Category: personal development

Unlocking More Freedom By Escaping The Hamster Wheel

“I am hopeful that everyone reading this article can find a way to escape at some point in the sense that you keep pursuing a life that is freer, more fulfilling, and less constricted than what is expected of you rather than what you are wishing for.”

Life can feel a lot like a ‘hamster wheel’ the older you get. The responsibilities, bills, obligations, and societal expectations can pile up without you even noticing at first. The hustle and bustle of life can keep us trapped without a way out. I am hopeful that everyone reading this article can find a way to escape at some point in the sense that you keep pursuing a life that is freer, more fulfilling, and less constricted than what is expected of you rather than what you are wishing for.

It is easy to settle into the steady job, the steady paycheck, the comfort of the ‘daily grind’ despite the dislike of it that a lot of us feel about it. It’s called a ‘grind’ for a reason and while there’s nothing wrong with steady work, paying your bills, and handling your responsibilities like an adult, but it’s about not questioning or working towards a different path that may make you get more out of life and what it has to offer you. You should not resign yourself to a life of constantly chasing something that you don’t even want or what doesn’t make you fulfilled. You should consider the ‘hamster wheel’ as a temporary station and not your permanent status in life.

Society often encourages each of us to take the ‘safe route’ and to ‘climb the ladder’ without thinking about if it’s really fulfilling or giving you the purpose and satisfaction we yearn for as human beings. It’s a cycle of working, earning, spending and saving, and while that’s fine if that’s your choice, I do believe there is more to life than that and you have to try to figure out which path is the right one for you off the wheel.

You may want to get off the proverbial ‘hamster wheel’ if you have a feeling of monotony and boredom each day, there’s a lack of passion or purpose in what you’re doing, and if you’re not earning or having the kind of success you envisioned in your current role in whatever work you are currently doing. Time slips away faster and faster as you age, and you really got to ask yourself more and more is if it’s worth my time and effort. If you’ve aged five years and your goals are still not in reach or if the job or vocation you chosen isn’t doing it for you anymore, you need to have some internal reflection on whether your life is heading in the right direction.

Productivity and achievement can be fulfilling at first but if you find the work to be repetitive, listless, or without any growth, it will often lead to burnout and a lack of overall fulfillment. If you are feeling that days are becoming more listless, directionless, or without any purpose, you may need to adjust your career, your lifestyle, or even your values to decide if where you’re heading is where you want to end up being. If that involves refocusing your priorities to less possessions or less spending or a change in your home location, you may need to shake things up a bit to see if you can get more out of life than you’ve been getting.

I am a fan of routines but if that routine, daily or otherwise, is sucking the life out of you, then you need to change up your routine or lifestyle in a big way. Living freely means not just breaking free of an unfulfilling routine but also creating space for deeper relationships, more creativity in what you do, activities that contribute to personal growth, and diversifying your identity outside of your work and more towards experiences and living more outside of the grind.

If you can’t escape the ‘hamster wheel’, I completely understand but you can still create a more intentional approach to your life. You can still prioritize those things that give you greater satisfaction and meaning including balancing out work, leisure time, and personal development without sacrificing each of these life aspects. Other strategies involve being less materialistic and being minimalistic with your possessions, setting boundaries with people at work and at home, practicing mindfulness in your decision making, and exploring different careers and lifestyles that serve you and not someone else. Those practical steps can help you break free a bit more and help you reclaim control over your life.

Meaningful change takes time and having more personal freedom involves making gradual shifts to where you live, who you work with, how you spend your time, what you prioritize, and how you live your life each day. You don’t need to quit your job today, sell your house, and move to a different city or country, but you can try to make some changes in your life to improve your freedom and choice as much as possible.

Living outside the ‘hamster wheel’ can bring a greater sense of peace, clarity, and contentedness that will allow you to enjoy your time more, bolster your relationships, and allow you to have more experiences that you want to have. Think less of what other think of your life and prioritize a life where you are constrained less about what others think of you and focus more on creating your own joy, happiness, and connections with other people as much as possible. Getting off the hamster wheel fully will not be easy but if you can’t get off now, try to slow down, take measure of what’s working and what isn’t, and make meaningful changes to enjoy life before that spinning wheel comes to an end.

Anatomy of a Scene – ‘Family, Jimmy, Family’ (The Wire)

“This scene that I’ve titled, ‘Family, Jimmy, Family’ feels like it’s not just about the character, Jimmy McNulty, one of the leading roles of the show and a deeply flawed one at that but also could reflect on our own lives and who we prioritize in them.”

Sometimes, it takes a great work of fictional television to cause the viewer to do some soul searching themselves. ‘The Wire’ is not only an excellent crime drama and takes a critical lens to different facets of American society, but there are also multiple scenes that stand out for how they deliver truths to each of their characters for what they themselves are ignorant of or choose to forget. One of those scenes is short but whose succinctness of its message and point-blank delivery is something that you could do a deep analysis of. This scene that I’ve titled, ‘Family, Jimmy, Family’ feels like it’s not just about the character, Jimmy McNulty, one of the leading roles of the show and a deeply flawed one at that but also could reflect on our own lives and who we prioritize in them.

For a little bit of background before diving into the scene itself, which takes place in ‘The Wire’ Season 5, Jimmy McNulty is an obsessive workaholic and a functional alcoholic. His thirst for booze rivals his own thirst for self-satisfaction in being able to solve murders as a detective in the Baltimore Police Department. While he does crave justice, he craves adulation, admiration, and boosting his ego too because of his natural talents with regards to being a lead detective. However, without getting into too many details, the stress of the job, the clashes with his bosses, and the long hours cause him to drink heavily, carouse with random women, and cause him to lose control of his relationship with both his ex-wife and his children.

Jimmy loves being a detective, the purpose that comes with the badge, and the colleagues who he handles cases with. It’s also about the camaraderie that he finds in the work, the all-consuming nature of the work, and by outsmarting criminals and thugs who think they have successfully outwitted him and the police. The thing with letting work consume you is that it takes over your life and suffocates the rest of your identity with it. Jimmy is a great detective but throughout the show, the job takes a toll on his personal life and about separating work from his time out of work. When you have nothing but the job and the people in it, is it really a good life?

