happiness – The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

It Feels Good to Do Good

“The good work we do whether it’s volunteering, donating, or contributing to society in our job or a non-paid effort can not only improve the state of the world in a measurable way but also make us feel good in the process.”

It can be disconcerting to make sense of how little is within our control and how much we would like to have the world be different than it is. Whether its politics, culture, the environment, or society in general, our lack of control over these forces that have a massive impact on our lives can be difficult to make sense of. Even when we do our best to make positive change in the world, it may only cause what I have previously referred to as a ‘ripple effect.’ However, we don’t realize that not only does the good we do ripple out in the world in a small yet powerful way, but we become the better for it as a result.

The good work we do whether it’s volunteering, donating, or contributing to society in our job or a non-paid effort can not only improve the state of the world in a measurable way but also make us feel good in the process. Other people in our lives may or may not know about these contributions that we make whether it’s with our physical labor, our financial resources, or just a caring thought or gesture but if we are the ones making the effort, we should take the time to recognize its significance and the beauty of the act itself.

It does not hurt to pat yourself on the back metaphorically for showing up and doing your part. I don’t believe it is egotistical or detrimental to your self-esteem to recognize that you are taking time or money to do something good in the world. While you should not expect others to be so forthcoming in their adulation or praise of what your contribution means, you should feel good about helping others or helping nature or just being kind and caring towards your fellow man or woman.

If you feel like you’re in a rut, I truly believe volunteering some time out of your busy schedule and working towards a goal in that kind of volunteer work can really cheer you up and make you feel a bit better about the world. So much these days is out of our own control in an increasingly technologically driven, lightning-fast world where we do not have as much time to slow down and focus on what really matters, which is to leave the world better than you found it.

The work can be hard, disappointing, and even cause you to question whether it is worth your time or money but hold true to the reason why you got into doing work for the betterment of others in the first place. While it is considered a selfless act to volunteer or to donate or to work for others, do not let yourself forget that it feels good to do good and you’ll often be better off for having done that work even if it was difficult, thankless, or draining to you mentally or physically.

Having that sense of control, to work hard towards a specific goal, and to feel better for having stuck with your good work to its end are all ways that can make us feel good about doing good. People all need to feel that sense of self-worth and to have that self-esteem be boosted a bit and that can come with taking the time or money or both to contribute to the betterment of the world around you. While time and money are precious resources for which we tightly hold onto at times, perhaps too much so, it is without question a good use of time and/or money to help those people out who are less fortunate than you are.

Only you can decide how much of either precious resource, time or money, that you would like to contribute as a volunteer but I promise that whatever you decide to take upon you in terms of doing good, you can guarantee that whatever effort or work you put in will pay you back in the most beautiful way in that sense of satisfaction and contentedness you can get from healing the world or helping a person or contributing to a social cause you care about a lot.

The work involved will be difficult and you will need to put in hours, days, and sometimes months or years to see the fruit of your labor lead to the good you sought to come about as a result. The blood, sweat, and the tears you put in may not seem worth it but if you work in a group or a team with other committed people who care about the same good work that you do, not only will it be easier, but it will be done quicker.

During the good work you do, make sure to keep reminding yourself that results will take time, that you have your goals clearly in mind as to why you’re contributing to do good in the first place, and to remember that you may not get praise from others but that your own satisfaction and happiness from contributing will be most powerful as it comes from within you. We only have so much time to volunteer and to do some good on our own terms so make sure you think deeply about how you want to contribute and why you’re contributing to that cause.

Other people, even friends and family, may question why you are dedicating your time and/or your money to the good work you’re doing, but you do not need their approval to go forward with reaching your goals. You only need to deeply internalize that doing good will make not only you feel good about it but the people or environment or our world, which will be better off as a result. If you have to justify why you did the work you did, don’t look to other people to confirm your righteousness but rather look within yourself in your heart to see what you contributed was needed, that you had the skills or the knowledge to help out, and that the impact you made was measurable and that it could ‘ripple’ out through the society and the entire world.

Don’t Rely on Others for Your Happiness

“Happiness is fleeting, comes and goes, and can come from a variety of sources, sometimes unexpectedly. I want you to be sure, dear reader, that you can diversify your happiness as much as possible.”

It’s important that I give my readers a little bit of tough love every now and then. I don’t do it to be negative but to give some advice that may help you out in the future. You can think I am wrong on this one, but I’ll be sure to defend where I’m coming from here. ‘Don’t Rely on Others for Your Happiness’ is what I am wanting to get across to you if nothing else. Happiness is fleeting, comes and goes, and can come from a variety of sources, sometimes unexpectedly. I want you to be sure, dear reader, that you can diversify your happiness as much as possible.

To put it simply, you need to be always cultivating both your internal happiness as well as your external happiness. You cannot have one form of happiness without the other and you should be continually trying to exercise both forms of happiness when you can. Happiness must be experienced, and it can be a futile emotion to pursue. It comes naturally to us, often when we least expect it, and can come from both within us and from those around us. Being happy because someone made you smile, someone made you loved, or even someone made you laugh is just as important as being happy from your own accomplishment(s), your own spirituality, and by being around the right environment.

