Category: resilience

Stop Romanticizing Stories of Overcoming Adversity Due to Societal Dysfunction

“We all should be striving to succeed but if you find yourself cheering for a success story that could have been avoided in the first place had there been a stable safety net and to have prevented the problem from arising in the first place, that is where more of our attention should be focused on as people.”

Look, I love a feel-good story as much as the next guy. I like it when someone can pull themselves out of poverty or difficult circumstances to achieve wild success for themselves and their next of kin. This is the kind of positive story that is often reported on in American media and popular culture. We love the story of the underdog rising above challenges to achieve something great. It seems to be practically embedded in our national DNA. However, the Achilles heel that we often refuse to acknowledge or focus on as a nation is how dysfunctional it can be to rise above a broken or fractured safety net to escape poverty, homelessness, or even medical debt. We all should be striving to succeed but if you find yourself cheering for a success story that could have been avoided in the first place had there been a stable safety net and to have prevented the problem from arising in the first place, that is where more of our attention should be focused on as people.

 I bring this issue up as this has been the kind of a ‘feel-good yet kind of messed up’ story that garners sympathy and appreciation from the average person throughout my life. For example, I was watching a nationally televised baseball game recently as I like to do sometimes and heard the television commentators for this game focus on the rags-to-riches story of one of the players on the field who has become wildly successful after going through tough times that involved both him and his family.

The baseball player in question had a newborn son arrive around the time of the COVID pandemic’s outbreak, who suffered from a series of seizures, which required a lengthy hospital stay and weekly checkups from the doctors there. The player himself could not play baseball due to cancellation of the MLB season at the time in 2020 and lost his health insurance at the same time his newborn son’s seizures started occurring. Because health insurance is tied to employment in America, the baseball player lost his health insurance at the worst possible time. They did not have enough money left over for housing after paying out of pocket costs for the medical care for their son. As a result, the baseball player and his family were rendered homeless for a while, living out of their family car in a Wal-Mart parking lot at one point in central Florida.

Luckily, even in this case of the dysfunctional health care system failing both this player and his family, having been left in the dust for a while, professional baseball, being the national pastime resumed a few months later in 2020, the baseball player regained his medical insurance and was able to pay off the medical debt due to his success in Major League Baseball over the past few years. I admire this player and his family’s resilience in the face of adversity and am glad his son is doing well now. The player is now a naturalized U.S. citizen also and visits children’s hospitals in the area where he plays to support families going through similar ordeals.

While this story in America had a happy ending after much sadness and anxiety for the family in question, I can’t help but think of the TV commentators’ from this baseball game’s lack of awareness about the societal dysfunction that leads to a whole family living out of their car in a Wal-Mart in central Florida with no safety net to speak of because one of them lost their job, through absolutely no fault of their own, which was tied to their health insurance coverage. It bothered me a great deal personally to not hear from the TV commentary to not mention at all the lack of universal health care in this country or the fact that you can incur thousands of dollars or more of medical debt so a son or daughter can get the treatments or surgeries needed to overcome seizures or other major medical issues.

While this story had a happy ending due to the player’s evolving skillset and MLB’s massive popularity, there are millions of Americans suffering out there currently due to a lack of a durable safety net to fill in the gaps in health and education. Come back stories to break through adversity are great and make for nice commentary but not everyone has had such luck and success navigating the American health care system.

Whether it’s GoFundMe or another online platform, many families have to rely on the kindness of strangers to help them pay down massive medical, educational, or other debt, which is never an enviable position to be in. We should not have to rely on complete strangers to fund necessary medical procedures or to get life-saving medications paid for in the United States. No one should have to forgo their home or apartment to go homeless to pay for medical bills either and be forced to live with their family in a car or on the street. I’m all for people striving to make the best of their abilities in their chosen profession but layoffs, firings, or other unfortunate events can happen leaving us jobless and without health insurance directly as a result.

I’m not going to discuss which kind of system to have regarding how insurance or how higher education can run in America but I do know that you shouldn’t have to rely on having a job at all times to get affordable health care and if you don’t have insurance when a procedure is needed, you should never go bankrupt trying to pay off your medical bills. We can argue forever about the size, scope, and scale of how a universal health care system can support the country while everybody pays their fair share into its functionality, but we should never reach the point where a platform like GoFundMe is needed to fill in the gap when it comes to someone’s health care coverage. The point of this article is not to discuss how such a new system would work or how it can be implemented but rather to address how this current dysfunctional system (or lack thereof) has been allowed to fester and continue without any solutions or improvements recently.

Lastly, feel-good stories are a good way for average people to relate to one another regardless of if you’re a professional baseball player or a janitor, but we should be taking the right lessons from these stories. We should be applauding the person and family’s resilience and their success in navigating the massive challenge, but we should also question on how we could let such dysfunction run a key part of our society or how we can allow this system to continue given that it bankrupts average people because they lost their job through no fault of their own.

Sometimes, in life, you must ask hard questions and those can include how we fix societal dysfunction and how we can be part of the solution in our own way as citizens. Asking these kinds of questions, holding our political leaders accountable, and focusing on the ‘why it happened?’ rather than the ‘how it happened?’ will help to cause some real change to happen and for these stories to become rarities in American society rather than sadly, all too common place, that we hear almost every day here.

Some Thoughts On “This Too Shall Pass”

“The main message of the quote is meant to be comforting to those who hear the words strung together either in a poem, a speech, a song, or a fable, and it is supposed to let us all know that whatever we are experiencing or feeling at the moment, whether it is positive or negative, good or bad, happy or sad, “this too shall pass.”