The scene I refer to titled, ‘Family, Jimmy, Family’ is instrumental in telling Jimmy McNulty what he needs to hear and what other workaholics need to hear: “The job won’t save you.” It takes five seasons but Beadie Russell, a Baltimore Port Authority police officer, introduced in season two, but for which her and Jimmy start to become romantically involved does what no one else in the show has the courage to do, tell Jimmy that the job isn’t everything.

“In the end, they’re not going to be there either.” Beadie sums it up in less than a minute with this scene but reminds Jimmy that the drinking pals at the bar, the workmates who he shares a patrol car with and shares stories, or even the girls he’s met for quick flings, they won’t be there when he really needs it. Yes, you can have fun, enjoy their company, and make the most of the work hours, but those people won’t be there for you when it comes to your health, wellness, and your overall fulfillment as a person. Beadie indicates to Jimmy that his workaholic behavior and his propensity for alcohol won’t save him and won’t give him the internal satisfaction he is always looking for.

“Family, that’s it. Family, and if you’re lucky, one or two friends who are the same as family. That’s all the best of us get. Everything else just…” Beadie pauses at the end of this scene and lets it all sink in for Jimmy. She knows she has reached him and lets him know that at your funeral or in your last days, you won’t have the girls you dated, the workmates or bosses, or the casual bar buddies you swap stories with there. If you’re lucky, you may have close family to care for you and maybe one or two close friends and that’s the truth of this scene not just for Jimmy McNulty of ‘The Wire’ but for all of us.

Beadie makes it clear that everything else goes away at some point once the job is done, the glasses are empty, and everybody goes their separate ways. Nothing is permanent but maybe your family will be there for you through most of it, thick and thin of life, if you’re lucky and until your dying day if you are truly blessed in that regard. Jimmy knows by the end of the scene that he needs to shift his priorities based on his body language.

He does not say anything back to Beadie, but he knows what she is saying as his new girlfriend is 100% true. It’s been a while since anyone has laid it out to him that clearly, but she gets through to him by telling him the unvarnished truth that he has refused to face up until that point. Like Beadie, we all need someone to cut through the nonsense and tell us what we really need to hear and if you watch this scene from ‘The Wire’, it’s not just Jimmy who this scene can reflect upon but maybe for our own lives too.

We all want to have productive work lives, make friends, and enjoy the fruits of our labor, but we must remember that it all does go away, and that family can be the most important and reliable thing we have throughout our lives if we’re lucky. Workmates, casual buddies and flings, and even friends come and go, but family can sustain us if we nurture those relationships and don’t let them atrophy and go away too.

Beadie reminds Jimmy to not let the work and the environment around his work consume him entirely. She saves him from himself to some degree but telling him what he needs to hear before he spirals out of control as a functioning alcoholic and workaholic. I think we all need a Beadie Russell in our lives to tell us what we need to hear rather than what we want to hear so that we can get that needed support to help reassess our priorities in life and change ourselves for the better.

Control What You Can Control

“Instead of trying to change things that we cannot control, it is best to focus solely on things that we can control and hope that we can make a positive impact on the people around us and the wider world through this kind of ‘ripple effect.’”

There is only so much that we have control over in our lives. We are constantly being influenced and affected by factors outside of our control for which we may not even have any awareness of. There are events that take place each day of our lives that can change our trajectory without us even knowing. We try to make sense of the lack of control we have but it does no good to constantly be wishing things were different if you were to have control where none exists. Instead of trying to change things that we cannot control, it is best to focus solely on things that we can control and hope that we can make a positive impact on the people around us and the wider world through this kind of ‘ripple effect.’

Life is unpredictable each day, filled with uncertainties and unknowns that can provoke anxiety, frustration, and stress within us. From work pressures to global events, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by circumstances that appear beyond our control or influence. In this chaotic and ever-changing world, I believe it’s important to adopt the mindset of “control what you can control” to foster both resilience and personal fulfillment. By focusing on what is within our reach, we gain clarity on what is most important, reduce stress, and strengthen both our mental and physical health, preparing us to navigate the complexities of life.

It’s natural to feel compelled to try to control everything or as much as we can in life, especially in a world that rewards constant achievement and control over one’s surroundings. However, trying to control things that lie outside our influence can lead to a never-ending cycle of frustration and disappointment. Conversely, focusing on what we can control allows us to feel grounded and empowered, fostering inner peace despite external turbulences.

By narrowing our focus on what we have control over, we can manage our energies better and put it toward actions that genuinely make a difference in our lives and for those around us. Concentrating on our own responses, attitudes, and habits lets us sidestep the paralyzing effect of factors beyond our control. This approach is about freeing us from wasting energy on things that simply cannot be changed. Adopting this mindset is not about giving up or avoiding the ills around us but about creating a more productive and healthy approach to life’s challenges.

It’s a fair question to ask at this point in what do we have control over? It is more than you would think based on this list below of what we can control in our life.

  1. Our Attitudes and Perspectives

How we perceive situations has a profound effect on how we experience them. While we may not control the events, we do have control over how we interpret and react to them. Developing a positive or growth-oriented mindset allows us to find lessons, strength, or motivation even in difficult situations. When we focus on what can be gained or learned from the events, setbacks become opportunities for growth rather than new sources of despair.

  1. Our Reactions and Behaviors

Our reactions are among the most tangible aspects we can control in life. Although emotions often arise involuntarily without much forethought, we can practice responding to situations in ways that align with our values. Choosing how to react, rather than allowing automatic responses to take over, is a skill that can be developed with focusing on mindfulness. This life skill enables us to handle our challenges more constructively, turning potential stressors into manageable experiences.

  1. Our Habits and Choices

The habits and routines we cultivate each day play a significant role in our quality of life. We control what we eat, what we drink, how much sleep we get, and how we manage our free time. Positive routines, such as regular exercise, limiting social media content, focusing on healthy eating, and setting aside time for relaxation, create a foundation for resilience and better health. When we invest in these areas of life, we build a stronger buffer against the impact of unexpected difficulties and changes.

  1. Our Goals and Efforts

While outcomes that happen to us or that which affect us are not always within our control, our efforts are in our control. Setting personal goals and consistently working toward them provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. Focusing on the quality of our work, rather than obsessing over the potential results, ensures that our self-worth remains stable regardless of external factors. This effort-oriented mindset helps us feel accomplished and satisfied even in unpredictable and changing environments.

