My first post regarding English and Spanish language poems together as I wanted to do a mixture of them in this edition of my poetry.
English Language Poems:
The Sands of Time Can you feel it slip through your fingers? The grains of sand whisked away. Moments frozen in time; The places you remember being present, The times you felt fully alive, The smells that made up your lifetime. But the memories now have faded away. Can you embrace the sands of time?
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2. Cravings It’s only natural, The burning desires, Mind, body, and soul. Scratching that itch, Placating that urge. Keep it in moderation; Don’t let it destroy you. Remember: you’re only human. Desire is the flame that ignites us.
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3. A Mile Wide, An Inch Deep Face down, eyes unaware, Nosedive into fake consciousness. Blank-faced, artificial realities. Lost connections thrown asunder, Stagnant friendships, hollow ties. You’ve spread yourself too thin across reality; Living life a mile wide, and an inch deep.
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Spanish Language Poems:
Es un gusto Es un gusto conocerte por primera vez. Es un gusto tenerte en mi vida. Es un gusto verte de nuevo. Es un gusto besarte en la noche. Es un gusto darte placer y amor día a día. Es un gusto pensarte todo el tiempo. Es un gusto quedarme contigo hasta el día final.
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2. Solo en mis sueños ¿Podría ser quien yo quiero ser? Veo nuevas posibilidades, Nuevas formas de vivir. ¿Podría hacer ese sueño realidad? Soy un aspirante en mis sueños. No hay nada que no pueda hacer, Solo en mis sueños podría ser realmente libre.
“When I say romanticize life, it’s about choosing a balance between being aware of suffering and cruelty in all its forms but not letting it steal our joy or every drop of beauty we should experience during our short time we are living on this planet.”
A star-filled sky, a sunset that looks like a colorful painting come to life, a delicious cup of coffee on a patio or rooftop, a smile from a stranger, or a song that just puts you in a good mood; romanticizing life itself is important to maintaining one’s contentedness. Romanticizing life itself isn’t about deluding oneself about the ills of our troubled world or denying that life has its problems, but it’s about choosing meaning, joy, and pleasure in a chaotic thing that we call existence. When I say romanticize life, it’s about choosing a balance between being aware of suffering and cruelty in all its forms but not letting it steal our joy or every drop of beauty we should experience during our short time we are living on this planet.
What does it mean exactly to romanticize life itself? For me, it’s about viewing life not only through its troubles, struggles, and effort, but also about embracing wonder in all its forms, keeping your imagination going, and living life with intention to observe joy and be appreciative of being able to exist in this moment. Being able to romanticize life does not come easy and we can lose track of how precious life really is. However, you can appreciate life more when you’re able to enjoy the small rituals and little moments that bring you a sense of calm and contentedness.
Maybe it’s your morning coffee or your daily walk around the neighborhood. If you’re a parent, maybe it’s the sound of your child’s laughter or if you’re married, your partner smiling at you. In those precious moments, you are left with a sense of what the good stuff in life is and that it can be good. You know those moments don’t last forever so it’s important to recognize them when they happen and to find enjoyment in them. I also think romanticizing life is about embracing yourself as the ‘main character’, which I have written about in a previous article. Being able to embrace new places, new foods, new cultures, and new adventures can give your life much more volume of good memories, meaningful connections, and some amazing stories to tell upon your return.
Life isn’t perfect and neither is your own, but it’s important to remind yourself daily of the good stuff even if it’s minor things in your routine and daily rituals. Even if life seems bad, I always think there’s the ‘little’ things in life to be grateful for and to remind yourself of what to be fortunate for even if things can look bleak at times. Romanticizing life matters even more in today’s world in my view. Modern life is designed to overwhelm us seemingly everyday and can drain our joy completely if we are not careful.
A lot of us are burnt out from work, overstimulated by 24/7 news cycles, and overwhelmed by the technological change going on around us. Romanticizing life is not about ignoring these changes going on around us but to remember exactly why life is still beautiful and how to find out what inspires us, moves us, and allows us to embrace the good things in our world.
It is also a good antidote to apathy, nihilism, and numbness to the problems in our society because remembering the good things in life and what’s worth fighting for. We cannot control the world or right every wrong, but we can control how we experience and move through the world in our own way. Being able to romanticize life and the good it can offer us encourages positive feelings of gratitude, mindfulness, and presence especially when there are so many distractions around that can cause us to lose sight of what we really should be focusing on.