In my view, happiness should be experienced both internally and externally. It can also be a bit of a balancing act but to neglect your own internal happiness especially or the ability to create your own happiness without others’ input is a key trait that you should always have available to you. If other people can give you happiness and then take it away just as easily without you being able to create that happiness that they took away, then you’re going to be in trouble in terms of your emotional state. Depending on another person or even another thing for all your happiness is a recipe for disaster.

It can be invigorating at first for someone to add on to your happiness by leaps and bounds. You never knew perhaps that you could be that happy or feel as happy as often. You’re basically on ‘cloud nine’ and you owe it to someone else. This can be an emotional kind of apex that gives your life that much more enjoyment and contentedness. While this kind of life event whether it’s a new relationship, a new friendship, or even a new role in society that others rely on you before, it should not take away from your own way to generate happiness internally.

I don’t discourage you from maximizing your happiness but if you rely on someone else such as a lover, a friend, a family member, etc. for all your happiness to be generated then that can lead to a very negative place. You should remember that if someone can give you all your happiness and heighten it to a new level; they can easily take it away just as fast and leave you without any of that emotion left if you let yourself be wrapped up in their adoration, love, or friendship. What I encourage you to remember is that it is good to be happy from what others share with you and what they help you enjoy about life, but don’t let yourself be at the whim of their ability to give you happiness…or not at all.

Always keep some of your own happiness in a personal reserve that cannot be taken away from anyone else regardless of what they mean to you personally. While external validation, love, and warmth is beautiful to enjoy, you should let it be the end all be all your emotional state. It is vital to look within yourself to generate your own happiness even if it comes less often to you or is as not as intense or long-lasting as that external kind of happiness. Internal happiness tends to take discipline, patience, and even action on your own part. It is often not given to you like external happiness but must be done by your own self without any support or encouragement.

When it comes to creating your own happiness, look to yourself to find joy and pleasure in other ways whether it’s a stroll in nature, a goal you’re seeking to accomplish, a new place to travel to and enjoy, or even being able to manage your life well by cleaning your place or by eating healthy. The better you take care of yourself, the happier you’ll be as a result. It’s important to not neglect yourself in your pursuit of happiness externally. Some of the best gratification and contentedness can come from reaching your own goals, having your own unique experiences, or having your own accomplishments that you achieved through hard work and effort.

If you are not able to generate your own feelings of happiness, it is going to be much harder to have external happiness from others as well. If you are not able to laugh, to dance, to celebrate, to enjoy, etc. without it being done with another person by your side, then that is a slippery slope towards not having any happiness at all. While it is great to having both internal and external happiness come together, if you cannot have your own internal happiness first, there is no way in my view for you to have the external happiness to come next. Forming some internal happiness first is the key step to being able to share in being happy with others.

You also should not look to become a total hermit and only take in happiness internally. It is good to share moments of happiness with other people so make sure to get out there once you have that sense of your own happiness that can be generated on your own to seek that external validation within reason to make your life even more content and joyful. To conclude, it does no good for you to have one without the other when it comes to happiness so make sure you work on cultivating both internal and external happiness but if you can only choose one that comes first, make sure you don’t rely on others for your happiness alone and to start with your internal sense of what it means to be happy first.

The Fruits of One’s Labor

“The song is called ‘Victory Dance’ by My Morning Jacket and whose lyrics directly address the earned happiness and contentedness after a day of struggle through a hard day’s work.”

One of my favorite song lyrics deals with the satisfaction of another day worked and to see the fruits of one’s labor enjoyed at the end of the day. The song is called ‘Victory Dance’ by My Morning Jacket and whose lyrics directly address the earned happiness and contentedness after a day of struggle through a hard day’s work.

“Hope to watch the victory dance after the days’ work is done
Hope to watch the victory dance in the evenings setting sun…
Hope to watch the victory dance over many lives to come…
Hope to watch the victory dance in the evenings setting sun.”

The ‘victory dance’ could be interpreted as a metaphor for a celebration or a relaxation or a general happiness that comes over you at the end of the working day. Regardless of the work involved, at the end of the day or the week or even the year, you can be able to look back with pride and satisfaction in your ability to ‘dance’ or enjoy the fruits of your labor in the evening or night or whenever your work is done.

The key lyric I can relate to is that the work may be done for the day, but it will continue for many ‘lives’ or ‘years’ to come. While the work you did today was hopefully meaningful or valuable, your progress will need to continue in the future so you can keep enjoying the ‘victory dance’ in whatever form you celebrate or take stock of what you were able to do.

Fruit takes time to grow and to be at its most ripe for eating and the same goes for our labor. While labor or work can be evaluated on a day-to-day basis, real progress in our labor whether it’s a business, a corporation, or a conglomerate, that kind of work can take years, decades, or even generations to build. You can enjoy a ‘victory dance’ for any kind of daily labor you can put in because of the progress made, but a key point as highlighted in this song by My Morning Jacket is that you really should try to enjoy the ‘victory dance’ for “many lives to come”, which I interpret as years to come or even over the generations from one family member to another.