Understanding what lies beyond our control is essential in practicing acceptance and letting go of what is beyond our grasp. These examples include:

  1. Other People’s Actions, Behaviors, and Opinions

Attempting to control how others think, feel, behave, or act is an exhausting and fruitless endeavor. People are influenced by their own experiences, beliefs, and emotions, which we cannot change. Rather than trying to shape others’ opinions or actions, focusing on tolerance, self-respect, and authenticity allows us to establish genuine connections without feeling responsible for people’s behaviors.

  1. External Circumstances and Events

Natural events, market trends, or political shifts are all examples of uncontrollable circumstances that happen to all of us. While we can adapt to these realities and prepare for them to some extent, we cannot dictate or know when they will occur or what the outcome(s) will be. Learning to accept and know that the world will continue to evolve with or without our influence is liberating; it relieves the pressure of feeling responsible for the many forces beyond our own reach.

  1. What Happened In The Past and What Will Happen In The Future

The past is unchangeable as we cannot go back to change anything about it and the future remains uncertain at best. While reflecting on our past experiences can provide insight and comfort to us; dwelling on past mistakes or obsessing over potential future scenarios drains our energy that could be used in the present to improve our daily lives. Embracing the present moment enables us to shape our future without being paralyzed by what it may be or what you think it could be.

When we focus on controlling what is within our reach, we naturally turn inward to cultivate resilience especially when times are tough. Investing in our mental and physical health creates a solid foundation that allows us to weather the storms of life, even those we cannot control at all.

Practicing mindfulness and self-care helps us stay present and reduces anxiety about both the present and future. Activities such as meditation, journaling, painting, or simply spending time in nature help to cultivate a calmer mind. Regular acts of self-care, such as setting boundaries, prioritizing rest, and engaging in hobbies helps nurture a strong mental state. When our minds are balanced, we’re better equipped to face challenges with a clear, calm perspective.

Physical health also supports mental resilience, making daily exercise, balanced nutrition, and sufficient rest, vital components of handling stress and anxiety. Physical exercise releases endorphins, boosts our mood, and reduces out stress. When our bodies are well-nourished and strong from exertion, we can face life’s uncertainties and changes with more stamina and energy.

We can always control who we spend time within our personal lives. Building meaningful connections with others we care about creates a network of support, which is especially important when facing various challenges. We cannot control how others act, but we can control the energy we put into cultivating positive relationships. Trusted friends, family, or networking groups offer encouragement, perspective, and comfort during tough times.

Developing a growth mindset will serve you well throughout life especially in being able to exert more control in areas of professional and personal development. It is key to have an openness to learning from every situation, which helps us adapt and thrive both in the workplace and at home. Life rarely goes exactly as planned, but those who can adapt to those changes we cannot control maintain resilience and will be better off as a result. Investing time in learning new skills, embracing change as much as possible, and nurturing a lifelong curiosity and inquisitiveness empowers each of us to see life’s challenges as opportunities for growth and improvement.

Adopting this philosophy of “control what you can control” is not easy to do but it does empower us to live more peaceful, healthy, and balanced lives. By focusing on what we truly have influence or control over such as our attitudes, learning, reactions, habits, and health builds resilience and clarity. Accepting that certain aspects of life are beyond our control frees us from futile worry and frustration as a result. In this way, we prepare ourselves to not only withstand life’s uncertainties but to thrive amid them, cultivating inner strength and well-being. In the end, it is not about being able to control life itself; rather it is about becoming the best stewards of ourselves as we navigate the beautiful, unpredictable, and uncertain journey that is life itself.

Be Careful Of Who You Associate With

“One key trait that is often undervalued is knowing how to spot someone who is not just friendly, kind, and decent but who values this kind of traits and characteristics in other people whom they surround themselves with professional and/or personally.”

A good way to examine someone’s character and moral values is who they surround themselves with. Whether they are a friend, a family member, a public figure, or even someone in the workplace, you can tell a lot about someone based on who they spend their time with or confide in. One key trait that is often undervalued is knowing how to spot someone who is not just friendly, kind, and decent but who values this kind of traits and characteristics in other people whom they surround themselves with professional and/or personally.

You must be able to get comfortable with both analyzing and understanding how other people act and whether their behavior or their personality will not just be good for you but also whether it is good for other people too. It’s often overlooked but being able to assess accurately the character of a man or a woman is key to keeping potential trouble or problems out of your life as a result. It can take a lot of time to really get to the heart of who someone is but if you feel that you want to truly know that person deeply and how they act not only to you but towards other people, it’s important to spend a lot of time around them not only privately but publicly as well to get a real sense of who they are.

Remember that who you surround yourself with by choice reflects either good or bad on you. We can’t choose our family members, but we can choose who are friends are, who we have a relationship with, which work colleagues we mentor or learn from, and our other associates in our network of personal or professional connections, however casual they may be to us. If you don’t take the time to truly assess someone’s moral compass, their character, and their overall behavior, you may be drawn into negative situations or circumstances that could affect your life badly.

Do not put yourself into those kinds of negative situations in life by choice where you could have instead cut ties with the person(s) who were affecting your life poorly. Be able to say ‘no’, walk away, maintain your distance, or cut ties permanently to preserve your own peace and your own moral character. It is extremely important in life to avoid the sycophants, suckups, liars, cronies, fools, toadies, goons, and flunkeys who can make our life much more complicated or worse as a result.

Life is too short to hang around people of poor behavior and character especially when you have a choice in the matter. That is why it is so key to be careful of the people who you associate with freely. I encourage everyone reading these words to take seriously how you size up your fellow man or woman even if it is a casual connection or someone in your general network of connections. Who you surround yourself with says a lot about a person and you do not want your connections or friends or network to reflect poorly on you.

It is often said that a man’s / woman’s reputation is built over decades but can be lost in minutes or hours. Surround yourself with people of moral fiber and good character and your reputation will be positive as a result. There are so many numerous examples of public figures or well-known people in our society who do such a poor job of surrounding themselves with the right people and it harms so many others as a result. People who cannot judge the character of someone well enough should have no business being a leader or overseeing a company, organization, or a country. Judgment of character is a key skill that must be honed over the course of our lives whether it is thinking of having that person as a friend, a romantic partner, or a business associate.

When you can judge character well and find good people to surround yourself with, the benefits of doing so will reverberate throughout your life. You will have much less stress, anxiety, and experience much less negativity as a result. Your own reputation won’t suffer, and you’ll be able to spend time better with those good people creating both positive experiences and the good memories from them. In addition, you want to have people not only of good character and moral fiber but to have people around you who will tell you the truth, tell you what they really think, let you know when you’re messing up, and who will support you during the good times and the bad.

