Category: purpose

Anatomy of a Scene – ‘How you been, ya know, besides work?’ (True Detective)

“However, they both are excellent detectives, dedicated to solving crimes, and are each other’s yin and yang by keeping the other one honest.”

True Detective, Season 1 on HBO aired over ten years ago but it’s still regarded as one of the best TV drama seasons of all time. Part of its lore lies in its storyline and direction, but a lot of credit also should go to the lead actors, Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. The two actors who play Rustin ‘Rust’ Cohle and Martin ‘Marty Hart’ respectively do an excellent job of showing these actors at different periods in their lives and careers as detectives with the Louisiana State Police. Both men appear to be opposites at the start and the friction(s) that they have intensify over the year. However, they both are excellent detectives, dedicated to solving crimes, and are each other’s yin and yang by keeping the other one honest.

Few shows since that season of True Detective or the seasons of the popular anthology series since the 1st season with Rust and Marty have achieved the same level of on-screen chemistry and presence. It helps that off-screen both actors are close friends and have known each other for decades. They’ve been quoted as almost being like ‘brothers’ sharing the same sense of humor, profession, and having different hobbies in common. While True Detective with Marty and Rust happened over ten years ago, there are rumors swirling around that both characters could come back in the future for another story by showrunner Nic Pizzolatto.

One scene on the show that really sums up their rocky relationship and occurs later in their troubled careers. Not only do they have unfinished business with each other in terms of reconnecting and perhaps getting over their troubled past but also to attend to possibly solving a murder mystery central to the season’s plot. At this point in the season, they are older, not on the force anymore as detectives, and life has both affected them in different ways including estranging them from their former family and friends.

Marty Hart, for example, is balding, lives alone after separating from his now ex-wife, and doesn’t have sole custody of his daughters anymore. He doesn’t cook much (it’s implied), likes to fish for a hobby, has trouble finding purpose in his current job, and has resorted to online dating (unsuccessfully so far) even though he insists it’s ‘casual’, but likely wants to have a new relationship via Match.com. Rust Cohle, has grown his hair and beard out, looks a bit older due to his smoking and drinking habit, owns a bar in rural Louisiana, is isolated but does seem to enjoy the quiet of living by himself and spending time watching the sunset each night while drinking a beer.

You can tell by the montage of this scene in the show that as the years gone by, they’ve lost connection not only to their purpose and to each other, but also to what made truly worth living. They may have other jobs and maybe some other things keeping them going, but they miss the work they did, the past relationships they squandered, and even each other begrudgingly.

While the montage showing them settling into middle age monotony may be unsettling, the short scene does give them a chance to reconnect again, get to know each other on a personal level outside of detective work, and work together to find a purpose again. In this case, there’s a murder mystery to solve and they cannot do it by themselves. Since they both are single, one divorced and the other non-committal to it, seemingly estranged from their current work and lacking purpose, they need each other ten years later more than they could ever know.

Life can get lonely without friends or family but especially if there’s no one around to help you find your purpose. I think that’s why this scene is so key within the show is that it shows Marty and Rust may feel like they’re alone, but they do have each other despite their past differences. Sometimes, you must go through some solitary times in life to find out what you really want to do or who you really want to spend your time with. Rust knows he is alone as the scene makes clear, but he has made peace with the loneliness even if he might wish for a girlfriend or a friend to drop by the bar after it closes. Marty had a marriage and a good relationship with his children but unfortunately, he was not able to balance it with his work life and his infidelity.

The scene’s montage shows the years have been a bit hard on Marty as he tries to rekindle what he once had but being unsuccessful at doing so. The montage shows you just how precious our situation can be with work, with love, and with family, and that you can’t go back and change the past. As much as you might wish to catch lightning in the bottle twice as is the case with Marty in terms of finding love or companionship, sometimes, those second chances never come around. The fact that they each have each other in their lives again, even with their storied pasts, is a good thing and shows that they still have an innate purpose regarding their work as detectives and that they are better off working together than being apart. In time, they will get back their skillset, work to solve the case, and even become friends again, which can help put their loneliness at bay.

While this scene of them living isolated lives may be looked on as depressing, I think it is a realistic look at how life can get as you get older. You may have to deal with periods of loneliness or getting swept up in a routine that grows stale. However, it’s important to remember for all of us watching is that life throws us curveballs sometimes and you never know who will appear in your life again or what kind of purpose and worth you can find in the most unlikely of places. For Marty, it was seeing Rust’s trust again on the road after ten years as they drove on the same road, and there was more to their story together, and they think they were both happy to find each other again and work towards getting their sense of purpose back together.

Unlocking More Freedom By Escaping The Hamster Wheel

“I am hopeful that everyone reading this article can find a way to escape at some point in the sense that you keep pursuing a life that is freer, more fulfilling, and less constricted than what is expected of you rather than what you are wishing for.”

Life can feel a lot like a ‘hamster wheel’ the older you get. The responsibilities, bills, obligations, and societal expectations can pile up without you even noticing at first. The hustle and bustle of life can keep us trapped without a way out. I am hopeful that everyone reading this article can find a way to escape at some point in the sense that you keep pursuing a life that is freer, more fulfilling, and less constricted than what is expected of you rather than what you are wishing for.

It is easy to settle into the steady job, the steady paycheck, the comfort of the ‘daily grind’ despite the dislike of it that a lot of us feel about it. It’s called a ‘grind’ for a reason and while there’s nothing wrong with steady work, paying your bills, and handling your responsibilities like an adult, but it’s about not questioning or working towards a different path that may make you get more out of life and what it has to offer you. You should not resign yourself to a life of constantly chasing something that you don’t even want or what doesn’t make you fulfilled. You should consider the ‘hamster wheel’ as a temporary station and not your permanent status in life.

Society often encourages each of us to take the ‘safe route’ and to ‘climb the ladder’ without thinking about if it’s really fulfilling or giving you the purpose and satisfaction we yearn for as human beings. It’s a cycle of working, earning, spending and saving, and while that’s fine if that’s your choice, I do believe there is more to life than that and you have to try to figure out which path is the right one for you off the wheel.

You may want to get off the proverbial ‘hamster wheel’ if you have a feeling of monotony and boredom each day, there’s a lack of passion or purpose in what you’re doing, and if you’re not earning or having the kind of success you envisioned in your current role in whatever work you are currently doing. Time slips away faster and faster as you age, and you really got to ask yourself more and more is if it’s worth my time and effort. If you’ve aged five years and your goals are still not in reach or if the job or vocation you chosen isn’t doing it for you anymore, you need to have some internal reflection on whether your life is heading in the right direction.