Long-term progress requires ‘lives’ or ‘workers’ to build over the years or decades so it’s important to not celebrate too early or to ‘dance’ too early because the fruits of your labor should not be enjoyed too prematurely but rather when the moment is right or when the fruit is all ripe. Fruit, like one’s labor, takes time to enjoy so it’s best to be patient and work hard over time rather than to try to rush the process to enjoy ‘the fruits’ prematurely rather than when things have progressed to a finished point and even then, there is always room for further progress and improving in one’s work.

Another few of the lyrics from ‘Victory Dance’ that I really enjoy is the emphasis on trying out whatever labor may be best for you to thrive, or for which is done out of necessity to survive. It is key to adapt to the labor required of you or which is most available at the time since the ‘fruits’ will be just as enjoyable at the end of it. If you are committing yourself to ‘labor’, which inevitably involves struggle, either mentally or physically, the rewards or ‘fruits’ will likely be worth it because of that same ‘struggle’ involved.

“But you should work, for the self and the family
Should I hit the water or stay on dry land, even though I never swam?
Take machete into the brush, though at first there is no path
Taste the warpaint on my tongue as it’s drippin’ with my sweat
Place my gaze in the futures path, seein’ things that aint come yet.”

Your labor or work is not just for your own fruits as the lyrics state above. It’s also for your family or for the people who depend on your labor. They must share in the ‘fruits’ as well beyond your own needs and desires. Needing labor to survive and enjoy the fruits of life’s necessities such as food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. will sometimes force us to get out of our comfort zone as well. As the lyric above suggests, we often must test our limits to secure labor to have the ‘fruits’ in life. We may have to swim even when we have never swum before, but labor will require learning both new abilities and skills to be good at what we do.

You may have to learn those new skills to secure labor to do or to have work for the future. You should leave your comfort zone such as learning to swim, or to hike, or to hunt, or to lift heavy things or to use your mind to solve problems.

Whether it is a machete or a screwdriver or a keyboard, you are going to have to ‘clear a path’ with your labor even as the song says, nothing was there before. Creating something or making something out of nothing is a key part of being able to enjoy those fruits later by the work of sound mind or a good body.

Lastly, you may be physically challenged in your labor especially if there happens to be conflict as the song alleges. You may not know it, but you may be asked for labor of national importance or survival such as in times of peace but also in warfare, and you may have to provide service as part of your labor not for yourself but for community or for country as well. The final lyric in particular sums up why we labor for our fruits to begin with to plan for an uncertain or unknown future.

We may not have planned to do certain types of labor or work but regardless of if you’re an engineer, a blacksmith, or a doctor, you may be asked to do other types of work that you will have to both learn and then be proficient at. One must always be prepared to do other kinds of work to stay agile, be flexible, and plan for the unexpected such as a war or conflict that you did not see coming but you may be forced into fighting as the reluctant warrior in the song lyrics.

To secure the fruits now and for later as well will help to make sure that our collective labor will not have been for nothing. When your secure labor for yourself to do, you cannot work forever so it is important to think of the future and how to plan to have those ‘fruits’ not just for today, next year, but for the rest of your life too.

A Pleasant Vision

“The cool, ocean breeze blows the wisps of water onto my face and my hair with the soft rustle of the wind refreshing and relaxing me as the sunset envelopes the bright horizon leaving just one solid line of distinction on the horizon to separate the sea from the sky.”

The sand beneath me is coarse yet soft as it envelopes my feet and legs whole as I begin to pull myself up after admiring the waves lapping up to cool my body and soothe my worries as if I were in a welcome trance. Looking around at the vast sunset before me, the canvas of colors from blue to yellow to orange to pink, light up the seascape village I find myself near to but still so far away from. The cool, ocean breeze blows the wisps of water onto my face and my hair with the soft rustle of the wind refreshing and relaxing me as the sunset envelopes the bright horizon leaving just one solid line of distinction on the horizon to separate the sea from the sky.

I am wearing all-white as I pick myself up out of the sand and I see the shimmering lights behind me of a picturesque village where there is laughter, unknown music, and the smell of delicious food cooking over an open flame. After the sun sets over the village, I feel the distinct urge to go towards the village where everything and nothing seems familiar to me at the same time. The shimmering lights help me as I climb from the base of the beach up through the rocky hillside feeling at ease even as my bare feet climb over the rocks and shrubbery covered boulders.

As I climb higher and higher to the top of the hillside that juts out of this mountainous formation, the sound of people in different languages laughing heartily, the sounds of beautiful music playing in a sweet symphony as to not clash with the people’s joy. The smells of enticing foods, which become more and more familiar to me that come either from a distant past or of a future yet to come. The arduous hill climbing causes me to stumble and rest prematurely but I am undeterred. I do not bleed and while I tire, I do not fall back. Eventually, I make my way to the entrance of this pristine yet unfamiliar village with cobbled streets and stucco walls. Each of the village homes I walk past have large windows but no one’s inside, the walls are white or pastel-colored, and the arches speak to a grandeur of which I immediately fall in love with.