A favorite quote of mine in the English language, originally adapted from Farsi / Persian centuries ago, has been used by both Sufi poets and American presidents alike to describe the impermanence of everything. The main message of the quote is meant to be comforting to those who hear the words strung together either in a poem, a speech, a song, or a fable, and it is supposed to let us all know that whatever we are experiencing or feeling at the moment, whether it is positive or negative, good or bad, happy or sad, “this too shall pass.”

The human condition is ever evolving and what we experience one moment, one hour, or one day can be drastically different later from what was before. Nothing is permanent as we all know because one of the first things we become sentient of is our own mortality and our own impermanence on Earth. While this can fill us with existential dread and despair, it can be a blessing too because the pain, the suffering, and other negative emotions we experience in this life are not for forever. Just as we can’t be experiencing euphoria in the form of only good things happening every moment of our life, the same can be said for having everything go wrong throughout life.

What happens to us in life is largely beyond our control but what we can control is how we react to life and its challenges. In addition, we should remind ourselves that tough times are not forever and if you stay in the game, you keep moving forward, you give yourself a chance of pulling yourself out of a bad rut or a down time. I find it healthy emotionally to remember the Persian and now translated to English saying of, “this too shall pass.” It is a good reminder for us all about the impermanence of all things we experience including life itself.

In addition, this quote of “this too shall pass” can be correlated to “carpe diem” because we must do our best to enjoy life despite its challenges because we never know how many days will be given to live this life. You may not know what life will throw your way day by day, but you should be prepared to make the most of it, to ‘seize’ it, and to have an impact on it in whatever way you can.

The impermanence of everything in life should make us savor the good moments more whenever they come to us. We can remind ourselves that the bad times don’t last forever too and that good times can be just around the corner if we believe in ourselves to turn things around. Being more grateful, more appreciative, more kind, and being a better person even when we don’t feel like karma or life itself is reflecting the good that we’re doing should not mean we stop trying. The reward of life is to live it to the fullest and to do it well even with the inevitable ups and downs, the highs and lows that come with it.

We must refuse to give up or surrender when the bad times in life challenge us, sometimes beyond what we would ever want to endure. We must believe in doing good and being good even when bad things or times happen to us. Life is a gift; however we are affected by existing and living day by day, we must make the most of it and to continue making our lives better even when times are tough on us. Those four words of “this too shall pass” have comforted people in different cultures and in different languages throughout the centuries.

The human condition is not the same day by day and what we experience today will not be what we experience tomorrow. Time can blend, routines can become suffocating, and experiences can become mundane in life, but it is up to you and you alone first to make changes to your life, to make different choices to how you react to life, and to form different habits that could make what looks like a permanent situation turn into a temporary blip in your life trajectory. We may think that we are on a set course, but we have agency, and nothing is permanent, and we can make our lives what we wish if we decide to act and make change to go from good to bad or bad to good depending on how we act on both our actions and choices.

“This too shall pass” is a timeless piece of wisdom that resonates deeply with the human experience and has done so for centuries. At its core, this universal phrase has served as a powerful reminder to all human beings of the impermanence of all things and of life itself. By acknowledging that both good and bad moments are fleeting, we cultivate a healthier and balanced perspective on life. When faced with the challenges life throws at us each day, remembering that “this too shall pass” helps us to endure the hardships with greater resilience, humility, and patience. It encourages us to stay grounded, knowing that difficult times will not last forever. This outlook can alleviate the weight of anxiety and stress, providing a sense of hope, belief, and a clear mind to navigate through life’s adversities.   

Similarly, this kind of wisdom also teaches us to cherish the happy and joyful moments more fully, understanding that they are both precious and temporary. It fosters an appreciation for the present moment we are living in, urging us to savor the beauty and happiness we encounter even in a minute way. By internalizing this phrase in our lives, we become more mindful and grateful for the positive experiences in our lives when they occur.

Incorporating “this too shall pass” into our mindset every day can lead to a more balanced emotional and mental state. This quote promotes resilience by reassuring us during tough times and maximizing our joy by reminding us to live in the present, whether good or bad. Ultimately, this simple yet profound wisdom from earlier times in the history of humanity helps us embrace the ebb and flow of life with grace and humility, transforming how we approach both our triumphs and our trials.

Get Used to Rejection

“Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.”

Rejection is never enjoyable nor is it pleasant. It is something you always want to forget immediately and to bury it in the recesses of your brain, never to be thought of or remembered again. However, like death and taxes, I truly believe rejection is an inevitable part of life and it happens to everyone. We can never go through life being accepted for everything or being accepted by everyone. Because rejection is so much a part of our life, it is better to face it head on rather than try to hide from it or ignore it completely.

We never really like to address rejection or talk about when they happen. We often feel that reflects who we are rather than what the other person or job or opportunity is looking for. Sure, there are times where maybe we didn’t put the best foot forward or ace the interview or be able to show the best of ourselves to the person(s) considering us, but often, the rejection itself may be a factor of other circumstances beyond what kind of effort you put in or who you are as a person. Even if you get rejected, it’s not a wholesale rejection of who you are but rather there is incompatibility there to begin with or it just wasn’t going to work out in the long run.

It is very hard for us to predict what we will be accepted or rejected for. That fact makes it even more important for us to put ourselves out there even more because the more no’s you get, the likelier it is you’ll eventually get to the ‘yes.’ As the popular expression goes, “Practice makes perfect,” and I do believe it is necessary to face your rejections head on rather than to just get rejected once and then call it quits, never to go through it again. Giving up entirely should not be an option if you want it that badly and you should not be afraid to try again. Yes, rejection hurts and it stings for a while, but it is better for you to build your self-confidence up and shore up your self-esteem by trying than to go through life being afraid of it.

Getting used to rejection does not mean give up after getting the rejection. No, it means you must understand that rejections will happen but the more you try, the likelier it is you’ll find that job, that relationship, that big sale, etc. that you can be proud of after getting to that ‘yes.’ Being rejected is good for one’s ego in that it both keeps it in check and keeps you humble. Maybe you need to do things differently to get that acceptance or maybe work a bit harder or try something new after getting rejected.

