community – The Life and Times of Ben Weinberg

I’ll Take Kind Gestures Over Kind Words Any Day

“When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.”

When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.

Even rarer than kind words are kind actions. Post-COVID, people’s social skills have atrophied, making everyday courtesies harder to come by. Things like holding the door, walking on the right side of the sidewalk, or letting someone merge on the highway might seem small but they matter far more than words alone, and we could all use more of them.

Having these kinds of gestures be optional instead of compulsory represents an overall reflection of the fracturing of what used to be common courtesy along with the kind of bare minimum expectations we have of one another too often. Instead of kind gestures, we often have the opposite now: people being loud in public places, not using earphones or headphones on their meetings or in the music they listen to, or just not minding their body language or others’ personal space. I value the importance of these basic gestures because they take such little time or self-awareness yet have become harder to find even when I consider them to be increasingly important to societal harmony.

It’s one thing for strangers to abstain from kind gestures or words but it’s entirely another when they come from business associates, colleagues, family, or friends. Taking the initiative and building a two-sided friendship or relationship, professional or personal, doesn’t take much to sustain but it truly can make a world of difference to the other person(s). Such kind gestures mean more than the average word could ever and people really remember those sincere actions more than giving a basic compliment or heaping on effusive praise.

These kind gestures depend on the kind of relationship you have with the person or group in question, but sending business associates a holiday card or remembering their birthday can strengthen the relationship significantly. You could also offer to buy them coffee or tea for providing advice or mentorship with your work or business. With work colleagues, it doesn’t hurt to share your appreciation in giving a kind word for them, but it could mean much more to bring in food or drinks for lunch or help them with a problem they are having on a difficult project. If you’re a manager, kind words are nice to hear but recognizing your employees with a bonus, a promotion, or just an award or other kind of real recognition can make a huge difference with morale building or employee retention at your firm.

With one’s family and friends, it’s always important to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and show your appreciation for their presence in your life. However, it’s always better to take the initiative to ask them out for a dinner or a concert or just to give them a call consistently to check-in with them and see how they’re really doing. Keeping a friendship or family relationship in good shape is hard to do but at least making the effort to see each other and to do so in a two-way manner is key to keeping it sustainable.

Being complimentary, supportive, and positive are all great with your words but real actions or gestures will always speak loudest. That’s especially the case when you’ve known that person a long time and have a history together. Sometimes, friendships end out of nowhere and family bonds are breakable by one party or the other, but if you want to make a real effort, make sure to rely on kind gestures primarily because they mean a lot more to someone than your words.

These days, it’s hard to get kind words out of strangers or people you don’t know and even more so when it comes to expecting basic social graces or gestures of kindness. As a result, we are starved for those kinds of gestures and actions that are unprompted, considerate, and relevant to us. We need those friends, family, and even close associates doing kind things for us and for them to be reciprocated as well because it helps foster our happiness, joy, and overall life satisfaction more than we think.

Kindness begets kindness. While words can move the needle, gestures, actions, and time spent together make a world of difference. Remember: kind words are the minimum of a polite society but making kind gestures second nature to you, especially for the people in your orbit, will make your life richer and fuller. Tomorrow, remember to hold the door for someone, send that quick ‘thank you’ note if someone did something kind for you, or buy a mentor or a friend a cup of coffee. Small gestures always make a big impact, which makes life better for everyone.

Corruption Is A Weed That Is Not Easily Removed

“Invasive, resilient, and growing back sometimes stronger if not pulled out or removed completely, corruption is a weed that is not easily removed from society. Corruption has occurred throughout human systems at different levels throughout history since the dawn of mankind.”

Invasive, resilient, and growing back sometimes stronger if not pulled out or removed completely, corruption is a weed that is not easily removed from society. Corruption has occurred throughout human systems at different levels throughout history since the dawn of mankind. It’s a recurring feature that comes up across the world with examples ranging from post-Soviet oligarchies to Latin American caudillismo to modern lobbying culture without imposed limits or oversight mechanisms.

Corruption has different forms that emerge depending on the permissiveness of both the individual culture and its society. While corruption can’t be permanently eradicated, it must be confronted and diminished as much as possible by both citizens and leaders. A mature society recognizes the existential risk involved in how corruption can permeate a community, a society, a government, and how it must be pruned as much as possible with legal and rule-based consequences.

In my definition of corruption, it’s more than just outright bribery, grift, or stealing, it’s systematic decay in the forms it can take such as persistent favoritism, nepotism, cronyism, apathy, and moral erosion when there are no consequences for breaking the law or not obeying the rules of society. There are psychological roots involved in how corruption first gets planted as a root when greed, survival instinct, permissiveness from the society, and peer pressure takes hold since “everyone else is doing it” and “there won’t be any consequences for me” for flouting the rules or laws on the books that are supposed to stop it. There is fertile soil in any society for corruption to grow and spread as a ‘weed’ when institutions are weak, unresponsive, or don’t push back, transparency is low or non-existent, and accountability is rare for leaders and citizens.

Some examples of corruption digging in are when local or national officials enrich themselves from public projects or are enriched personally from private or backroom deals. They are involved personally in these same deals when they hold public office and do not separate their public role from their private life, which causes obvious conflict of interest issues. In the corporate world, when lobbying is not curtailed or regulated where it turns into legalized bribery. Unlimited money from a company given to a politician or a community leader to influence their decision-making is corrupt in nature, especially when this kind of ‘donation’ is not disclosed to the public. This kind of pervasiveness can spread to everyday life where the average citizen sees that those in power or who have wealth are getting away with the corruption and are not being held accountable. Possibly, you can see certain citizens cutting corners, committing nepotism, or looking the other way in response instead of pushing back and calling for accountability.

There need to be constant ‘gardeners’ on watch who need to get their hands involved to weed out the corruption in their society. Whether it’s civil society actors like journalists, whistleblowers, or reformers, they have a role to play especially when leaders or public officials do not hold themselves accountable. Backlash, burnout, and even threats to their lives are constant risks for these ‘gardeners’ but in a corrupt society, their role becomes increasingly important specifically when dismantling civil society becomes one of the goals of corrupt leadership. However, if society keeps rewarding or ignoring corruption taking place and the soil for it is fertile, then there is only so much that whistleblowers or journalists can do to stem the tide of corruption. The best the ‘gardeners’ can do is bring the corruption to light and to release the papers, reports, and evidence so that the public, likely unknown to them, just what is being done behind closed doors.

