activities – The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

Musee d’Orsay

After nine years since my last trip to Paris, I returned in the Summer of 2024 to enjoy some sights like Musee d’Orsay but also for the Summer Olympics!

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Musee d’Orsay, Paris, France

What It Really Means to Be a True Friend

“Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.”

People tend to throw the word ‘friend’ around a lot especially when you may be desperate or wanting to have a new ‘friend’ come into your life. It is natural to want to build rapport with someone and to do so quickly. It is good to have someone want to spend time with you and get to know you are. When you are short on friends or when friends you know have moved on to a different town, city, or country, you want to work on replacing those lost or far away friendships that you used to have.

Especially as you get older, friends move away, get married, have children, and it can be hard to keep those friendships the same or keep them alive in a meaningful away. Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.

Unless the bonds you have are broken or ruptured due to any kind of factor, which does happen in life, you will still have your friends to pick up the connection again despite factor of distance or life circumstances. A friendship that has been established for years or decades doesn’t ever fully go away but you both must work to keep in touch to keep the flame alive into the future. Friendships do fade away, and you or the other person may not be getting what you need to keep it going. It can be sad to let go of a friendship especially when you invest the time, the emotions, and the money spent to keep it alive, but that is just part of life.

We have a tendency in American culture to form friendships at a dizzying pace or want to have someone as a friend quickly to ensure our own need for popularity or for social status. Other cultures tend to be slower in establishing those tight social connections or friendships, but once you do, you have a friend for life, or you have a true friend under a separate kind of category that should be reserved for a few friends and not for many connections or acquaintances.

Yes, we do throw around the word ‘friend’ a lot and too quickly. However, you should be wary of entrusting people who you consider ‘friends’ without feeling out how much that friendship entails. When I think of the meaning of a ‘true friend’, it is deeper than getting drinks every now and then or meeting up to play a sport or do an activity, it is someone who you can share both the good and the bad in your life and they can do the same with you. You don’t have to reveal your whole life story or be exhaustive about it, but a true friend is someone for whom you can be vulnerable with. A true friend won’t judge you for looking for their help, advice, or let you vent to them every now and then.

There are also several kind and thoughtful gestures a friend would do for you whereas an acquaintance or social connection would not. When you need to move and you’re free to lend a helping hand with the furniture, that is a true friend in action. If you need a ride to and from the airport and they don’t mind it even when it’s a little out of the way, that is a true friend. If you need a place to sleep or ‘crash’, and you would rather not splurge for a hotel room, a true friend will offer you their coach or a spare bedroom.

Now, there are two sides to any friendship so keep in mind that if they are willing to do that for you, you should try to do the same for them if the need arises. It is not being transactional but it’s remembering that any true friendship needs effort from both people, and it is good to look out for another especially in an increasingly isolated and technologically driven world. Our phone or our computer or our AI chat tool will never be a replacement for a true friend who is a real person, one whom you can share stories with, help each other with advice, and lend a hand to you when you are in need. Now, you can still drink, eat, play sports, or hang out with a ‘friend’, but if that friend isn’t someone who you can confide in, discuss life and its happenings, or be there for each other, it’s not a deep friendship or can be a bit shallow.

True friendships in my view take years or even decades to foster so while it’s good to try to make new friends, don’t neglect the older friendships you have that can be revived or don’t be too quick to trust someone without giving the friendship time to bloom and see if you both are compatible in the long-run. I would rather have five ‘true friends’ than a hundred or more ‘friends’ who don’t really know me, care about me, or for whom we are close enough to help each other out or just look out for each other.

Friendships are like relationships, though platonic in nature, they are just as important to foster in a healthy manner and that both people are contributing to it. You can start off just as acquaintances but if you’re putting in the time, trying on each side, and growing deeper as friends over the months and years, instead of staying in the shallow subjects, you really are building the ‘true friendships’ that survive time, distance, and other challenges.