Productivity and achievement can be fulfilling at first but if you find the work to be repetitive, listless, or without any growth, it will often lead to burnout and a lack of overall fulfillment. If you are feeling that days are becoming more listless, directionless, or without any purpose, you may need to adjust your career, your lifestyle, or even your values to decide if where you’re heading is where you want to end up being. If that involves refocusing your priorities to less possessions or less spending or a change in your home location, you may need to shake things up a bit to see if you can get more out of life than you’ve been getting.

I am a fan of routines but if that routine, daily or otherwise, is sucking the life out of you, then you need to change up your routine or lifestyle in a big way. Living freely means not just breaking free of an unfulfilling routine but also creating space for deeper relationships, more creativity in what you do, activities that contribute to personal growth, and diversifying your identity outside of your work and more towards experiences and living more outside of the grind.

If you can’t escape the ‘hamster wheel’, I completely understand but you can still create a more intentional approach to your life. You can still prioritize those things that give you greater satisfaction and meaning including balancing out work, leisure time, and personal development without sacrificing each of these life aspects. Other strategies involve being less materialistic and being minimalistic with your possessions, setting boundaries with people at work and at home, practicing mindfulness in your decision making, and exploring different careers and lifestyles that serve you and not someone else. Those practical steps can help you break free a bit more and help you reclaim control over your life.

Meaningful change takes time and having more personal freedom involves making gradual shifts to where you live, who you work with, how you spend your time, what you prioritize, and how you live your life each day. You don’t need to quit your job today, sell your house, and move to a different city or country, but you can try to make some changes in your life to improve your freedom and choice as much as possible.

Living outside the ‘hamster wheel’ can bring a greater sense of peace, clarity, and contentedness that will allow you to enjoy your time more, bolster your relationships, and allow you to have more experiences that you want to have. Think less of what other think of your life and prioritize a life where you are constrained less about what others think of you and focus more on creating your own joy, happiness, and connections with other people as much as possible. Getting off the hamster wheel fully will not be easy but if you can’t get off now, try to slow down, take measure of what’s working and what isn’t, and make meaningful changes to enjoy life before that spinning wheel comes to an end.

Getting Off The Hedonistic Treadmill

“It is important to explore the pitfalls of exclusively chasing after hedonistic pleasures and why it’s crucial to get off the hedonistic treadmill.”

In our modern world that often seems primarily consumed by the pursuit of pleasure and instant gratification, the philosophy of ‘hedonism’, which advocates for the maximization of pleasure and the minimization of pain, has found its way into the hearts and minds of many people in our society. However, if we undergo a critical examination of the pursuit of hedonism for its own sake, it reveals a complex interplay between short-term pleasure and long-term well-being. It is important to explore the pitfalls of exclusively chasing after hedonistic pleasures and why it’s crucial to get off the hedonistic treadmill.

The hedonistic treadmill is a concept that is defined by how a person can be on a constant pursuit of pleasure, akin to running on a treadmill that never stops like a hamster looking to constantly drink from the waterspout in its cage or have a morsel of food released that it can devour. Despite one’s efforts to increase their well-being by seeking pleasure, individuals find themselves in a perpetual cycle where the happiness derived from hedonistic pursuits is fleeting, short-lived, and can’t match their prior pleasure intake. This treadmill effect occurs because as people experience pleasure, their expectations rise, and what once brought joy and satisfaction becomes the new baseline for the future. Consequently, a person must constantly seek higher and more intense pleasures to maintain the same level of satisfaction as they had experienced before.

At the heart of hedonism is the pursuit of dopamine hits, defined as ‘the brain’s reward neurotransmitter’ that is released in response to pleasurable stimuli. Whether it’s indulging in rich foods, drinks, smoking a cigar or cigarette, engaging in impulsive behaviors like skydiving, sports betting, or seeking another kind of immediate gratification, the dopamine rush provides a temporary sense of euphoria that we seek to replicate more and more. However, relying on these short-term pleasures can have detrimental effects on our long-term well-being.

The more individuals indulge in hedonistic behaviors solely for the sake of having pleasure, the more our brains become desensitized to the dopamine rush. This desensitization leads to a reduced ability to experience pleasure from the same stimuli over time. As a result, individuals may find themselves trapped in a cycle of escalating hedonistic pursuits, constantly searching for more intense experiences, to recapture the initial pleasure that they felt when experiencing it for the first time.

Hedonism fosters a tolerance to pleasure, where the same stimuli that once brought joy or happiness lose its effectiveness. This tolerance often drives individuals to seek novel and riskier experiences to elicit the same level of satisfaction. The pursuit of novelty, especially in different areas of pleasure, can lead to reckless behaviors, as individuals become increasingly desensitized and crave ever more intense experiences to maintain their hedonistic highs.

The relentless pursuit of hedonistic pleasure can take a toll on our mental health. The fleeting nature of pleasure on the hedonistic treadmill can contribute to feelings of emptiness, anxiety, and even depression when the anticipated happiness doesn’t materialize or quickly dissipates. The constant need for more pleasure can create a vicious cycle that undermines mental well-being and prevents the cultivation of lasting contentment.

Hedonism, when pursued exclusively, can create an illusion of fulfillment. Individuals may mistake the pursuit of immediate pleasures for overall life satisfaction, only to realize that the pursuit itself was devoid of deeper meaning. The fleeting nature of hedonistic pleasure leaves individuals yearning for a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment that goes beyond the momentary highs of pleasure-seeking.

In the relentless pursuit of hedonistic pleasures, individuals may inadvertently neglect the development and maintenance of their personal and professional relationships. The focus on self-gratification can lead to a disregard for the emotional needs and connections with others, hindering the development of supportive social networks that are essential for long-term well-being.

Hedonic adaptation is a psychological phenomenon wherein individuals return to a baseline level of happiness despite the positive or negative changes in their lives. This adaptation undermines the long-term effectiveness of hedonistic pursuits, as the pleasure derived from external sources tends to be temporary in nature. Understanding hedonic adaptation highlights the futility of relying solely on external stimulus for achieving lasting happiness and emphasizes the importance of internal factors such as mindset, gratitude, selflessness, and purpose.

While hedonism focuses on the pursuit of pleasure, ‘eudaimonia’, a concept rooted in Ancient Greek philosophy, emphasizes the pursuit of a meaningful and purposeful life. Eudaimonia involves living in a state of well-being, which aligns with one’s own values and contributes to personal growth but also the welfare of others in your life. Eudaimonia encourages individuals to seek their fulfillment through meaningful pursuits that go beyond momentary pleasures. By engaging in activities that align with your personal values and contributes to your personal growth, one can foster a deeper and more enduring sense of well-being.