Being around people who lie to you, mislead you, talk about you behind your back, kiss up to you, or act phony around you are not worth the time or the effort to keep around you at all. It takes a while to really get to know someone but if you let people who you don’t vet or don’t really get to know into your life especially your inner, private life, you are asking for trouble as a result. Maybe you will have fewer friends or a smaller professional network because of your own vetting or analysis of people around you but to me, it’s always better to have a few true friends and associates than a bunch of liars, sycophants, and phonies who tell you what you want to hear rather than what you need to hear.

Please be careful of who you associate with whoever they may be. Be sure to know how to evaluate and assess the people in your life and believe in your own intuition of who a person is and whether they deserve to be part of your life. Remember that who you surround yourself with reflects who you are as a person. Don’t try to be everyone’s friend and have suspect people in your life as a result. Find people of strong moral character, vet them well, and make sure you and they continue to do good and be good to themselves and to others in life.

Always Stand Up to Bullies

“We’ve all dealt with bullying in our lives at one point or another. It can range from verbal slights such as biting sarcasm to full on insults to even threats of physical violence, but these actions all harm the bullied person regardless of the severity or extent.”

We’ve all dealt with bullying in our lives at one point or another. It can range from verbal slights such as biting sarcasm to full on insults to even threats of physical violence, but these actions all harm the bullied person regardless of the severity or extent. For myself, I was unfortunately bullied when I was younger and it’s something that you never truly get over even as you grow older, and it starts to recede to the back of your mind.

Still though, words hurt especially when they come from people you trusted such as a family member or even a friend. Bullying from a stranger is bad, but it’s worse when it comes from people who you liked or respected initially. You should never grow comfortable with being bullied even when you are a young person and if it’s happening to someone you know or care about as well, you should always look to stand up for them or make sure they stand up for themselves in front of the bully.

Bullying is never acceptable from a child let alone a fully grown adult, and it continues way too often in our society not only to children but to adults as well. Usually, the person doing the bullying to others was hurt by other bullies and has become insecure as a result, but that does not give them the right to hurt others in the same way they were hurt. They should instead choose to break the cycle of bullying as it really is a cycle that goes from one person to the other. Even when I was bullied, I didn’t want to do that to other people. Instead, I have learned that you must put your foot down and confront the bully directly. I’m not talking about getting into a war of words with the bully or escalating the situation with them. Instead, you call them out on their bullying, tell them you won’t tolerate the abuse or the rhetoric, and make sure you don’t associate with that person anymore.

Now, I will only make an exception if they apologize and promise it won’t happen again especially if it’s from a friend or a family member. You got to be direct with that person who you still care about and basically let them know that what they said is disrespectful and you don’t want to hear it anymore. Jokes or sarcasm can often disguise bullying, but you have to call it out if it hurts your feelings. If you let them get away with it once, you should be prepared for them to do it again because they’ll feel like they have free reign once you let it slide the first time.

I’ve had instances in my own life where a friend or a family member was disrespectful to me either due to my physical appearance or the way I dressed, and I did not tolerate it. I didn’t shout or didn’t insult them back. Rather, I made sure to let them know that wasn’t polite or kind and I took offense to it. Often, they’ll back down when they’re being called out on it and when you make clear that you’re serious that you were offended. If they do it again, it’s best you cut them out of your life completely or begin to maintain distance from them until they get the message and apologize formally.

If they never apologize or keep doing it, you need to have ‘zero tolerance’ for that bullying kind of behavior even when you were close to the person to begin with or have familial ties. Just because you have a history with that person doesn’t mean it gives them license to take advantage of that relationship or friendship to begin bullying you. These days, you really got to put your foot down and stamp out disrespect and incivility when you see it begin to happen to you. It can be hard as you may not want to lose that person but if it’s harming your emotional or mental health, you’ll be better off cutting that person off from you and spending your time around people instead who value you, respect you, and treat you well.

Just as you would not tolerate bullying from a friend or a family member, the same should be said for a colleague at work, a classmate, or even a stranger on the street. Bullies are often cowards who hide behind their words because it makes them feel better because they are insecure themselves about who they are as a person. You always have a choice on how you react to a bully, whoever they are, but make sure to not accept the bullying, never get used to it, and call the bullying out, and get away from that person(s) who bully you.

If it escalates to become harassment, abuse, or worse, you can get a restraining order, sever contact, or even get the legal authorities involved. There are always options to stop bullying and it should never be tolerated by you. If you’ve been bullied, are being bullied, or worry about bullying, make sure to stand up for yourself, have ‘zero tolerance’ for it, and remember that trading insults will bring you down to the bully’s level, which they enjoy doing.

Instead of escalating and trading insults with the bully, make sure to let them know you call them out on their behavior, preferably in front of other peers, extricate yourself from the situation, prevent that person from seeing you or contacting you again, and highlight the verbal or emotional abuse to other people in the bully’s orbit to make them aware of what the bully has done to you.

Bullying sucks and it’s sad that this article must still be written but whether you’re an adult, a teenager, or a child, you should know that bullies do not have control or power over you. Their words may hurt but they are not a reflection of who you actually are as a person. Hurt people like bullies hurt other people to make themselves feel better. You may be bullied sadly at points in your life, but it is not permanent, and you can choose to remove yourself from the situation and call it out clearly when it happens. By doing that, the bully will be shamed and ridiculed for their bad behavior, and they will likely back down from doing it again.

Don’t be afraid to stand up to the bullies of the world and always call them out on their bad behavior when the time comes for it.

The Importance of Giving Actionable Advice

“Being able to give out actionable advice is a key people skill that will set you apart from other people who dole out advice, but for which is not specific enough, not catered to that person in question, or does not have steps laid out for that person to fulfill.”

It is one thing to give some advice and it is another thing to give actionable advice. What do I mean when I say, ‘actionable advice’? Isn’t all advice ‘actionable’? Not necessarily. You can give someone basic advice that could help them to some degree, but ‘actionable advice’ is about laying out a plan or at least steps from A to Z or at least a few steps in chronological order to help someone achieve a goal, reach an objective, or solve a problem. Being able to give out actionable advice is a key people skill that will set you apart from other people who dole out advice, but for which is not specific enough, not catered to that person in question, or does not have steps laid out for that person to fulfill.

