Category: society

Be Wary of Bread and Circuses

“There’s nothing wrong with distractions and wanting to enjoy an event, a spectacle, or indulge a bit but in the times that we’re living in, it’s important to realize that focusing only on ‘bread and circuses’ is something we can no longer afford to do.”

Who doesn’t enjoy sports or entertainment or both? People since the dawn of time have enjoyed being entertained or have been spectators or participants in games, sports, or other spectacles. At best, it is a thrilling adrenaline rush to be part of it to the roar of hundreds or thousands of people. At worse, it is a pleasant distraction from the humdrum of our daily life and our routines. There’s nothing wrong with distractions and wanting to enjoy an event, a spectacle, or indulge a bit but in the times that we’re living in, it’s important to realize that focusing only on ‘bread and circuses’ is something we can no longer afford to do.

The concept and phrasing of “bread and circuses or in Latin known as, “panem et circenses”, comes from the Roman Empire and belongs to the Roman poet Juvenal. Juvenal criticized how the Roman leadership would use free food such as bread and grant entertainment such as the gladiator events and other spectacles of the coliseum to distract the citizenry from societal and economic decay. While the Roman empire declined and fell as all empires do, today, in our modern world, we have major sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup and the NFL Super Bowl. Reality Television shows remain quite popular, and the media spends hours on celebrity scandals and gossip rather than focus on systemic issues affecting each of us daily.

Why is this an issue today as it was almost 200 years ago? I would argue that we are living through an era of upheaval including political instability, economic inequality, the effects of climate change, and the rise of authoritarianism. Distraction such as ‘bread and circuses’ help to keep people distracted from these ongoing issues and is a powerful tool to be utilized by those holding power. While sports and entertainment can be healthy outlets, it does not go well for a society when it is all-consuming, and people are overly reliant on it each day for fulfillment or pleasure. An active citizenry must remain focused on issues that affect them and their families as if they are paying attention and are engaged, positive change is more likely to occur as a result.

Political leaders can use major sporting events to help push their agendas forward as the times surrounding such events are the easiest to enact policies that are controversial but in which public attention is directed elsewhere. Politicians and leaders can also engage in controversies surrounding sporting events and how it related to ‘culture wars’ and ‘celebrity feuds’ to divert from ongoing political scandals or economic problems. Major sporting events are also used to stir national pride in a country and can be used to distract from real issues that the country is facing as well.

Sports and entertainment are big money for corporations and for wealthy individuals. Sports can reflect ongoing economic inequalities especially when multimillion-dollar commercials are paid for by a company rather than in investing in their own workforce’s compensation. Money spent in the billions of dollars each year on sports betting, gambling, or on tickets could have been funneled towards programs focusing on social well-being in health care, education, or infrastructure.

Celebrities and athletes should be compensated well for the work they do but there is an issue when ordinary workers who help make events, games, and other spectacles run smoothly are not paid a living wage. Thousands of workers are making decent pay, but it pales in comparison to what the ‘stars’ are making especially when they are the one preparing their food, keeping them safe with security measures, and helping stock the shelves and sell the merchandise.

There is also the ongoing debate in society about taxpayer money funding massive students and events that are not benefiting the surrounding community or the city itself. A lot of that money gets funneled to corporations in the ‘naming rights’ and to the ‘billionaires’ who see their net worth grow up as the sports franchise becomes more valuable over the years. A society where income inequality is high and is rising will be reflected in sports and entertainment as well. While there are some economic benefits to be made by the average person in these industries, a large sum of the gains to go to the wealthiest owners, players, and stars while the wealth does not ‘trickle down’ much, if at all.

While some of these issues do get coverage in the media although increasingly sparingly, I would argue that general news media, especially in recent years, has become sensationalistic and has focused on ‘click bait’ content rather than on serious investigative journalism. News outlets have prioritized celebrity feuds, sports gossip, and other trivial controversies that pale in comparison in terms of importance compared to real issues going on with the wider society. Viral content gets more clicks and eyeballs, especially on social media, and that’s where the focus has turned especially in recent years. Too much information at one time also presents most people from being able to decipher of what’s real vs. what’s fake and what to pay attention to because ‘information overload’ makes it hard to pinpoint what is likely to affect them the most and is worth paying attention to.

Similarly to the issues I’ve mentioned that ‘bread and circuses’ distract from each day, one issue that is the most immediate and wide scale in terms of ongoing effects is the accelerating climate crisis. Major sports and entertainment events all have an environmental cost and leave a sizable carbon footprint. When you tally up, the travel emissions, energy consumption because of the game or event, and the waste involved from having thousands of people in attendance, communities who support the events or games must deal with the aftermath, including both the financial and environmental costs.