While I advocate for romanticizing life, I’ll never shy away from acknowledge the pain and suffering we all inevitably go through in life. However, we cannot let ourselves be consumed by the pain we experience or seek to escape reality in unhealthy ways. Remember to be able to hold the good and the bad of life in you, the joy and the grief, stress and peace, happiness and sadness.
Don’t romanticize life to escape your problems or the pain you experience but instead use it as a tool to ground yourself, to have perspective, and to think in a more balanced way rather than ‘everything is terrible’ or ‘everything is perfect.’ For some examples of this you may experience in life, you can still pay your bills and light a candle for a nice dinner in the same day. You can still enjoy Paris while it’s raining down on you and you’re late for a tour. You can still have a bad day and still journal your thoughts down while being grateful for the good things you have in your life overall.
As the famous philosopher Albert Camus once wrote, “There is no love of life without despair of life.” To me, this quote represents that you can still be in touch with life’s beauty and joy without being broken by the pain and sorrow you experience that’s a part of life too. This is the kind of perspective that you should be cultivating like Mr. Camus in that you need to be romanticizing the ordinary and mundane of life and to find some beauty in it if you can.
How to do this exactly? Well, I like to write and observe to romanticize and find joy in the world. For others, it could be reading literature, watching films, or learning about art. Even better than that is to create these types of output yourself and to collaborate and work with others because building out human connection through these endeavors makes life more enjoyable and makes it easier to romanticize it all.
Romanticizing life does not mean broadcasting for the world every photo you take, every meal you consume, or every sunset you enjoy. It’s about living in the moment, not being performative or fake about what you experience, and taking the time to really embrace beauty wherever it can be found. It’s about being intentional in how you embrace life, little by little, the good and the bad. You need to have perspective in that things are never as bad as they seem nor as good as they seem. Romanticizing life is not about pretending bad things don’t exist or that good things don’t exist, but it’s about believing in that there is good in the world still and it’s worth taking pleasure in.
If you’re into romanticizing life through travel and adventure, do more of that, and for others it could be the comfort of family and friends, while others can do it more simply with watching the passing of a cloud or the blossoming of a flower, you need to find one small way each day to bring some good energy to your life and to uplift oneself when you can. Life is not meant to be an endless grind where we are meant to struggle endlessly without taking some time to reflect, be present, embrace beauty when we see it, and to live life with as much passion as you can muster when we find things worth enjoying, both big and small, both random and planned, and above all else, reminds us that while life can be tough, it can also be beautiful too.
“In a simulated world, which is built both on illusion and deception, distraction is the perfect weapon for keeping one complacent and from asking questions.”
In a simulated world, which is built both on illusion and deception, distraction is the perfect weapon for keeping one complacent and from asking questions. Few film moments capture that idea more powerfully than a short but iconic scene from The Matrix (1999): Neo (Keanu Reeves), newly unplugged from the simulated world he once thought of as reality or the ‘real world’, walks through a bustling cityscape inside a training simulation that is programmed to feel like ‘The Matrix’, but whose participants realize it is a simulation and not the ‘real world’.
Suddenly, his attention is captured fully as he stops listening to Morpheus’s speech and focuses elsewhere. This distraction is not of danger, but by desire. A stunning blonde woman in a bright red dress walks past him on a city street. He turns to look at her and take in her beauty. A moment later, he’s staring down the barrel of a gun from an Agent of The Matrix.
This moment, while brief, is the Matrix in miniature form, a system that doesn’t just imprison the body, but hijacks the mind as well. In this scene, the Wachowski Brothers, who directed the Matrix film series, deliberate show the audience how distraction can be deadly, how perception can be manipulated, and how even the most liberated minds are vulnerable to illusion even after escaping from the simulated word of The Matrix. Over two decades later, this scene resonates more than ever as we live in a blurred world now of reality and simulation and of seemingly endless distractions like the lady in the red dress.
Let’s walk through how the scene unfolds similarly to how Neo and Morpheus experience the simulation themselves. Neo and Morpheus are in what appears to be a peaceful, clean city environment with sun-drenched streets, people in business attire moving in orderly fashion of different occupations and livelihoods. It’s not the gritty or green-tinted world Neo has just escaped from. Everything here is vibrant, bright, almost too perfect and calm. There’s a catch to it but we don’t know what it is yet as the audience.
Morpheus explains to Neo, “This isn’t the real world. It’s a computer-generated dreamworld built to keep us under control.” They’re inside a training program that mimics the Matrix, but this version is safe and controlled with seemingly no threats like what lurk inside the Matrix. As they walk, Morpheus encourages Neo to stay alert and keep up with him. However, Neo’s attention suddenly drifts elsewhere. A tall, blonde, and slightly smirking woman in a red dress glide past him, a stark contrast to the grayscale suits and muted tones of the crowd. The camera follows Neo’s gaze and not Morpheus’ words. Just as Neo turns around to look at her again, Morpheus interrupts: “Were you listening to me, Neo, or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?”