Unlike hedonism, which can leave individuals vulnerable to the whims of external circumstances such as if the pleasure is achieved or not, eudaimonia promotes resilience. By focusing on internal strengths, values, and personal growth, individuals can weather life’s challenges with a sense of purpose and a resilient mindset.

Eudaimonia places a strong emphasis on the cultivation of positive and meaningful relationships at its core philosophy. Unlike the isolating nature of hedonistic pursuits for one’s own personal gratification, it is better to be building and maintaining connections with other people in your life, which contributes significantly to one’s long-term well-being.

The pursuit of hedonism for its own sake, driven by the relentless chase for dopamine hits, from lust to money to material items, can lead individuals into a never-ending cycle of escalating pleasures on the hedonistic treadmill. The ephemeral nature of these pleasures, coupled with the diminishing sensitivity to any kind of pleasure gained and an escalating tolerance to its achievement, poses a serious threat to any person’s long-term well-being and overall mental health.

It is crucial that we all recognize the limitations of pursuing hedonism, especially as the number one purpose in one’s life above all other priorities. I believe it is necessary to consider alternative paths to well-being, such as eudaimonia. By embracing a life of meaning, purpose, and both deeper and positive relationships, anybody can break free from the hedonistic treadmill and cultivate a more enduring and fulfilling sense of overall well-being. While pleasure has its place in a balanced life of moderating one’s impulses and desires, it should not be the sole driver of one’s overall pursuit of happiness. Ultimately, a life well-lived is one that combines pleasure with purpose, which creates a sustainable foundation for long-term contentment and fulfillment.

A Life Well Lived According to Emerson

“Emerson was not a man who saw success in only the material or popular means that is often the case of how individuals measure success today. Instead, Emerson believed success in life was about much more than fame, fortune, and overall popularity.”

Whenever I am looking for inspiration in my own life whether it comes to how to develop myself professionally or to be better on a personal level with others, I like to refer to the excellent quote on success and on a well-lived life by American essayist, philosopher, abolitionist, and 19th century transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson was not a man who saw success in only the material or popular means that is often the case of how individuals measure success today. Instead, Emerson believed success in life was about much more than fame, fortune, and overall popularity.

Emerson saw success and life itself as leaving the world a little better than when you found it. He believed in the importance of caring for nature, of having good relationships with other people, of honing your craft professionally in whatever you were passionate about, and of caring for family or friends who could rely upon your kindness and care. This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson has always been a favorite of mine because while it was a conventional means of measuring a life well lived or a ‘successful’ life in the 19th century; I believe that too often today, we measure a ‘good life’ in shallow and often selfish ways.

In the era of the transcendentalist movement, there was much more to life than accruing things for material worth, or showing off how much money you had, or thinking that because you have more you are then better than someone else. On the contrary, Emerson and other thinkers of that movement believed in progressive ideals of equality, justice, and fairness. They believed in giving back to others in whatever way was possible and to do so consistently. While it was not a religious movement, it was based around individual actions to help a larger community or society.

It did not shun personal success or individual wants or needs as being unnecessary, but it asked people to believe in the power of working together to a common goal or cause, treating your fellow man or women with respect, fairness, and dignity, and to believe in giving back through charity, through helping others, and to be of good character not just in words but in actual deeds. Emerson like others were idealists and believed in the goodness of humanity despite the dark impulses that can lead us astray. While we are unique individuals of free will, we must never forget to care for our family or our friends, or nature itself which is gift not to be squandered.

The actual quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson is a long yet impactful one that touches on many different parts of one’s success in life that must not be ignored. When most people define success in a singular manner and often involving their own joy and happiness, Emerson does quite the contrary by arguing that success or a good life is based on how we leave the world after we depart from the Earth and what do we do in life to leave those around us better off than they were before. Above all else, Emerson asks the reader to imagine how they can impact the world in their own way for the betterment of not just themselves but for others as well and humanity.

In the quote, he does not ignore our hierarchy of mental needs such as the need to be respected by others, to laugh often with friends, to be appreciated for what we do, to be able to overcome adversity such as suffering betrayal, which is inevitable at points in our lives but to also appreciate the beauty around us because it is temporary in life as well. Fulfilling that life well lived according to Emerson is not just about being there for others but also being there for ourselves mentally by having our emotional needs met and fulfilled with joy, happiness, laughter, kindness, respect, and overcoming negative emotions such as betrayal and deceit.

“What is success?…
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you look at this memorable quote from Emerson, he prioritizes in life partaking in individual joy in the form of laughter most importantly. He also indicates the need to be respected by other people especially who you choose to associate with as being intelligent either emotionally or figuratively. He also discusses the need to be compassionate towards children, whether they are your own or not. Knowing that critics are inevitable in various avenues of life, Emerson seeks that any individual appreciate the critics who are honest about him or her and asks the reader of the quote to be mindful of those who want you to improve and to try to do right by them in becoming better at what you do.

Emerson also asks that while some friends are necessary to have in life; we must be prepared for betrayals that can occur from those who you thought were friends but were rather only looking out for themselves. Even though others, even friends and family members will let us down at times, we should still seek to see the good in others and to try to get the best out of everyone we meet. Human beings are fallible creatures, Emerson would say, but we should try to look for signs of redemption and efforts of good faith because people deserve to show you that they have good in them, and they can rectify their wrong doings often when they are given a real chance.

Despite facing inevitable criticism, betrayal, and disappointments throughout life, we must stop and take time to appreciate life itself for all its natural beauty. It will calm us down, put our lives in perspective, and think of a world much bigger than our own internal musings. Because of the sheer beauty surrounding us that we can often fail to fully appreciate, this divine beauty should inspire us to be caretakers of this world that we inherited at our birth and to be true guardians of the planet for the next generations. He includes in his musings on success in life to include leaving the world ‘a bit better.’ As individuals, we can only do so much for the state of the world, but if we all pitch in to do our part, that will cause massive change to occur on a societal and global level.

Leaving the world, a bit better is not just about recycling or not littering or being aware of how you’re affecting the natural world with consumption but it’s also about beautifying the world too. Whether it is cleaning a park littered with trash or creating a garden patch for others to enjoy or deciding to walk instead of driving a car, little actions like these by individuals can leave the world better off than before. I saw this kind of contagious effect working with others as a volunteer lately in helping to create a new vegetable and flower garden for a youth center in Washington, DC. Getting your hands dirty, beautifying a small part of the neighborhood, and having others pitch in to help is one of the best feelings one can have in life. It’s not often in our lives when we get to see a positive change happen in real life but creating a garden or even beautifying a park has a large ‘ripple effect’ that can change the world for the better even if it is on a small scale.