You don’t give up, but you keep working at it, getting better, trying again, or even asking the person(s) who rejected you politely why the rejection happened. Asking about the rejection can be a bit sensitive but it doesn’t hurt to see why it wasn’t the right fit or place for you but if an answer isn’t forthcoming, you should just move on and try your efforts elsewhere.

I’m a New York Jets American football fan but I can’t help but think of the story about former New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, when it comes to a story about rejection. Multiple NFL teams chose other quarterbacks ahead of this Hall of Fame player and 198 players went ahead of him in the draft. They essentially rejected him as a quarterback and didn’t think he had it in him to lead their team to a Super Bowl. I’m sure this would have hurt Tom Brady quite a bit waiting for his name to be called. Expecting to be drafted and waiting through 198 players before you in a draft would have that effect on anyone. I’m sure Tom was discouraged but eventually, the New England Patriots took a chance on him and drafted him 199th in the sixth round.

This kind of rejection likely lit a fire under young Tom Brady especially when New England did not consider him at the time to be the kind of NFL quarterback and legend, he turned out to be. Tom did not let the rejection get to him from the other teams, but it motivated him even more to turn those rejections against those teams who did not think he was worth drafting. He worked harder than any other player on the roster, kept his body in better shape than any other quarterback, and put more time in the film room than many NFL veteran players.

The results speak for themselves today as Tom Brady is widely considered the greatest quarterback of all-time and won seven Super Bowl championships and multiple Most Valuable Player (MVP) awards during his 22-year career. Again, I wish the New York Jets had drafted him in the 1st round so we would be talking about how great of a Jets quarterback he was but rejection by my team led to the Patriots getting him later in the sixth round.

I hope that anecdote about Tom Brady, the Patriots former quarterback, will be a lesson for us all on how rejection, while painful and disappointing, can spur us to still be successful and achieve our goals elsewhere. We all are going to get rejected for something whether it’s a job opportunity, making a sale for our company, asking that cute girl or guy for a date with you, or even not being picked to go on a work trip or getting chosen last for the local kickball team. The key is to take it in stride, move on to another opportunity, continue to work hard, improve, and prove the doubters wrong, and to never, ever give up.

Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. As a child, we don’t know any better when it comes to rejection because it’s so new to us and it hurts the most, but when you’re an adult or even teenager, you should be used to it by now and it should be something that you’re able to handle in a mature manner. It’s never easy but living your life in a way where you avoid it at all costs is neither productive nor healthy. Next time you get rejected, take a deep breath, ask yourself if you put your best effort forward, see where you might have gone wrong or ask for an answer if feasible, and keep moving on and don’t look back. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.

Navigating the Down Days in Life

“During these inevitable down days that we all go through, when challenges seem insurmountable, and the losses keep piling up, it is essential to cultivate your internal mental strength to navigate through the storm.”

Life inevitably has its various peaks and valleys, days filled with various successes and other days where nothing goes your way. During these inevitable down days that we all go through, when challenges seem insurmountable, and the losses keep piling up, it is essential to cultivate your internal mental strength to navigate through the storm. Being mentally strong doesn’t mean avoiding any hardship and making sure no problems ever find you; rather, it involves developing the resilience and coping mechanisms necessary to face your adversity head-on.

Everybody has down days in their life, and it is better for you to acknowledge and accept the down days, face them rather than run from them, understand the factors contributing to building up your mental strength, and adopting the practical strategies to emerge stronger and better on the other side.

As the popular English saying goes, “when it rains, it pours.” I’ve found that things tend to go wrong in bunches similarly to how when things go well, they tend to go well all at once. You must be able to brace yourself for these tough times and to look for the positives where you can during the down days. The first step towards bolstering your mental strength during challenging times is acknowledging and accepting the existence of down days.

Denying or suppressing negative emotions can exacerbate the situation, leading to prolonged stress and anxiety for every challenge that comes your way. You should not shy away from the reality of difficult moments as it will allow for a healthier processing of your emotions. It is essential to recognize that everyone faces hardships in life, and experiencing these lows is an integral part of what makes us human.

In addition, acknowledging the down days in life doesn’t equate to having a weakness. On the contrary, it is a testament to having both emotional intelligence and self-awareness. By accepting the presence of challenges that you are facing, you can better understand your emotional state and take proactive steps towards building up resilience.

Mental strength is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed through intentional efforts and experiences. Understanding the components of mental strength is crucial for cultivating resilience during tough times. If you can manage your emotions, have a positive mindset despite your circumstances, and still build healthy habits, you will be able to meet the down days head on instead of letting them consume you.

Effective emotional management is a cornerstone of one’s mental strength. It involves acknowledging and expressing emotions in a healthy manner. Suppressing your emotions can lead to a buildup of stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings. When things are going wrong, you should work even harder to navigate your emotions, seek healthy outlets such as writing, playing sports, talking to a friend or family member, or engaging in fun activities. Don’t let an argument, a disagreement, a difference of opinion make your down day worse than it needs to be.

Cultivating a positive mindset doesn’t mean denying the existence of your problems but rather in adopting an optimistic perspective to getting through them. This involves reframing those challenges as actual opportunities for growth and learning. Practicing gratitude, focusing on the solutions rather than the problems only, and surrounding yourself with positive influences can all help contribute to the development of a resilient mindset.

Our Mental strength is closely tied to our daily habits. It is key to keeping your routines going that prioritize physical health, such as regular exercise and sufficient sleep, which positively impacts mental well-being especially during down times. Additionally, I believe that incorporating mindfulness practices, such as practicing meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises, can help manage your stress, anxiety and enhance your resilience.