For an example of ‘actionable advice’, if you know someone studying for a professional certification and they need to pass an exam to get the certificate, you can lay out some real advice that could help them step by step. Instead of just telling that person in this hypothetical situation, “good luck and remember to study hard!”, that is basic advice that is redundant at best or insulting at worst because everyone knows they need to study for an exam to pass and they know luck may play a small factor in it, but it’s not helping them any more than they already know they need to study.

In this case, giving ‘actionable advice’ would look like, “hey, I know you’ll study hard but remember to join a study group each week, take 1-2 hours per night to review the exam material, be sure to take a few mock exams to get you ready for the test format, and even make flashcards or practice the concepts with me when you have some free time to do so.” This kind of approach is a perfect example of giving ‘actionable advice’ beyond just to “study hard!” You are really diving deeper with the person preparing for the exam by giving them several ways that they can maximize their study time, improve their knowledge, and show your own investment in them succeeding by asking them about the concepts or questions that may come up on the exam as well as reviewing flash cards with the test taker.

You will really stand out when you give that kind of detailed, actionable advice that lays out a plan for the test taker in this case to improve their odds at success. Most people will stop at the “study hard!” or “good luck!” but if you really care about the person, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or someone you’re in a relationship with, you will want to go further than that to show that you care about them and want to help them to the best of your ability.

When giving ‘Actionable advice’, it comes down to tailoring it to that individual person’s request or need such as acing a job interview, passing a test or exam, planning a trip for a few weeks or a few months, or if they are looking to improve their own finances. Deliberate and meaningful advice involves planning, following through with that plan, and marking your progress each time you fulfill a step or a part of the plan. If you are giving general advice that can be summed up in a few words or a sentence, that advice may help a little but it’s going to be forgotten quickly by the person you’re giving it to, and it won’t easily be remembered.

Taking the time with the person you’re helping means working closely with them, sharing ideas and the plan, holding him or her accountable for if they are following through with the advice, and having hard conversations at times about what their goals, dreams, or objectives really are, and how much they are willing to work for it to succeed.            

Anyone can give ‘boiler plate’ or ‘standard’ advice but if you want to know about who really cares about you and is invested in your success, be sure to give out ‘actionable advice’ instead. If it’s the kind of advice where you’re collaborating with that person, mapping out steps in chronological order to have a full plan, and where you’re ticking off the boxes together along the way in the hopes of reaching the ultimate goal(s) or objective(s), you can rest assured that kind of advice will be remembered for a long time by the person(s) you are helping to succeed.

The next time someone asks you for some advice, don’t ignore them or blow them off. Instead, understand where they’re coming from, what they are hoping to achieve and succeed with, and since they’re coming to you specifically, they really care about your perspective and your past familiarity with what they’re going through. Take the time to help them, build them up, hold them accountable, and chart a path together to help them succeed through sheer hard work and effort.

Deep vs. Superficial Friendships

“The friendships that we create in life come in various types and kinds, from the shallow and fleeting to the profound and enduring, but the idea of friendships in general, are crucial to maintaining a healthy and well-balanced life.”

The friendships that we create in life come in various types and kinds, from the shallow and fleeting to the profound and enduring, but the idea of friendships in general, are crucial to maintaining a healthy and well-balanced life. We must recognize though that there is a stark disparity between having deep friendships and having superficial ones. We should always try to prioritize having the former as much as possible as it is vital in helping with our emotional well-being and it is important to cultivate such enriching and long-lasting bonds when we can in life.

Deep friendships are akin to having actual roots that anchor us, offering solace, support, and understanding amidst life’s tumultuous events. Unlike superficial friendships, which often revolve around surface-level interactions and fleeting interests and hobbies, deep friendships transcend the superficiality of small talk by delving into the depths of our souls. These profound connections are characterized by authenticity, vulnerability, and reciprocity, serving as sanctuaries where we can reveal our true selves without fear of judgment.

The importance of having a deep friendship cannot be overstated. Research in psychology consistently underscores a myriad of benefits, ranging from enhanced emotional resilience to increased lifespan longevity. Deep friendships provide a nurturing environment where individuals can share their joys and sorrows, seek counsel, and celebrate milestones. Moreover, these intimate bonds foster a sense of belonging and validation, buffering against the pangs of loneliness and isolation that plague so many in today’s hyperconnected yet paradoxically lonely world.

Conversely, superficial friendships, while ubiquitous, often leave us feeling hollow and disconnected. In the age of social media, where likes and followers reign supreme, it’s all too easy to confuse online acquaintanceships with genuine friendships. Superficial friendships are characterized by surface-level interactions, revolving around shared activities or interests rather than by having a deep emotional connection or being able to be vulnerable with the other person without judgment or regret. While they may provide fleeting moments of amusement or distraction, they lack the depth and intimacy necessary for true companionship.

American culture, with its emphasis on individualism and instant gratification, often perpetuates the primacy of superficial friendships rather than deeper ones. From the frenetic pace of social gatherings, the inability to have spontaneous meetups with friends without scheduling weeks or months in advance to the superficiality of online interactions, many Americans find themselves these days caught in a whirlwind of shallow connections, neglecting the profound bonds that sustain us throughout our lives. Societal pressures in American culture of projecting a false or inflated image of success and popularity rather than being realistic of what your life is like. This kind of attitude can incentivize people to prioritize quantity over quality when it comes to friendships, leading to a proliferation of superficial ties at the expense of forming genuine connections with others.

This trend is particularly pronounced during the adolescent phase of life, which is a formative period characterized by peer pressure and social conformity. Teenagers, eager to fit in and be accepted, may gravitate towards superficial friendships based on shared interests or social status, neglecting the deeper connections that truly nourish the spirit. Similarly, adults, juggling the demands of career and family, may find themselves ensnared in a web of acquaintanceships, leaving little time or energy for cultivating deep friendships.

How can we resist the allure of superficial friendships and cultivate the depth and authenticity we crave? The first step is awareness, recognizing the differences between superficial and deep friendships and acknowledging the profound impact the latter kind can have on our well-being. Deep friendships are marked by essential qualities such as empathy, trust, and mutual respect, whereas superficial friendships are characterized by shallowness, frivolities, and transience.