Emerson lasts mentions that if you have a child or care for one in your custody that to ensure their health and happiness is one of the great joys of living and contributes to improving the world in a measurable way. Giving back to nature and to other people is a consistent theme in this quote by Emerson and to redeem a societal condition such as creating a garden, raising a child, or being a mentor to a friend who needs your help will not only be doing good for you but for others as well. Ralph Waldo Emerson finishes his quote to sum up success in life and having a good life as coming down to fundamentally whether because you lived, did others live easier because of your presence? Was someone or something healthier, happier, or more fulfilled because you were there? These are important questions to ask yourself. In your life, are you just in it for the fame, fortune, and your own personal gratification? Or are you living your life to leave a legacy that can do some good in the world in some measurable way?

Emerson never mentions personal gratification such as having a lot of money or being popular as keys to a life well-lived and I agree with him. Emerson prioritizes the fact that after we depart from this Earth, what will we be remembered by? What contribution to others and our society did we make? Are people in our lives better or worse off because of your existence? That is what true ‘success’ means in the long-run and that a life well-lived should be based around. I hope that you take this excellent quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson to heart as I have. It’s a brilliant piece of wisdom that gives each of us steps to make the most of our remaining days on this Earth. Let the joy, laughter, beauty, conscientiousness, and unselfishness among other characteristics that he mentions as being the keys to a life well-lived guide you in all your days here.

Anatomy of a Scene – ‘At A Crossroads’

“Sometimes, the only way to move forward in life is to look for a sign or in this case, a person to help guide you in the right direction.”

“You look lost.” “I do?” “Where you headed?”, “Well, I was just about to figure that out.”

There are moments in life where the road ahead looks vague and uncertain, where we struggle to figure out what happens next or what should we do next. You can have a map with you, and you have an idea of where you want to go but there are four directions ahead and you’re not sure whether to go north, south, east, or west. Sometimes, the only way to move forward in life is to look for a sign or in this case, a person to help guide you in the right direction.

A brilliant movie in its own right, ‘Cast Away’ is about a man whose life is upended by mother nature and who will never be the same again. Without spoiling too much of the movie, Chuck (the main character) loses years away from his wife, his job, and his lifestyle and while he was away from it all, the world moved on without him. Most heartbreakingly, he cannot get back the time he lost working for FedEx or being with his wife or integrating back into his former lifestyle after having his life upended by mother nature.

Similar to how oftentimes in our lives, people move on without us. Friendships sometimes end, romantic partnerships fizzle out, and loved ones can grow distant from us on purpose or by accident. The message of the ‘Crossroads’ scene that I have included above is that life goes on with or without us and if we are still here on the planet, we cannot hold on too tightly to the past and must instead try to chart a new path forward even when that is often difficult to do.

This particular movie scene is one that a lot of us can relate to right away. You’ve finished your education, maybe you’ve quit a job, or you decided to retire and are wondering, ‘what’s next?’, which is an essential question of the human condition. It is hard to pause when you’ve had a routine upended or a part of your life just end one day, and you are not sure what will come next. You may have a couple of choices pulling you in different directions and you are looking for a sign of what to do next. Sometimes, that sign comes to you based on a significant item, object, or memory that pulls you in a certain direction but oftentimes, we just have to make the best decision that we have based on our thoughts and assumptions on the way forward. After making ‘crossroads’ decisions of my own in life, what’s important to realize is you have to make some choice and not stagnate in your own worries about what could happen. The worst decision would be to make no choice at all and let your life stay in a perpetual kind of limbo. Chuck was close to doing just that in ‘Cast Away’ before he found the sign that he needed in an unlikely place.

This ‘Crossroads’ scene starts exactly with that image of a crossroads on a non-descript road in middle America, which could be Kansas but is actually somewhere in rural Texas. Chuck, our protagonist, looks lost as he gets out of his car at this dirt crossroads, takes a big gulp of water in the hot Texan sun, and gets his large USA map out to chart his next decision. He just left the house of someone whose package with ‘angel wings’ helped him a lot during his isolation from civilization and for which he brought back their package as a way of thanking him or her. The people in Chuck’s life have moved on without him and he is not sure what comes next given he is a free man after years away from people but at the same time has lost his wife, his job, and his previous lifestyle to one fateful event that was out of his control, and which seemed like an act of God or mother nature.

Any part of this scenario would frighten and subdue even the most resilient person in the world, but Chuck is resilient albeit perplexed on how he ended up where he is without a sign of a compass to chart his way forward. When Chuck reaches this four-way crossroads and stops to check his map, a woman in a red, flatbed truck comes up to greet him and see if he needs any help and if ‘he is lost.’ She tries to give him advice on whether to go north to Canada, west to California, or eastward bound to the coast but he seems resilient if not a bit stubborn after being on his own for so long. Still though, the redheaded woman is kind and sweet in her manner and she says back to Chuck, “well, alright, good luck, cowboy!”

As the sweet-natured woman starts to drive away in her truck, Chuck notices something he’s seen before. A pair of yellow angel wings at the back of her truck’s bumper that he’s seen before on the package he had with him all those years. He knows now that the package he delivered was the one to her house and it was her package! A range of emotions hit Chuck all at once as he becomes shocked, bemused, and then pensive as if he should follow her or not.

Most intriguingly, towards the end of this scene, chuck now with the first sign in a while of where he might go next in life, stands in the middle of the four-way crossroads thinking about the woman whose package had such a big impact on him in his years-long solitude and how likely it is that he finds her attractive as well as kind. The camera pans out to show him in the middle of the crossroads looking at the different directions where he could possibly go next but then the camera lingers on his face as he moves to the direction where he really wants to go. It is the redhead’s truck’s direction down the long, sloping road ahead and Chuck begins to smile as he finally knows where to the long road of his life should end up next.

It is a very poignant and moving scene as we all must make decisions like Chuck in terms of where we want to go next in life. These decisions are hard to make and sometimes involve real regrets but also lead to joy, peace, and happiness. We must do our best to choose wisely in life, but like Chuck did, we must look for the signs where and when we can, and then we must make a choice because not making a choice is not living at all, it is merely existing and that is no way to go through life.

‘Everything In Its Right Place’ (A Video Retrospective)

It’s hard to really love most music videos today which tend to be shallow and lacking in any original thought. During past decades leading up to the 2000’s, it seems like actual effort and work was put into music videos of songs in order to get on MTV but also to highlight the themes of the song as well as the entire album. There are a number of my favorite artists who produce great music videos including Radiohead, The Smashing Pumpkins, U2, Oasis, Dave Matthews Band, etc.