Sometimes, corruption is not limited to one leader but rather they can spawn a cascading effect as once it takes place with one central leader, his or her influence within a cabinet, an agency, or an entire government leads to the ‘hydra effect’ where it’s becomes beyond just one person and is institutionalized. Corruption becomes more than just a one-off event or about one leader, it becomes part of the culture itself, and this is when it becomes hardest to bring to light or to remove it easily from the wider society. Societies sometimes are complicit in their comfort with the level of corruption they are willing to tolerate and prefer the “devil they know” to how the system could be possibly change for the better. When you think of some examples here, the Italian mafia interlaced with the politics of the country post-WWII, when you hear of past political leaders in Colombia or Mexico who had known ties to drug gangs and cartels, or when lobbying becomes a revolving door between government and industry in the United States, that’s when it becomes embedded in the institutions themselves and is hard to remove like a cancer.

Technology can both help and hinder corruption as a double-edged sword depending on how it is used by the individual and the institution. It can either lead to more transparency by sharing instances of corruption more widely with citizens and being able to gather evidence to share with more reporting outlets. It can also lead to more digital forms of corruption that are becoming common like crypto scams, online pyramid schemes, and surveillance tools used against whistleblowers and activists. Also, illicit money including use of bogus cryptocurrencies can move faster and be dispersed faster than laws and regulations on the book can track or pinpoint the money laundering origin. Corrupt actors will also use online sources of information to promote disinformation, attack opponents with false information, or flood the zone with different orders and actions that could be considered corrupt, but for which takes time to track, to respond to, and to bring a case against in a court of law.

Nations can still control or minimize corruption through using their institutions’ digital systems in the modern age to counteract the growth of corruption because of the cyber world with their own digital tools. Whether its transparency laws on the books, or secure data regulations (the European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), these institutional tools recently developed can help assist in the fight against corruption online. Strengthening an independent judiciary or legislative body is also key to push back against overreach by executive power.

Legislating for stronger whistleblower protections as well as removing threats against civil society are other ways to stem the tide of corrupt actors from lashing out against accountability measures. Another key component that relates to preventing corruption from reaching the average citizen is encouraging more civic education about how to prevent or remove it from society by focusing on trust-building within different communities including having town halls, open hearing and sessions by government officials, and encouraging public input on referendums, propositions, and leadership matters such as term limits for politicians. It’s no secret that more developed nations in Scandinavia (Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway), Singapore, and in Oceania (Australia, New Zealand) have strict enforcement measures against corruption. In these countries, there is high trust in institutions, transparency in government actions, and social shame for citizens who engage in corruption or encourage corrupt behaviors.

The roots of corruption are there in each one of us and it’s not just out there as a distant term that applies to only the rich and powerful who are affected by its presence. How we conduct ourselves and how we relate to others has a direct impact on the kind of society you live in. When small personal compromises like lying, favoritism, or abuse of power take root, they spread throughout society little by little. “Weed management starts in your own garden” so if you want to fight corruption, hold yourself to a high standard and don’t engage at all with those people you may encounter in life who have acted corruptly or encourage it in your society.

The fight against corruption is also about the fight against one’s ego or greed or appetite for power or influence. Corruption, while it can’t be 100% eradicated, it can be minimized and kept under tight controls with constant vigilance by both the individual and the institution. It’s not just “liberty that requires our constant vigilance” as abolitionist Wendell Phillips once wrote in 1952 but also about maintaining our integrity and preventing others from falling into corrupt practices. Societies that understand the existential threat of corruption and how endless yet necessary the work of ‘weeding’ it out will be are the ones that will prosper, be just, and keep the weeds at bay.

Real vs. Performative Patriotism in the Modern Era

“In today’s hyper-visual and hyper-fast world, it is usually the performative type of patriotism being showcased as a badge to wear or a symbol to show off.”

Picture this scenario: one person is screaming, “I love my country” while wrapping the flag around them at a rally and dressed up in that country’s colors, while another person nearby in the same city or town is quietly volunteering to mentor at a local school or makes a habit of voting in each election. Who is the patriot here? While you might say, “well, they both love their country and they’re both patriotic.” I would say in response, yes, they’re both patriotic but only one of them is performing real patriotism compared to performative patriotism. In today’s hyper-visual and hyper-fast world, it is usually the performative type of patriotism being showcased as a badge to wear or a symbol to show off.

This contrasts with how real patriotism is more about showcasing the values to live by which the nation stands for and in providing acts of service to your nation, in whatever way you can contribute. There’s nothing wrong with waving the flag, wearing your country’s colors, or showing love for one’s country in whatever way you deem fit but it’s not the same kind of patriotism as real acts that take blood, sweat, and sometimes tears in the work done to better one’s nation. I will explore the fundamental differences in terms of real and performative patriotism, and why real acts of patriotism are needed more than ever before.

Let me define first what I mean by real patriotism and performative patriotism. Both forms of patriotism do have a love of country as I had mentioned earlier. However, real patriotism as I define it is a love of country demonstrated through actions, responsibilities, sacrifice, and a willingness to critique the nation when necessary and work to improve it too. Performative patriotism, by contrast, involves loud declarations of loyalty, proudly showing symbol displays, and actions that focus on mainly visually promoting the nation as it is rather than working to improve or better the nation in some real way.

The tenets of real patriotism show up in different ways and are varied depending on the nation itself. However, real patriotism often focuses primarily on service to one’s community and the country, having constructive criticism and acknowledging the country’s faults, being a responsible and engaged citizen over making symbolic acts, and promoting unity and common ground rather than stoking division and distrust.

Whether it is military service, civil service in government, volunteering time and/or money to a cause, being civically engaged about the issues of the day, these are all different ways to serve your country responsibly. No country in the world is perfect but being able to criticize one’s nation freely is an act of patriotism because you care enough to acknowledge your home country’s flaws and desire to make it better. Being an activist and standing up for basic rights in one’s country, being a whistleblower, or a public reformer are all acts of patriotism that we should consider both real and integral.

It is one thing to wave a flag and shout your country’s name and it’s a whole other commitment to vote in every election regardless of whether it’s a local or national election. In addition, being educated about the civics process and your country’s government is key along with being a taxpayer of course and protecting the rights of your fellow man or woman. Any of these real actions as a citizen drive a country forward and make it a better place for all citizens. One quality of real patriotism that I find is overlooked is bringing people together, especially of different backgrounds, ethnicities, or religions. Real patriots do not tear their fellow citizens down or make their lives worse. Real patriots promote common ground, working together, and trying to find real solutions to the nation’s issues, whatever they may be.

Performative Patriotism has its time and place but if you are only performing and not putting in the real work around patriotism then you cannot be a patriot. Wearing flags, singing the anthem, making a pledge is all well and good but being able to put substantive action behind those symbolic gestures and will make a bigger difference than these performative acts. It has also become popular to virtue signal love of country on social media or at political events, to be seen showing off your patriotism rather than to do the hard work that takes days, months, weeks, and even years at a time to make the country better.