Even if you’re married, or have children, or are busy at work, you also need friends and healthy friendships so keep trying to create them, build them, and be a good friend to others in your life. Remember to have quality friendships over the quantity of them as having a few friends for life is much better than have 100 friends who will drop you in a few months because you couldn’t keep up with their lifestyle or their demands or their ‘image.’ True friendship is missing someone when they’re gone and looking forward to the day when you can rekindle the friendship anew.

Why You Need Something To Look Forward To In Life

“Life is not just about paying bills, taking care of errands, and going to and from work or school. No, life is more than just going through the motions.”

Life is not just about paying bills, taking care of errands, and going to and from work or school. No, life is more than just going through the motions. As an adult especially, you must have a life beyond the daily grind. You must be going out of your way to make time to enjoy life and to have something to look forward to, as frequently as possible. Life is short and days, weeks, and months can pass you by without taking full advantage of it. As you get older, it becomes not just about being successful and finding purpose but finding enjoyment out of it before your time is up here.

Enjoyment doesn’t have to lead to you spending your money needlessly. It could be going on a walk, a hike, or chatting with a friend on a park bench. You can enjoy the sunrise, the sunset, or take the time to exercise and feel good about yourself as a result. These are all things that you can look forward to without spending your hard-earned money. While there is nothing wrong with using money to have fun and relax a bit, it’s not the end all be all with looking forward to a gift, a purchase, or a subscription. If it brings you happiness and you’re responsible for it, monetary or not, you should always be marking your calendar each day to at least one thing or event or person you’re looking forward to interacting with.

Clearly, man or woman is not a machine and grinding endlessly just to sustain us alone is not healthy in the long-term. You can be a hard worker and still take the time to enjoy life even when you have a busy schedule. However, you need to also set boundaries and be willing to look at your time honestly to figure when and where you can fit this downtime in. You can easily get overwhelmed with errands, chores, duties, work, and other obligations and not carve out any time for yourself but that is no way to go through this life.

We all need our down time to reset, enjoy, and relax without feeling guilty for having done so. No one in your life is going to plan out your fun experiences or down time for you so you need to be actively doing so yourself. Managing your calendar well is part of that and being conscious of what brings you joy and happiness. Other people will often dictate for you what they think will bring you fulfillment outside of work or school, but you need to decide for yourself the best uses for your free time.

For some people, that could be playing tennis on a weekly basis, for others, it could be catching up with different friends over a drink or coffee over the course of a month. You should always be looking to make time for your fun and enjoyment as you see it best. It takes effort, communication, and planning but it’s better than just going through the motions without breaking up the daily grind a bit.

Being able to plan a vacation, a concert, a hike, or just time spent with loved ones is what really will fuel you through the ups and downs of professional and academic life. You need interests, hobbies, experiences, and people you like to get more out of life beyond the briefcase or backpack. We were not meant to live to work and earn our daily bread alone. Take the time out when you can to have something to look forward to doing, experiencing, or enjoying, whatever that may be, guilt free.

There will always be plenty of hours to give for that job, that class, or that bill payment, but there is less time for our free time by and large. That is why it’s important to plan out your free time well, to have a life beyond the grind, and to create fun, joy, and laughter wherever you can, whenever you can. Enjoy your free time and make the most of it because it’s not for forever and you need to make the most of the time we are given to pursue our own happiness.

Out on the Mighty Chesapeake Bay

Enjoying a nice scenic boat ride out on the Chesapeake Bay on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. The tides were calm and the wind was fierce but a good time was had by all.

Camera: iPhone 15

Location: Chesapeake Bay, Maryland

Mi Quinto Conjunto de Poesia en Español (My Fifth Set of Spanish Poems)

My fifth set of Spanish poems focusing on the springtime, solitude, Guatemala, and experiences becoming new memories.

La Distancia Entre Nosotros
La distancia entre nosotros
Me da una pena tan grande
No sé lo que puedo hacer
¿Este es el fin, cierto?
Tu cariño no lo siento como antes
Eso me va a lastimar mucho
La pérdida definitiva de ti.