However, MTV and official music videos are not what they used to be. In an age of instant gratification and live concerts being streamed of the songs you love, it’s hard to appreciate music videos as being part of an increasingly crowded creative marketplace. While official music videos may be dying, creative videos and covers of songs from our favorite artists seem to be on the rise. Considering that music videos are usually for hit singles of certain songs and not for entire albums, there has started to be a movement towards producing independent music videos for songs that never received the official ‘music video’ song treatment.

The rise of YouTube and other video platforms has allowed creative people who are fans of good music to produce their own music videos. While they started out as being kind of cliché or very amateur, they are now becoming very professional and also very related to the lyrics of the song in question. I saw a particular music video of a favorite song of mine featured on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. The song is ‘Everything in Its Right Place’ by Radiohead and it is an excellent song by my favorite band but the one thing that this song never had was its own brilliant music video to go with it.

Because of YouTube, the creative skills of a fan named ‘Capitao Ahab’, which is a pretty fun name in its own right, although I believe the original video creator’s name is Joschka Laukeninks who created it and titled it ‘BACKSTORY.’ It is a now an unofficial music video on the popular video platform that is really well done and professionally shot that has received almost two million views. A video like this would not have existed ten years ago but luckily it does. Part of the reason why this music video is so impactful is that it works so well with the content of this particular Radiohead song.

‘Everything in Its Right Place’ like many of Radiohead’s songs are open to interpretation but it is soothing with its use of synthesizers, digitally manipulated voices, and haunting electronic sounds that sound comforting when you have your headphones on at full blast. The lyric itself of ‘Everything in Its Right Place’ focuses on how to maintain your composure and your levelheadedness as you go through life. The fan music video’s storyline of a baby becoming a boy, a man, and then an elderly man highlights the ups and downs of life and how there are ‘two colors in my head.’

The ‘two colors’ could be interpreted as the good and the bad that you will go through as you go through life’s uncertain and mysterious waters. In particular, the song begins with the oft-repeated lyric of ‘Kid A’, the title of Radiohead’s 2000 album and expresses the experiences of a ‘boy’ as he is born, grows up, matures, and eventually dies. “Yesterday, I woke up sucking on a lemon.” Is also a lyric up to the fan’s interpretation but it implies that life can be sour as well as sweet and that you will have to taste and swallow the bitterness of life if you want to enjoy the sweet part of the fruit.

The music video begins on a hopeful note as a baby boy gains his first steps as he walks through his parents’ house. The sweetness of his childhood is referenced with meeting animals for the first time, having his 6th birthday, going to the beach, and experiencing pure joy at that age. Childhood innocence does not last forever so the boy ends up experiencing his first pains in life including the accidental burning down of his house, fights between his mother and his father, the divorce and exit of his mother from his life, pressures from his father to succeed as he ages into being a teenager.

Learning in school, riding his bicycle, summer days at the swimming pool are some of the joys of teenage life including his first experiences with girls as well with drugs and late nights with friends. Still though, the joys of discovery and youth are balanced out by his struggles with partying too much, getting into rights, being angry at the world and dealing with bad breakups. In one part of the video, the teenager emerges from the pool as a young man ready to take on the world in his 20’s. He thinks his partying days and life as a Bachelor will last forever until he stares at the woman of his dreams on New Year’s Eve and she stares back signaling a new relationship that will change his life.

They date, travel, live together, and the young man eventually proposes to the woman of his dreams. As the video speeds up, so does the aging and life of the man as he gets married, celebrates the birth of his child, and gets ready for middle-aged challenges and prospects. Moving into a house as newlyweds, getting a better job, moving up the corporate ladder, using his new car, traveling for work, going to important meetings, and shuffling along while growing a beard signifies how fast life speeds up the older you become. Sometimes, you’re running so fast that you can’t keep track of who or what you are. In the video, the man still remembers the little blissful moments of carrying his child with his beloved wife, family dinners, and trying to balance work and family until tragedy suddenly strikes.

The hardest part of life is unforeseen tragedies and we hope and pray to never experience any to happen, but this man has the tragic occurrence of seeing his wife and child running towards him across the street only to be hit by a bus and to be taken off life support. The song’s crescendo builds up as the man struggles through grief, longing, and how to move on when he knows he can’t but has to anyway. After the tragedy, what once was promising is now dull and at once he was fast to move through the world, he staggers slowly through it wondering what it is all worth and why keep going? How can one fill the void in their own heart when it was taken out of them and cannot be put back?

We see the man continue with his work, entertaining clients, meeting a new woman and getting married again but there is the lingering sense that it is not what he envisioned his life to be. He can have a child with her, but it won’t be the same as his first true love or bring back his first child. Trying to fill the void with an extramarital affair, fighting with his new wife, jogging and running to keep moving forward to futilely escape from one’s own pre-destined aging are all ways of coping both unhealthily and healthily as you go through middle age to becoming elderly in your later life.

Maybe if he stops running or walking or jogging, he will have to face his own eventual demise and departure from this world or face his memories of losing loved ones or losing his mother. The aged man with gray hairs continues to work, to exercise, to keep up his health by going to the doctor and trying to save his marriage. Some of these battles he will win, and some he will lose although we will never know from such a short video. Eventually, the man is elderly and looking back on his life from his bed and looks to be alone in the world.

However, he does not remember the tragedies that befell him as we all must endure in life sometimes. Instead, he remembers the first time he went to dance at a club, the way he looked at his firstborn child, hugging his beloved first wife, and how she stared at him lovingly on New Year’s Eve and how she stared at him at their wedding and when she gave birth to their child. He remembers the tragedy too but remembers those special moments that made his life truly worth living. You are left wondering after watching this four-minute video of a complicated, yet powerful life filled with tragedy and joy whether it was all worth it for the man. Would he do it again if he knew what was to happen in the future?

If we all knew what was to happen in the future until the end of our days, would we all do it again from the beginning? Would it be worth it even if there is pain, tragedy, and death? Would it be worth the love, joy, and pleasure that we experience as human beings as well? It really is out of our control, but this music video does an excellent job of pondering life’s deepest questions in only four minutes and only with the wistful yet dreamy lyrics of Thom Yorke from Radiohead creating a powerful combination of a great song and a great video. It may not be an original music video from Radiohead but whoever created it did a great job of getting a powerful message across to this 2-million strong audience on life, love, and loss.

If you would like to watch the music video on ‘Everything In Its Right Place’, you can find it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnfPaaMR6Qc

‘BACKSTORY’ Full Video on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/245687147

The Power of An Idea

According to the University of Southern California’s Laboratory of Neuroimaging, the average person has about 70,000 thoughts per day. That is about 45 thoughts per minute and 2,700 thoughts per hour. Most likely, 90% of those thoughts are focused on the day-to-day habits and responsibilities that we take upon ourselves out of necessity. Where we go to eat, where we go shop for food, what to clean and how to clean it, and the need to brush, dress, and groom ourselves so that we look presentable to the world. However, what makes us stand out as a species is our ability to pull a few ideas from these thousands of thoughts that end up changing the world in some measurable way.