Supporting one’s country is great but the “my country, right or wrong” mindset also discourages admitting flaws, working to progress the country forward, and discourages actual dissent too. In addition, using divisive language that pits citizens against each other or scapegoats them for the problems that the nation is facing is not patriotism at all and is unjust and wrong. Patriotism should not be associated with exclusionary or divisive language but sadly that seems to be the case in the modern era.

Examples of real patriots for me include the civil rights movement during the 1960’s in the United States who worked to open the doors of opportunity and justice for every American and fought and sometimes bled to make America a more just and fair country. Teachers, health care workers, civil servants, and veterans are all real patriots who work jobs that improve and better the nation because of the work that they do. It’s also the volunteers who perform acts of service each day to clothe people, feed and shelter the homeless, and clean our streets, towns, and cities who are real patriots who often are not recognized for the work that they do.

Examples of performative patriots who say they care about the country but don’t put the work in are those who hide behind the flag without putting acts of service or work in to make the nation better. Protestors who act violently against their fellow citizens in clashing protests who claim they do it out of love of the country but who fan the flames of hatred, discord, and division. It’s also the companies and people who believe they are patriots by supporting political candidates but spend untold amounts of money to tip the scales in their favor because they know they can and think they are doing the right thing even when they are gaming the political system because of their wealth and influence.

Why should this classification of real vs. performative patriotism matter? Because I’ve found that in recent years performative patriotism has been used to divide people, rather than unite people for betterment of their country. This is not an isolated issue, and it isn’t going away. People need to start equating patriotism with real acts of duty, service, and sacrifice rather than thinking that flag waving and wearing or being loud about your opinion is being patriotic instead of focusing on the responsibilities of citizenry.

I believe that symbolic acts and gestures, while they have their place, have taken priority over actions that would unite people in a common cause, make their country better, and improve the state of their communities too. Social media, sports, and entertainment tend to focus on performative patriotism rather than real patriotism too partly because performative patriotism is loud, quick, and anyone can do it easily. Real patriotism takes hard work, sacrifice, and consistent efforts that often go unnoticed and unappreciated.

How do we spread real patriotism instead of performative patriotism? I think it’s important to dive into the full history and politics of a country rather than shying away from certain events or certain ways of thinking. It’s important to not only focus on the myths of a nation but the messy truths and sometimes ugly events which we need to learn from. If we forget the ugly parts of a country’s history, it is more than likely the nation itself will be doomed to repeat them in one form or another. It is also key to promote acts of civic engagement like voting in each election (making it easier for citizens to vote too), supporting local activism that is peaceful rather than vilifying it, and increasing access to community work and volunteering opportunities, which is something I think 99% of us, maybe universally, would support in our respective countries.

Additionally, we should not only honor military members and recognize veterans but also remember those people working in the public sector who do the hard work behind the scenes to keep a country running and who work hard to better it each day too. Whether it is civil servants, police, firefighters, teachers, doctors, nurses, and sanitation workers, they each are doing their patriotic duty each day even if we don’t recognize them as patriots, they are. Real patriotism is often quiet, not loud. You don’t need to scream and shout to show you love your country deeply.

Real patriotism is rather about showing up each day, doing the work well, and contributing to the betterment of society and the country. Let’s not mistake flag waving and noise making as solely showing love of one’s country going forward. A flag in your yard or waving on your porch means nothing if your neighbor is suffering and you do nothing about it to lend a hand to him or her. Real patriots acknowledge and fix what’s broken about a nation. They do the hard work and can still wave the flag too if they want to because they put in the effort and can say they have invested the blood, sweat, and tears to make their nation better. Can a performative patriot say the same? I don’t believe so.

The Need to Revive Third Spaces

“In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant.”

In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant. The rapid rise of social media, virtual teleconferencing, and remote work, while convenient, has inadvertently eroded the fabric of community life across the world. People now spend more time in their private homes or virtual worlds, leaving little room for real-world, in-person interaction and causing our social skills to atrophy.

This new reality has led to a society that feels increasingly fragmented, even though we are more “connected” than ever before. Reviving ‘third spaces’ as places that are neither at home nor at work, is crucial for fostering more community, improving overall mental well-being, and re-establishing a sense of belonging that is rapidly slipping away.

The concept of third spaces was first introduced by the sociologist Ray Oldenburg in the 1980s. Mr. Oldenburg argued that people need separate spaces outside of their homes (the first space) and workplaces (the second space) to relax, socialize, and build relationships. These third spaces are at the heart of community life, where casual encounters can lead to meaningful connections, new ideas can be exchanged, and civic engagement can flourish. Historically, third spaces have included places like cafés, libraries, public parks, community centers, and even religious institutions—venues that offer a neutral ground where everyone is welcome, and no one is excluded.

Third spaces are characterized by several key attributes: they are easily accessible to the public, offer a low barrier to entry, and are often inexpensive or free. The atmosphere is typically relaxed, informal, and conducive to spontaneous interactions. Unlike at work or even at home to some extent, people can let their guard down in these third spaces, making it easier to build authentic friendships and relationships. These third places provide a vital counterbalance to the isolated routines of home and work life, which can serve as anchors for community cohesion.

In the 2020s thus far, third spaces have been steadily disappearing from our society or transforming in ways that reduce their community-building potential. Many cafés and bars have morphed into workspaces, filled with patrons glued to their laptops, headphones in, and social interactions minimized. It doesn’t help when the music is blaring, and the focus is on making a profit rather than stoking conversation and comraderie.

Libraries, once vibrant hubs of communal activity, are often silent, with the rise of digital media and one-click access to books, music, movies, etc. These technological changes have reduced the need for people to physically gather there at the library even when they enjoy the nostalgia of it. Public parks are underfunded and sometimes ignored, and community centers struggle to keep their doors open amidst tight budgets and a lack of spreading the word around the town or city they want to appeal to.

The COVID-19 pandemic further accelerated this decline in third spaces. Lockdowns, social distancing, and remote work have made public gathering spaces feel risky, unappealing, or unnecessary. Even as restrictions have now eased or gone away completely, the habits formed during the pandemic continue to persist. People are increasingly content to stay home, order food and goods online, and engage with others through screens. This societal shift has left communities more disconnected and less resilient, especially to misinformation and polarization.