Neo turns again and instead of the woman, an Agent from the Matrix stands there with a gun to his head. The simulation freezes. Morpheus smiles. “Look again.” This is Neo’s wake-up call after he flinches from the sight of the Agent’s gun in his face. Neo is shaken as at any time in the Matrix, any of those ‘people’ are enslaved by the Matrix can turn into an Agent who is looking to prevent others from being freed from their enslavement by Neo, Morpheus and his crew. In The Matrix, distractions can be deadly because anyone can be an Agent and turn into one at any time. Neo learns his lesson and Morpheus instructs Neo about the real danger of going back into the Matrix, but they have a mission to free those from a reality that is not real, whatever the cost may be.
At its core, the Lady in the Red Dress scene isn’t just about Neo getting distracted having not been accustomed to the unique threat of an Agent. It’s about how the Matrix and by extension, any system of contro uses desire, beauty, and sensory overload to mask its true threat.
The woman in red is not a glitch, nor an accident of the simulation. She is designed by Morpheus’s crew to test Neo’s ability to focus and to challenge his awareness in an environment that constantly floods the senses, a virtual simulation that is meant to feel real but isn’t real. Morpheus isn’t just teaching Neo about the Matrix’s mechanics but also, he’s teaching him about vulnerability. The greatest danger isn’t always visible or known in the Matrix. Often, it’s hidden behind the things we want most or desire to have the most.
The red dress is more than a splash of color on a woman who is simulated to be a distraction. It’s a symbol in the overall movie of temptation, distraction, and the human tendency to follow what pleases us, rather than what protects us, even if it will end up hurting us later. In mythology, this kind of idea of ill-fated temptation appears often: sirens luring sailors to their doom in ‘Odysseus’, the forbidden fruit offered to Adam and Eve in Eden from the Old Testament, each of these illusions are designed to distract heroes from their quests or to lead to the fall of man and woman.
In this scene, the woman in the red dress is a test, one for which Neo fails, momentarily, and I think a lot of us would fail like he did with the distractions that are constantly thrown at us each day. His eyes are drawn away from his mentor, away from the lesson he is teaching, and toward something that feels more real than the truth. The result of his ill-fated choice? Instant danger and his potential demise if he were to make the same mistake again.
The brilliance of this scene lies in how it’s staged visually and shot from Neo’s perspective: everyone is dressed in grayscale, forming a camouflage of conformity and ordinariness. The woman is the only thing that stands out to Neo and the audience. She breaks the pattern of what we see and thus, attracts attention and an extra look. That’s what makes her the perfect distraction and allegory for ill-fated temptation, and that’s what makes this scene timeless.
Fast forward to today’s world where distraction has become the default mode for many of us. Our attention is fragmented by design, engineered by algorithms, applications, increasingly ‘real’ virtual and simulated realities, and seemingly endless digital stimuli, for which has dramatically shortened our attention spans. The modern “Matrix” isn’t an actual simulation in our brains, at least not yet as I write this, but it’s a network of more and more screens, news feeds, constant notifications, and seductive content. It’s the all-knowing algorithm pushing what it knows will make you pause mid-scroll and continue to feed your dopamine receptors.
Every time you find yourself watching a video you didn’t intend to watch, reacting to an outrage post on a political or social issue, comparing your life to curated influencer perfection on social media, or buying something new because it popped up at just the right time in your news feed, that’s the ‘red dress’ in action. While you’re watching the distraction, whatever kind it may be, something else is happening in the background of our lives: real threats are forming that pose real danger to us. Climate change. Political instability. Ongoing wars. Mental health crises. Surveillance capitalism. Social isolation. Economic inequality. Things that are far more dangerous and impactful than seeing ‘a lady in red’. Like Neo, we rarely see ‘the Agent’ or the real threats coming at us on the horizon.
In The Matrix, Morpheus teaches Neo that true liberation begins with awareness, not just of the system, but of how the system manipulates us and our desires. The Lady in the Red Dress is a metaphor for all the ways we’re trained to look away, to not pay attention, to surrender to the pleasure of the moment rather than focus on the issues of the present and the future. In 2025, this scene is more relevant than ever to our real world. It reminds us that to stay aware, engaged, and vigilant in a constantly distracted world is a small yet meaningful act of rebellion.