The windows and doors are arched with beige or dark red clay roof tiles with outdoor space with gardens likely filled with lush tomatoes and other plants to grow one’s own food. Surprisingly, I encounter women and men dressed from different eras on these cobbled streets who greet me in the languages of my ancestors. They have carriages and horses with them and exchange pleasantries with me as I pass them by on the way to the party. While I do not know them, they know me and perhaps they’ve known me my whole life. Even though I am tired from my journey, my hunger and thirst apparent to them all, they whisper words of belonging and encouragement in my ears and tell me that, “everyone is waiting for me.”

Who is everyone? Is it my friends? My family? My loves of past, present, or future? Where am I? Questions wash over me, but I am not anxious. It’s that strange sense of anticipation that comes after a fortuitous journey where my last destination is not known but I have no doubt of where it is that I am supposed to go. I am here for a reason and while I do not know when, where, or how I got here, I finally know that I have a destination in mind that may be what I was looking for all along.

Once I get there, the high, wooden entrance of a pure white village house made of solid brown doors swing wide open for me as an honored guest. There are sturdy, mahogany tables filled with known faces who have known me throughout my life and unknown yet familiar faces who I may be related to by blood or folks who I don’t remember as a child or baby but have also met them at one point or another. The tables and chairs seem to go on forever up to the edge of the hillside looking out on the moon, the sea, and the stars as gloriously bright as can be with no way not see hundreds or thousands in the night sky. Ornate dining sets have been set up with wine goblets and delicious foods with peaceful music playing in the background and it seems everyone is waiting for me to arrive to begin the meal together.

Everybody at each table is dressed up in their own regalia from the era they lived in and are at the age that they most would like to be remembered by. Surprisingly, while each person is exchanging languages with each other that they themselves may not speak, they are somehow being instantaneously translated so everyone can understand one another even while having not been from the same century or same continent.

It dawns on me that this is exactly where I’m meant to be. The food is as delicious as can be, the wine and other drinks plentiful, and everyone is enjoying each other’s company with pure joy and happiness lighting up the evening. They all know me as if I were a family…which I am. Many hugs, kisses, and handshakes are exchanged as each of my ancestors and family members encourage me to join them at the table through a night that seems to stretch across time like a flowing river.

I am the latest to arrive to the celebration here, but it feels like they’ve all been waiting a while for me to join them here at this heavenly setting. There is no mention of anything negative in the conversations I have. We don’t highlight my or their own Earthly failures, setbacks, heartbreaks, and tragedies. There is just happiness, joy, warmth, and discussing the fine setting and meal we find ourselves enjoying together after having been apart. There are no hard feelings, no pain, no remorse, no odd person out, as we are a whole family again united after all this time, which feels like just yesterday we were all together but may have been decades, centuries, or millennia since our paths have crossed. If this is heaven, I ask myself, it is certainly a pleasant vision of it.

Gross Domestic Product v. Gross National Happiness

“Most of us know what Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is having learned it at some point in high school or in college. The total value of all finished goods, products, and services produced within a country’s borders over a specific time period such as a quarter (three months) or a year. Economists commonly use GDP as a model for economic health when it comes to an individual country.”

Most of us know what Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is having learned it at some point in high school or in college. The total value of all finished goods, products, and services produced within a country’s borders over a specific time period such as a quarter (three months) or a year. Economists commonly use GDP as a model for economic health when it comes to an individual country. If GDP grows positively or increases over time, then generally you could assume that the economy is doing well or is at least maintaining its equilibrium. However, when the GDP of a country is declining or has been stagnant for multiple years, economists are likely to assume there is a problem of some sort.

There are economic terms related to Gross Domestic Product as a recession (two straight quarters of negative GDP growth) leading to an economy to contract rather than grow. We also know of an economic depression where an economy contracts for years and is often associated with double-digit negative growth and/or high unemployment, inflation rates. What is less talked about is how do we measure the health and well-being of citizens within a country’s borders.

What other measurement besides GDP could measure a country on a national scale? While GDP measures the economic health, the actually mental health of a country’s citizens has been measured by a little-known survey conducted by the small land-locked, mountainous country of Bhutan, which is a Buddhist kingdom that is located at the eastern part of the Himalaya mountains. This national survey is given out only every five years to the citizens of Bhutan, of which there are only 750,000 people living in the small country. Instead of a simple 0 to 10 survey on if you are happy on a scale, the survey is quite comprehensive in its questions.