To address this growing disconnection, I believe that a society needs to reinvest in and revitalize these third spaces. Several types of third spaces are particularly worth reviving including the following:

Community Cafés: Cafés have long been the quintessential third spaces, but they need to reclaim their role as social hubs rather than workstations. Imagine local coffee shops with community tables, guest speakers, encouraging conversation between strangers, or hosting regular events like poetry readings or discussion groups. These spaces should foster interaction and connection, not isolation.
Public Libraries: Libraries are one of the few remaining third spaces that are truly accessible to all, regardless of one’s socio-economic status. Modern libraries should expand their role as community centers by offering more than just books. They can host workshops, film screenings, art exhibits, and civic meetings on important issues going on within the community. Libraries can serve as the epicenter of a community’s cultural and intellectual life. They should also include events for people of different generations or even cut across generations for communal meetups.
Public Parks and Outdoor Spaces: Parks and outdoor spaces provide the setting for unstructured play, exercise, and relaxation. These spaces should be maintained and expanded, with facilities that encourage community use—such as picnic areas, playgrounds, sports courts, and outdoor stages for performances. In urban areas, the creation of pocket parks or pedestrianized streets can make a big difference in encouraging public gatherings. I have always liked the idea of having street fairs that encourage artistic and musical expression from those people within a community. Outdoor exercise areas for adults are also a great way to get people out of the home especially when they don’t pay a price to take care of their physical health.
Cultural Centers: Places that celebrate local arts, traditions, and multicultural experiences can serve as vibrant third spaces. These centers can host exhibitions, live performances, and hands-on workshops that bring diverse groups together. By emphasizing inclusivity and creative expression, cultural centers help bridge societal divides and foster a sense of shared identity. I would also extend the appeal of these centers to include a focus on learning different languages, having potlucks or dinner events where different cultures can express themselves to the community, they have a presence in.
Co-Working and Maker Spaces: While many co-working spaces have become more like isolating offices, there is still a potential to redesign them as collaborative third spaces. These spaces can blend work and socialization by offering communal areas for shared projects, networking events, and skill-sharing sessions. Similarly, maker spaces—where people can create, build, and invent—can foster a strong sense of community among innovators, entrepreneurs, and hobbyists. Having night classes or bootcamp sessions for adults looking to reskill or to improve their skillsets is also a way of making co-working spaces appealing not only in the daytime but at night as well. If these places can lower their costs to the public or be free to a community, it would make a huge difference to those people who need its services.

Third spaces are more than just locations for socializing and learning new things, but they also play a fundamental role in the overall health and vitality of a community.

Here’s how that is the case in various ways:

Strengthening Social Bonds: Third spaces foster relationships between people who might not otherwise cross paths or meet each other. These spaces allow for casual, spontaneous interactions that can lead to friendships, collaborations, and support networks. By creating environments where people can come together and engage with each other without the profit motive in the way, third spaces will help reduce feelings of loneliness and social isolation, which are on the rise in many parts of the world.
Encouraging Civic Engagement: Third spaces often serve as venues for community discussions, grassroots organizing, and public forums. These spaces make it easier for individuals to get involved in local issues, volunteer, or participate in civic activities. When people feel connected to their community through shared spaces, they are more likely to take an active role in improving it. It provides a way for their voices to be heard and not ignored by those who hold power or hold public office.
Promoting Diversity and Inclusion: In an increasingly polarized and divided world, third spaces can help bridge divides between people. These are the places where people from different backgrounds, professions, and viewpoints can come together on neutral ground to discuss important topics that matter to the community. In inclusive third spaces, everybody is welcome to partake, and everyone has an equal opportunity to participate, which can break down barriers between us and foster mutual understanding.
Enhancing Mental and Physical Well-Being: The act of simply being around other people in a relaxed, welcoming environment can have significant benefits for one’s mental health. Third spaces offer a respite from the pressures of work and home life where you are always expected to play a role and do your part. Being able to provide people opportunities for recreation, relaxation, and emotional support away from those other two spaces is key to a healthier life. Physical third spaces like parks and recreation centers also encourage healthy lifestyles through outdoor activities and sports that everyone is welcome to join and use.
Revitalizing Local Economies: Vibrant third spaces can breathe life into local economies regardless of whether it’s for a town or a city. When communities invest in their parks, cultural centers, and other public spaces, they attract traffic and interest to surrounding businesses. Small businesses like cafés, bookstores, and boutiques often thrive when they are near popular third spaces, creating a positive economic ripple effect.

In today’s disconnected age, the need to revive third spaces is essential for building healthier, more connected communities, which are lacking in many towns and cities these days. These ‘third spaces’, which are neither at home nor at work, provide crucial opportunities for socialization, civic engagement, and personal well-being.

By reimagining and reinvesting in community cafés, public libraries, parks, cultural centers, co-working spaces, and even new types of third spaces, we can restore the fabric of community life that is increasingly being frayed. In a time when loneliness and polarization are rampant, third spaces offer a powerful antidote—one that is more important than ever in the 2020s. Reviving these spaces is not just a nostalgic pursuit; it is a necessary step toward a more inclusive, resilient, and vibrant society.

Combating Alienation and Loneliness in Society

“This is an unfortunate societal transformation that may seem inevitable, but it can be reversed by improving mental health access, building stronger communities, and having better societal outcomes, it is crucial that some solutions are tested and put into place.”

One of the biggest challenges of the 21^st century will be focused on how to foster solid connections, friendships, and relationships that are both sustainable and fruitful. Recently, more mainstream attention has been paid to how societies, especially in the Western world, are dealing with a surge in alienation and loneliness. It has caught the attention of politicians, community leaders, and authors who are interested in noting how people are fostering fewer social connections, maintaining fewer friendships, and increasingly living alone. This is an unfortunate societal transformation that may seem inevitable, but it can be reversed by improving mental health access, building stronger communities, and having better societal outcomes, it is crucial that some solutions are tested and put into place.

Traditional means of building strong social connections have been ironically undermined by the rise of social media where people can connect virtually but often, this is difficult to maintain in the real world. You really must make a serious effort these days to build your own friendship and communal networks whereas in previous generations, it was much easier in your small town or village to maintain ties with the local community or religious center, gather at town hall meetings, and be able to know who your neighbor was. It has fallen on the individual person to build their own network, which is often hard to do, especially if you are in a larger town or city, where there are so many people around, yet it may take longer to foster a deeper connection.

Religious places of worship, community centers, social clubs, and communal gathering places have taken a backseat to online social media channels, which while they can bring people together, they tend to be more focused on larger groups and gatherings, which can make it harder to get to know people better. More and more people can do things whether it’s shop, order food, build a business, and learn online, and while that has been transformative in providing greater opportunities and even connected people, I do believe traditional ways to meet people have been on the decline causing a subsequent rise in alienation and loneliness.

While many societal leaders are starting to pick up on this unfortunate phenomenon, it will take a lot of organizing, resources, and cooperation to reverse this trend in the long-term. I am going to propose three ways that by working together in our own towns and cities, we can work to bring people together in a healthy and sustainable way.

Many third spaces outside of home and work have been commoditized in terms of meeting people and it can cause a financial strain on individuals who do not have the means to join an event or a group. I advocate for building and maintaining third spaces that are a public good, maintained and run by community members, and for which are made known to as many of the community as possible through consistent public awareness campaigns.

