Category: interests

Being a Specialist vs. a Jack of All Trades in 2025

“There’s a saying that’s been repeated so often it’s lost its bite these days: “A jack of all trades is a master of none.” However, what most people forget is the full quote: “…but oftentimes better than a master of one.” That second half hits home for me as someone who likes to consider myself a man of many interests and likes.”

There’s a saying that’s been repeated so often it’s lost its bite these days: “A jack of all trades is a master of none.” However, what most people forget is the full quote: “…but oftentimes better than a master of one.” That second half hits home for me as someone who likes to consider myself a man of many interests and likes. I’ve been a jack of all trades most of my life, by design, and not by accident. I’ve always had too many interests to narrow myself into one lane, from teaching English and managing international projects to running side businesses, writing, and exploring new skills like photography and video creation. In 2025, this flexibility isn’t a flaw but rather its survival and adaptation in an ever-changing and acceleratingly fast world.

Let’s be real here too: the world doesn’t reward loyalty to one craft the way it used to in my parents or grandparents’ generations. The days when someone could spend thirty years perfecting a single skill at one company and retire with a gold watch are long gone. Industries move at the speed of AI updates and quarterly market shifts. The specialist like the surgeon, the dentist, the coder, the data scientist still has immense value, of course, and they should be commended for their craft and their dedication to their field.

Those are the people who go deep rather than wide, mastering one corner of a field to the point where they can innovate within it and do so for decades luckily. However, the specialist also lives or dies by their niche or calling. When that niche collapses, loses favor in terms of employability, or evolves faster than they can adapt to the changes to the industry, their expertise in one area can quickly become a liability.

On the other hand, generalists or ‘jack of all trade’s types, people like me, tend to thrive when change is the only constant in life. We’re used to juggling multiple domains, learning on the fly, and connecting dots others don’t even see or don’t wish to see. When AI starts writing code or generating content faster than humanly possible, the jack of all trades doesn’t panic; they pivot to adapt to that change and to see how they can go with the flow. They find new intersections where creativity, management, and soft skills still matter in a world that is increasingly tech-first, question later. In 2025, the ability to synthesize ideas across fields like education, technology, business, culture is arguably more valuable than mastery of just one skillset.

Still though, let’s not sugarcoat it: being a generalist or ‘jack of all trades’ comes with tradeoffs. You’re rarely the “go-to” expert in the room. You may not command the highest salary, or you may constantly feel spread thin, working to keep up with several evolving interests instead of going all-in on one interest. There’s a sense of restlessness built into the generalist’s DNA. However, that same restlessness is what keeps us generalist types adaptable and flexible. We’re built for the gig economy, the hybrid or remote workplace, the new industries, and the unpredictable career paths that define this modern era.

Specialists, for their part, enjoy a kind of depth that the generalists envy. They can focus, dig deep, and master a single language, whether that’s the language of law, medicine, finance, or engineering. Their work can bring a deep sense of purpose and respect that comes from being the person that people rely on when things get complex or challenging. Specialization can be a trap too though as it can make you resistant to change, or worse, blind to possible opportunities outside your comfort zone. The moment your expertise or your sole skillset is no longer in demand, your value can plummet unless you reinvent yourself and to do so quickly.

The reality is that 2025 doesn’t belong exclusively to either camp of ‘generalists’ or ‘specialists’. It belongs to the hybrids instead, who the ones who know enough across different professional disciplines to connect the dots and have enough depth in one or two areas to back it up with credibility and experience. The future as I see it will reward those people who can learn fast, adapt faster, and translate knowledge across industries.

Also, if you know how to communicate well, can solve problems, and meet deadlines consistently, you will always be in demand in my view to work for a company, organization, or other professional body. Whether you’re a generalist who’s learning to specialize or a specialist learning to broaden your scope beyond your field, the key remains the same as you should stay curious, stay humble, and never stop evolving.

Yes, I’m a jack of all trades and I don’t see that changing anytime soon in my own life. If anything, I’ve learned to wear it as armor in a world that’s constantly trying to box people into a corner. I’ve been told I should “pick a lane,” specialize, and double down on one thing alone but that’s never been me or my personality. My curiosity doesn’t fit neatly into a job title or a sole industry. I like moving between worlds, connecting people and ideas that weren’t supposed to meet in the first place.