The government of Bhutan asks over 300 questions in the survey and can take multiple hours to complete. Questions are compensated a day’s working wage to answer the questions and it strives to measure all forms of human capital and not just the economic capital measured by GDP. The survey has nine different domains, 33 social indicators, and hundreds of variables. The categories of the survey include education, health, culture, time use, psychological well-being, community development, environmental practices, and overall living standards. This GNH survey has become a cornerstone of Bhutan’s presence on the world stage and has gained notoriety since it was introduced in 1998 as a form of alternative human development.

About 8,000 households in Bhutan answer the survey every five years, which is conducted by the Centre for Bhutan Studies and GNH research. Questions can range from being general about prayer and/or meditation habits to being specific about if you ‘trust your neighbors’ to if you ‘fight with your family at all.’ The measuring of the country’s happiness began in 1972 when the fourth king of Bhutan, Jigme Singye Wangchuck, declared that the “Gross National Happiness is more important than gross domestic product” for the country.

Bhutan has seen numerous changes over almost fifty years since the movement towards measuring GNH began. The same king helped ensure a parliamentary democracy was established in 2008 with the constitution and political reforms putting him in a more ceremonial role. Bhutan has strived to actually use the survey to help improve certain aspects of the lives of its citizens such as having free education, health care, and getting electricity at no extra cost. Bhutan’s new democracy is messy like any young democracy would be, but Bhutan is known for attracting increased numbers of tourists before the COVID-19 pandemic began and for being largely self-sufficient in terms of food production and for being a peaceful, inwardly looking nation.

The concept of Gross National Happiness is related to the country’s prominent religion of Buddhism with the focus on being content with less, not being so concerned with materialism or economic gains, and to be calm, cool, and collected when facing life’s many challenges. Seeking harmony with one’s friends, family, and neighbors is also another key part of the GNH survey. Bhutan is a beautiful, land-locked country, which has provided its citizens with a number of basic needs such as education, health care, and peaceful relations with its neighbors with having a smaller GDP than many other nations.

The paradox of a country such as Bhutan is that it may be the only country to internally measure happiness in some formal way, but it still ranks in the median in terms of national happiness by outside surveys. Norway was ranked 1^st by the United Nation in its 2020 World Happiness Report, which had a different format and questioning style than Bhutan’s, but for which is a relatively new kind of survey that Bhutan’s GNH survey helped to inspire. While Norway topped the list, Bhutan ranked 97^th out of the 153 nations surveyed, which may not inspire much confidence, but the country does face ongoing challenges especially with its GDP.

Bhutan ranks as a ‘least developed’ country by the United Nations and is dealing with the effects of climate change, high income inequality, increasing youth unemployment, and an uncertain energy future due to the effects of environmental degradation. Bhutan’s GDP is only $2.2 billion and while material wealth and economic growth are not integral to the GNH survey, it likely has a role to play in affecting the happiness of its citizens.

The 2015 GNH Survey by Bhutan reported that “91.2% of people reported experiencing happiness, and 43.4% of people said that they are deeply happy.” From my reading of the survey, Bhutan is committed to improving the happiness of its people by having such an insightful and detailed survey and while their national happiness has room for improvement, they have taken that crucial first step to actually evaluating if its citizens are happy or not, which is quite unique when compared to other nations around the world.

The first step to solving the problem is realizing there is one. If a country focuses only on GDP as a measure not only for economic health but for the health of their citizens in other ways, then they are making a false dichotomy. Economies are naturally going to rise and fall in growth rates but the same can be said of people’s own happiness over time. The key is to first be aware of how happy people are by having a comprehensive yet accessible way to measure that elusive emotion as best as you can. Bhutan is a model for not seeing only its Gross Domestic Product as a sign of national progress.

Any nation can be wealthy and still be extremely unhappy and a nation can be poor but still be happy. The same could be also for a poor nation being unhappy as a rich nation being very happy. The key to 21^st century economics will be to figure out how to find that balance between economic success and people’s happiness. You can have the average citizen make a lot of money and be considered a ‘success’ but what if the schools in their town are lousy, the health care is too expensive and of low quality, and the community is distrustful of one another.

Bhutan has taken the initiative as a country for seeing happiness as being an important part of a nation’s well-being, which can be measured in various ways. While their GDP is very small, they recognize that economic growth is not simply everything that a country should be known for. If you have a certain amount of money in the economy, where are you putting the national product towards? How will you know how to spend the money gained from your citizens through taxes without knowing what their grievances are and what they unhappy with?

Having Gross National Happiness be part of a country’s consciousness involves asking difficult yet necessary questions from the population on different aspects of their lives. Bhutan has taken that crucial step towards asking their citizens what they are happy with, what they are not happy with, and what could be improved in their lives. When you have that necessary information coming in, the government can then take steps to allocate the tax money and other revenue they have available to put it towards where its’ needed most. If government services need to be improved, they’ll know from their citizenry that it’s a priority. If living standards need to be improved such as providing more housing, better food, or less pollution, they will have that awareness from knowing more from the GNH data that they are receiving.