While these massive events like the Super Bowl, the FIFA World Cup, and the Olympics due to pledge to be more sustainable and environmentally friendly, many companies do not end up footing the bill for the carbon emitted or the energy used. They can do so because the companies help sponsor the events and contribute enough money to them, so they aren’t as liable to help with the environmental aftereffects. Looking at two recent examples with the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2022 FIFA World Cup in Qarar, these two events led to increased carbon emissions (FIFA) and environmental aftereffects. (Olympics)

While I am supportive of sports and entertainment and have been a fan of both, I still recognize the need to tone it back these days because excessive consumption of either will not help our society and our world be better. Sports and reality TV may seem as important as real issues, but they are not and never will be. People must stay engaged in what’s going on in their community, their country, and their world. As consumers of news, we also have the individual and collective power to choose which news outlets we give our time and our money to as well. If frivolities and ‘bread and circuses’ is all a news organization is offering, then it’s not a real news organization to begin with.

 Advocating for solutions to real issues, being a reliable voter, and volunteering in your community consistently can help keep the ‘bread and circuses’ to a more tolerable level. We all want to experience gratification and rewards in our lives and sports, or entertainment do both in providing that kind of dopamine hit but it’s a cheap one, and it’s not something we do ourselves. Political activism, working for social change, and developing our problem-solving abilities is real gratification in whatever issue you want to work on in our world. It’s not as instant and far from being easy but improving anything in society will take effort, discomfort, patience, and a lot of perseverance. Make sure you advocate for what you care about because celebrities and sports figures may not do the same, if at all.

You should stay focused on what’s important in the news, be civically engaged and encourage others in your life to do so. Remember to balance your consumption of entertainment and sports along with awareness of the issues and problems affecting you, your families, and your communities. Watching the Super Bowl is fine and I just did so recently as I have most years of my life, but if we continue to ignore political scandals, economic problems, and societal injustices, there won’t be much to celebrate in our society beyond that one day of the calendar year, where two teams of millionaires play a game that you can’t even be part of or even afford to go to.

Avoiding Analysis Paralysis

“We also often must think if the choice or decision we make is ‘perfect’ but to put it bluntly, no choice or decision is ever perfect.”

With the rapid pace of change and constant streams of information coming at us each day, it leads a lot of us to overthink decisions and choices to the point of inaction. There are too many choices we have to make, sometimes big and sometimes small, but we can easily get overwhelmed by the fear of making the wrong decision or if it’s better to avoid deciding altogether. We also often must think if the choice or decision we make is ‘perfect’ but to put it bluntly, no choice or decision is ever perfect.

Everyday, we are faced with hundreds or even thousands of choices such as choosing what to eat, what to wear, to what to do with your life, career, or school choices. Major life decisions should always take precedence in terms of your focus and your analysis, but you have to make the decision at some point regarding career, school, investments, and relationships. You must be able to prioritize effectively the decisions you have to make in the order of what’s more urgent and what’s most important. Smaller choices should deserve some time, but they should take away from the big choices we have to make day in and day out. Prioritization, knowing when to limit the time spent on a choice, and embracing choices or decisions that are ‘good enough’ over ‘perfect’ will help prevent you from falling into an ‘analysis paralysis.’

I believe that ‘analysis paralysis’ is more common than ever due to several factors. We have too much information and it’s overloading our thought process because it’s seemingly endless with regards to the Internet and it’s harder than ever to filter out good information from bad. The fear of missing out (FOMO) has us thinking that we have endless choices in life rather than a few immediate choices we should focus on that affect our lives.

Social media makes it seem like we have endless time or endless options to consider but we must reframe it as these are the choices I can make that are within my control and for which directly impact me. Society tends to reward those people who seem to have made the best decisions even when we know we don’t know the full story behind the choice because social media and the Internet don’t give us everything regarding how a person decided or made a choice to begin with.

Too many choices each day of life, which society can thrust upon us all at once, is a modern problem especially regarding how many streaming services, career paths, educational options, and other non-essential choices that flood our attention spans. While it’s important to make choices, you should not waste more time than you need analyzing every option out there because it would be a waste of your time.

As I mentioned earlier, to avoid analysis paralysis, you have to choose only on what you can control or have an impact on your life to decide upon immediately. You got to set time limits on these decisions you can make and are relevant to your life at the time. There is also no such thing as a ‘perfect’ choice or decision and every decision we make has positives and negatives to it as well as unknown factors that we cannot foresee upon making the choice.

You should be identifying the key factors of the choice and what impacts it’ll have from making one choice or the other, but for which truly matters rather than analyzing what could be or should be without knowing what those unknowns may lead to. Identifying what truly matters and really impacts you day to day should be priority in your decision making and should be based on relevant information that is creditable and trustworthy too.

Taking small choices or decisions can make it easier as well to handle bigger decisions but both need to be happening in your life. You can’t ignore the big choices or the small choices and often they will need to be made at the same time or same day. Breaking down your decisions and the steps that lead to them will reduce the chances of you being overwhelmed by making them. Take the decision-making process one step at a time, especially for the big decisions, will make it less daunting and give you more confidence in how you analyze the choices you have.