Each community center would be a good use of taxpayer funds and would be available seven days a week. I discourage the use of membership fees like a YMCA and its offerings would be different depending on the needs or interests of the community. I do think such a third space would allow for peer-to-peer mentoring events, ‘getting to know your neighbor’ dinners or potlucks, and allowing for classes or groups that can discuss financial literacy, cooking, nutrition, and even job searching and networking help to flourish there.

To some degree, these kinds of community centers do exist, but they are limited in scope, often cost fees, and are often hard to reach. These community centers can also take over for dilapidated strip malls, abandoned office buildings, or unused parking lots where the neighboring space can become a public park, playground, an exercise area, or even a fruit / vegetable garden for those people who don’t have access to fresh produce in their neighborhood. A greater long-term challenge is making sure these new kinds of community centers are accessible to all people because not everyone has a car, or a bike, or can walk there. Cities and towns that are designed around the car and where public transportation is hard to use have caused a spike in loneliness, and that is where these community centers can really help fill the gap.

In the long run, it is a crucial and needed change in ensuring that more places, including these community centers, can be accessed by bike, bus, rail, and by foot. The sprawling nature of most American towns and cities has exacerbated the atomization and loneliness issue, which creates a lost opportunity for connections to be fostered. In my view, significant changes to public policy surrounding this issue are unlikely in the near term, but the way we design our communities in the future and emphasizing greater accessibility of free third spaces can really make a dent in our current loneliness predicament.

2. Once you have these community centers in place, you must make sure that there is serious outreach across the town or city in question. I do think there is a current deficit not only in the lack of third spaces, but the ones that exist, few people know about. City, state, and even national governments can and should do a better job reaching out both online and in-person to people, especially if they are living alone, to highlight opportunities in the community to meet others.

When someone is new to a town or city, it would be an excellent idea for a neighbor or a landlord or a town leader to reach out to someone (with their permission, of course) to highlight ways to get involved in their community. Religious centers and places of worship have done this successfully for generations yet in the public sphere, there is a severe dearth of awareness when someone moves to a new town or city regarding which community centers are nearby, what resources are available to learn and to work, and how they can find the resources, the people, or the activities they want to get involved in.

There’s something to be said for the phrase, ‘to hit the ground running’, it can be an anxious, lonely, and often difficult time to make yourself feel at home when you move to a new community or city. I believe if there was a more concentrated and sustained approach to making someone feel welcome regardless of who they are, where they come from, and what their age is, it would really diminish the current loneliness crisis that we find ourselves in as a society. Something as simple as a neighbor, a community leader, or a townsperson, taking the new arrival under their wing, and inviting them to one of the ‘third spaces’ around them, can make a huge difference in that person’s sense of belonging, and even diminish their loneliness. When someone moves to a new town or city, an online community portal and an in-person community hub can go a long way to connect that person to the activities, hobbies, and needs that they are looking to fulfill as they make a life for themselves there.

3. Lastly and most significantly, I believe in volunteering as a time-tested and successful way to both give back to a community and to feel connected to others. Volunteering is not easy to commit to in terms of time and effort, but I believe it is a crucial way to avoid people feeling disconnected or lonely.

It is a positive thing to donate money or resources to a worthwhile charity or organization, but I believe it is even better to spend time with others committing yourself to a good cause at the local, national, or international level. Community hubs, sustained awareness of opportunities near where you live, and being able to find the volunteer work that you are interested in doing can help you find a greater purpose or meaning beyond what you thought was possible.

There is plenty of good work that can be done to revitalize communities and cities in your country and elsewhere. The key is to make sure that as many people are as aware of it as possible. I would argue that one or two years of volunteer service on a local or national scale would make young people more connected and relate more to each other if they were participating in a shared service.

Making a year or two of volunteer service mandatory for young people ages 18-26 would help combat loneliness and alienation among that age demographic and could also be made open to older demographics depending on the interest level. People should feel invested in their communities and where they live. I think that a mandatory volunteer service should be encouraged and if we can provide educational or employment incentives in exchange for the completion of a national or local volunteer service program such as reduced or free tuition at a higher education institution, I do believe this would not only combat loneliness but encourage new friendships and also build the community hubs, parks, and centers that are currently lacking Being flexible with volunteer service is key especially when it comes to managing educational or employment obligations but offering part-time or weekend options for people can give this kind of initiative a greater chance for success.

If ordinary citizens, especially younger citizens, see that their local and national leadership are aware that there is a loneliness crisis, are actively providing resources to the communities to find possible solutions to this growing problem, and are asking for volunteer help with clear goals in mind on how to better connect people together, we can start to make progress in fixing this issue on a larger scale. If there is a slogan for these three steps to combating alienation and loneliness in society, it would be “we would like to invest more at scale in you and your community, help us to finish the job at hand, and we’ll make sure you receive ten-fold what you put in to helping to move this effort forward.”

People have a strong urge to belong and to be part of a tribe or a group. In our atomized era, it is increasingly harder to find one’s tribe. The causes of this growth in alienation and loneliness are well-known and are well-documented. Personally, I am interested in how best to get out of this hole that collectively, we have dug for ourselves. While some of us have been able to forge our own community, sustain our friendships and relationships, and maintain strong ties to our town or city, there are an increasing number of individuals who feel disconnected and left behind, often through no fault of their own.

I do believe that the three steps I have proposed in this article can make a serious dent in this issue. I hope that there are other numerous ideas out there that will be considered by those with the power and influence to make a difference in how we structure our towns and cities because the sooner we address this problem, the better off we will be as a result. Decades ago, you knew who your tribe or your community was mainly due to family or religious background or just your neighborhood ties, but that is no longer the case for a growing segment of our society.

It is up to us to collectively fill in the gap that these traditional institutions have failed to sustain. I hope that we start to invest more time, money, effort, and attention to solving this issue in the future because it is truly one of the defining issues of our time and regardless of if we are not directly affected by its effects, it is likely that you know of someone or have heard of somebody in your own life who struggles with loneliness. Greater social and communal bonds are crucial to sustain and in these atomized times we’re living through, the more work we do now to diminish this problem, the better off we will all be in the future.

The Case Against Hyper-Individualism

“You can be an individualistic person but that does not excuse selfish or amoral behavior at all.”

It is not inherently bad to look out for yourself and your own interests. How many times have you heard that you have to “be a better friend to yourself” or to “take care of yourself?” If you can’t help yourself, then how can you help others out? The key thing to keep in mind with being individualistic is that while it can help you as a person, you should always remember that it does not mean neglecting, hurting, or disadvantaging others in the process. You can be an individualistic person but that does not excuse selfish or amoral behavior at all.