Lastly, a government like Bhutan’s can work closely with the parliament, civil servants, non-governmental organizations, and civil society leaders to take the survey’s results and work together on a common set of facts and figures to start to improve the country in needed areas where people are unhappy about. If other governments can learn from Bhutan when it comes to Gross National Happiness, it’s that it can be measured from your citizens in a comprehensive way and that each government can learn from its citizens how their people’s lives can be improved and in what ways beyond just how much money their people are producing each year.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2018/02/12/584481047/the-birthplace-of-gross-national-happiness-is-growing-a-bit-cynical

https://www.grossnationalhappiness.com

https://www.happiness-report.s3.amazonaws.com/2020/WHR20.pdf

Life’s Fleeting Moments

Why is that sunrises and sunsets are often so captivating and moving? Perhaps it’s the uniqueness of the colors blending and merging together to form a painting-like setting that can’t be reproduced elsewhere. Maybe it’s the sense of satisfaction that comes from seeing a new day born or see the old day fade to its end. However, I tend to think the beauty of these happenings lies in another part of its overall appeal.

While some aspects of sunrises and sunsets bring a lot of beauty and perspective to life, I think the main reason why sunrises, sunsets, and even the random rainbow appeal to the human psyche is because these events represent fleeting moments that last for only a few seconds or minutes. They are impermanent, awe-inspiring, and hard to experience often. Sunrises and sunsets are ephemeral events that can be easy to miss and require one’s full attention to really appreciate them.

These sunrise and sunset events are what I like to call ‘fleeting moments’ and they are truly special. I say this because they do not last, and they require you to really pay attention and let your distractions float away. You have to be in the moment and that is increasingly difficult for most people to do nowadays. We are constantly bombarded by sensory overload that is often man-made and unnatural. Advertisements, loud noises, screeching vehicles, bumps in the roads we drive, these can cause us to lose sight of what’s truly important in life. Taking measure every now and then of why these fleeting moments are important to experience not only reminds us of the beauty of life but also how impermanent our time here really is. When you compare the fleeting moments of life to the routine moments in life, it really is no contest to as to which kind of moment is the preferred option to experience in full.

Categorically, the rewards of these fleeting moments are among the best in life because we all know that they are not common. Among the daily monotony and chores that encompass our routines, taking a few moments to appreciate being alive and being at peace are really what we all should be striving for even if these moments are fleeting. The fleeting moments are hard to capture but when you do, they bring the most joy and happiness that you can possibly have. As I mentioned in a previous article, there is a rule of diminishing marginal returns that we should be aware of and that’s why the more common we experience certain things in life, the less we really value them.

It’s quite a paradox when you think about it. The most enjoyable moments in life are the ones that we cannot plan for or anticipate, but that is part of the beauty of life and of living. Going back to my sunrise and sunset example, if they happened every hour instead of every day, that would be boring, right? You would probably start yawning after the fourth sunrise and the third sunset. Fleeting moments are special inherently because they are temporary, and you may not be able to enjoy them forever. Fleeting moments can also be part of your daily routine but ones that can only last a few seconds or a few minutes.

For some of us, it could be the first sip of a fresh cup of coffee at the beginning of the day or for others, it could be a hot shower after a long day of hiking. We know that the 2^nd or 3^rd cup of coffee like the 2^nd or 3^rd shower would not be as pleasurable or as enjoyable because then it becomes routine and our mind adjusts to it happening. However, the fleeting moment when your lips touch the coffee or when your face is enveloped with shower water, then it’s almost pure ecstasy for your body and mind. While these moments are definitely fleeting, they are the most enjoyable. Keeping them as part of your routine is important so that you will feel better both mentally and physically.

What we should all keep in mind is how to maximize the most enjoyment from these temporary moments because we know they don’t come around every minute or every hour of each day. My thinking on this is to really put all distractions away for those moments so you can be living fully and freely. When you are having a nice dinner with friends, make a habit to engage yourself in the conversation rather than daydream about what you’re doing afterwards. When you are watching the sun rise or set, put the phone away and just watch the colors merge together to form the painting-like canvas. Let your stress and worries melt away as much as possible to really enjoy these moments. There are so many distractions out there, but your sense of contentedness will be much higher if you are able to have the willpower yourself to be in the here and now wherever that may lead you.

Laughter among friends, patting a baby’s back, a spontaneous rainbow, a beautiful vista after a long climb, holding the hands of a beloved family member, these are the moments you want to remember throughout life. They are fleeting in length and a small amount of sand in the hourglass known as one’s lifespan, but they are precious and powerful. If you can take the time to work, to play, to sleep, to eat, then you can take the time to live in the moment and appreciate beauty and joy when it comes your way.

Being able to live fully by being in the moment will set you on a path of fewer regrets the further you go through life. Letting yourself experience moments of happiness and joy without distraction or worries will improve your well-being. It is a conscious effort to stay in the moment, but the rewards are well worth it. If you have to meditate, exercise, or even do yoga to help yourself stay present, then do so but don’t let life’s fleeting moments pass you by.