I’ve realized that being a generalist isn’t about doing everything halfway; it’s about mastering having adaptability itself. It’s about knowing enough across fields to spot the patterns others miss and having the guts to reinvent yourself when the winds change direction. Specialists might thrive when the road is straight and predictable, but I thrive when the map is being redrawn in real time. So no, I don’t apologize for my curiosity or for the eclectic path I’ve taken in life so far. Being a jack of all trades in 2025 isn’t a weakness, rather, it’s an operating system for the modern world. In a time when rigidity gets punished and reinvention gets rewarded; versatility isn’t just a skill; it’s a survival strategy to get by. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

How to Evaluate Your Year

“Evaluating the year that has passed can be a valuable exercise for yourself to gain deeper insights, identify growth opportunities for the new year, and celebrate the accomplishments or successes you had.”

2024 is ending soon as I write this article and I do believe it is important to look back on the year that was to evaluate it holistically, such as whether it was good, bad, or a mixed bag. Evaluating the year that has passed can be a valuable exercise for yourself to gain deeper insights, identify growth opportunities for the new year, and celebrate the accomplishments or successes you had.

Reflecting on various aspects of your life, even areas that you can improve upon will help you to set meaningful goals for the year ahead. Here’s a guide I have created on how to evaluate your year comprehensively, focusing on the five major areas of friends, family, relationships, experiences, and work or business.

Friends

Friendships are an essential part of life and key to one’s mental health as a surefire way to stay truly connected and bond over shared activities or hobbies or even lend each other a helping hand. Think about reflecting on your relationships with friends from over the past year. Ask yourself the following questions when doing so:

  1. Giving or Getting Support: Were your friends there for you during challenging times? Were you there for them when they needed you when they were in a rut or needed help? Did they offer emotional or practical support when needed? Could you say the same?
  2. Showing Mutual Effort: Did you invest some effort into maintaining these friendships? Conversely, did your friends reciprocate to make the effort to reach out to you as well?
  3. Quality over Quantity: Did you prioritize meaningful, deep connections over superficial ones with your friends? Were your interactions enriching and positive with your friends?
  4. Encouraging Growth: Did your friendships encourage personal growth or help you broaden your perspective? Did you give each other advice on how to better yourselves?

Document the moments and memories that stood out to you, whether they were fun gatherings, heart-to-heart conversations, or instances where you and your friends supported each other through a difficult time. Evaluate if there were any friendships that became draining or unbalanced and consider whether to address these issues or set boundaries or even cut off the friendship if it isn’t working out.

Family

Family relationships can greatly influence your emotional well-being in both positive but also negative ways depending on your own situation with your family members. I encourage you to reflect on the past year’s interactions with your family members and consider these questions:

  1. Building Connection: Did you spend enough quality time with your family? Were you present and engaged during these moments or were you distracted by your phone or another device?
  2. Conflict Resolution: Were there any unresolved conflicts? How well did you communicate and handle disagreements? Why did those conflicts arise and how can they be avoided next year?
  3. Support System: Did your family serve as a source of strength or encouragement? Were you able to offer the same in return? Did you help each other out in a mutual manner?
  4. Milestones and Memories: Were there any significant events or milestones within your family? How did you contribute to these moments? Did they celebrate your wins this year and did you do the same for them when they had successes?

Think about whether you balanced your time and energy across the various family member dynamics that are constantly evolving each year along with the different personalities that you have in your family. Identify some ways to strengthen bonds with family members next year who may need more of your attention or love than you were able to give up until this point.

Relationships

If you’re in a romantic relationship currently, evaluating this aspect of your life is crucial to keeping it on the right track into next year. Even if you’re single, reflecting on your relationship with yourself or any potential romantic connections is just as important. Ask yourself these questions as you close out the year:

  1. Compatibility: Are you and your partner aligned in your values, goals, and vision for the future? Have you talked about how you felt about the relationships enough in terms of how it is going?
  2. Communication: How effectively did you communicate this year? Were you able to express your needs and listen to your partner’s? Did you handle disagreements respectfully and come to a positive resolution with each other?
  3. Growth: Did your relationship encourage mutual growth? Did you feel supported and loved? Did they support you when you needed it, and have you done the same for them?
  4. Quality Time: How much time did you spend together? Were those moments meaningful and fulfilling? Were you also able to spend time apart in a healthy manner?
  5. Self-Reflection: If you’re single, consider how you’ve nurtured your relationship with yourself. Did you take time to understand your needs, desires, and goals in a potential relationship for next year?