I would argue that hyper-individualism has become more and more common in our society and has led to people being taken advantage of, scammed, lied to, or otherwise mistreated because they had someone take advantage of them because they were acting in their own interest but without regards for others who were affected. If I had to give my own definition of what distinguishes hyper-individualism from individualism is that in the former, you are looking out for yourself only without regards for others or you are looking out for yourself even if it may cause other people to be negatively affected by your focus on individualistic behavior.

While it is okay in my view to strive to achieve your own goals, seek out a better life, find your own path, and to not be dependent on others if you can afford to do so. It is not okay to hurt others in the process by robbing them of their own goals, their own chance at seeking a better life, and even preventing them from building a community where the individual takes a back seat to the interests of a group.

I find that hyper-individualism is similar to a ‘dog eat dog’ kind of world where everybody is on their own all the time, there is limited or no support if you fall on tough times, and where communal living or community-building is sacrificed for individual power seeking, wealth gaining, or prestige building. Caring about oneself alone and not others at all or not caring if your own goals, success, and overall happiness may put others in a bad place can also fall under what hyper individualism would be to me.

I believe that most people cannot be hyper individualistic because since the early days of our species, we could not live on our own without the support of a tribe, group, or a small community. Everybody had their own individual wants, desires, or needs, but we worked together to achieve those needs by catering to our individual strengths. Each person brought something unique or useful to the larger group and that is where individualism can play a healthy role within a community. If you can hunt, you can provide food to yourself, yes, but also to others if you are good at what you do. If you can fish, you can fish enough to help yourself but also for others in the tribe too. The same could be said for cooking, cleaning, protecting livestock, building shelter, etc.

This kind of individualism where we express ourselves in what we do best and how we can contribute meaningfully to a larger group, community, or society helps to make individualism a powerful force, often for good. Where hyper-individualism goes wrong is where you only look out for yourself and don’t share with anybody else or lend a helping hand with your skills and talents. It is not good to hoard or be greedy but that is what hyper individualistic behavior is based around and the disturbing thing to remember is that it seems to be encouraged more and more by our popular culture.

Think about the advertising and marketing messages we often receive: do they cater to your needs or to the needs of a group? When society is largely telling you to constantly be going after the money, the cars, the clothes, and the fancy mansions, this kind of behavior often leads to hyper-individualism. Sadly, we don’t hear about how we can use our skills to help others or to volunteer to use our resources for a shared good or effort. It is up to us to resist hyper individualistic behavior as much as possible.

Hyper-individualism may make that person feel good at first, but it is an empty feeling especially if they are not contributing anything meaningful to the larger society. Yes, you were able to buy a nice car, a flashy television, and an expensive house, but while that’s good for you and your own skills and abilities, is that all there is to your life? For a few of us, maybe that’s good enough, but I believe that we feel happiest and most fulfilled when we not only share our talents with the world, but we use those talents to also better the world in some way.

Individualistic societies and more community-focused societies can both be wealthy, happy, and productive, but if you go to the extremes of individualism or to communism, to state the obvious, societies will often crater in on themselves and cease to function well. I like to think that the best societies in our world are those that recognize, encourage, and foster individual talent but to use that talent to create a better society and to make sure that success while rewarded financially or otherwise, is also meant to help others receive a helping hand up so they too can also succeed and pursue their individual dreams and goals.

My analogy for hyper-individualism is if you’re in a rowboat and you have six people in the boat, and we’re all meant to row to get to the shore. Problems can start to arise when you have five people rowing in sync together and starting to move the boat faster and faster to the shore. However, if that sixth person does not row at all because he or she does not want to or if they want to row back out to sea, all six people as a result are going to suffer together because of that one person’s hyper-individualism.

Think of that rowboat of six people like a society of a million or a billion people. If you have one person or a few people ‘rowing’ against the others and hurting the total society as a result, the problems even a few people can cause would affect everyone in that boat or in the society negatively. Let’s all remember that we all rise or fall together and that while individual success, wealth, and prestige, is admirable to achieve, it is not everything in life and we are judged not just by our own merits but by our character and our values as well in society.

On Territory and Hierarchy

“It’s not just being rewarded financially but there are also the noted past benefits such as being the first to eat at a meal or having livestock awarded to you for leading the tribe or group.”

When you rise in the hierarchy of any company, firm, or organization, you are likely to be rewarded for it subsequently. It’s not just being rewarded financially but there are also the noted past benefits such as being the first to eat at a meal or having livestock awarded to you for leading the tribe or group. The leader, if he or she does a good job, gets first dibs on what they would like as a result whereas if it’s money, food, or what I think is the most common today as it was in the past: land or space.

In my view, there is a direct correlation between rising in the hierarchy and having more space or territory allotted to you. This kind of correlation has really stood the test of time when you think about the era of feudalism when there would be lords over the land and forts or castles would be built to maintain that territory, even if it was contested by outsiders. When you think of the rise of empires from the Ottoman to the French to the British whose kings, queens, emperors, or sultans who would make their royal palaces and compounds as elegant, grand, and massive as they could.

Even your modern-day Presidents and other heads of state live more lavishly than 99% of their population and while they may command a modest salary, they still hold the keys to a massive home and office where they have people waiting on them to make sure any of their needs are taken care of. Because of the way hierarchies are set up, the people who have the most power tend to get the most benefits in terms of taking up space and territory because of the office or title or family legacy that they hold.

While it would make sense that in a capitalist society, you must ensure lopsided rewards and benefits to those people entrusted with political or other forms of power. When you think of your average CEO or company owner, they tend to on average also take up more territory or have more space than your average person. As your status rises so does the amount of acreage or square meters you would like to claim as your own. While there are exceptions, popular culture encourages the acquisition of power and status to correlate with not only acquiring financial wealth but territorial wealth too.

You can even see this in terms of who gets the most space in the c-suite or in the average office. While the average worker may have to work in a cubicle or share a space with others at a lower level of hierarchy in their organization or company, the management or higher-level executive will often have the corner office or their own floor depending on the place of work. It is easy to see where your status in the working world is just by seeing who is taking up the most space even when the impact you or your colleague have on the firm, company, organization, may be different in terms of actual value provided.

The societal drive to get that corner office, or to get a bigger home, or to have a piece of land to call your own is an innate part of what keeps our drive to boost our economic means in life. Taking up territory and holding it is such an innate part of our caveman-like nature that even if we may have come out of the caves into homes, palaces, and offices, we still strive to show off to others where we are in the hierarchy by showing how much space we take up compared to the other guy.

While there’s nothing wrong with staking your claim, working hard for what you earn, and claiming that corner office or hectare of land as your own, it does not mean that you’ll automatically be happy or fulfilled. It’s likely you’ll be satisfied, happy, or content with how far you’ve come and how hard you had to work for your spot in the hierarchy, but it does not guarantee you long-term happiness or fulfillment. When you think about it, while you can get an office or a home or a castle to yourself, it can cause a tendency to isolate yourself, to think you know better than anyone, and worst of all, to lose a kind of empathy for what your co-workers, your compatriots, or your community is going through.