2. Primavera Eterna
Quisiera ver las flores y toda la belleza
Por toda mi vida
El sol me da fuerza para enfrentar la vida
La belleza que no va a dañarme nunca
El florecimiento de la vida animal y vegetal
Es donde quiero estar por siempre

3. La Soledad
Al principio, me siento bien
La paz y la tranquilidad
Pero la soledad no es para todos los días
Es algo que puede destruirte sin interrupción
La conexión es insustituible
Nosotros nos necesitamos como humanos

4. Los Colores de Guatemala
Un país con belleza inmensa
Colores brillantes, ropa brillante y alimentos brillantes
Casi demasiado para mis ojos avellana absorber
Belleza natural se mezcla con belleza humana
Guatemala, impresionante y expresionista
Quisiera explorar la cacofonía de colores aquí

5. Ahora, es un Recuerdo
Momentos bonitos que ya están en el pasado
Quiero volver, pero ya no puedo más
Recapturar el mismo sentimiento será imposible
Los recuerdos que compartimos fueron especiales
Yo sé que solo existen en mi mente ahora, pero para mí
Todos mis días voy a recordarlos y a ti también

Having ‘Main Character Energy’ in 2025 and Beyond

“As we enter the new year of 2025, this mindset offers a guide to prioritizing experiences and hobbies that bring both joy and excitement as we aim to lead more fulfilling lives.”

In this age of social media and the constant pressure to prioritize self-expression, the concept of having “main character energy” has recently captured the imagination of popular culture. This recent internet-born slang expression reflects the central idea of viewing your life as a narrative where you’re the protagonist, who is taking charge of your story, and embracing a sense of adventure, purpose, and individuality in what you choose to do in your free time. As we enter the new year of 2025, this mindset offers a guide to prioritizing experiences and hobbies that bring both joy and excitement as we aim to lead more fulfilling lives.

What exactly does it mean to have “main character energy”? At its core, “main character energy” is about seeing yourself as the center of your life, with complete control over what you do, where you go, and who you spend your time with. At its essence, it’s about celebrating authenticity, confidence, and self-awareness. Popular culture has fueled this idea, emphasizing the need to live boldly and create new memories through having unique experiences, both individually and with others in your life.

The concept also ties into the broader cultural shift toward mindfulness and self-care. Being the “main character” doesn’t mean being self-absorbed or ignoring others. Rather, it’s about finding as much meaning as possible in your daily life and curating experiences that reflect your passions and interests. It’s also about stepping out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself with new activities and experiences. Instead of falling into an endless and mundane routine throughout the year, having “main character energy” means starting a new hobby, embarking on a trip to a new place, or learning a skill you’ve been curious about.

Living with “main character energy” is less about the aesthetics of a lifestyle and more about harnessing your mindset and actions. It’s about taking ownership of your narrative and injecting it with moments that make life feel both cinematic and memorable. Here’s how you can channel this energy in 2025:

First, prioritize your experiences over material things. In 2025, we should focus more on trading material possessions for memorable experiences. Whether it’s traveling to a new city or country, trying a new restaurant down the street, taking a salsa dance class, or learning a new language, stepping out of your comfort zone can create unforgettable memories and help you grow as a person.

Additionally, rediscover those hobbies that ignite your creativity or start new ones. Painting, writing, coding, gardening, hiking, or even starting a book club can make your life feel more vibrant and less routine. When you invest in your passions, your life gains greater depth, and you become more connected to your overall story.

Main character moments aren’t reserved for those grand adventures that may occur just once a year or a few times each year. They’re also about making the most of the mundane in our daily lives. Romantic or memorable moments can exist in small, everyday joys, no matter how routine they seem. Sipping coffee in the morning, walking through a park, listening to the birds chirping, or watching a sunset can feel magical when you slow down and savor the moment instead of rushing to the next task.

If you’re a fan of cinema or books, you’ll notice protagonists in movies and novels take leaps of faith and so should you. Apply for that dream job, take a sabbatical to travel the world, confess your feelings to someone you love, or start a side hustle or passion project and see it grow. Bold moves in your life create turning points in your personal story.