Furthermore, cultivating deep friendships requires intentionality and effort. It entails investing both serious time and energy in building and nurturing those meaningful connections, prioritizing quality over quantity when it comes to who your friends really are. This kind of approach may involve initiating vulnerable conversations, actively listening to both our friends’ struggles and triumphs, and showing up for them in times of need, even when it may be inconvenient for you to do so. It also means being willing to reciprocate the same level of vulnerability and support, fostering a sense of mutual trust and understanding between the two people involved. If your friend is going through a personal crisis, or wants to celebrate his success(-es) with you, or needs some advice, will you be there for them through both the good times and the bad? You really must know that answer before you consider it a deep friendship.

It should be noted that fostering deep friendships necessitates setting boundaries and discerning when to invest in relationships that align with our values, beliefs, and nurture our personal growth. This may mean distancing ourselves from toxic or one-sided friendships that drain our energy, our time, and diminish our sense of self-worth. While it can be daunting to confront the discomfort of letting go from any friendship you make because of how difficult it can be to start from scratch with a new person, prioritizing one’s own emotional well-being is essential for fostering deeper and more fulfilling connections for creating more rewarding friendships.

Moreover, we must challenge societal norms that prioritize superficiality over depth and authenticity. This requires redefining our cultural narratives around friendship, valuing vulnerability, and emotional intimacy as essential components of genuine connection. By modeling deep friendships in our own lives and advocating for their importance in our communities, we can shift the cultural paradigm towards one that values quality over quantity in friendships.

The profound impact of deep and enduring friendships on happiness and health cannot be overstated. Research spanning past decades has consistently demonstrated many benefits of having meaningful social connections, from reduced stress and anxiety to improved immune function and physical health. Deep friendships provide a buffer against the inherent stresses of life, offering emotional support and validation during challenging times. When we have friends who truly understand us and care for our well-being rather than just know who our favorite sports team is or what we enjoy doing on weekends, we feel less alone in our struggles and more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs.

Deep friendships help us foster an essential sense of belonging and acceptance that is essential for our psychological well-being. When we can openly share our joys and sorrows with trusted friends, we validate our experiences and affirm our sense of self-worth. This sense of belonging not only enhances our self-esteem but also strengthens our resilience in the face of adversity and challenges. Studies have shown that individuals who have strong social support networks are better equipped to cope with stress, anxiety, and trauma, leading to improved mental and emotional health over time.

Additionally, deep friendships provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery, as we learn from and are inspired by the unique perspectives and experiences of our friends who can relate to what we’re going through each day. In essence, deep and lasting friendships enrich our lives in ways that superficial connections simply cannot replicate, contributing to our overall happiness and well-being in profound and meaningful ways. Having deep friendships is a large part of the bedrock of our emotional well-being, offering solace, support, and understanding in an increasingly superficial and shallow world. Distinguishing between deep and superficial friendships requires having emotional awareness, intentionality, and discernment. By prioritizing authenticity, vulnerability, and reciprocity in our friendships, we can cultivate deeper friendships that nourish the soul and sustain us through life’s tribulations and triumphs.

Always Run The Numbers

“Amidst the chaos and uncertainty surrounding our daily existence, there is a guiding beacon for us, which illuminates the fog of uncertainty and leads us towards success. That beacon for you all is the power of running the numbers.”

You should always be running the numbers in life. By doing this consistently, you’ll be able to make better choices and decisions that could impact your overall destiny. Every choice we make, whether consciously or not, shapes the path we tread for ourselves. Amidst the chaos and uncertainty surrounding our daily existence, there is a guiding beacon for us, which illuminates the fog of uncertainty and leads us towards success. That beacon for you all is the power of running the numbers.

In every aspect of our lives, from career advancement to personal relationships, from financial management to time allocation, running the numbers empowers us to make informed decisions, thereby maximizing our overall lifestyle and potential for success.

In the area of career advancement and pursuit of opportunities, running the numbers is like conducting a cost-benefit analysis of our possible actions. Imagine standing at the crossroads of a fateful career decision such as a new job offer presenting itself, promising higher pay and greater responsibilities. The allure is undeniable to take the new job, but is it truly the right move for you?

By running the numbers, one can evaluate the tangible and intangible costs and benefits associated with the decision. You can start with calculating the potential increase in income against the added workload, hours, and stress. Then, consider the long-term prospects of career growth and personal development from taking this job. Lastly, you should factor in the commute time, the impact on work-life balance, and the job’s alignment with your own personal values and goals.

Running the numbers empowers people to make informed choices rather than succumbing to impulsive desires or societal pressures. It provides a basic framework for assessing the risks and rewards involved in a decision, allowing someone to put themselves forward with confidence and clarity after making a calculated move.

Moreover, in the realm of relationship building, running the numbers fosters authenticity and empathy in forming your relationships. Whether forging new connections or nurturing existing bonds, understanding the dynamics at play, the emotional investment, personality compatibility, mutual respect, helps enable individuals to cultivate better and more worthwhile relationships, which are grounded in trust, care, and understanding.

Beyond both careers and relationships, the importance of running the numbers extends to the realm of financial management and time allocation. In a world where resources are finite, and demands on our finances are seemingly endless, strategic decision-making is paramount to take into consideration.

Budgeting, which is often overlooked yet indispensable to becoming a fully formed person, lies at the heart of having financial stability. By meticulously tracking both your income and your expenses on a consistent basis, individuals will gain better insights into their current spending habits and can identify areas for improvement. Running the numbers reveals possible opportunities for savings, investment, and debt reduction that you may have missed before, helping to pave the way towards having greater financial freedom and security.

Similarly, time, the most precious of all commodities, demands a similar kind of numerical allocation. In a culture beset with constant busyness and distractions, the ability to prioritize tasks and allocate one’s time effectively is a real-life superpower. Running the numbers by evaluating the return on investment for each activity enables someone to focus on endeavors that yield the greatest impact and fulfillment to our own life.

Moreover, by embracing the quantitative approach to time management, individuals cultivate a mindset of both productivity and purpose. They learn to distinguish between the activities that contribute to their long-term goals and those other activities that merely serve as momentary distractions or procrastination traps.

The average person should be ready to do a cost-benefit analysis when deciding on whether to do an activity by weighing the potential gains against the incurred costs. Firstly, the benefits must be evaluated, considering both tangible and intangible gains such as enjoyment, learning, or personal fulfillment. Next, the costs, including time, money, and opportunity costs, should be assessed.