Thoughts can be random, scattered, and hard to quantify but with concentrated effort and documentation, these thoughts become ideas that later can become a reality. How does an idea turn into a real thing? Well, one part of making an idea real is jotting it down on paper or even on a smartphone today and really spending a lot of time focusing on the plausibility of it. Ideas can make the best sense in the world to you but if they are not popular or don’t transcend just your belief in them, they will go nowhere fast.

Ideas are meant to be tested, changed, and optimized so that people believe in them, for better or for worse. The paradox that is inherent with ideas is that they are very similar to human nature. They can be used for the greatest good or the greatest evil. Ideas are so powerful that wars have been waged over them, millions have lost their lives, and untold amounts of money have been spent to promote or degrade them.

When you really think about it, ideas that are put into action have caused changes to human civilizations throughout the millennia. Whether its education, health, infrastructure, scientific advancement, community building, ideas are at the forefront of upending the status quo and changing human lives, sometimes for the better or sometimes for worse. While I just mentioned the positive advancements that come from ideas, it is also valid that ideas have led to war, poverty, inequality, destruction, and multiple isms that have caused conflict and strife among nations, races, and religions.

You may be reading this article and wondering that maybe it’s best to not contribute your ideas to the world in some way. I think this is a false dichotomy because I like to think that if your ideas are not harming people, are not harming the planet, and can lead to a better community, country or world, then you should try out your ideas and see what happens. The key part to realizing an idea of yours is to see how other people react to it. Are they happier because of your idea? Are they healthier because of it? Are they better educated because of your idea?

You should be asking yourself: Is my idea doing some sort of measurable good for the world and how can I improve upon it? Ideas start out as being imperfect but once you start acting to make those ideas a reality in the world, you will soon learn that implementation of those ideas will take serious hard work and effort. Getting feedback from unbiased users or participants is a key step to see whether the idea is worth merit and whether it is sustainable or not in the long-term. Imposing your idea on the world without substantive feedback or without understanding how your idea fits in to your specific niche will end up in failure.

If you have an idea, remember to write it down and construct how it could work and whether it would be worth pursuing. Similar to starting a business or launching a campaign, you have to test drive the idea first to see if people would be interested in what you have to offer whether they are paying customers or voters from the town you are running your campaign in. Careful assessment and fleshing out of your idea will make a better idea and will make your idea stand out from others that are similar or may be able to usurp yours.

Ideas do not always have to be original but there must be some added benefit or advantage that hasn’t been tried before or could change the status quo in some positive way. There is a rightful stigma against ideas, but it is important to realize that our faith in ideas is crucial to keeping civilization going even when some ideas turn out to be bad for us. Our shared belief in ideas is what leads to massive companies like Google or Apple becoming the most influential or profitable in the world and has led to nation-states forming in the past few centuries such as the United States of America or the United Kingdom.

Without thoughts that turned into ideas which turned into actions, where would humanity be? Our ability to analyze, process, and think about how to change the world or how to introduce something new in the world is what sets us apart from other species on the planet. Essentially, the story of human progress could be argued to revolve around how to maximize the impact and spread of good ideas and how to minimize the influence and the source of bad ideas. Most of us tend to shy away from sharing our ideas or trying them out but I think having a more entrepreneurial and innovative vision is a key part of being self-actualized as a person.

Having a sense of belief in your ideas and how you can leave the world better than you found it is extremely powerful. While working on the ideas of others and promoting them to the world is also very useful, I tend to think that each and every one of us has a good idea that could be fleshed out, tried out, and implemented with the help of others, which would play a key part in making the world a better place.

Because the world is so interconnected, ideas spread so rapidly that it can be overwhelming with how much is out there. However, the ideas that stick around are the ones that take time to develop, that are tweaked with, that refine their logic and their execution, and for which have gained a solid following of people who believe in those ideas. An idea that has a powerful story which resonates with people can also withstand the test of time.

The next time you have an idea, think deeply about it. Maybe you’re on your commute to work or you’re in the bathroom, or you’re on a walk in the local park, but don’t let it slip away if you think that it can serve a positive purpose and if it is actionable. Ideas can come and go in a millisecond so being able to concentrate on the idea, remember it, and write it down as soon as possible could pay off in a big way. Another way to let your ideas form is to focus on the impact that it could have and how people could benefit from the idea(s). I believe that the more observant you are of your surroundings, the better your ideas will be. Another part of gaining traction with your ideas is reading books, whether they were entrepreneurs, inventors, politicians, and reformists from different eras of history.

You may find that your idea is not so unique and may date back a few decades or even a few centuries but maybe that idea never took off. You are eager to learn more about that so you do your research, you find out more about the history of the idea, and you decide why it may be right for the present and into the future based on changes to society. Just because an idea failed in the past doesn’t mean it can’t make a return with a few useful tweaks. From the electric car to virtual reality to smartphones, these kinds of ideas have their roots buried firmly in previous unsuccessful efforts in the past only to be revived because of inventors and thinkers who thought of how to adapt these inventions to the modern era.

Ideas are powerful because of are shared belief in them and how they can change the world. However, without serious action, commitment, and hard work, ideas of ours will just stay like that as ideas alone. Ideas without belief or without support from others will go nowhere. The key to implementing good ideas in our era is that they have been tested, have some measurable benefit to humanity, and have staying power because of their relevance to our societies. If you are not sure that you are an ‘ideas’ person, try to concentrate on your thoughts and remember whether there are any of them in your daily life that could become a reality.

You must decide if any of these ideas of yours could be written down, planned out, implemented, and eventually supported by the work of others. Once you go through that chronological checklist, you will be ready to start putting those ideas into action. Your ideas may ultimately fail and you may get discouraged but if your idea(s) were able to have a kind of positive impact on someone or something because of that thought that you first had go through your mind, you will know that it will have been worth the effort of carrying it out in the first place.

Paying It Forward

Over the course of a lifetime, you can acquire knowledge, resources, and perspective from having lived longer and experienced more than perhaps your peers and more so than those people younger than yourself. Hopefully, although this is not always the case, you will have gained ideas, maturity, and wisdom, which you can impart on those who will come after you. Now while I am not directly referencing mentorship or being a mentor to others, I encourage those who have the knowledge and skills handed down to them or learned through their own efforts to pass that wisdom down to the next generation.