Engaging in “main character” activities in your life means intentionally seeking out joy, adventure, and self-expression instead of waiting for them to find you, which rarely happens. It’s about taking a solo trip and feeling the thrill of independence, creating a music playlist that feels like the soundtrack to your life, or hosting a themed dinner party with friends who share your interests and passions. These moments don’t just fill your time or break up your routine; they also enrich your narrative.

In 2025 and beyond, prioritizing “main character energy” means embracing life with a renewed sense of wonder and enthusiasm. It’s about creating the biggest story worth telling: the one of a life, filled with curiosity, courage, and connection. When you step into the role of the main character, you’re not just living life like everyone else is. You are choosing instead to make it truly your own with your own interests, passions, and joys at the forefront, thriving as a result and making the most of the limited time we have on this planet. The best part of embracing the “main character” energy in your own life? The pen is always in your hands to write your own story as you see fit.

How to Evaluate Your Year

“Evaluating the year that has passed can be a valuable exercise for yourself to gain deeper insights, identify growth opportunities for the new year, and celebrate the accomplishments or successes you had.”

2024 is ending soon as I write this article and I do believe it is important to look back on the year that was to evaluate it holistically, such as whether it was good, bad, or a mixed bag. Evaluating the year that has passed can be a valuable exercise for yourself to gain deeper insights, identify growth opportunities for the new year, and celebrate the accomplishments or successes you had.

Reflecting on various aspects of your life, even areas that you can improve upon will help you to set meaningful goals for the year ahead. Here’s a guide I have created on how to evaluate your year comprehensively, focusing on the five major areas of friends, family, relationships, experiences, and work or business.

Friends

Friendships are an essential part of life and key to one’s mental health as a surefire way to stay truly connected and bond over shared activities or hobbies or even lend each other a helping hand. Think about reflecting on your relationships with friends from over the past year. Ask yourself the following questions when doing so:

Giving or Getting Support: Were your friends there for you during challenging times? Were you there for them when they needed you when they were in a rut or needed help? Did they offer emotional or practical support when needed? Could you say the same?
Showing Mutual Effort: Did you invest some effort into maintaining these friendships? Conversely, did your friends reciprocate to make the effort to reach out to you as well?
Quality over Quantity: Did you prioritize meaningful, deep connections over superficial ones with your friends? Were your interactions enriching and positive with your friends?
Encouraging Growth: Did your friendships encourage personal growth or help you broaden your perspective? Did you give each other advice on how to better yourselves?

Document the moments and memories that stood out to you, whether they were fun gatherings, heart-to-heart conversations, or instances where you and your friends supported each other through a difficult time. Evaluate if there were any friendships that became draining or unbalanced and consider whether to address these issues or set boundaries or even cut off the friendship if it isn’t working out.

Family

Family relationships can greatly influence your emotional well-being in both positive but also negative ways depending on your own situation with your family members. I encourage you to reflect on the past year’s interactions with your family members and consider these questions:

Building Connection: Did you spend enough quality time with your family? Were you present and engaged during these moments or were you distracted by your phone or another device?
Conflict Resolution: Were there any unresolved conflicts? How well did you communicate and handle disagreements? Why did those conflicts arise and how can they be avoided next year?
Support System: Did your family serve as a source of strength or encouragement? Were you able to offer the same in return? Did you help each other out in a mutual manner?
Milestones and Memories: Were there any significant events or milestones within your family? How did you contribute to these moments? Did they celebrate your wins this year and did you do the same for them when they had successes?

Think about whether you balanced your time and energy across the various family member dynamics that are constantly evolving each year along with the different personalities that you have in your family. Identify some ways to strengthen bonds with family members next year who may need more of your attention or love than you were able to give up until this point.