The focus and impact that you give to the world around you rather than cheap simulated or virtual distractions is actual power. Being able to have greater perception and awareness is everything these days and will allow you to help other people do the same. The next time something flashy, tempting, or beautifully packaged grabs your attention, you should ask yourself: “Am I listening, or was I looking at ‘the woman in the red dress’?”
“What you believe you deserve out of life is often out of your control at the end of the day.”
What you or I want from the world will be different from what the world will give to us. You must understand that the world will humble you in terms of your expectations versus what you will get. A key part of our lives is managing the difference between what we get against what we expect. It is important to keep your own beliefs in check because the world will test them continually and often turn them on their head. What you believe you deserve out of life is often out of your control at the end of the day.
The world will see fit to humble you when it comes to the outcomes we get when compared to what we earn and are able to get based on our hard work and effort. In a perfect world, the fruits of our labor would earn the same kind of return but often, that is not the case and sometimes hard work can be punished rather than rewarded. We have our expectations of the world around us, and the world often has different expectations from those that we expect from it. We must keep trying, to keep working, and to put our best foot forward in our individual efforts but must also understand that what we get back for those efforts may fall short of our own expectations.
Humbling oneself in the face of adversity or a negative result does not come naturally but is part of our maturation process. There is not much we can do but to try again or to move on to another opportunity. Failure is just a part of being human and the better we can handle it and be humble in a bad outcome, the better off you will be in the long run. Instead of being bitter, developing an inconsequential grudge, or blaming yourself or the other party without coming to grips with the fact that what’s done is done, you just must be willing to move on and grow from the failure itself.
We distinctly desire to avoid failure or setbacks and to think that they can’t happen to us, but they can, and they will. How we react to these failures and how we move forward will tell us more about ourselves than the initial failure itself. I would say that it does get easier as you get older as you get more used to the feeling of failure or setbacks and are able to bounce back quicker from them. You must have a thick skin about it, and I think that our age plays an important factor in being able to absorb the blow of failure or a setback without letting it derail you for a long time.
To have your ego be humbled by what the world gives you in return in it of itself is a victory. One’s ego can grow out of control when the world doesn’t humble you or push back on you in any way. When you let your own self-confidence or ego get out of control, you’re more likely to develop megalomaniac behaviors as a result. I find that it is a good thing when the world humbles you because without that happening, you tend to isolate yourself from others’ who have had it more difficult than you and tend to believe everything you do is the best thing ever or without any critique or issue.
Life is not meant to be failure-free or error-free. We are all human and thus, we will falter, make mistakes, and let our own ego get in the way. The key test is if we can push through these setbacks and failures to chart a new course or to try again if we believe enough in what we are trying to accomplish. Perhaps we did not work hard enough, study enough, use our full abilities, or sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be. There is no use fighting against an outcome that is out of our own control.
Sometimes, life has other plans for us, and it just wasn’t in the cards for us in the result we expected. You must take it in and decide how to best move forward. I find that there is nothing wrong with trying again if you believe in your own abilities enough where you want to re-try something by doubling your efforts. If you tried it once and you don’t want to do it again after failure, I don’t think that there is any shame in that either if it doesn’t appeal to you enough. Just because you failed at one thing and the world made it clear that you aren’t ready to move on with it now, doesn’t mean that is a final verdict on you or your capacity to do better or to get to where you want to be.
At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being humbled and to keeping your ego in check. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. There is neither no harm in trying again nor is there any harm in moving on to a new goal or objective you have in your life. One’s ego can run rampant without any kind of pushback or critique, and you don’t want to end up in that place. Failure is the best teacher, and it should not reflect on your whole self as a person but rather on your skill set or aptitude that could use some improvement. Yes, it hurts, and it can feel like an absolute rejection of yourself as a human being, but I want you to know that it is not the case.
It is better to have tried and failed and sometimes to have done so a few times than not to have tried or failed at all. You may eventually succeed, or you may never end up succeeding at all, but the point is that you allow the world to humble you and your ego, without letting it derail you from keeping at it, trying again, or moving on to try in a different area of life that you believe you would be good at. It is natural to fail and to pretend otherwise is doing yourself and those around you a disservice. Being humble and accepting your limitations is part of being a human and hope that even if you fail, you dust yourself off, get back out there, and keep trying your best.
“Created by and starring the incomparable and legendary Larry David, this groundbreaking television series has left an indelible mark on the landscape of comedic television forever.”
In the realm of television comedy history, few shows have attained the iconic status and enduring brilliance of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Created by and starring the incomparable and legendary Larry David, this groundbreaking television series has left an indelible mark on the landscape of comedic television forever.