Identify areas where you’ve grown together as a couple or individually when you two were apart. If there were challenges this year, consider how you’ll address them moving forward in your relationship.

Experiences (Travel, Hobbies, Interests, Fun Activities)

Reflect on how you spent your free time outside of work, school, or business and how engaged with life outside of your daily obligations and weekly chores you were. Think about where you went, what you did, what you learned, and how much you enjoyed life beyond the office or the shop or the factory floor. Consider the following in your assessment of your experiences:

  1. Local and International Travel: Did you explore new places, whether locally or internationally? How did these experiences broaden your perspective? What did you learn from the places you traveled to? Would you travel in 2025 and how did you grow as a person in your travels?
  2. Hobbies and Interests: Did you pursue activities that bring you joy or help you grow? Did you try something new? Were you committed to these hobbies and spend enough time on them? What new hobby or interest would you like to try in the new year?
  3. Having Fun and Relaxation: Did you allocate time for leisure and enjoyment? Were you able to strike a balance between work and play? How often were you able to relax yourself?
  4. Making Memories: What were the highlights of your year? Did you attend events, celebrate milestones, or create special moments? Who did you share those memories with?

Take note of the activities, hobbies, interests, etc. that brought you the most happiness and fulfillment. If your year felt monotonous and a bit too routine, think about incorporating more variety or adventure into your life next year. Plan the destinations, places, or cities with regards to travel ahead of time that you hope to visit in the new year.

Work or Business

Your professional or business life is another crucial area to evaluate at the end of any year as it makes up about 80% of our time throughout the year. Reflect on your career or business journey over the past year by asking yourself these questions:

  1. Major Accomplishments: What were your major achievements? Did you meet or exceed your professional goals? What was the process you used to achieve your goals?
  2. Overcoming Challenges: What obstacles did you face, and how did you overcome them? Were there any failures, and what lessons did you learn from them? Who helped you overcome these challenges in your professional or business pursuits?
  3. Professional Growth: Did you acquire new skills, take on new responsibilities, or achieve personal growth in your role? How will these new skills help you next year and beyond?
  4. Managing Work-Life Balance: Were you able to maintain a healthy boundary between work and personal life? Did work leave you feeling fulfilled or drained? Did you take enough time off for vacation or for staying healthy? How did you spend your time outside of work or business?
  5. Establishing Future Goals: Are you satisfied with your current trajectory, or do you feel the need for a change? Did you take steps toward your long-term career aspirations? Will you find a new job next year? Do you plan to launch a new business or company? Will you ask for a raise or promotion and how will you ask this question to your supervisor?

Reflect on whether your work or business aligns with your personal values and passions. If there are gaps in that assessment, start thinking about how to address them in the coming year with regards to making your work or business more personally fulfilling Once you’ve reviewed these areas and answered as many questions in these five major areas as possible, combine your thoughts to identify patterns, strengths, and areas for improvement.

Lastly, think about the following ways generally on how you could make next year the best one yet:

  1. Showing Your Gratitude: What are you most grateful for this year? Acknowledge the people and experiences that enriched your life and made it the year that it was.
  2. Compile Lessons Learned: What did the failures, challenges, and successes of this year teach you? How will these lessons shape your approach to the new year and beyond?
  3. Having Goals for Improvement: What areas need more focus or change from you? How will you set realistic and actionable goals to address these aspects next year?

Evaluating your year holistically gives you a clearer perspective on where you stand in your life and how to move forward in a positive manner. Use this article, the questions I’ve posed and to write a yearly reflection about these five major areas as a substantive foundation for setting meaningful goals and resolutions for the year ahead.

My First Attempt at Spanish Poems (Mis Primeros Poemas en Español)

My First Attempt at writing poetry in the Spanish language, which is my second language. I have five poems here and hope to write more in the future. Muchas gracias por leer mis palabras aqui.

  1. En La Noche

Yo te pienso en la noche.

Yo extraño tu presencia.

Con las estrellas tan brillantes.

En frente de la luna mas grande.

Yo veo tu cara y tu sonrisa.

_____________________

2. Me Hace Falta

Cada dia que yo vivo,

Extrañando como vivi contigo.

No puedo continuar sin ti.

Recordando tu sonrisa y tu besos.

Me hace falta tu presencia.

_____________________

3. Azul

Me toco la guitarra esta noche.

Pensando en el mar y el lago azul.