Limit the amount of information you expose yourself to and make sure the information you get is trustworthy before making your choice or decision. There is too much information out there for every choice we could make in this information age so make sure you trust your sources, limit them to a handful, and try to analyze both sides of the choice without delaying it too much.

By recognizing what ‘analysis paralysis’ is, how often it can affect us in our daily lives due to living through the ‘information age’ and taking steps to overcoming this paralysis one choice or decision at a time, you can improve the quality of your life immensely. Go easy on yourself and try to make the best decisions you can with the best information you can get. We all make mistakes in our choices and our decisions because we’re human but it’s important also to learn from past mistakes and do the best we can each day we make a choice or decision.

My Thoughts on Voltaire’s Most Relevant Quote Today

“His quote underscores the perilous connection between irrational beliefs and destructive actions, an infamous dynamic that has been exploited throughout history and remains a pressing concern today around the world.”

The famous French philosopher and writer, Voltaire, is known for his various works from poetry to stories to essays in the 18th century but Voltaire’s quote, “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities,” carries a profound meaning for the modern world in 2025. It serves as both a warning and a call to be vigilant against the forces of misinformation, manipulation, lies, and prejudice. His quote underscores the perilous connection between irrational beliefs and destructive actions, an infamous dynamic that has been exploited throughout history and remains a pressing concern today around the world.

At its core, Voltaire’s quote on ‘absurdities causing atrocities’ highlights the susceptibility of human beings to believe falsehoods when they are presented compellingly and repeatedly particularly by figures of authority or influence or power. In the digital age of social media and instant communications, this vulnerability is amplified by the unprecedented speed and reach of information instantaneously. Social media platforms, news outlets, and even AI-generated content contribute to a landscape where disinformation and blasphemy can thrive. Absurdities, once relegated to the fringes of our society, can now gain mainstream traction in a matter of minutes or hours.

A stark example of this phenomena is the spread of conspiracy theories. From unfounded claims about global health crises to political propaganda, these theories manipulate emotions and exploit fears, dividing societies, and undermining trust in our institutions. The belief in absurdities, whether it’s a denial of scientific evidence or the vilification of certain groups of people unjustly, creates fertile ground for acts of hatred and violence to occur.

To protect against the dangers of absurd beliefs that are spread rapidly without fact checking, fostering critical thinking is more important than ever. Education systems should do a better job of prioritizing media literacy, teaching students and even professionals how to evaluate sources, discern biases, and question narratives. In 2025, where now AI-driven content can mimic credible sources and change them slightly, the ability to think critically is more vital than ever.

Fact-checking organizations and regulatory measures can also play a role especially when social media companies refuse to do it themselves as was evidenced by Meta founder, Mark Zuckerberg, refusing to have his platform offer fact checking to users on what gets posted on the platform. Social media platforms should be held accountable for curbing the spread of disinformation especially when they do nothing to curb it. Transparency in the algorithms that they are using along with stricter content moderation policies are necessary to mitigate potential harm to users and information consumers. However, these efforts should also be balanced with protecting freedom of expression and speech to avoid creating new forms of digital censorship.

At the individual level, fostering open dialogue and empathy is crucial. Encouraging conversations that bridge ideological divides can reduce the allure of echo chambers that can bring out the worst in others. People are less likely to fall prey to absurdities when they are exposed to diverse perspectives and any differences are addressed through mutual understanding.

Voltaire’s quote also speaks to the unseemly process of ‘othering’ where certain groups are dehumanized or treated as inherently inferior based on lies and slander. This phenomenon has been a precursor to some of history’s darkest chapters. When absurd beliefs about the “other” are accepted and not dismissed or countered with facts, atrocities can become justified in the eyes of the perpetrators.

Historical examples abound and there are dozens of them I could write about. The Holocaust during World War II is a chilling reminder of how anti-Semitic propaganda and pseudoscientific absurdities fueled the systematic extermination of over six million Jews and millions of other minority groups. Nazi ideology relied on first dehumanizing Jewish people, portraying them as threats to society. This ‘othering’ laid the foundation for the eventual genocide that occurred.

Similarly, the Rwandan Genocide in 1994 illustrates how media propaganda can incite mass violence. Hutu extremists used radio broadcasts to spread hate speech against the Tutsi minority, describing them as “cockroaches” and urging their extermination. The absurd belief that the Hutu extremists had about an ‘existential threat’ posed by the Tutsi population led to the massacre of approximately 800,000 people within 100 days, one of the darkest years in the 20th century.