While ‘paying it forward’ may have gone out of style, it has been a part of human history since the early days of man. All great works in this world could be lost if it was not for oral or written recordings so that the knowledge could be passed on to those younger and curious to learn from those who came before them. Teachers, professors, coaches, and mentors play a valuable role in our society because they are entrusted with the high responsibility on passing on their mastery of different subjects on to the next generation. While these are not perfect people, they take it upon themselves to pass on their teachings to those younger and more inexperienced in the hopes that they will take their learnings to improve the world in some way.

However, you do not need to be a teacher or a professor to pass on your knowledge or your skills to younger peers or students. Everybody should take it upon themselves to ‘pay it forward’ in some way by imparting your hard-earned knowledge on to others whether they are family members, friends, mentees, or work colleagues. Part of paying it forward is realizing that you will not be around forever and if you bottle up all of your wisdom, experiences, and overall knowledge inside your mind then it will be truly lost with your passing.

You can be sure that one way to leave an impact, make your mark, and have a legacy is to teach others what you were taught while adding your own perspectives on what you have learned so that you can add your own context to the subjects you have mastered. Nobody is perfect but it is better to share that knowledge with an apprentice or a student than to let it go to waste and be lost to the ether.

From Socrates to Plato and Robespierre to Napoleon, both knowledge and wisdom has been passed down from one generation to the next. In order to progress and advance in your professional life, you’ll sometimes need to reach out on your own to those older and more experienced than you in your field of work. Guilds, trade apprenticeships, and mentoring programs do a lot of the good work in terms of paying it forward, but these opportunities don’t always come around for the average person.

If you see someone who you can help out either professionally or personally and you want to take them under your wing to see how they progress, that’s the best way of paying it forward. Instead of just choosing anyone to help, focus on those people who are interested in your line of work or have the same kind of personal life as you did. You will want to help those folks who are willing to listen, to learn, and to actually implement the advice that you give them. Sometimes, it’s best to let that person reach out to you when they are looking for help but you may have to take the initiative if you don’t have anyone reaching out.

As I discussed in a previous post, mentorship goes both ways but paying it forward is something you should do out of the good of your own heart and out of a desire to leave the world better than when you found it by positively impacting someone’s life. All of us have a lot of experience, knowledge, and skills to share and there are many people out there who don’t or won’t have access to the same resources as we did.

Of course, first, you’ll have to find who that person is who you want to help but remember to not be too selective or wait forever to make your impact. If you have been working hard over the years and decades to build up your knowledge, you should not let it all go to waste by keeping it to yourself. When no one sets the example of paying it forward, it can create a negative ripple effect whereas that kind of useful information or life experience won’t be passed down to those who need it the most.

You may not see the rewards of your efforts in sharing your knowledge or expertise right away but over the years and decades of you helping others, you will definitely see the results whether its’ in the neighborhood, the community, the country, or the world. Everybody has something to contribute to the overall society and even more so when you are able to help others do the same in their own way. ‘Paying it forward’ may not be requirement in living a good life but it will certainly leave an impact on yourself and those who you assist and help during the course of your life.

The Producer vs. Consumer Mindset

We are all consumers but not all of us are producers. This dichotomy between producing vs. consuming has become especially relevant in the 21st century when levels of consumption are at historic levels. When you think about it, being able to consume in different parts of life has never been easier or faster. You can stream vast amounts of music, download movies within minutes, and have food delivered to you at the click of a button. These days, you don’t even have to leave your house or apartment to consume food, books, music, movies, etc. Everything has become more widely available to the average person and that also includes education.

The Internet and other forms of technology have made it easier than ever to consume but despite that fact, is that all we should be doing? Aren’t we met to do more than to order food online, surf Amazon.com for the latest book, or listen to multiple Pink Floyd albums for hours thanks to Spotify? I believe that recently we have strayed too much to being only consumers without realizing that what is most fulfilling is to produce something of value. There should be a balance between consuming and producing and it’s best to strive for a mix of producing and consuming in your life with the former being more of a priority. Consuming is easy but it’s been shown to not be fulfilling and the utility of consumption decreases consistently the more you do it.

While consuming is incredibly easy and requires little to no effort, producing is the exact opposite. Producing something of worth or of value takes some or a lot of effort and the results are not immediate. To be a producer, you need to be determined, patient, put your skills to the test, and be able to think outside the box. Even though producing may not be the most fun or most enjoyable thing to do, it’s really what we as human beings are meant to do and what also gives us the most satisfaction.

If you think about it, our ancient ancestors had to produce or create in order to stay alive and sustain themselves. Back in those times, you had to catch a fish, spear a buffalo, or even a build a hut or you would not last very long. Simply put, our intrinsic value as people is based off of what we can contribute to our friends, families, communities, and the greater society. Now, this does not imply that you have to be producing something of value for others all of the time in order to be considered valuable. You don’t have to produce something for the sake of it or just to impress someone. You should find something to produce for yourself because you’ll build up some self-confidence as well as create more skills and abilities for yourself. You should choose to produce over consume yet you must figure out on your own what you would like to contribute whether that’s writing a blog, creating a piece of music, making an invention, or starting a business.

Why do we choose to produce? It reflects our innate sense of purpose and wanting to leave an imprint on the world regardless of how small or big it may be. There’s a true sense of satisfaction that you get from creating something out of nothing. Our ideas and our thoughts when they are put into actions can create a massive ripple effect that can change our lives if we do big things. The richest companies in the world such as Amazon, Google, and Facebook started out as simple ideas in the minds of their founders but they became real through actions and deeds after starting out just as words.

A producer takes their thoughts and ideas and turns them into something real. For each person, what they would like to produce is going to be different but the simple act of deciding to produce something instead of consuming all of the time is a beautiful thing in its own right. You can start out small by producing a poem, a painting, a piece of music, and then once you successfully create those things, you can aim bigger and better for producing things like a screenplay, a novel, a film, a multi-million-dollar business, etc. If you do not know what to produce but would like to start somewhere, think of which skills and abilities you currently have and make a list of what interests and hobbies you have as well. It’s also best to realize that producing something of value takes serious hard work and effort. It is not an instantaneous event and takes months and sometimes years depending on how big the thing is you’re producing.

Once you get the first thing you produce out of the way, you’ll start to realize how useful, fun, and innovative it can be to be a producer instead of a consumer. As mentioned before, there’s an innate sense of satisfaction out of crafting something from nothing as well as the fact that you used either your mind or your body or both to make it happen. Happiness, I would argue, does not come from consuming the things of this world but rather producing things to bring into the world that weren’t in existence before.

