate effective and thorough communication. By listening attentively without interrupting, one can better understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of the other person behind the words spoken. This type of listening comprehension lays the foundation for productive dialogue, enabling participants to exchange ideas, resolve conflicts, and collaborate more effectively. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or in the public discourse, the ability to listen actively fosters mutual understanding and helps to facilitate constructive communication.

Moreover, being an active listener is a sign of respect and shows that you have real empathy towards other people. When we give someone our undivided attention, we convey that their words and experiences are truly valued. This kind of validation not only strengthens interpersonal bonds but also nurtures a sense of belonging and significance. In a society where people often feel isolated and unheard from, the simple act of listening actively can make a profound difference in someone’s life or even just their day. By demonstrating empathy and understanding, active listeners create a supportive and caring environment where individuals feel safe to express themselves authentically.

Additionally, active listening enhances our capacity for empathy and compassion. When we truly listen to others, we gain insight into their emotions, perspectives, and lived experiences. This expanded awareness cultivates empathy, allowing us to relate to others on a deeper level and appreciate the diversity of our individual experiences. Through active listening, we transcend our own preconceptions and biases and open ourselves up to new ideas and perspectives. In doing so, we foster a more inclusive and empathetic society where differences are accepted and acknowledged rather than feared and ignored.

Furthermore, active listening promotes personal growth and self-awareness. By paying attention to the thoughts and feelings that arise within us as we listen to others, we gain valuable insights into our own beliefs, values, and biases. This self-reflection enables us to identify areas for our own personal growth and development, fostering greater self-awareness and more emotional intelligence. Also, by engaging in active listening, we cultivate a habit of mindfulness and presence, allowing us to fully immerse ourselves in the present moment and appreciate the richness of undisturbed human interaction.

In today’s digital age, the temptation to multitask and divide our attention is constant. With smartphones constantly buzzing with notifications and social media feeds demanding our immediate attention, it can be challenging to stay fully present during conversations. However, the consequences of being distracted can be profound, leading to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and damaged relationships and friendships. When we allow ourselves to be distracted by our phones, laptops, tablets, or other devices while interacting with others, we signal that they are not worthy of our full attention. This lack of full presence undermines the quality of the communication involved and diminishes the level of trust and respect between two or more individuals.

While active listening holds immense value, there are certain pitfalls to avoid ensuring its full effectiveness. One common mistake is the tendency to mentally prepare responses while the other person is speaking, rather than fully absorbing their message. This kind of anticipation without thinking can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for genuine connection. Additionally, interrupting or interjecting with personal anecdotes can derail the conversation and detract from the speaker’s unique experience. To mitigate these kinds of challenges, it is essential to cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness during interactions, even if you really have something urgent to add to the conversation.

To avoid this kind of pitfall, you should be actively monitoring your thoughts and impulses, resisting the urge to jump to conclusions or offer unsolicited advice without being asked for it. Instead, you can practice patience and humility, allowing the speaker to express themselves fully before formulating your response. By maintaining open body language and making eye contact, we can signal our engagement and receptivity, encouraging the speaker to continue sharing their uninterrupted thoughts and feelings. When we are being mindful of these potential pitfalls and committing to being an active listener with sincerity and respect, we can foster deeper connections and enrich our friendships and relationships with other people.

Therefore, it is essential to prioritize presence and mindfulness in all your interactions with others. By consciously setting aside any distractions and giving our full attention to the person speaking to us, we demonstrate full respect and consideration for their thoughts and feelings. In addition, by resisting the urge to check our phones or engage in other activities while listening to that person, we create a real space for authentic connection and meaningful dialogue. By doing this, we honor the inherent dignity and worth of every individual, fostering a culture of respect and empathy that they will be able to return in kind if they follow your good example.

Active listening is a key cornerstone of effective communication, respect, and empathy in today’s world. Listening attentively without interrupting, showing engaged body language, thinking up a response until after they’ve finished talking, and giving our full attention to the speaker helps create a foundation for meaningful dialogue and authentic connection, which is becoming increasingly rare. In our society marked by digital distractions and fleeting, shallow interactions, the ability to listen actively is more important than ever to cultivate day-in and day-out. When we embrace the art of active listening, we can foster deeper relationships, cultivate greater empathy and understanding, and create a more compassionate and inclusive world for everyone.

Condado Beach

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: Condado Beach; San Juan, Puerto Rico

Remembering the Basics of Civility

“Beyond these tenets, I think it is important to remember the basics of civility in terms of everyday behavior, which is about establishing boundaries, using good manners, and fully recognizing the other person or people you are dealing with.”