From its razor-sharp wit to its unapologetically irreverent humor, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” stands as a testament to the genius of its creator and the unparalleled hilarity of its ensemble cast. In this reflection on the recent 12-season end to this timeless show, I will dive into what makes “Curb Your Enthusiasm” one of the best comedy shows of the current century, examining its societal critiques, witty dialogue usage, and the reasons for the genius behind show creator, Larry David’s success.
At the heart of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” lies its fearless examination of social norms and conventions, some that I would argue as the show does are both outdated and tiresome. Through its biting satire and clever storytelling, the show offers a candid and often uncomfortably honest portrayal of everyday American life. Larry David, known for his role as the co-creator of “Seinfeld,” brings his signature brand of observational humor to “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, presenting audiences with a heightened reality where social etiquette is put under a microscope and hilariously dissected.
One of the show’s defining features is its ability to derive comedy from mundane situations, turning everyday occurrences into laugh-out-loud moments. Whether it’s navigating the intricacies of a dinner party or grappling with the complexities of personal relationships, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” finds humor in the absurdities of human behavior. This relatable quality endears the show to audiences of all backgrounds, as viewers see themselves reflected in Larry David’s misadventures and faux pas.
Central to the success of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” was its groundbreaking use of improvisation. Unlike traditional sitcoms with scripted dialogues, “Curb” relies heavily on improvised performances, giving its actors the freedom to explore their characters, and react in real-time. This unscripted approach lends a unique authenticity to the show’s interactions, allowing for spontaneous moments of comedic brilliance that feel genuine and unrehearsed.
Larry David’s portrayal of himself as a fictionalized version of his persona is nothing short of a genius move. Through his character, also named Larry David, the creator skewers societal norms with fearless abandonment, fearlessly tackling taboo subjects, and challenging conventional wisdom. David’s willingness to embrace discomfort and confront controversial topics head-on sets “Curb Your Enthusiasm” apart from other comedies, elevating it to a league of its own.
The ensemble cast of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” further contributes to its comedic brilliance. From Jeff Garlin’s portrayal of Larry’s loyal but perpetually exasperated manager, Jeff Greene, to Richard Lewis, a fellow comedian dressed in black perpetually and Larry’s comedic foil, to Cheryl Hines’ pitch-perfect performance as Larry’s long-suffering wife, Cheryl, each actor brings their A-game to the show, delivering performances that are equal parts hilarious and heartwarming. The chemistry between each of the cast members is palpable, lending an authenticity to their interactions, which was essential to the show’s long-lasting success.
Beyond its comedic brilliance, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is also notable for its incisive social commentary. Through its satirical lens, the show tackles issues of race, religion, politics, relationships, friendships, and more, offering a searing critique of contemporary American society. Whether it’s exposing the absurdity of political correctness or challenging entrenched stereotypes, “Curb” fearlessly confronts the ‘elephant in the room’, sparking real conversations between its viewers, and provoking a good amount of thought long after the credits roll.
Another hallmark of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is its distinctive dialogue patterns. The show is renowned for its rapid-fire banter and quick-witted repartee, with characters engaging in verbal sparring matches that are as entertaining as they are memorable. Larry David’s penchant for wordplay and linguistic acrobatics infuses the show’s dialogue with a playful energy, keeping audiences on their toes, and delighting in every clever turn of phrase.
Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is the way in which it blurs the lines between reality and fiction. Larry David’s decision to play a fictionalized version of himself blurs the boundaries between the actor and the character, inviting viewers to question where the line between truth and fiction truly lies with regards to if Larry behaves as his character, Larry will do. This meta-narrative device adds an additional layer of complexity to the show’s storytelling, challenging audiences to discern where reality ends and satire begins.
Larry David’s success in making “Curb Your Enthusiasm” a TV show hit can be attributed to his uncompromising vision and unwavering commitment to his craft as an actor. As both the creator and star of the show, David brings a singular voice to the screen, infusing each episode with his unique perspective and razor-sharp wit. His willingness to push boundaries and defy expectations has earned him a devoted following amongst fans including myself and has cemented his status as one of the most influential figures in comedy history.
“Curb Your Enthusiasm” stands as a timeless masterpiece of television comedy, a show that continues to resonate with audiences more than two decades after its initial debut. Through its fearless satire, impeccable improvisation, and incisive social commentary, “Curb” offers a refreshing take on the human condition, challenging conventions, and sparking a lot of genuine laughter in equal measure. With its brilliant writing, unforgettable characters, and fearless exploration of society’s taboo subjects, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” has rightfully earned its place as one of the comedy shows of this young century, leaving an indelible mark on the world of television, and inspiring countless imitators in its wake.