While understanding the components of our mental strength is crucial during rough periods of time, you should be thinking of practical strategies for navigating the down days of life. Here are some strategies that can come in handy when you are going through a tough time and may not know where to go for sustained support:

  1. Cultivate a Support System: During tough times, the value of a strong support system cannot be overstated. Whether it’s family, friends, or a professional counselor, having someone to share thoughts and feelings with about what you are going through will provide both emotional validation and a sense of connection. Social support acts as a buffer against stress and fosters one’s resilience.
  2. Set Realistic Goals: In the face of sustained adversity, it’s essential to set realistic and achievable goals. Breaking down larger challenges into smaller, manageable tasks on a day by day basis can make the journey seem less daunting. Celebrating small victories that happen to you, especially during the down days along the way, contributes to a sense of accomplishment and boosts confidence.
  3. Embrace Change as an Opportunity: Life is inherently dynamic, and change is a constant. Instead of resisting changes to your life, instead, you should view the change(s) as an opportunity for growth and adaptation. Flexibility in your thinking and the ability to adjust to new circumstances are key components of maintaining mental strength. Embracing the change(s) will allow you to navigate challenges with a more open and resilient mindset.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion: During difficult times or days, it can be tempting to often criticize oneself and focus on your perceived shortcomings. Practicing self-compassion instead involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. Nobody’s perfect. Treat yourself with the same empathy and support you would offer to a friend or a family member.
  5. Learn from Adversity: Every challenge, no matter how difficult or large it is, provides an opportunity for personal learning and growth. Reflecting on your past experiences, identifying the lessons learned from past challenges, and applying them to current situations contribute to personal development. Adversity can be a powerful teacher, which can shape individuals into more resilient and resourceful beings.
  6. Seek Professional Help When Needed: It’s important to recognize when professional assistance is necessary and that you do not have to go through it alone. If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness persist, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable support. Therapy offers a safe space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain insights into one’s thought patterns and habitual actions. There is nothing wrong and no stigma with taking care of yourself mentally in my view including reaching out to a mental health professional during down times.

Life’s down days are an inevitable part of being human, but they need not define us. Building mental strength to make it through the down days involves a combination of acknowledging the challenges, understanding the different components of resilience, and implementing practical strategies to navigate adversity and stress. By cultivating a strong support system, setting realistic goals, embracing change, practicing self-compassion, learning from adversity, and seeking professional help when needed, you can develop the mental fortitude necessary to weather life’s storms.

In the journey that is life, it is not the absence of challenges that defines us but our ability to rise above the ones we face. Mental strength is a skill that can be honed, a muscle that grows stronger with intentional dedication, effort, and practice. By embracing the down days and seeing them as possible opportunities for growth and self-discovery, you can emerge from adversity not only intact from having overcome them but also having been strengthened and made more resilient than ever before.

A Most Difficult Year

“The first year I can remember in my lifetime where expectations are dashed, lives are thrown off course, and uncertainty is the norm rather than the exception is 2020.”

When you begin a new year, you expect the most out of it in terms of happiness, health, and opportunities. You hope for the best and pray to avoid the worst. However, there are going to be years that don’t live up to expectations and if anything, topple over any kind of expectations you had to begin on January 1st. The first year I can remember in my lifetime where expectations are dashed, lives are thrown off course, and uncertainty is the norm rather than the exception is 2020.

For the vast majority of people, 2020 has been a year to forget and to put behind us. Still though, there is a lot that we can and should learn from this year to make the next one a more forgiving and hopeful year. 2020 was a most difficult year and one long, seemingly almost never-ending ‘Black Mirror’ episode but I take solace in the fact that those of us who made it through this year are more resilient, better able to deal with uncertainty, and able to be happy with less instead of more.

We will always remember 2020 and while I am looking forward to putting it behind me, there are certain lessons to be drawn from a year like this one to ensure we never have a year as uniquely horrible as this one if only we start to change our behaviors and our actions collectively as a society. Beyond climate change, racial injustice, rampant inequalities, and a raging pandemic, there is also the sense that we are failing each other not just in terms of our institutions but also in terms of our commitment towards one another. Revitalizing faith, trust, and kindness as fundamental tenets of our society will be an important benchmark in seeing how much we have learned from the ills of 2020 and how not to repeat these failures in a future crisis of our own making.  

In a time where our institutions are increasingly unable to meet the challenges placed upon them, I hope we will recommit to them additional resources rather than letting them atrophy and decay after the pandemic is over. I think most of us have learned how necessary it is to have functioning and responsive institutions in a crisis and how much we can be hurt by not having them be available to us especially when time is of the essence. Institutions will only work as much as we allow them to so it’s up to us collectively to believe in them, to fund them properly, and to have leaders who will tell us the truth, understand our needs, and be able to respond effectively. When our institutions fail us, we are all put in the precarious position of relying heavily on our friends and our families, which is sometimes a luxury that not everyone has available to them.

Our personal connections cannot help us though when it comes to securing masks, getting us tests, or giving us financial relief when we have no other option. A pandemic shows us how vital it is to have both local and national institutions in place who can help and are there to help rather than leaving every man or woman for him or herself causing us to act more selfish or more distrustful of others. Pandemics can bring the best out of people and they can bring the worst out of people. It is my belief that this pandemic has shown us how much our institutions have become dysfunctional, how our leaders have been corrupted, and how our society has become way too individualistic especially in a time where cooperation and unity are so desperately needed.

Individuals have been heroic for all of us whether its health care workers, grocery store clerks, delivery people, teachers, first responders, etc. who have shown more care and urgency than many larger institutions who have taken months to actually do anything substantive to help people. They are doing their job well under extremely difficult circumstances and hopefully after this year, we will reward them more not just with our thanks but also with better treatment in terms of financial payment, respect, and providing them with more resources when they need them.