Es como nadar en tus ojos azules.

Hasta el fin de mi vida.

_____________________

4. Estoy De Pie

Aqui, estoy de pie

No se por donde vaya.

Pensando en mis pasos proximos.

En tu mundo donde quisiera estar.

Porque aqui no puedo continuar.

____________________

5. Viajero Gringo

Soy viajero gringo

Eso no voy a cambiar.

Pensando en el mundo entero.

Quiero vivir asi, porque este mundo

Es siempre un parte de mi corazon.

Dealing with Melancholy after Travel

“Still though, it’s hard for me after dozens of trips and hundreds of places visited to not have that feeling of melancholy wash over me after I come home again.”

There is a comedown feeling that happens after the end of a trip, regardless of how long or short it is. All the planning, the effort, the money spent, and the adrenaline rush that goes into relocating yourself elsewhere creates a unique feeling that is hard to replicate. Often, the trip will go smoothly, and you’ll have fond memories to look back on long after it’s over. Still though, it’s hard for me after dozens of trips and hundreds of places visited to not have that feeling of melancholy wash over me after I come home again.

Luckily, it is not a deep melancholy, but it is a melancholy of missing the feeling of being on an adventure or not knowing that the next day will bring. It’s the pure excitement of the unknown, of yearning to experience a new thing or event or place, and about being more open than usual to meeting new and often interesting people you encounter during your travels. Being able to settle back into your usual routine can be a bit of a downer after the rush of going from place to place, city to city, and being footloose for a while.

Despite a routine not being the most fun to go back into, it is necessary to reestablish a routine again as it can provide some comfort after a trip rather than doting on the past trip, however fun and exhilarating it may be. I do believe we need a routine in our lives often, rather than be rudderless and without anything to focus on. If our travels are temporary and we do not live life on the road on a permanent basis, easing back into our daily lives takes time but if we don’t have anything to refocus our attention on after a trip, the melancholy can be even more profound and difficult to deal with.

It is a good idea to develop your hobbies, interests, and your goals even more after a trip to accomplish what you want to set out to do with the time you have been given. Devoting yourself to something you’re working on or taking time to achieve something you want for yourself is a good way to deal with the blues that can happen after your travel is over. Being able to have ‘travel’ as something you enjoy doing is important, but it should not be the only thing you have going for you in your life. We cannot only be one-dimensional in our focus no matter how much we enjoy taking ourselves on the road.

Being able to share your travels with others is important because it helps hone and shape our memories. You may not be able to talk about your trip as much as you would like if you would like but it is good to share with your family and friends how it went because it’s likely they will want to know how it went. Beyond that, make sure to take care of your mementos, souvenirs, keepsakes, and other items you brought back with you, because they will give you a comforting feeling from having been to that place or done that activity, and it is good to reflect on the travels you’ve done in a sustainable way. I also like to organize my photos, create canvas prints, and even share videos from the places I’ve been and to keep them in my own records to reflect on to remember better of where I was, who I was back then, and how I felt about the trip.

Lastly, keep thinking of ways to travel again to go back to the place(s) you loved again or try new places you want to visit. Travel should be a passion that sustains you throughout life and you should know that it is a marathon, not a sprint. I like to casually look at where I want to go next as I do like to plan, and I always like to have something to look forward to. Think about the culture, the language, and the people who live in the place you’re going to and start studying up in advance to learn more about what it will be like there potentially and how to prepare yourself for the trip you want to take next.

The most rewarding travel experiences for me have been those that I spent time learning the language (if need be), studying the places I want to visit as part of the itinerary, and devoting time to knowing the history and the culture a bit there. Travel is more than just taking photos and eating good food to me. While those are both enjoyable to do on a trip, I do make a conscious and concerted effort to know a bit about where I am going, and to learn as much as I can before I step on the bus, plane, or train.  As travel writers have noted, it’s not the destination that is the central reward but the journey it takes to get there.

Remember, when you get back home, it’s not the end of your traveling days. You may have put the suitcase away and the mementos on the shelf, but you’ll be back on the road again, and sooner than you may think. Embrace what you’ve done, enjoy being home for a little while and seeing friends, family again while keeping up a routine, and start planning for your next trip when you can. Travel may not be your permanent mode of living as it isn’t for most people, but once you go somewhere, even if only for a short while, you’re still a traveler for life, and that is something that will never change.

What Is Your Spice of Life?