The Rule of Diminishing Marginal Return

There is a well-known law in economics called the ‘Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility’, which states that as consumption of a good or service increases per unit, the satisfaction derived from consuming an additional unit or more will lead to a subsequent decline in its overall utility. In other words, the more you consume, the less satisfied you will be with each additional product or service you purchase. The first thing you buy, use, or consume will be the most satisfying but the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th unit of the same item you utilize will not be as useful and could even not satisfy you at all.

This fundamental law in basic economics is one that is worth memorizing because it makes total sense. The first chocolate bar you consume will be delicious and fulfilling. You may not be satisfied with just one chocolate bar so you may end up eating another one since the first one was so tasty. However, anyone will tell you that the 2nd chocolate bar will not be as tasty or satisfying as the 1st one and you may even end up with a stomachache from eating too much chocolate if you are not careful.

The ‘Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility’ does not just apply to economic principles but goes far beyond that in terms of being applied to human psychology. The act of consumption, I would argue, is not just an economic one but also applies to the psychology of choice and how we live our lives. Everybody is a consumer in one way or another whether it’s the air we breathe, the water we drink, or the food we eat each day. Without any consumption, we would not survive but it is our choices that define our consumption habits and how we behave not just as economic actors but as human beings.

In a psychological context, instead of calling it the ‘Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility’, I would refer to it as the ‘Rule of Diminishing Marginal Return’, which is similar but discussing more how it’s a rule of life that the more we buy of something, the less return on that investment we will get out of it. The first of something whether that’s the purchase of a new car, a first trip to a new country, or the first time you try a new cuisine. These experiences will captivate you and do its job of putting your happiness level to a 9 or 10, but it’s a rule of life that it won’t stay there. While the memory of that experience will provide you with satisfaction and joy in its remembrance, your psychological state will revert to the norm of being level in terms of happiness or satisfaction with life. You may try to buy or consume more of something to recapture that feeling of happiness but that would actually be counterproductive in the long run and actually create false expectations compared to the first time you purchased or consumed that activity, experience, food, or drink.

How do you avoid the marginal returns of consuming, buying, or eating too much? Well, that is not easy to do but that is part of being a mature and responsible adult. You must have enough willpower and be able to reason with yourself that one more plate of food, one more drink, or one more car will not do the trick in giving you happiness. You must realize that your base level of happiness as a person won’t change as a result of consuming more and it may end up backfiring by causing your satisfaction to be lower because you consumed too much in the first place.
Being able to limit your consumption and controlling your vices will make you better off. If you can master your desires or your urges, then you can focus on bettering yourself or making you happier through more sustainable means. If you are working on personal projects, devoting yourself to a volunteer cause, or working on improving yourself mentally and/or physically, that kind of satisfaction will have a higher return on investment than just mindless consumption.

Consumption of goods and services may spike your happiness and satisfaction levels in the short run, but that kind of joy is short-lived and can often feel isolating if you are not sharing in that joy with others. That is why a meal with friends or family is often much better than eating by yourself. It’s why travelling with a close friend will generate more memories than a trip by yourself. It is not wrong to sometimes treat yourself to a nice meal, a nice trip, or a new gadget but shared experiences will make you happier and create more memories than those times that you were on your own in consuming.

One should carefully watch what they consume and monitor how much per day, per week, per month, and even per month they are consuming whether that’s food, drink, goods, etc. Everything in moderation is a good way to be as an adult and if you want to abstain entirely from consuming something, then that is an admirable thing to do as well. The worst thing you would want to do is to become overindulgent or overly reliant on a consumable good to make you happy or give you long-term satisfaction in life. You know better than anyone else the limits of your consumption and that true happiness is derived through shared experiences in life and of challenging yourself to be a better and more developed person.

In the long-term, I believe you get increased rather than diminished return through producing instead of consuming, by challenging yourself mentally and physically, and sharing yourself with others whether that’s through a good meal, a volunteer experience, or a worthwhile group project. All the chocolate and ice cream in the world won’t add to your happiness but would rather detract from it. A bowl of ice cream or a chocolate bar will satisfy you for a few hours, but you eventually will be back to that same level of happiness homeostasis that you had previously.

Instead of looking to keep yourself content or happy all of the time, know that happiness is not everything in life and that you benefit more from the hard work and the struggle that you put yourself on a daily basis than of just sitting on the couch and eating ice cream until the end of time.

When you get to that 2nd or 3rd bowl of ice cream, you should realize that you’re starting to get a stomachache and that you should stop yourself before you get sick. The diminishing marginal return of trying to seek out happiness through ice cream should be counteracted by getting off the couch and into the gym to start working out those extra calories you just gained.

By embracing the struggle of a gym workout and burning off all that ice cream, you’ll be sacrificing that short-term happiness for that long-term struggle but eventual satisfaction of improving yourself physically as a person and making yourself happier and healthier in the long-run as a direct result of your choices and decision-making. You should not be afraid to indulge a little bit every now and then but remember that life is better experienced in moderation and you should always watch what choices you are making as you go through your life as both a consumer and a producer.