For example, if the activity is a hobby like learning a musical instrument, benefits might include personal growth, relaxation, and skill development. However, the costs would involve purchasing the instrument, dedicating time for practice, and possibly forgoing other activities that you could do instead.

Quantifying these factors allows you to make more informed decisions. Assigning values or ratings to each benefit and cost helps to compare and prioritize your options effectively. If the benefits outweigh the costs significantly, the activity is likely worthwhile. Conversely, if the costs exceed the benefits, the activity should be deemed a waste of time. This kind of decision rests on our own individual preferences, goals, and circumstances. To follow up, doing a regular reassessment ensures that the activities we do align with our evolving priorities, maximizing both personal satisfaction and productivity.

Whether it is applying for jobs, going out on dates, making sales calls to potential clients or customers, you need to be giving yourself the best chance that you have at success. It may not take one time, ten times, or even a hundred times to get the result you are looking for and that’s why part of running the numbers involves improving your odds as much as possible, putting in enough work where you have enough volume or experience in surging those numbers, and then learning from your mistakes or errors when you are partaking in the numbers game.

Taking chances, sometimes more than you would like, will eventually help you succeed with enough perseverance and hard work. Most people will quit after their first attempt or their first rejection but let that person not be you. Keep working at making the calls, asking the woman or man out, hitting ‘send’ on that job application, and eventually you’ll be able to see some progress towards achieving your goals, but it’s going to take a lot of ‘numbers’ to get to where you want to be. Make sure to give yourself enough chances, enough options, and enough experience to where when you get from hearing ‘no’s’ to hearing ‘yes’s’, you’ll be able to take advantage of the shift in the numbers working for you and not against you.

In the grand scheme of things, running the numbers serves as the ultimate conductor, orchestrating harmony, and fomenting balance amidst ever looming chaos. It empowers each of us to navigate the complexities of our daily existence with clarity and confidence, enabling more people to seize opportunities, manage resources effectively, and cultivate a life of purpose and fulfillment.

By embracing the quantitative approach to decision-making and ‘running the numbers’ as much as possible, anyone can transcend the shackles of uncertainty and indecision. The power of numbers can be used as a guiding beacon, illuminating the path towards success and prosperity.

Essentially, running the numbers is not merely a basic tool for living better, it is a mindset, a philosophy, and a way of life. It is the relentless pursuit of greater knowledge and understanding behind the choices that lie before us. It is the unwavering commitment to taking informed action instead of embracing endless speculation. Remember to take the time and the effort to embrace the power of numbers and begin to chart a course to a more successful and prosperous life.

The Virtue of Showing Emotional Restraint

“It’s important to explore the concept of having emotional restraint when facing criticism, the benefits of not escalating the situation to make it worse than it needs to be, and how it demonstrates maturity and grace when you can show restraint in the face of judgment or criticism, whether deserved or not.”

In both professional and personal settings, criticism is an inevitable part of life. Whether it comes from a colleague, a friend, or a family member, criticism can be challenging to navigate but important to embrace if it is justifiable. However, it can be especially difficult when the criticism is unwarranted or unjustified. Therefore, it is crucial to show emotional restraint in these situations, even when it feels difficult, rude, or unfair.

It’s important to explore the concept of having emotional restraint when facing criticism, the benefits of not escalating the situation to make it worse than it needs to be, and how it demonstrates maturity and grace when you can show restraint in the face of judgment or criticism, whether deserved or not.

Emotional restraint is known as the ability to control one’s emotions, particularly in challenging situations. When faced with criticism of something you did or something you said, it is natural to feel a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and sadness. However, acting on these emotions and turning it back on the person(s) doing the criticism of yourself can often lead to negative outcomes. For example, responding to criticism with anger or defensiveness can escalate the situation and damage relationships, sometimes permanently. It can also lead to regrettable actions or words that cannot be taken back without regret or remorse.

On the other hand, showing emotional restraint allows individuals to respond to criticism in a calm, cool, and collected manner. This kind of attitude change can lead to more productive conversations and resolutions to problems that can arise. It also demonstrates emotional maturity and self-control, which are valuable traits in both personal and professional settings that will serve you well in life.

Emotional restraint is crucial in various everyday situations, as it helps maintain composure and fosters healthy relationships with other people. Here are a few examples where having good restraint in everyday situations can come in handy:

  1. Workplace Criticism: When receiving feedback or criticism from a colleague or a supervisor, it’s essential to remain calm and composed and to not react. Reacting impulsively or defensively can escalate the situation and damage your professional relationships. Instead, by showing emotional restraint, it allows for a more constructive dialogue and a better understanding of the feedback that you are getting, whether you feel it’s warranted or not.
  2. Family Disagreements: In family settings, disagreements are common, but reacting emotionally can lead to unnecessary conflict and trauma. By showing emotional restraint, individuals can avoid saying hurtful or insulting things they may regret later and work instead towards a resolution calmly and rationally that will maintain the relationship rather than rupture it.
  3. Social Media Interactions: Online interactions can often lead to heated debates or arguments especially since they are being done behind a screen and not face to face with that person or a group of people. Instead of engaging in a war of words that can seemingly go on forever and escalate to be rude, nasty, or involve insults, you should be exercising emotional restraint, which can help maintain a respectful discourse and prevent the situation from escalating to bullying or harassment.
  4. Customer Service Interactions: Dealing with difficult customers or clients in your work or volunteering often requires having emotional restraint. Remaining calm, kind, and empathetic can help resolve issues more effectively and maintain a positive reputation for the business or company that you’re working or volunteering for.
  5. Traffic Incidents: Road rage is a common issue in our society, but showing restraint can prevent dangerous or deadly situations. Taking a deep breath, maintaining your focus on what you can control on the road, and staying calm and relaxed can help avoid confrontations and maintain safety on the road and help save yourself from an accident or a crash. You never know who you’re dealing with the other car or truck or bus so it’s best to not yell, engage them further, or leave the vehicle at any time to escalate such a dicey situation when it comes to ‘road rage.’

In any of these types of situations, having emotional restraint allows you to handle conflicts and criticism more effectively, fostering healthier relationships, and promoting a more peaceful environment. When faced with receiving criticism which will happen both professionally and personally, it can be tempting to respond in kind or to escalate the situation with the other party. However, this rarely leads to a positive outcome and can make the situation worse. Instead, it often leads to a cycle of negativity and conflict. By showing emotional restraint and not responding in kind to get into an argument or worse, individuals can break this difficult cycle of bad behavior and create a more positive environment.