Depending on what you produce, you’ll also be helping people with what you make whether it’s a house that a family will live, a business that will hire employees, or a bridge that will connect town and city together. Also, the thing that you produce will last beyond your life here on Earth and can even transcend time if it is that impactful. Beyond the creation and production, what you’ll be creating is a legacy that you’ll be remembered for. Could you say the same for someone who doesn’t produce anything at all and just consumes? That person won’t be remembered for anything because they will not have left a legacy of producing for themselves, their family, and humanity while they were around. Consumers may benefit in the short run but not in the long run.

Our lives can both be about consuming and producing but think about what would be a better use of your time. Is it binging Netflix for multiple hours or creating a garden to grow fresh vegetables? Is it about playing video games or coming up with ideas for a new novel? Is it better to eat ice cream from Ben and Jerry’s or to make it from scratch? Depending on what answers you gave for these questions, you will be better off as a consumer or a producer.

Everybody has different priorities with what they value in their free time. If you find that you’re producing enough in your day to day work, keep doing that. However, if you find that you’re consuming all the time and not really producing beyond what you’re paid to do, you may want to reconsider how you spend your time. Giving yourself a chance to do more, write more, build more, play more, etc. is likely to be much more satisfying for you and give you a sense of fulfillment and even happiness that can’t be found in Netflix, Spotify, or UberEats. By being a producer, you’re creating value for the world and you’re building your skills, abilities, and knowledge at a time when you can do more than ever if you’re willing to educate yourself and put those traits and turn them into conceivable actions.

I’ll leave you with the idea of compiling a list of your day-to-day activities, map out the amount of time you spend on consuming or producing. If you’re consuming for hours on end and you feel listless, demoralized, or sad, you can turn it around by starting to take those free hours of your time and turning it into something productive. Producing is simply harder and more intensive than being a simple consumer. However, the return of investment on your time put into producing something far outweighs any benefit(s) you would receive from consuming a video game, an order of take-out, or a pop album.

Start from scratch and do your best to take the skills and abilities you have and turn out something totally original that only you and you alone came up with. The books you’ve read, the movies you’ve watched, the music you’ve listened to, the classes you’ve enrolled in, the people you’ve met; that kind of consumption isn’t inherently bad but you should take the time you spent consuming other people’s products and using that knowledge to create your own product. Your own novel, your own play, your own symphony, your own business, or your own recipe: these are all ways that you can find fulfillment and meaning as a producer in this life. You won’t have forever to do both producing and consuming so why not choose producing because you may find that you’re not only good at it but you like it just that much more than being a consumer.

The Passage of Time

One of the consistencies of life that never changes is how much time there is in a day. You have 24 hours in a day to do everything that you need to do. You can also keep in mind the fact that there are seven days in a week, 52 weeks in a year. Any human being on the planet doesn’t know how much time they will be given because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. You may be thinking that you’ll live to be 100 years old and get to accomplish everything you set out to do but life tends to get in the way of our preconceived plans.

All you really have when it comes to time is the here and now of living in the present. While it’s the law of science that we have 24 hours in a day here on planet Earth, as humans we’re really down to 16 hours a day or even less if you’re a deep sleeper. Then, you have to take into account that time you’ll need to put away for eating, drinking, commuting and working to make money, which are more necessities of life than things that we enjoy doing every day.

Based on how finite time really is in our lives, it becomes more impactful the older you get. A common theme that you hear from people especially in the 30’s and beyond is how fast time seems to fly by. I’m starting to think about that more and more as I head into my later 20’s about how the days, weeks, months and years are starting to go by quicker than I would like. It could be argued that after you enter your 20’s or after you leave college, time starts to pick up and you become more sensitive to its quickening pace. When I was in childhood, time felt like a limitless ocean and that my life would last forever. However, when you become a fully- grown adult, you realize just how naïve that childhood belief is. It also plays into the fact that we have much less responsibilities when we’re younger and have a lot more time to play, learn, and socially develop ourselves.

With adulthood, your conception of time does a complete 180 as you now have a lot of responsibilities based around earning a living, taking care of yourself, and maintaining your personal interests. You have much less time for play and a lot more time devoted to work. Because of the limited amount of time that we have in a day, you start to think more about what you should spend on it. Everybody is going to have different priorities with their time but the older you get, the more you realize that you want to spend it well because time is precious and fleeting.

A direct consequence of time passing is that you start to value certain things more and other things less. You have to be able to choose about who is worth your time and who is not worth your time. That’s a harsh truth but you cannot make time for everyone so you have to figure out who you are compatible with or what kind of activity or vocation is worth your effort. For example, I used to love playing video games when I was younger but as I got older, I realized there were other activities and hobbies that I was more interested in and would be worth more of my time. That’s why I’m writing this article for my audience instead of playing Grand Theft Auto V all night long (even though that’s a great game). Similar to one’s interests and hobbies, the way you use your time in your life is inevitably going to change.

Prioritizing who or what matters to you is a crucial part of being an adult and is also necessary for good time management. You may not see your parents as often as when you were a child so you’ll make the trip to visit them every Thanksgiving and/or Christmas even though you hate dealing with airport security and bad traffic. That’s why you’ll plan activities with friends a few weeks in advance because you don’t see them as often as you’d like because you’ve been busy working on a new business idea.

Because our time becomes more limited as we get older, you have to plan in advance and think deeply about what is worth your time. While time is limited, it’s always a good idea to try new things and be consistent about it. If you’re going to the gym in your spare time, make it a habit and even go a couple of times a week. When you’re not working, do those things that make you happy or that challenge you in some way. Spend time with those people who matter to you most and who treat you well.

You don’t have to plan your time down to the minute and it’s good to be spontaneous every now and then such as taking an impromptu vacation. However, you don’t want to spend time doing things you dislike or pass the time with people who you don’t like. In order to live a happier and healthier life, you’ll need to cut out the bad and keep the good. Doing work that is meaningful, enjoying activities with good friends, learning new things are all productive ways to spend your time. Also, you should try your best to balance your life out so that work isn’t taking up too much of your time where you don’t have enough time to pursue other interests.

Whatever you decide to do with your time, remember that it does not discriminate among people. It’s the same for everybody in the world. From when you wake up to when you go to sleep, that time is yours and yours alone. You alone have to make the choice of what to do with the time that is given to you. While there are obligations and commitments that we all have to fulfill, you have the power to use your time as you see fit.

You can’t get the time back so use it to the fullest and remember that it’s finite. While you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself with too many things taking up your time, remember that you shouldn’t put off possible interests, hobbies, or opportunities forever. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize you wasted too much time and didn’t get to do all of the things you wanted to do. Time is fleeting and you never know when it’s going to run out. As the Roman poet Horace once wrote in the year 23 BC, “Carpe diem”, which translates in English to mean “Seize the day.” I couldn’t agree more.