“You may be able to find this in your studies, your daily vocation, or even your career, but for many of us, what you do to earn a living may not make up what you are excited most about in the act of living. We often must look elsewhere outside what we do day to day to find our ‘spice of life.’”

How do we explore the full richness of life? This is the kind of age-old question that philosophers and writers have asked for many centuries. What truly fulfills us and makes us enjoy what life has to offer? I would argue that it’s more important than ever to find the ‘spice’ in life that makes you excited, engaged, and fulfilled. You may be able to find this in your studies, your daily vocation, or even your career, but for many of us, what you do to earn a living may not make up what you are excited most about in the act of living. We often must look elsewhere outside what we do day to day to find our ‘spice of life.’

To get your ‘spice of life’ these days, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and try different things. What gets you excited, motivated, and fulfills you today may not be what motivates you years or decades down the line. You should remember that you won’t enjoy everything you do or try forever so it’s important to stay open minded about other possibilities and to not be tethered to one hobby or interest only. Some people have lifelong loves for different activities, hobbies, or sports, which is great, but you may not be able to do it for the rest of your life so keep it in mind that you don’t get attached to one single activity, hobby, or sport because you may not be able to commit to it forever or be as productive or successful at it in the long term.

I think it is wise to keep your identity pliable not just for one job or one academic calling but to be open to learning new things, to experimenting with new ideas, and to trying out different activities that you have some basic interest in. You won’t love everything you do, and you may only do it for a few months or a few years, but it is much better than the alternative of not having done anything at all. Our collective attention spans have become so short due to modern technology that we don’t even try new things or are patient with it because we are too distracted by the latest gadget or technological development.

True fulfillment and satisfaction can come from mastery of a subject or an activity for which you pored countless hours into and never gave up at it. You can also find the ‘spice of life’ from having fun with it and doing it just for enjoyment alone and not to master it completely. Life has a lot to offer and it’s important to keep that in mind beyond our careers and our education. We may have limited time to do what we want to do but we must prioritize that time because without our own choice(s) in what we want to do, we will not find any fulfillment at all. We can find fulfillment both in our day-to-day pursuits but also in those pursuits we do each week or each month without a set schedule in mind.

To find consistent joy in life is not easy, but it can be done by not giving up, by trying out new things, and by doing those things consistently for a little while to see if it is giving you happiness or fulfillment. Being able to give an activity or a hobby at least a few weeks or a month to try it out is key. If you find you are getting bored with something and don’t enjoy it as much or as often, it is okay to put it on the back burner, but don’t be afraid to try something else. Our likes and dislikes change as we go through life, but it is important to keep finding that ‘spice’ in our lives that gets us excited, keeps us motivated, and brings us joy.

Remember to never completely giving up on finding your own passions and fulfillment in life. It is not easy and is something you must continually motivate yourself to do but it can help your life satisfaction out to have something that you enjoy outside of what you have to do each day. Having nothing to enjoy or have fun doing could remove all the ‘spice’ or ‘zest’ that makes life worth living and you want to avoid getting into that kind of scenario. Be ready to try new things, find activities to do by yourself or with others, and be open minded in what you think you would enjoy.

It helps to make a list of activities or things that you have done that you would like to do again as well as those activities or things you’ve never done before but would like to try. There are tons of activities, hobbies, sports, or things to do in this world and you just have to try a few at a time to retain the ‘spice of life.’ Make sure you live life to the fullest in this way and I promise that you will not be disappointed by making the conscious choice to try new things.

Sunset in Dubrovnik

Sunset in Dubrovnik

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: Dubrovnik, Croatia

Sugarloaf Mountain in Maryland

Sugarloaf Mountain

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: Sugarloaf Mountain; Barnesville, Maryland

Capitals and Wizards in 2023

Capitals and Wizards in 2023

Camera: iPhone 12

Location: Capital One Arena; Washington, District of Columbia, USA

Why A Digital Detox Is Good For You

“It is a great chance to recenter yourself, focus more on what matters to you whether it is more time spent with family or friends, or just to be more present with the world around us without staring at our phone, computer, or even our smartwatch.”

We are not meant to be on our digital devices 24 / 7 / 365 a year. I think a key part of realizing how our digital lives are so integral to who we are nowadays is to take some time away from them whenever possible. On a recent vacation I was on, I was able to be without cell service or an internet connection for a week. I do have to say that while the first day or two was difficult, it became nice to be out of reach for a while. It is a great chance to recenter yourself, focus more on what matters to you whether it is more time spent with family or friends, or just to be more present with the world around us without staring at our phone, computer, or even our smartwatch.