Larry David’s previous successful show, “Seinfeld”, and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” are often mentioned in the same breath, given their shared DNA through David’s involvement. While both shows explore the intricacies of human behavior and social conventions, they do so through distinct lenses. “Seinfeld” operates within the confines of a traditional situational comedy or ‘sitcom’ format, with scripted dialogue and episodic storylines centered around four main characters, one of whom, ‘George Costanza’ was based on Larry David’s past experiences living as a younger man in New York City. In contrast, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” eschews traditional sitcom conventions in favor of a more improvisational approach, blurring the lines between reality and fiction with its mockumentary-style presentation.
Despite these differences, the two shows share a common thread in their exploration of the minutiae of everyday life. Both “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” derive humor from the absurdity of human behavior, finding comedy in the mundane and the trivial. However, where “Seinfeld” often relies on situational humor and elaborate plotlines, “Curb” thrives on its characters’ interactions and spontaneous moments of hilarity that arise from their social faux pas. In considering which of the two shows may be perceived as superior to the other, one could argue that “Curb Your Enthusiasm” holds the edge due to its fearless approach to comedy and its willingness to push boundaries.
While “Seinfeld” remains a beloved classic with its timeless humor and iconic characters, “Curb” distinguishes itself through its unapologetically irreverent tone and its willingness to tackle taboo subjects head-on. Additionally, “Curb” benefits from the creative freedom afforded by its HBO platform, allowing for more explicit language and mature themes than its network predecessor. Ultimately, whether one views “Curb Your Enthusiasm” or “Seinfeld” as the better of the two shows may come down to personal preference, but there’s no denying the lasting impact and enduring brilliance of both series in the pantheon of television comedy history. Overall, Curb Your Enthusiasm is a pretty, pretty, pretty good show and one worth watching again and again.
An important part of maturing and becoming a fully functional adult is to keep your expectations in check and to manage them as to not conflict with what the reality of the situation is. Keeping your expectations in check is difficult to do but it is necessary in order to not let an oversized ego, or arrogance, or selfishness keep you from becoming the person you should be. One has to always be prepared for reality to not line up with our initial expectations. You can never really be fully certain of how things in life are going to shape up to be. A true sign of maturity is wishing for the best but understanding that you could be in for disappointment and setbacks even when you think that everything can turn out fine.
The word ‘expectations’ can be synonymous with being ‘unrealistic’ because you are hoping for things to be better than average and to be better than you hoped they could be. Often times, things are about the same as you would expect or can even be worse if you set your expectations too high. Keeping your expectations in check will also to help keep both your emotions and feelings in check as well. There are a number of things one can do in order to measure expectations enough to keep them in line with reality. They include focusing on the present, cultivating patience, and taking the good with the bad. These three keys alone will help anybody’s reality win out over their expectations. While having expectations is not necessarily a bad thing, having too many expectations that are unrealistic or impede your ongoing hard work and efforts will make the reality of that situation worse. Keeping your expectations realistic is something we all must do as adults.
Focusing on the Present: Controlling what we can and not worrying about the things outside of our control goes a long way towards keeping our reality in line with what our expectations should be. Doting too much on the future without having a plan for today is a recipe for disaster in terms of not being able to meet your expectations. It is good to set goals and to set your sights high, but the efforts and the work must be there as well. If you are not working on your goals in the present, you can expect your reality to look differently in the future if you were not actively working towards achieving them in the here and now.
Day-to-day expectations that are measurable and quantifiable are more easily met rather than those that are months or even years away. You cannot be worried or distracted about what could happen three months from now, but you should rather focus on what you are doing now to increase your happiness and satisfaction. You can only control your actions and your behaviors, which will save you a lot of angst and anxiety when you focus on what can be controlled and to focus less on what is out of your control especially for what is still away on the horizon of your life for which you are totally unsure of what is to come. The older I get, the more I realize it is good to plan for the long-term, but to expect things to change the further away from your current present reality are. Focusing on things on a day-to-day basis is part of a recipe for fulfilled expectations and kept promises.
Cultivating Patience and Perspective: Being able to understand that life has both its good and bad events, and you never know how things are really going to shake out is a true sign of keeping your expectations in check. We tend to think a new city, a new job, a new house, more money will fulfill us but sometimes, our expectations can fall short because we set them so high. We sometimes do the opposite in terms of cooking a meal for family members, volunteering at a homeless shelter, cleaning the house, or buying a gym membership in that we think it will not be as fun or fulfilling in reality but those kind of activities end up fulfilling us more than the former. Obviously, we set our expectations high or low based on our personal histories, personal biases, and our own desires and goals.