You may be able to stock more resources, live more lavishly, and show off to others, but it won’t fill our most basic need as human beings, and that is to connect with one another on a deeper level. You may have family or close friends but the higher you are up in the hierarchy, the tendency is there to ignore others’ advice, or to start thinking you’re better than other people even when you may not know what to do or what the answer is, and it may prevent you from being touch with other people are going through who are going through a tough time in life.

The more we seek to rise in a hierarchy, whatever it may be, the more likely it is to lead to isolation, loneliness, and even unhappiness if we use the territory that we have to shut the door on interacting with others around us or who work with us. It is tempting to let our success and our status get to our heads, but it can lead to increased narcissism, apathy toward what got you there in the first place, and an ego that can run out of control if it’s not checked by others.

When you think about a successful leader or executive, they let others tell them when they are wrong or show humility when they don’t know the answer. Instead of isolating themselves entirely, they make sure those people who helped them share in the success and are treated well. They share their space with others instead of hoarding it for themselves. They go out in the community to find out how they can help as a leader with more resources and knowledge. Instead of becoming a hermit with a lot of territory but no one around to help, a good leader will let people in to give advice, counsel, and to back down when he or she knows when they are wrong.

It’s the reason why dictators, kleptocrats, and monarchs can be so out of touch with their compatriots and why the CEO who has his own floor and never leaves his mansion are not long for staying in power. They neglect having people around them to be part of their apparatus and to tell them when the decisions they make should be rethought. It is also because when a leader hoards all the wealth, territory, or resources for him or herself and their family or close friends, people who are worse off tend to notice, can congregate, and organize together, and an overthrow of that leader is just around the corner.

A good leader makes sure that he does not hoard more than he needs to succeed in his role and that he or she relinquishes their title so a successor can rise whatever the vocation to share in the continued success of the company, organization, or firm. There’s nothing wrong with letting your rise in hierarchy allow you to acquire more land, territory, or money, but to hoard it all or to do nothing to let others improve their own lot in life to make sure they have the same shot at success is a recipe for disaster. You cannot take land with you after you’re gone so the priority should be on making sure you are a good leader first and also someone who uses their status to assist others, to make wise decisions, and to help give other people in their community or country a leg up so they can have enough territory to live a good life and share their own success with their family and friends.

On Duty and Honor

“Two concepts that are not discussed very often today in our culture, but for which go hand in hand to have a purposeful life are duty and honor.”

Two concepts that are not discussed very often today in our culture, but for which go hand in hand to have a purposeful life are duty and honor. Duty is the obligation, either moral or legal, to uphold your responsibilities and to take upon tasks and actions when called upon. Duties are be thrust upon you such as being part of jury or registering to be eligible for military service but also done voluntarily such as keeping your community clean by picking up trash, giving money to a charity, being part of the local school board or town forum.

There are many variations on duty, but what they all have in common is to think of more than just yourself and to be responsible to those people around you. We are duty-bound by law in many such cases, but we are also duty-bound by morals and values that are passed on from generation to generation.

Being dutiful is conscientiously being able to know what your duties in life are, pursue them vigorously, and to conduct them in a moral manner. Duties may not be easy or fun to fulfill, but we have them in place so that society can function at a higher level. If no one was duty-bound to others, selfishness, greed, and egocentric behavior would replace it, which would cause the larger community and society to collapse over time. Lack of duties breeds this kind of behavior whether they are mandatory or not. If everyone is out for themselves and not able to look after others or think of their behavior’s effect on other people, it would create what we know to be as a ‘dog eat dog’ world.

When you fulfill your duties, legally bound or morally footed, you uphold the basic contract as a citizen and as a human being, to help improve your community and the society to some degree. If everyone fulfills their duties, trust, confidence, and belief in each other will be much more assured. If nobody does what is required or expected of them, nothing substantive can get done. The more duties we fulfill and the more we look out for another rather than ourselves, the better off we are to be when we commit to these obligations.

Duties can be granted and often must be enforced to be fulfilled but if we each uphold the duties we are given and see each other as all being on the same page, other duties that we voluntarily take on can be added on if we see that the system is working, and people are putting in their fair share. If a few individuals, especially if they leaders or representatives of their community, are found to be neglectful of their duties, and especially lied about fulfilling such duties, it can easily cascade to where the average person sees this and will unfortunately not find the duties they have been given as being as necessary to commit to if they see those who put them into place or have mandated them do not fulfill them as well.

Regardless of where you find yourself in the overall society, a leader, a citizen, a representative, a voter, etc., we are all held to the same duties and obligations that we commit ourselves to by law or by morality. If we all uphold those duties through acts of good faith and completing tasks that are insured to us, the better off everyone will be.

However, if duties are neglected, discouraged, or done away with even if they are mandated, the whole society will suffer as a result due to a loss of trust, faith, or belief in what upholds this basic sense of equality that we have to be beholden to the same duties as everyone else is regardless of age, sex, race, religion, ethnicity, etc. Now, it is commendable to do your duty, but it is even better to do so with honor.

Being honorable or conducting oneself with honor is taking the duties you are given to uphold or the tasks that come with such duties is to perform such duties with integrity, accountability, and trustworthiness. It is one thing to do your duty and it is another thing to do your duty well.

You can think of someone who is elected to be a representative of a community, town, city, or nation who will use the position for egotistical purposes and to twiddle the time away while doing nothing of honor to make sure the people who elected him or her will benefit as a result. They have been given the honor of representing their community or a nation and have squandered it by neglecting the privilege of having such a position to do good on behalf of others. There is no honor in that even if they are technically fulfilling the duty of public service.

Duties can be bestowed on soldiers, politicians, community leaders, public figures of influence, religious clergy, teachers, etc. and they can perform them because they have been trained or are seen as qualified to fulfill them. However, the question arises is if they are doing their duties with honor? Some will only do the bare minimum and will only think of themselves while having their position of power or influence wrapped up. Others will use their newfound duties to abuse their position for financial or social gain and lie to say that they did not do anything dishonorable to begin with.

Luckily, there will be those people in positions of status who will conduct themselves honorably and seek to uphold that trust bestowed upon them by being transparent, accountable, and forthright. A good leader or example of someone who conducts themselves with honor is that they do not only do their duties as expected of them, but they also seek out those in a similar position or authority who are not doing their duties. They will not only conduct themselves with honor intact but make sure they are holding others in their position accountable and to find out if their honor is there.