Those people on the frontlines like the rest of us have had to become much more resilient in the face of such difficult circumstances. As I have mentioned before in previous articles, Resiliency is one of the most important traits you can have in a year that has been so difficult. The ability to overcome challenges, break down barriers, and surpass obstacles has been so important in 2020 where our resiliency has been tested each and every day practically. Some have had to be more resilient than others, but we have all had to play our part in keeping each other healthy and safe.

Resiliency is also about keeping your spirits up, not letting yourself get too down, and reminding yourself that tough times don’t last forever but tough people do. If you thought you were going to make it through your entire life without facing a challenging or historic year, you would be mistaken. Whether it’s the Great Depression, World War II, or the tumultuous upheavals brought on by the 1960s or the end of the Cold War, each generation is inevitably going to face moments where their resiliency is tested, where comfort is hard to find, and where good days may be hard to come by.

However, if we can get through the hard years in our life like 2020, there’s not much you cannot overcome if you are able to maintain your resiliency. 2020 teaches us that life can go sideways, and that uncertainty is more part of the human conditions than we would like to admit. While we strive for some sense of predictability or comfort in our lives, we inherently know that is just not possible and that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. I hope 2020 also teaches us not to take anything for granted especially our health or our financial security.

Inevitably, we must always plan for uncertainty because it may be coming to us when we least expect it as it did in the early months of 2020. Whether it’s trying to save more money, keeping ourselves that much more physically fit, or keeping some extra food around the house in case of an emergency, I hope that we will plan for uncertainty to come our way again because you never know when it can rear its ugly head again.

Learning how to be more resilient and also knowing how to face uncertainty have been keys to overcoming 2020 but it’s also been about how to be more kind to others. You never know what someone else is going through, how they have been affected by the pandemic, and what they are risking by coming in to work every day when they can’t stay home. If you can’t be kind, then you shouldn’t say anything to anyone. Now, more than ever, it’s important to be kind to one another, to look out for your fellow man, to donate money if you are able to, and even if you’re feeling particularly generous, donate your time and effort to a food bank or a homeless shelter to help those most in need right now.

Also, be sure to check in on those people most close to you whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or someone who you are close to at your workplace or school. Now is the time to make sure everyone is doing as well as can be, that they are not isolated without hearing your voice or seeing your face virtually indefinitely. It is very hard to spend the holidays alone so now is the best time before a new year begins to check in on those people who matter to you the most. Lastly, do not forget to support your local businesses during these hard times whether it’s the mom-and-pop store down the street or your favorite restaurant since they could all use the business right now and it’s the right thing to do to support the economy.

Kindness is going to be even more important in the coming year than ever. Between economic troubles, a continuing pandemic, and political strife, it’s best to be kind always and to empathize with what other people are going through even if they are complete strangers. Give help to those you need and fight for those with less. Make sure you continue to hold people accountable for their actions whether it’s your neighbor next door or the mayor of your town or city. Only by strengthening the bonds of trust through kindness, honesty, and transparency can we begin to heal the divisions and disparities within our society.

The pandemic and other events in 2020 have shown us how important it is to work together, to look for one another, to do unto others as we would have them do unto us, and to deal with uncertainty and stay resilient as much as possible. I hope things get better for all of us in 2021 and I want to encourage everyone to follow the public health guidelines throughout next year.

Keep wearing a mask, stay socially distant, wash your hands frequently, take care of yourself physically with enough exercise and healthy eating. Make your New Year’s resolutions too if you believe in them so as to strive for new goals and opportunities in 2021. Be kind to others again, stay positive, and don’t let adversity throw you into despair.

I wish all of my readers a very Happy New Year and for a healthy, prosperous, and safe 2021 to come to each and every one of us.

Anatomy of a Scene – ‘Why do we fall?’

“It feels more real than any other comic book movie and the character development is better than most other movies due to the major scenes having a deeper meaning behind them that continue throughout the Nolan Batman trilogy.”

As I have written in a previous blog article, ‘Batman Begins’, directed by Christopher Nolan is one of my all-time favorite movies and still my favorite comic book movie. It feels more real than any other comic book movie and the character development is better than most other movies due to the major scenes having a deeper meaning behind them that continue throughout the Nolan Batman trilogy. One of the scenes from ‘Batman Begins’ that really sum up the core message of this trio of Batman films from 2005-2012 is asking the question of ‘Why do we fall?’. This question not only summarizes the trilogy’s main message of not letting adversity or failure keep us from trying and eventually succeeding but also regarding the need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep moving forward in life.

This simple message of ‘why do we fall?’ is more than just about Batman’s own struggles in terms of having a traumatic experience of falling through a well, getting harassed by a swarm of bats, and injuring himself but it’s about our own setbacks in life and what we can do to put them behind us rather than dwell on them. This peculiar scene from ‘Batman Begins’ is central to the theme of the movie as Batman, an ordinary man who while having inherited obscene wealth and prestige, still suffers from tragedy early in life despite his well-to-do circumstances of birth.

This scene starts with a young Bruce Wayne falling into a boarded up well near his father’s mansion while playing with a childhood friend, Rachel, as they search for an arrow relic. Not only is the fall quite steep causing young Bruce to fracture his arm, after also falling to the bottom of the well, Bruce’s presence agitates a flock of bats who come out rapidly to surround and pester Bruce who is afraid by their mere presence. While his fright appears to be very real, it is likely that they are more frightened of him then he is of them. Luckily, Rachel tells Bruce’s father, Thomas Wayne, about the incident who comes rushing with Alfred to get his young boy out of the well. The elder Wayne is a doctor who can set the bone and care for his son as a doctor would for any patient.