The Importance of Community

“Be part of a group. Life is better that way.”

“Being apart of a community is what makes you happy…not rising to the top and sequestering yourself from community.” This quote is from one of my favorite podcasts, “Tangentially Speaking” with Dr. Christopher Ryan. During this show, he conducted an interview with travel host and producer, Jonathan Legg of ‘The Road Less Traveled’ who is the author of the quote above. I was listening to the podcast while I was driving through my hometown when the subject of ‘community’ came to the forefront of their interview. The two of them, who are both very intelligent and worldly men, explained to the listeners how chasing money, fame, and fortune doesn’t ultimately make us happy as human beings.

I absolutely agree with this assessment made on the podcast and believe that while possessions, money, and owning property can create happiness in the short-term, long-term happiness and fulfillment can only come from strong bonds with your friends, family, and community. Dr. Ryan and Mr. Legg also mentioned in one segment of the podcast how isolating oneself while traveling, and staying in hotels does not create a great life experience. I couldn’t agree more having stayed in nice hotels, hostels, and guesthouses during my own travels.

While one could be very comfortable and relaxed in a hotel, you won’t meet other travelers and potential friends as easily compared to when you’re staying in a cheaper hostel that’s in the city center. Dr. Ryan and Mr. Legg concluded in their discussion on communal living that the best way to live is to have your own space to eat and sleep, but to live in close enough proximity to others nearby that you can still have a sense of community and sharing without being isolated. I believe that compared to recent generations and even further back, the idea of community is starting to weaken and become less important which is in direct contrast to human nature and true happiness.

Harvard Political Scientist and Professor, Robert D. Putnam, was one of the first people to bring to national attention the change and decline in communities with his book, “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.” He makes the argument that people have been interacting with each other less and less over the past few decades. Instead of going out to socialize in public through bowling leagues, picnics, sport clubs, religious organizations, etc., more and more people are opting out and have been expanding the amount of time spent using technology as a substitute.

With the ability to have groceries, electronics, books, restaurant food, etc. delivered right to one’s doorstep in major cities and towns now, people have less and less motivation to leave the house. Telecommuting and ‘working from home’ have become more popular as well making ‘office work’ and ‘happy hours’ less obligatory. Social and traditional forms of media have exploded in the sheer amount of offerings whether its’ through websites, TV channels, and/or digital gadgets.

When it comes to community life, religious and social organizations have often formed the backbone and glue that holds people together. However, many different news media outlets have reported that attendance at churches and synagogues have been taking a downward spiral. A growing percentage of Americans are identifying themselves as ‘atheist’ or ‘agnostic’ when it comes to their religious beliefs. Personally, I have no problem with our generation being an irreligious one but I do think it’s tough to replicate that type of community within other types of social organizations.

In addition to the close bonds between neighbors that shared religious beliefs can bring, it can provide a sense of belonging just like many other social groups. Beyond religious affiliated groups, membership in long-standing organizations such as the Boy Scouts and other volunteer organizations is also on the decline as well.

Newsweek.com highlighted this trend illustrated this disturbing trend with official numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics: “In recent years, the percentage of Americans volunteering has dwindled and is now at its lowest level in a decade. Last year, In 2014, the official volunteer rate was 25.4 percent, or 62.6 million people, compared with 29 percent of the population in 2003, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (Official statistics on volunteer rates go back only to 2002.)”

Recently, one of the pillars of my community that I was born into and grew up with shuttered its’ doors last year. My local synagogue where I was Bar Mitzvah’d, went to Shabbat services, and celebrated the Jewish holidays was not able to fund itself due to overall lack of membership and decided to merge with another still functional congregation. This was disappointing for me to hear about because I have a lot of fond memories of that place and the people I met there. It was more than just about religion but it was also a gathering place for Jewish residents of the local area to come together and get to know one each other better and form bonds of friendship. While members of the former synagogue have moved on to another synagogue nearby, it’s not the same as it once was and it’s difficult to integrate oneself into a new community.

This is a trend that seems to be replicating itself across the country. Most Americans don’t know their neighbor next door like they used to and beyond the local school PTA of the local town or city, there’s not much anymore to bring people together. The increasing atomization and isolation of people is worrying for me to hear about. However, I am quite positive about the power and spread of the internet to bring people from different backgrounds and beliefs all over the world together.

While it’s not perfect, you can still remain connected to old friends, former classmates, past roommates, etc. through social networking. Instead of bowling leagues, sports clubs, the local YMCA, now we have Meetup.com and Groupspaces. As technology continues to advance, the meaning of ‘community’ will continue to change and adapt to the times. However, we as human beings must not forget the importance of being apart of a community and how much it means to our mental health and overall happiness.

References:

http://www.saddleback.edu/faculty/agordon/documents/Bowling_Alone.pdf

http://www.newsweek.com/2014/10/03/volunteering-america-decline-272675.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/01/17/us-usa-boyscouts-idUSKBN0KQ05O20150117