Relationships

If you’re in a romantic relationship currently, evaluating this aspect of your life is crucial to keeping it on the right track into next year. Even if you’re single, reflecting on your relationship with yourself or any potential romantic connections is just as important. Ask yourself these questions as you close out the year:

Compatibility: Are you and your partner aligned in your values, goals, and vision for the future? Have you talked about how you felt about the relationships enough in terms of how it is going?
Communication: How effectively did you communicate this year? Were you able to express your needs and listen to your partner’s? Did you handle disagreements respectfully and come to a positive resolution with each other?
Growth: Did your relationship encourage mutual growth? Did you feel supported and loved? Did they support you when you needed it, and have you done the same for them?
Quality Time: How much time did you spend together? Were those moments meaningful and fulfilling? Were you also able to spend time apart in a healthy manner?
Self-Reflection: If you’re single, consider how you’ve nurtured your relationship with yourself. Did you take time to understand your needs, desires, and goals in a potential relationship for next year?

Identify areas where you’ve grown together as a couple or individually when you two were apart. If there were challenges this year, consider how you’ll address them moving forward in your relationship.

Experiences (Travel, Hobbies, Interests, Fun Activities)

Reflect on how you spent your free time outside of work, school, or business and how engaged with life outside of your daily obligations and weekly chores you were. Think about where you went, what you did, what you learned, and how much you enjoyed life beyond the office or the shop or the factory floor. Consider the following in your assessment of your experiences:

Local and International Travel: Did you explore new places, whether locally or internationally? How did these experiences broaden your perspective? What did you learn from the places you traveled to? Would you travel in 2025 and how did you grow as a person in your travels?
Hobbies and Interests: Did you pursue activities that bring you joy or help you grow? Did you try something new? Were you committed to these hobbies and spend enough time on them? What new hobby or interest would you like to try in the new year?
Having Fun and Relaxation: Did you allocate time for leisure and enjoyment? Were you able to strike a balance between work and play? How often were you able to relax yourself?
Making Memories: What were the highlights of your year? Did you attend events, celebrate milestones, or create special moments? Who did you share those memories with?

Take note of the activities, hobbies, interests, etc. that brought you the most happiness and fulfillment. If your year felt monotonous and a bit too routine, think about incorporating more variety or adventure into your life next year. Plan the destinations, places, or cities with regards to travel ahead of time that you hope to visit in the new year.

Work or Business

Your professional or business life is another crucial area to evaluate at the end of any year as it makes up about 80% of our time throughout the year. Reflect on your career or business journey over the past year by asking yourself these questions:

Major Accomplishments: What were your major achievements? Did you meet or exceed your professional goals? What was the process you used to achieve your goals?
Overcoming Challenges: What obstacles did you face, and how did you overcome them? Were there any failures, and what lessons did you learn from them? Who helped you overcome these challenges in your professional or business pursuits?
Professional Growth: Did you acquire new skills, take on new responsibilities, or achieve personal growth in your role? How will these new skills help you next year and beyond?
Managing Work-Life Balance: Were you able to maintain a healthy boundary between work and personal life? Did work leave you feeling fulfilled or drained? Did you take enough time off for vacation or for staying healthy? How did you spend your time outside of work or business?
Establishing Future Goals: Are you satisfied with your current trajectory, or do you feel the need for a change? Did you take steps toward your long-term career aspirations? Will you find a new job next year? Do you plan to launch a new business or company? Will you ask for a raise or promotion and how will you ask this question to your supervisor?

Reflect on whether your work or business aligns with your personal values and passions. If there are gaps in that assessment, start thinking about how to address them in the coming year with regards to making your work or business more personally fulfilling Once you’ve reviewed these areas and answered as many questions in these five major areas as possible, combine your thoughts to identify patterns, strengths, and areas for improvement.

Lastly, think about the following ways generally on how you could make next year the best one yet:

Showing Your Gratitude: What are you most grateful for this year? Acknowledge the people and experiences that enriched your life and made it the year that it was.
Compile Lessons Learned: What did the failures, challenges, and successes of this year teach you? How will these lessons shape your approach to the new year and beyond?
Having Goals for Improvement: What areas need more focus or change from you? How will you set realistic and actionable goals to address these aspects next year?

Evaluating your year holistically gives you a clearer perspective on where you stand in your life and how to move forward in a positive manner. Use this article, the questions I’ve posed and to write a yearly reflection about these five major areas as a substantive foundation for setting meaningful goals and resolutions for the year ahead.