As Dr. Wayne and Alfred carry Bruce to his bedroom, he asks his son, ‘Why do we fall, Bruce?’ and he answers his own question as he knows the boy to not have picked up on the inherent wisdom that comes from falling: ‘So we can learn to pick ourselves up.’ This is the exact kind of fatherly advice that Bruce will remember not only as a child but as an adult as well.

Facing adversity not only as Bruce Wayne but also as Batman will cause him to remember the quote that his father imparts on him. There will be challenges, failures, and setbacks that he must deal with but the only way to get through them is to ‘pick yourself up’ and to keep moving forward. Dr. Wayne’s advice is key also in imparting to Bruce that only through ourselves can we overcome adversity and that we cannot rely on others to do it for us. While he was there for Bruce to help him get out of the well and to heal his bones, he like all fathers will not always be there for his children. Any child including Bruce Wayne must face the passage through adulthood, often by themselves, and be forced to reckon with life’s challenges head on and by yourself without the help of family and friends even when you are an eccentric billionaire born into wealth.

“All creatures feel fear…even the scary ones? Especially the scary ones.” Another key part of the scene that resonates is that the Bats did not attack Bruce because of who he was but because of what he did. All creatures including humans tend to lash out when they are fearful sadly and that includes the bats when Bruce unknowingly invades their territory in the well causing him to be attacked. This part of the scene is also a precursor to a later scene in the Opera house where a man, seemingly both desperate and homeless, steals from the Wayne’s and kills them out of both out of fear, self-loathing, and pain as he murders them to be able to live off the stolen goods to keep himself from economic deprivation.

A good film like this one develops side characters like Bruce Wayne’s characters to show how much they meant to Bruce before their deaths and how devastating the memory is for the young boy whose unfortunate murders would change his life forever. You really feel for Bruce given how wise, caring, and kind he was both to Bruce, to his wife, and to Gotham City.

In the scene, you also see Thomas Wayne plan to surprise his wife with a necklace of pearls and to ask for his son’s opinion before he plans to give it to her on a family outing to the opera house. He cajoles his son out of bed, seemingly healed from his injury, to join them at the opera house.

My favorite part of the scene is Dr. Wayne’s philanthropic efforts directed not just at charities, foundations, and such but also right to the city that helped made the Wayne’s very wealthy as a family. Bruce asks his father, “Did you build this train, Dad?” His father responds, “Gotham’s been good to our family. But the city’s been suffering. People less fortunate than us have been enduring very hard times.”

He goes on to say, “So, we built a new cheap public transportation system to unite the city. And at the center, Wayne Tower.” His son asks if he works at the gleaming financial center with his name, but Thomas says that he works at the hospital where he is most needed and leaves his company’s financial dealings to those men ‘better and more interested’ in that kind of work than he is.

In this version of Batman, Thomas Wayne is a philanthropist and billionaire you can’t help but be proud of in a way. He doesn’t shirk responsibilities and puts the money directly to help those who are less fortunate in a real manner while he is running the company. He may like to direct attention to himself and his name by having the public transportation system be centrally located in Wayne Tower but it’s a small price to pay for an investment project like that for those who need to get around the city in a cheap and efficient manner. For a billionaire to not hoard his wealth, to invest in the city he loves with an actual, physical embodiment of helping others get to work or to school such as a public transportation network, so the city’s residents can have greater opportunities, it makes his untimely death that much more tragic.

Not only a doctor helping at a city hospital but a man willing to put money towards an actual public good like transportation is an example of the rich and powerful galvanizing resources together to help people less fortunate than they are in a concrete way. Whether its building new schools, constructing a train system, or adding more hospitals, that is a real kind of philanthropy to a city that the wealthy of a society should realize their civic duty to do so beyond paying taxes.

Beyond Thomas Wayne’s message of ‘picking yourself up’ when you have an accident, or a tragedy happen to you, his willingness to invest money back into a city that made his family wealthy is a real example in a movie of how to give a fictional character real development in just one two-minute scene. It is a good example for other filmmakers and directors how to really start to care for a character before an untimely demise and to learn about why drives the other characters in the film who were affected by their death or demise. I highly recommend viewing this ‘why do we fall’ scene to better understand character development but also the Batman film franchise of Christopher Nolan as well.

If there’s one thing I know for sure, our world today could use more men and fathers like Thomas Wayne from ‘Batman Begins.’

Movie Scene link here: https://www.youtube.com/watchv=CPvGLawULKw&pbjreload=101

Don’t Rest on Your Laurels

“One of my favorite expressions in the English language: “Don’t rest on your laurels” means to not be complacent with what you have done and to keep moving forward.”

Complacency is the killer of any sustained success. What you have done in the past is in the past. Unfortunately, you cannot rest on your laurels for very long. One of my favorite expressions in the English language: “Don’t rest on your laurels” means to not be complacent with what you have done and to keep moving forward. Success is only temporary and while it can be lasting, if you don’t sustain what you’ve done to accomplish more, you may find yourself back at square one. You can be satisfied with your achievements and recognize them, but it is not wise to continue relying upon them when you need to be aware of what you have to do in the present and in the future.

With the current pandemic not going away anytime soon, it can be difficult to resign yourself to going with the flow, staying housebound, and waiting for things to become somewhat normal again. However, it should not be used as an excuse for you to let yourself go mentally or physically. Even if the first half of the year was a total wash for you and you put your own goals on hold, you still have a good chunk of the second half to make progress in whatever you set your mind to. Even though you may not be able to have fun as much as you like, this is a great time to reassess what is truly important to you, who truly matters to you, and how you want to be into the future. We all have extra time to think now and while that may feel like an undue burden, there is an opportunity in there to seek out what you are hoping to accomplish and will keep moving you forward during this unprecedented and difficult time.