If not, that person of authority or influence would work to ensure that the individual without honor even while having done their duties albeit in a lackluster manner are held to account. To uphold that trust across a society where we all must do our duties and to do so with honor, those without honor should lose their given duties when it is found that they are not holding themselves to that standard. When we each hold ourselves to an honorable standard by doing the duties bestowed upon us to the best of our abilities, then the larger community or society will benefit as a result.

Without duties, there is no honor to be had. If duties are being done without honor, no functioning society will result. It is important to understand how much these two concepts feed off each other. One cannot exist without the other and if one concept is neglected, the other will suffer as a result. We all must commit the duties and obligations bestowed upon us whether by law or by creed, but duties must also be performed to high standards, both morally and ethically. Performing one’s duties without honor cannot work and nor can having honor without upholding one’s duties.

Get Your Own House In Order

“Before you can set an example to others in your house, or others in your community, or others in an overall society, you first need to show that you can ‘get your own house in order.’ You need to be able to handle yourself and your own day-to-day problems first before you can lead others to do the same in their own lives.”

There’s an old adage I have been thinking about lately about how it is primarily important to take care of oneself first and not just in one way but in every part of your life. Before you can set an example to others in your house, or others in your community, or others in an overall society, you first need to show that you can ‘get your own house in order.’ You need to be able to handle yourself and your own day-to-day problems first before you can lead others to do the same in their own lives.

It can be hard for other people to take you seriously when you don’t take yourself seriously in the first place. How will you be able to lead a team or an organization or a company if you are not able to master your own tasks and your own desires? Self-development isn’t just about making sure you are able to create a good life for yourself but it’s also about setting a positive example for others who would look up to you as a result. You cannot be a mentor or a role model for others without first putting yourself out there and doing what needs to be done to make yourself successful.

When you have not struggled, when have not persevered, when you have not done what it takes to reach your goals, how can you give advice to other people on what they should do to have the same kind of success? “Getting your own house in order” means taking care of yourself first and doing so consistently before you can use those same pieces of advice and examples for others to follow. Firstly, your own house in order starts with your mental and physical health.

Your body is your own house so it must be taken care of first and foremost in terms of getting good sleep, eating properly, not indulging in vices like alcohol or tobacco to excess, and knowing how to exercise as well to keep yourself in shape. It also extends to being able to relax, de-stress, handle anxiety, and be mentally sharp by challenging yourself but also relaxing your mind so as to not exhaust it entirely. Your body and your mind are their own little houses and they must be maintained thoroughly so that other people will know that you are capable enough to handle other demands in life.

Another house we don’t think of is appearance and grooming. Your own house in this case means maintaining a good appearance and practicing good hygiene. These practices are necessary also on a daily basis and to show to the world that you care about yourself and want to be taken seriously. For a job, an internship, a presentation, a seminar, a lecture, etc., your personal dress should indicate that you are a serious person for the role or for the opportunity and that others will know that they can respect your house because you respect it yourself. They will not respect your house when you show up to an interview in shorts or when you wear Yoga pants to a college lecture. Physical appearance and grooming are another ‘house’ that we all must take seriously and to do so primarily before we can give advice to others on how to maintain their own ‘houses’ in good order.

Lastly, the last ‘house’ on a personal level that I would like to focus on is where you live regardless if it is a small studio apartment or a huge mansion. Maintaining your own physical shape in the world is crucial if you want to tackle bigger and better problems. If you can’t make your bed, clean your bathroom, or keep your kitchen clean, how can you tackle any major issue in your community or in your society? At the end of the day, this kind of ‘house’ maintenance comes down to self-respect and putting your own ego aside to do the work that we all must do.

The chances are good that at the end of the work to maintain this ‘house’ that you will feel a lot better for having done the work needed to keep up a clean and orderly home. It is not easy to do this consistently but it is necessary and if you plan on having guests over, having friends over for a get-together, or want to be romantically involved with someone, a clean ‘house’ will go a long way to making you respectable and responsible in the eyes of others. Being able to maintain care not just of yourself but your own physical space means that people will know that they can trust you with other tasks and matters of importance that extend beyond your ‘house’ and to the ‘houses’ of others in the community and in the society.

Thinking about a community as a whole, their ‘houses’ include making sure that the schools are meeting the needs of the students, that the community is safe and protected for all of its residents, that the roads and bridges are maintained and do not have potholes or faulty beams, and to make sure that each and every person has access to utilities including water, electricity, and yes, an Internet connection too. If a community does not have those necessities for a high quality of life, then that ‘house’ is not in order and those people who have their own ‘houses’ in order need to step up to do their part to help others get the community in good shape.

If you have your own ‘house’ in order, you can set the standard for the rest of the community and be able to use your ideas to help others especially if you gain their respect and their trust. With how you act and how you behave in addition to your own appearance, ideas, and personal goals, you can make the community better and it’s important for you to get in there and show that you can make a difference there.

When a community can all of its necessities in order, that one community can definitely have an impact on the larger society within a country and even the world. A community where everyone has equal access to a good education, where health care is not a privilege but a right to all in that society, and when kindness, honesty, and virtue are rewarded rather than chastised. That is an overall society that is getting its own house in order and can serve as an example to other societies in other parts of the world.

Being able to provide a high quality of life and a chance to succeed to all of the people in a society should be the goal of society with its own ‘home’ in order. I am not talking about a social utopia per say but rather an ideal place where people know that they can succeed if given a fair shot in life. It’s also about providing the basic tools of any society to all of its people without discrimination and without corruption. Whether that is no homelessness, enough healthy food for everyone, and an economy where inequality is minimalized, that is what a society should be focusing on and using as an example to other societies.

When a society prioritizes the needs of the few over the many based on wealth or another privilege, that society does not have its own house in order. If there are people out there hungry, homeless, or without health care, then that society is not in order. A society cannot be an example for other societies when it lacks the courage to invest in its most vulnerable populations or to provide a higher quality of life for all people.

Without that kind of an example, a society will lose its influence or example setting and will turn inward and often tear itself apart without good leadership or good values. A society that gets its own house in order prioritizes the right social needs and finds the investments, funding necessary to maintain these necessities of its people will automatically become an example to other societies whether they are near or far. A society that doesn’t does not have a moral ground to stand on and will lose the example it could set by practicing bad ‘house’ manners in different ways.

“Getting Your Own House in Order” does not just apply to one individual but it also applies to a community and a society as a whole. We all are human and fallible and sometimes, we will fall short but if we strive to do better in our homes, in our lives, and in our examples we set for others, that kind of ‘Ripple Effect’ of positive values will improve the larger community and society as a result. How we treat ourselves (mind and body), our homes, our way of life has a direct effect on the community we share, and, on the society, we find ourselves a part of. This kind of example setting starts at home, but it can ripple throughout to the rest of the world and it all begins with ourselves and our own actions.