However, regardless of what we think will be awesome or what we think will be crummy can balance out more if we are able to cultivate patience regarding how any of our life events will shape out. You may not be satisfied with something on day one but then really love it by day 100. When it comes to expectations vs. reality, you have to show patience regarding both because what you expect to be good can end up being bad and what you expect to be bad can really end up being good.
Having perspective on what is going on with our lives can help us as well because our reality may not be what we expect but we can express gratitude for what good things we have to balance out what disappointments or ills that have befallen us previously. If you can count your personal blessings each day, you will be happier with your reality and you can better measure your expectations. Knowing that your perspective on life is totally unique compared to everyone else’s is comforting because your reality is going to be different in many ways from your fellow family members, friends, or work colleagues.
What you are going through cannot be adequately compared to other people because their reality and their expectations are never going to be the same. You can only be patient, be grateful, and realize that you should put your life in perspective as much as you can to remember that life has its ups and downs, and you should never get too low or too high because of it. Everyone has their good days and their bad days, and you never really know what people are going through because everyone has a different reality and different expectations of who they are, what they expect, and who they hope to be.
Taking the Good with the Bad: As I mentioned earlier, reality can bite sometimes especially when your expectations were sky high so anything in life is not going to be as rosy as you first imagined it. Even if something awesome happens in your life and you feel like you’re walking on cloud nine, you can be sure that there will be some small annoyances that come with it. Nothing is ever 100% good, and nothing is ever 100% bad. Similar to walking on ‘Cloud Nine’, you could be ‘down in the dumps’, but realize that your pain is temporary, and nothing lasts forever. The highest high and lowest low will pass and most of life is somewhere in the middle for which you make the best of and strive to meet expectations that only you can hold yourself accountable to. You can’t hold others accountable for standards that they can’t reach as much as you want them to for your own peace of mind. The world does not work that way. You have to hold yourself accountable and be that positive example for others.
You are always in a constant battle of Reality vs. Expectations but in this case, there is not going to be a clear winner. Sometimes, life will exceed expectations, other times, life will fall short of your expectations. The key thing to keep in mind is how do you react to both successes and setbacks in a mature and clearheaded way. You can get discouraged or be ecstatic, but you have to remember that life is about having patience, keeping it all in perspective, taking the good with the bad, and always focusing on the present and the here and now over the past and the future. If you can do these things, regardless of when reality wins or when expectations win out, you will be the winner as well because you will have cultivated the emotions, habits, and overall maturity needed to make it through both life’s ups and its downs.
1. Your mind is a fertile garden patch. Failure to cultivate it allows weeds to run rampant.
As the popular saying goes, “Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.” In order to get the most out of your brain, you need to put your mental and intellectual capabilities to the test every single day. Whether it is reading the newspaper, doing a crossword puzzle, or solving a Rubix cube, you must exercise your mind as you do so for your body. If you don’t do anything to stimulate your learning capabilities, it’s likely that you will be left behind in life to some degree. Especially in this day and age where there is an unlimited amount of information to be accessed by the average person, there is simply no excuse as to why someone can’t cultivate their mind to improve themselves and become smarter.
You don’t even need to spend your whole day learning because it’s likely that you’re already a busy person. However, it only takes an hour or two a day of active learning in order to get ahead in life and improve a little bit. For example, you could spend that hour or two each day learning a musical instrument, studying a foreign language, or reading a chapter or two from a new book. The possibilities are seemingly endless but you need to take the initiative in order to make it happen. As an adult, nobody is going to hold your hand and force you to learn new things.
This isn’t like it was in school growing up where you had set periods of learning and a teacher there who could guide you to improve and become more knowledgeable. After high school or even college, you need to take initiative when it comes to learning and empowering your mind to become more open, agile, and responsive for the increased amount of knowledge that you want to retain. You can hold the weeds at bay if you’re willing to plant some flowers there instead.
2. Thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings lead to actions and actions lead to results. If you don’t like the results you’re getting, reexamine your thinking.
You may not be able to control the thoughts or the feelings that enter your head but you need to control how you act and react to them. There is a direct correlation between your thoughts and feelings and your actions that come later. It’s important to think about why you are experiencing these particular thoughts and feelings, and if they are constructive or not to be having in your mind. You need to make sure that the actions that you are willing to undertake as a result of your feelings are done for the right reasons and are not just based off of poor impulses.