Not resting on your laurels may sound difficult right now but it may be the perfect chance for you to move forward, to accomplish personal tasks that you’ve been putting off, and to pick up learning something new that you’ve been meaning to but never had the time before quarantine began or before you were resigned to staying at home more than you would have liked.

Each person is going to have their own set of goals and hopes but the main thing to keep in mind is that you have at least one thing that you want to accomplish that you didn’t have time for before the pandemic hit. Use your extra time even if it is just an hour or so each day to work towards a personal goal. With just one hour, you can accomplish a lot over the next five months. I would recommend setting a mental goal to hit like practicing meditation each day for 10 to 15 minutes or doing daily language practice for a new language that you would like to learn. You should also have one physical goal in mind like doing 50 pushups each day or 20 sprints or just being able to get in a form of exercise when you are not working or studying.

You cannot have just good physical health but poor mental health or vice versa. You need to work on both forms of health as they complement each other quite a bit. I truly believe that if you are making progress in both forms of health than you will be better able to confront the challenges of your day and your week. With this extra time at home, you can hit on both your mental and physical health in ways that you might not even be aware of.

If the gym is closed, go ahead and use your workout equipment at home. There are dozens of videos on how to do these kinds of exercises without needing very fancy equipment. You can also likely find stretch bands, jump rope, barbells, dumbbells, pull-up bars online to help you create that good 30-minute workout that can hit on different parts of the body. If you don’t have an outdoor space, look to your nearest park or public outdoor area to do sprints, go for a walk, go for a jog, or even do Yoga if you so desire to get a workout in.

Daily exercise is not only good for your body but it’s good for your mind as well. I think the pandemic has personally shown me as well the importance of staying fit and healthy and how it can get neglected when you are running around all the time, commuting to school or to work, and not making enough time for yourself to take care of your body. Now, with a little extra time, hopefully, we can collectively prioritize our physical health even if it’s just a simple home workout of 30 minutes.

Challenging yourself mentally on at least a weekly basis but preferably daily means learning something new to keep your mind sharp. If you are looking for work or haven’t been to school in a while, online learning opportunities are abundant from Coursera to LinkedIn Learning to Duolingo, which can challenge you to learn new skills to not only help you with your mental dexterity but can help you find a job depending on the type of industry you’re focusing on. Online learning is often less expensive than traditional means of education and since you are likely spending a lot more time in your apartment or your house, giving yourself thirty minutes to an hour per day of self-study can help you learn new skills while we are all living in this age of pandemic.

Keeping both your mental health and your physical health in mind during this trying time is very important. Not resting on your laurels even when life is influx and so many things are uncertain is not an excuse for your letting your mental and physical abilities go to waste. You are not only keeping yourself sharp to face ongoing challenges but you’re also getting out of your own head and letting your worries fall away for a little while. Wear a mask, socially distance, and wash your hands are all necessary in this current time but what’s also not being said is make sure you are taking care of both your mental and physical health too.

Whether it is a walk in the park, learning a new skill, doing home workouts, improving your cooking, trying to keep your routine even when homeward bound is very key to coming out of this pandemic better and more resilient. It’s something I have to work on myself but it’s key to keeping up a positive and forward-looking spirit. If you have more free time on your hands, that’s natural right now. Don’t become a sloth though and look to just vegetate out in front of the television. You have to do your best to stay active, stay positive, and keep moving forward.

It can be easy to rest on your laurels when much of our lives have been upended but you have to keep making progress towards your goals in ways that are possible right now. Hopefully, you have had time to think about which goals you want to achieve in the past few months and how you want to make the most of these remaining months of 2020. It’s been a hard year for everyone around the world, but you can still make it a fulfilling one for your own development by focusing on what you can control and how you make the most of these remaining months too.

Steady As We Go

As we all know by now, the world is going through a very tough time right now. Instead of speculating about when will things be back to some sense of normalcy, it would not be right to do guesswork about that as of today. Instead, I think it would be best to remind ourselves of a few things we can do over the next few weeks or months to prepare ourselves both mentally and physically for these challenging times. I would like to give my readers out there some advice which has helped me so far in terms of moving forward with my day-to-day activities and also the larger goals that I have for myself.

  1. Take Care of Your Friends and Family: Now is the time to be there for your family and close friends in any way that you can. Even if you are not in the same city or in the same country, take some time out of your day to call or message them to see how they are doing. If you can do so, try to help around the apartment or house with cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. This is a time to be close to the ones you love and to be there for them.

Remote work and schooling are important and should be a priority, but you should not forget to make time for those around you and to check in on them. Given how much running around you could be doing, you will likely have more time to reach out to loved ones and really take the time to engage in conversation or have dinner together or just to FaceTime every night before bed. I think it is the #1 priority right now to have during this difficult time.

  1. Look for New Opportunities: Obviously, this is a hard time both employment wise and financially. If you have to find a new job or a new opportunity, do your best to be prepared to find those jobs and work opportunities even if they are not ideal for your long-term career pursuits. In a time like this, it would be best to swallow your pride and expand your availability for jobs that will be coming down the pipeline. You have to do what you have to do within reason to keep the lights on and feed your family. It may be working to stock shelves to delivering groceries or to work as a receptionist but if it comes with health insurance and a decent wage, it may be in your best interest to take that opportunity at least for a few months.

Nothing is permanent and even if it is not a job you want to be doing, consider it a way to build up your resilience and to be helping others especially if the job calls for it. The wider you broaden the search, the better off you will be. You just want to make sure you polish off your resume and your cover letter to update it after a gap of some time.

  1. Be Kind to Others: People are stressed out and worried. You have to act like that is currently the situation and give others the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know what is going on in their lives during this crisis and it’s not something you should be asking about. Be respectful, patient, and kind. Don’t be demanding, rude, or just overall a bad person to others. There is such a thing as karma, and it can accrue in both good and bad ways especially now. I do believe that you should treat others the way you would want to be treated and that is how you should approach life under quarantine.