In any society, there’s a thin line between civilization and barbarism. When we are civil with each other, when we say what we mean and when we do what we say, we will be better off for having maintained the basic standards of civility. Without civility, there is no civilization to come from that.

There are many forms of civility and I have written already at length about the need to be honest, truthful, be emotionally mature, and to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Beyond these tenets, I think it is important to remember the basics of civility in terms of everyday behavior, which is about establishing boundaries, using good manners, and fully recognizing the other person or people you are dealing with.

In addition to the rise of anti-social behavior since the pandemic and perhaps on the decline even beforehand, there has also been a lack of civility and poor behavior in public whether it’s with colleagues, strangers, or just another person who you are passing by on the street. Some of the behaviors that reflect a lack of overall civility include not greeting someone formally or informally, not making eye contact, lack of a handshake upon greeting that person(s), and perhaps what would be the most basic is the ability to say ‘hello’ or ‘good morning / afternoon / evening’ when you see someone or meet someone.

Basic greetings form the backbone of any civil society and if you cannot take the time to look up from your phone or laptop or to take 5-10 seconds to acknowledge that person in the language that you both speak, then it makes me wonder if civilized behavior is on a permanent decline, rather than a temporary one. Greetings are more than just communication but it’s a way of ‘seeing’ that person beyond them just being in relative proximity to you. When you say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ or acknowledge them with a formal ‘good morning’ or ‘good afternoon’ in English or in the equivalent of another language, you will make that person feel better. You’re letting them know that you know they are there, that you recognize who they are, and appreciate the fact that you get to see them in some small way.

I would say that in addition to greetings, having good posture, standing up straight, walking with your head held high, not slouching, or putting your feet up on the desk or in front of the person sitting across from you, there are all common ways of maintaining civility and not being disrespectful to yourself and other people around you. It shows not just a lack of respect for yourself but to other people when you cannot maintain eye contact or look them in the eye.

A handshake that is never given when greeting someone now or is lackluster in its firmness or strength also shows a lack of social awareness or respect for having neglected it. If you know the person well enough, giving a hug is not a weird or out of place action and shows that you care for the other person to let them know that. Standing up straight, making eye contact, greeting the person respectfully, giving them your full attention, etc. are all necessary actions to maintain civility before diving into the deeper aspects of maintaining a civilization or a society that is not on the decline in terms of its overall behavior patterns or standards.

Having respect for another person also means getting up for an injured / disabled person, an elderly person, or a pregnant woman if you are on a bus, train, or other public transportation to let them sit down instead of you. Holding the door open for another person is also polite, kind, and a sign that you are not just thinking of yourself and are able to think of other people who need a little bit of help, especially if they could be your neighbor or need aid if they have heavy groceries or may have their hands full. If you really want to maintain classy and dignified behavior, pouring a drink for another person or proposing a toast in their honor or even pulling the chair out for a loved one or a relative is a great way to maintain the civility of our collective behavior that keeps our civilization or general society functioning.

Nobody also likes to have their time wasted regardless of the appointment or meeting whether it’s an interview, a date, a social engagement, or a dinner / lunch outing. Make sure you are on time or a few minutes early, and while this is not universal across cultures, I do think being on time and keeping your word allows for societal advancement and for civilized behavior to flourish. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being 5-10-15 minutes late here and there, but if you don’t apologize or acknowledge your tardiness with even a basic excuse, you are letting the basic values and standards of a society degrade a bit with your lack of awareness.

You may not think these basics of societal civility matter, but they do, and I’ve noticed there has been a general decline in this area since the pandemic and even earlier. It does not cost you much to observe basic greetings, observe social graces that have been around for centuries, think of other people such as the elderly, the disabled, and the pregnant before yourself, and to do what you say, mean what you say, and to be honest and forthright.

Being reliable, being accountable, and holding yourself to a higher standard is important as well to maintaining civilization and improving one’s society. However, if you do not have the basics or the fundamentals down first, it won’t matter one bit. You must constantly be reminding yourself to observe these social attitudes, graces, and behaviors that have marked the upward trend of human civilization since ancient times.

Without making accommodations for others or thinking of others when it comes to our own behavior, we will be headed on a downward slope for which there might not be a way out from in the future. Please again remember your basics of civility when you’re in public but also in private too. Uphold the basic standards of good behavior and make sure you reinforce those kinds of standards with the people in your lives and with the stranger on the street too.