Now, in work or in school, we are always expected to be plugged in and reachable even when we might not want to be. However, if you’re on a break, a vacation, or it’s the weekend, I do believe that is a good time to have a digital detox where you can put your devices away. A day, a week, or even a month, is not asking too much to get away from your emails, your social media, or your mobile applications. In that time away, you can really interact with the physical world more fully, feel more present with what you are doing, and it is likely to be healthier for you to devote more time to walking, hiking, playing sports. Instead of reading Twitter or X now, you can read some books. Instead of listening to Spotify, you can play some records or some CDs on your speakers to gain a greater appreciation of the music you like.

In addition, you will have more time to pick up a new skill like playing the guitar, focusing more on your home life with fixing up your apartment or house if it has been neglected, and you can take full advantage of spending more time with friends and family. Digital detox is not so much unplugging from technology forever but temporarily taking some time away to focus on other parts of your life that may have been neglected due to your time spent online. It is hard for most of us to realize this fact, but we likely spend 4-5 hours a day online especially if we have classes or must work online for our jobs.

On top of video games, streaming TV and movies, and the rise of augmented and virtual reality headsets, we are on the path to being more present virtually than being present physically. There is such an endless amount of content that we are exposed to when online that it can be overwhelming for us. If you find that you are too wrapped up in your emails, your Instagram feed, your TikTok videos, or just not being able to pull away from your computer to get enough sunlight and fresh air, you could use a digital detox.

After my week away from being on my laptop, phone, and tablet, I felt lighter in the sense that I was not so overburdened by the constant stream of emails, updates, reminders, news updates, and overall wave of notifications that come with being plugged in. You really live more in the moment when you don’t have your devices with you or in my case, not being able to connect to WIFI or the 5G connection while we are on vacation. Overall, this is a good thing to happen in my view. If someone needs to reach out to us, a regular phone call is still possible or if it’s an emergency, you can enable texts or messages to come through to you.

However, there are many activities and hobbies to do without needing to be online as you’ll soon find out when doing your digital detox.
I encourage you when you go on vacation from work or school to leave your phone and computer on silent or off or even leave it at home. You’ll be surprised on how much you don’t miss it after 1-2 days of the initial FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) hurdle. You will likely be more present with others, more engaged with the world, and more aware of what you are actively doing without the necessary digital distraction or allure that the smartphone, smartwatch, or laptop has on us.

Yes, we do need our digital devices most days, if not every day, but if you can at least take the weekend off, or take a few hours where you’re unreachable, then that is also a good form of digital detoxing. I do recommend using a week or two each year to not be reachable via your devices or to not use them at least for Internet, email, or any mobile applications.

That week or two where you’re fully unplugged will do a world of good for you and your loved ones who could join you to be fully present with you. You’re likely to be closer to one another, enjoy doing more things together, and really appreciate what the physical world has to offer whereas you’re not really thinking anymore about what’s going on online or what kind of digital content you’re potentially missing.

Lastly, we should remember that for hundreds, if not, thousands of years, everybody got on pretty well living their daily lives without being able to have the Internet, computers, or TikTok. They managed to do just fine in the world without the digital age. I think it is good for each of us to remind ourselves that we can get by fine without our devices, if only for a short while. Overall, It is good in my view to be free of technology here and there because as much as we rely on it more and more nowadays, it is not the end all, be all for our lives here.

Be Interested and Be Interesting

“How might you ask can you take a typical ‘small talk’ and make it interesting? Well, you should be able to show some humility by being interested in who they are by asking them some questions.”

Making small talk can be a necessary yet tedious part of daily life. It sometimes may not come naturally to you, and it can be forced at times. However, it is a courteous and polite way to get to know people who are complete strangers to you and to show that you are not oblivious to their presence around you. While ‘small talk’ often revolves around the weather, a simple ‘hello, how are you?’ or just mentioning something about the time of day, the commute to work or school, or maybe a small compliment to brighten their day, it can sometimes lead to a good conversation and even a new friend.