Tempers can flare with ease and things can get out of control so just be aware of your emotions, realize that nothing is worth a verbal or physical confrontation over (especially toilet paper), and always remember to say please and thank you. It does not cost anything to be nice and you should always leave the house if you have to now with that in mind. Good manners will always help you get through a crisis like that.

  1. Volunteer and Donate If You Can: This is only a suggestion but this is the time to give blood if you are eligible, donate extra food and clothes to those organizations who need it and can vouch as to where the money is going, and also see if you can deliver groceries if you have free time. It should go without saying that you should only be volunteering in public if you have a clean bill of health and have not been traveling overseas in the past two weeks. I have seen numerous remote volunteering opportunities pop up in the past week include video conferencing with senior citizens and asking as a pen-pal for them as they stay secluded at home and could use a friend.

Get together with some friends and put together a spreadsheet of organizations / places in your local town or city that are asking for monetary donations or for food/clothing/supplies, etc. It is a misconception that you need to leave the house to donate or to volunteer. In a time like this, sometimes, people especially the elderly or the solitary just could use someone to talk to or listen to them. I have heard stories of mental health professionals volunteering their time for free to help those people in need and that warms my heart quite a bit. If you are not completely healthy and/or free of symptoms, you should not be volunteering outside of the house!

  1. Stay Home and Wash Your Hands: This advice should go without saying by now, but it should be repeated that you should not be leaving your home unless your job requires it or if you need to pick up groceries or go to the pharmacy. I try not to compulsively wash my hands but it’s better to overdo it than under-do it so make sure you sing the ‘happy birthday’ song twice and use enough soap for the 20 seconds it takes to wash your hands.

If you can go for a walk on your own, it is great to get some fresh air even if it is just around the block. You will need some sunlight (vitamin D) and as long as you maintain your social distancing of 2 meters (six feet), there’s nothing wrong with walking for 10-15 minutes to clear your head and shake off the inevitable cabin fever.

  1. Cleaning, Cooking, and Organizing: A good way to avoid being lethargic during this time is to occupy yourself away from work and/or school by keeping things neat, tidy, or clean in the house or apartment where you reside. Daily tasks like cooking meals, cleaning your room, or organizing your papers will definitely keep you busy. Currently, it’s ‘Spring cleaning’ season so you will have your work cut out for you these next few quarantined weeks if you have not cleaned your place since the beginning of the wintertime.

Who knows? If you found extra items or clothes around during cleanup time, you could perhaps donate them when you’re finished collecting all those things you may not need but may help out somebody else during this tough time. With restaurants closed for the time being and delivery every day an expensive proposition, now is the best time to crack open your old recipe book and take your cooking more seriously.

You may be able to eat healthier now more than ever with the added time to cook and prepare your meals in advance and it is a good way to bond if you have a family or a loved one with you. Organizing extends to your personal computer and devices as well to make sure your files, bills, and documents are in order. Don’t forget to take the time to give your phone, tablet, or laptop a good cleaning too because it is a germ magnet and it would be wise to keep it clean as much as possible.

  1. Get Some Exercise In: Gyms and fitness centers are closed. No more pools, saunas, or even Yoga classes. So, what do you do now? Well, it can be easy to give up on your fitness goals but luckily, we have the Internet and delivery services are still working. You can utilize both to keep working out as there are hundreds of home workout exercises and guides out there now. Most of the information is free to use and easily accessible especially with YouTube videos showing you exactly how to do these exercises.

I believe you don’t need much to do these workouts as most of them can be done just with your bodyweight when it comes to pull-ups, sit-ups, pushups, squats, crunches, etc. If you can spend the money, it doesn’t hurt to get some free weights or some barbells in order to add some weight to your exercises. You can also get creative by doing some Yoga and Meditation with just a simple mat.

Due to the Internet, you can look up practically anything fitness related to create a good 30 to 45-minute workout. As if that wasn’t enough, you can always use your body to move quickly with sprints, hill runs, jogs, or a brisk walk if you can get out of the house for a bit. It won’t be the same as going to a physical gym, which has a ton of equipment and a sauna or other great amenities but it’s better than nothing and it is relatively easy to make the most of it.

  1. Flex Your Creative Muscle: If you have some extra time on your hands now, put it to good use by being creative. Sit down and figure out how best you want to pass the time in a productive way. Perhaps you can learn an instrument, pick up a new language, or even write an eBook or an entire book. Harness that energy into action to make the most of your time spent indoors and without most of the distractions that we have in our normal daily lives.

In the next weeks and months, I am positive that there will be an absolute growth in creative pursuits, both online and offline. There are a number of skills and traits that you can work on almost always for free or if you spend money, it is likely be a worthwhile investment from the right teacher. It is also a great time to develop that business idea or side hustle you have been thinking about but never actually committed to. You can always bounce these ideas off your family and friends or if you are able to do so, try to find like-minded people through your network or your organizations to see what they think of your idea and if it has some potential.

Isaac Newton, for example, worked day and night, when a great plague was spreading around the world and due to the time he had to just sit, learn, and experiment, he was able to come up with the brilliant equations and inventions that helped invent the modern life that we have today. Even if you fail, it is better to have tried and done your best than to have wondered later on, what if?

We will all get through this difficult time. It will be a tragic time in human history, but you will be a stronger and more compassionate person at the other end of this pandemic. There are often things in life that happen that are out of our control. It sucks and it is demoralizing but you have to move on, move forward, and keep on moving. We have no choice but to move on and to make the most of the time that we are given. We owe it to ourselves, our family, and our community to be the best that we can be especially now. I hope you take this difficult time to be caring, be kind, and be productive. I wish you well and hope you are well.