Not escalating the situation also allows individuals to maintain their dignity and self-respect. It shows that they are confident in themselves and their abilities, and that they do not need to resort to negative behavior to defend themselves from criticism, whether it is justified or not from the other party. This kind of attitude can earn them respect from others including co-workers, romantic partners, or friends, and help to build and maintain stronger relationships when you show positive characteristics in your behavior by not reacting in a negative way.

Emotional restraint is both a sign of emotional maturity and grace. It shows that the person in question can control their emotions and can respond to criticism in a thoughtful and measured way to learn from their mistakes or to just take it in stride by not losing control of their emotions. This can be especially challenging when the criticism is unwarranted or unjustified. However, by showing emotional restraint, individuals can rise above the situation and demonstrate their maturity and grace in their dealings with other people.

Emotional restraint also shows that someone can put the needs of the relationship above their own ego. It shows that they are willing to listen to others’ feedback and consider the other person’s perspective, even if they disagree with it or won’t change because of it. This can lead to more open and honest communication, and ultimately, stronger friendships and relationships.

Overall, it is necessary these days to have emotional restraint as it is a valuable skill that can help individuals navigate criticism in both professional and personal settings. By showing emotional restraint, individuals can respond to criticism in a calm, cool, and collected manner, and avoid escalating the situation further. This kind of behavior from mature adults can lead to more productive conversations, problem solving, and better resolutions, and ultimately, a healthier and happier life by having this kind of outlook on managing your emotions well.

Emotional restraint demonstrates the need for having both maturity and grace and shows that someone should be able to put the needs of the relationship above their own ego or beliefs. Having the capacity for emotional restraint is an important life skill that can help individuals navigate criticism with both dignity and decency.  

Get Used to Rejection

“Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.”

Rejection is never enjoyable nor is it pleasant. It is something you always want to forget immediately and to bury it in the recesses of your brain, never to be thought of or remembered again. However, like death and taxes, I truly believe rejection is an inevitable part of life and it happens to everyone. We can never go through life being accepted for everything or being accepted by everyone. Because rejection is so much a part of our life, it is better to face it head on rather than try to hide from it or ignore it completely.

We never really like to address rejection or talk about when they happen. We often feel that reflects who we are rather than what the other person or job or opportunity is looking for. Sure, there are times where maybe we didn’t put the best foot forward or ace the interview or be able to show the best of ourselves to the person(s) considering us, but often, the rejection itself may be a factor of other circumstances beyond what kind of effort you put in or who you are as a person. Even if you get rejected, it’s not a wholesale rejection of who you are but rather there is incompatibility there to begin with or it just wasn’t going to work out in the long run.

It is very hard for us to predict what we will be accepted or rejected for. That fact makes it even more important for us to put ourselves out there even more because the more no’s you get, the likelier it is you’ll eventually get to the ‘yes.’ As the popular expression goes, “Practice makes perfect,” and I do believe it is necessary to face your rejections head on rather than to just get rejected once and then call it quits, never to go through it again. Giving up entirely should not be an option if you want it that badly and you should not be afraid to try again. Yes, rejection hurts and it stings for a while, but it is better for you to build your self-confidence up and shore up your self-esteem by trying than to go through life being afraid of it.

Getting used to rejection does not mean give up after getting the rejection. No, it means you must understand that rejections will happen but the more you try, the likelier it is you’ll find that job, that relationship, that big sale, etc. that you can be proud of after getting to that ‘yes.’ Being rejected is good for one’s ego in that it both keeps it in check and keeps you humble. Maybe you need to do things differently to get that acceptance or maybe work a bit harder or try something new after getting rejected.

You don’t give up, but you keep working at it, getting better, trying again, or even asking the person(s) who rejected you politely why the rejection happened. Asking about the rejection can be a bit sensitive but it doesn’t hurt to see why it wasn’t the right fit or place for you but if an answer isn’t forthcoming, you should just move on and try your efforts elsewhere.

I’m a New York Jets American football fan but I can’t help but think of the story about former New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, when it comes to a story about rejection. Multiple NFL teams chose other quarterbacks ahead of this Hall of Fame player and 198 players went ahead of him in the draft. They essentially rejected him as a quarterback and didn’t think he had it in him to lead their team to a Super Bowl. I’m sure this would have hurt Tom Brady quite a bit waiting for his name to be called. Expecting to be drafted and waiting through 198 players before you in a draft would have that effect on anyone. I’m sure Tom was discouraged but eventually, the New England Patriots took a chance on him and drafted him 199th in the sixth round.

This kind of rejection likely lit a fire under young Tom Brady especially when New England did not consider him at the time to be the kind of NFL quarterback and legend, he turned out to be. Tom did not let the rejection get to him from the other teams, but it motivated him even more to turn those rejections against those teams who did not think he was worth drafting. He worked harder than any other player on the roster, kept his body in better shape than any other quarterback, and put more time in the film room than many NFL veteran players.

The results speak for themselves today as Tom Brady is widely considered the greatest quarterback of all-time and won seven Super Bowl championships and multiple Most Valuable Player (MVP) awards during his 22-year career. Again, I wish the New York Jets had drafted him in the 1st round so we would be talking about how great of a Jets quarterback he was but rejection by my team led to the Patriots getting him later in the sixth round.

I hope that anecdote about Tom Brady, the Patriots former quarterback, will be a lesson for us all on how rejection, while painful and disappointing, can spur us to still be successful and achieve our goals elsewhere. We all are going to get rejected for something whether it’s a job opportunity, making a sale for our company, asking that cute girl or guy for a date with you, or even not being picked to go on a work trip or getting chosen last for the local kickball team. The key is to take it in stride, move on to another opportunity, continue to work hard, improve, and prove the doubters wrong, and to never, ever give up.

Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. As a child, we don’t know any better when it comes to rejection because it’s so new to us and it hurts the most, but when you’re an adult or even teenager, you should be used to it by now and it should be something that you’re able to handle in a mature manner. It’s never easy but living your life in a way where you avoid it at all costs is neither productive nor healthy. Next time you get rejected, take a deep breath, ask yourself if you put your best effort forward, see where you might have gone wrong or ask for an answer if feasible, and keep moving on and don’t look back. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.