Part of being a mature adult is realizing that you have control over your actions and you should weed out the thoughts, emotions that are completely negative in nature and won’t get you very far in your goals and in your results. The effort that you put forth in your actions is a direct result of the effort you put into your thoughts. For example, if you feel confident about the subject material for a biology exam and are thinking about the topics you need to study and master, then you will be more likely to turn those positive thoughts into real actions as you crack open the books to study for this exam and then take the exam the next day with good feelings of confidence from putting efforts behind your original thoughts.
However, if you choose to focus on the negative aspects of your thoughts and emotions, it will likely cause a downward spiral, leading you to make mistakes and achieve less than desired results. With positive thoughts and emotions come the positive efforts of hard work that will often lead to good results. You really need to believe in yourself internally before you can have external success in the world and that all begins with your thought process and how you feel about yourself as a person.
3. Don’t deceive yourself. Confront reality, as it exists, even when the facts are brutal! Once you do, and then take action based on that reality.
Reality can be difficult to cope with but it is absolutely necessary to be able to handle even when the facts are not in your favor. In anything in life, you need to have a sound understanding of the facts and figures before you can start taking action regarding the subject you’re researching.
It is very easy these days to wrap yourself up in falsehoods and misleading information, which is why it’s more important than ever to seek out the reality of things in order to not confuse or distort your understanding of it all. The facts that may make you depressed, angry, or disturbed but the facts are the facts and they won’t be handed to you automatically. Any good student or researcher will know that you have to check and verify the facts on any subject before moving forward with taking any serious actions.
For example, when it comes to the issue of climate change and global warning, the facts matter a lot which is why so many scientists spend years in their field compiling data, doing research, testing out hypotheses, etc. before they decide to take substantive action to reverse this problem or lessen its’ effects. There are a lot of people out there who wish to distort the truth or dismiss it entirely but when you do not have a consensus on an important global issue like climate change, the problem will get worse and not better especially if no action is taken.
Reality must always be confronted even if there are some harsh truths that we as human beings must deal with. Part of being a mature, responsible adult is seeking out the facts in a situation and getting to the truth of the matter regardless if you like what the outcome is or not. Once you have the facts, you’ll be clear to take action and to do the right thing in your mind.
4. Worrying about things you can’t control creates a negative feedback loop that will cause you unneeded stress and anxiety.
Worrying is useless when you think about it. It doesn’t do anyone let alone yourself any good to think about the things that may happen in the future but also may not happen otherwise. You can only really know what’s going to happen exactly for today or maybe for tomorrow but beyond that you can never really be sure about what is going to happen to you.
Worrying can really be a mental block that can prevent you from making progress in your daily goals or from being successful in whatever you set your mind or your body to. By worrying all of the time, you’re not going to be able to do anything useful with your life if you’re worried about something bad is going to happen. By doing that, you’ll create a negative spiral of negative thoughts that you may not be able to get out of so easily.
When you decide to worry about something out of your control, stop yourself right there, take a deep breath, and push those negative thoughts out of your head. Instead, you must think positively and act positively in order to create the change you need and to become a better person in different areas of life. Worrying will get you nowhere and will create an endless loop of negatively. You have to be willing to take some chances, face some risks, and do your best effort in order to get to where you need to be. Worrying is a wasteful endeavor when you could focus your mental energies in a way that is more positive and productive overall.
5. Harnessing your thoughts to drive tangible, positive outcomes – It’s not enough to stare up the steps, you have to step up the stairs.
Thoughts must become actions in order to make things happen. You can think as much as you want about what you’re going to do, but unless you put actions to words, you won’t be able to get anywhere. There’s an important saying when it comes to this subject, which is, “Watch what people do, not what they say.” There’s also another saying such as, “Actions speak louder than words do.”
If people aren’t willing to follow through with their actions, you can be sure that they won’t be able to advance or progress that much with their goals, dreams, or aspirations. The difference between someone who’s a big talker and someone who actually walks the walk is quite stark. Success and progress doesn’t just come out of thin air. You need to be the person who is willing to take action after forming a plan of how to make the outcome positive or successful. This applies to a number of things in life that we often strive to achieve.
Whether it’s being the first person in your family to graduate from college, or working extra hours for that raise, or going back to night school to get the skills you need to apply for that job, positive outcomes must come from actual efforts and hard work. Good things come to people who put actions behind their thoughts. Anybody can talk a good game but the ones who really stand out in life are the ones who go the extra mile to achieve their goals with planning, taking action, and doing their best.