How might you ask can you take a typical ‘small talk’ and make it interesting? Well, you should be able to show some humility by being interested in who they are by asking them some questions. You can take a general comment on the weather to ask if they are used to that kind of weather or if it is new for them. That can lead to a talk about their hometown or where they currently live or if they are just visiting on travel. You would be surprised how a seemingly small question can lead to a wide-ranging and deeper conversation. A comment about the traffic or commute to your work can lead to a discussion on what could be improved about the roads, the transportation options, or if remote work would make things easier for you and the other person.

Even just asking for the time of the day can lead you to asking about their watch (if they have one), if their day is going well or not, and perhaps a comment on if the day is going fast or slow for them since we can tend to perceive time’s passing differently from one another. Key to taking ‘small talk’ to what could be considered ‘medium talk’, or a genuine conversation is to listen intently, wait until they are finished speaking, and follow up with a question or a comment relevant to what they told you.

If you are in a rush, are having a bad day, or are just not in the mood to continue the conversation, you can let it end after the ‘small talk’ or pleasant greeting or two. However, if you feel like you would like to get to know the other person or group of people better, make sure to listen, let them finish, and ask a question about them (within reason), or like the general comment(s) you made, and keep the conversation going for a while longer.

You should not have to do all the work in the conversation and if it is running its course, politely excuse yourself and say goodbye and that it was nice to meet them. Conversations naturally start and end but if you would like to be more social, make a new friend, or just put yourself out there in the world more, you must ‘be interested’ in those around you. You should do your best to refrain from making the conversation all about you at first and what you’re up to. Naturally, that should make its way into the conversation but if you started talking to this person, you would like to get to know them more, then, I believe you should be interested in who they are, find out more about them, and get to know them beyond just the time of the day, the weather forecast, or how their day is generally going.

Even if you feel like you don’t know much about their work, school, hobbies, interests, or where they are from, it shouldn’t prevent the conversation from continuing as you can show curiosity about their background and try to learn more about them from themselves. If there is anything I have learned about my own social life, people like to talk about themselves and will be happy to answer questions about themselves if done in a polite and respectful manner. It’s important to know someone’s boundaries especially if they are still somewhat of a stranger to you but usually, they’ll be willing to share a lot about who they are, where they are from, what they like to do in their free time, and what gets them excited about life in general.

If you feel like your social life could use a boost, I recommend being more interested in others and you should start to feel like you’re making progress in your conversations. Now, it should not be so one sided that they know nothing about you as that would be a bit odd as they’ll likely want to ask you the same questions in response. The conversation should not feel like a one-sided interrogation or a job interview. There should be a natural give and take where you both are interested in each other and you are letting each other answer questions, talk about possible mutual interests, and even discussing if your personal backgrounds overlap at all.

The 2nd part of a successful beginning of any kind of positive first impression is to ‘be interesting’, which I know is a broad statement to make but you should have things to talk about to that person. You should know a little bit about where you’re from, talk about what excites you about life whether that’s a particular hobby, interest, or activity you like to do. Your life will often involve work or school or both at the same time, but I would recommend making yourself interesting beyond what you do to make a living. If you like traveling, let the person ask you about where you’ve been. If you enjoy learning languages, discuss which ones. If you like to build bird houses or molding ceramic pottery, discuss the process(es) involved in getting either activity done.

While you should be interested in other people to get to know them and have interesting conversations, don’t be shy to discuss who you are in return. You should have a life that is beyond work or school even if it is a large part of our lives. If you don’t have many hobbies or interests, perhaps pivot to what goal(s) you have for the future. It is easier when you have a lot on going on in terms of your outside interests, activities, or hobbies, so that is where the ’be interesting’ comes into play.

You don’t have to be doing something cool, exciting, or fascinating every day, but I find it is easier to build a friendship or relationship when you can share something that you are passionate about and can even include them in on. Whether it is traveling together, going on a hike, building something out of wood or metal, or maybe playing a sport, you can show you are an interesting individual. You can also show that you are inclusive too by allowing yourself to show that hobby or interest to the other person and see if they would enjoy doing that with you as a result. They can also let you join in on what they enjoy doing as well giving you a new hobby or interest that you can learn more about, partake in, and build upon with that other person as well.

Being social may not come naturally or easily to some of us but I think a good way to make it easier is to ‘be interested’ in who they are, what they do, and how they came to be who they are today. Once you do that, you can show that you can ‘be interesting’ with what you enjoy doing in life and that you would like them to be involved or help them learn about it and see if it is something they want to try. I think these are two good ways to be better socially and can lead you to building stronger friendships and relationships as a result.