In more recent history, the treatment of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar serves as another example. The dissemination of false online narratives about the Rohingya group, portraying them as invaders and terrorists, was used to justify violence and forced displacement from their homes. The role of social media, particularly Facebook, in amplifying hate speech highlights the modern implications of Voltaire’s warning about believing absurdities eventually leading to atrocities.

As we continue to navigate the complexities of a globalized and interconnected world, Voltaire’s words remind us of our shared responsibility to uphold truth, justice, and basic humanity. Combating absurd beliefs requires collective action across educational, technological, and cultural spheres in our society. Governments, organizations, and individuals must work together to challenge disinformation and promote inclusivity and respect.

Empathy, acts of kindness, and compassion are all potent antidotes to prevent ‘othering.’ Recognizing the shared humanity of all people, regardless of race, religion, or background, diminishes the power of divisive and toxic narratives that are not true. History teaches us that atrocities thrive in the absence of understanding or dialogue. By fostering connections and celebrating diversity while respecting and acknowledging our differences from one another, societies can resist the allure of absurdities and the horrors they could potentially enable.

Anyone can make an impact in preventing the spread of falsehoods, blasphemy, or scapegoating as this begins at the grassroots level, such as within our own neighborhoods and communities. To achieve this goal, individuals and groups must actively engage people in fostering environments of mutual respect and accountability. Open communication and dialogue are key to identifying and addressing harmful narratives before they gain traction and spread futher.

When you encounter falsehoods or lies, it is important to call them out in a civilized manner. This means addressing the issue without resorting to any aggression or personal attacks. Instead, provide clear, evidence-based counterarguments and facts that encourage reflection rather than defensiveness. For example, sharing verified data, fact-checking done through reliable sources, or calmly asking thought-provoking questions can shift the conversation towards the truth.

Community leaders, educators, and influencers have a unique role in setting an example for their neighbors, students, and followers. By promoting fact-checking, highlighting diverse perspectives, and actively countering divisive and hateful rhetoric, they can cultivate a culture of inclusion, tolerance, and critical inquiry. Grassroots initiatives, such as hosting workshops on improving media literacy, how to do fact checking, or creating forums for dialogue with people of different backgrounds, can also help inoculate communities against the spread of absurdities.

Additionally, I believe it is very important to foster empathy through personal storytelling and connections that can counteract scapegoating. For example, over the decades, thousands of Holocaust survivors have shared their story of how they were able to survive atrocities that came about because large groups of people in their society started believing or tolerating absurd claims based on lies and falsehoods. Hearing the lived experiences of marginalized or affected individuals from Rwanda to Myanmar to the Sudan humanizes them and challenges stereotypes. This approach can dismantle the ‘us versus them’ mentality that fuels both hatred and violence.

Ultimately, building resilient communities requires consistent effort and constant dedication. By prioritizing education, empathy, and open dialogue with others, we can better guard against the dangers of falsehoods and prevent absurdities from taking root or spreading. In doing our part, we uphold the principles of truth, justice, and fairness that Voltaire so fervently championed.

In conclusion, Voltaire’s insight is as relevant in 2025 as it was in the 18th century when his quote was born. Believing absurdities paves the way for atrocities to occur, but by embracing critical thinking, rejecting hate, and nurturing empathy, humanity can rise above these challenges that remain with us today sadly. The famous quote from Voltaire is not just a warning for us but a guidepost for maintaining a world grounded in truth, justice, and compassion for one another.

Adaptability Is Both Our Greatest Strength And Weakness

“To be, feel, or act the same or to be resistant to change can hurt us in an ever-changing society where we are constantly at the mercy of forces that are beyond our control.”

Being adaptable is largely thought of as a good characteristic and for which you are usually commended for. We try our best to be adaptable to the challenges and opportunities that life throws at us as best as we can. To be, feel, or act the same or to be resistant to change can hurt us in an ever-changing society where we are constantly at the mercy of forces that are beyond our control.

When you can adjust to new conditions or changes, there is usually positive reinforcement from others who also are adaptable to the changes or conditions at the same time. My concern is that while adaptability has helped us thrive in different eras as a species, it has at the same time been a weakness of ours in adapting to norms or behaviors that harm our collective progress.

Adaptability is both our biggest strength and our biggest weakness in that it both allows us to change conditions and norms for the better, but also it can make things worse when we backslide into previous harmful attitudes, values, and beliefs that can make a comeback. Being adaptable has helped humanity survive different tumultuous eras since the early days when we were foraging for basic sustenance and shelter to survive.

The act of adaptation goes back to what makes us innately human, at our core, even when we get used to adapting to less-than-ideal conditions or changes that revert progress we’ve made rather than embracing further progress to our benefit. While change does not always equal to progress, my concern is that when we are adaptable to any kind of change, both positive and negative, without thinking of the consequences of such constant adaptability, we remain at risk for going backwards and worsening our quality of life.

To give a few examples of when adaptability is a strength of ours as a species, I would refer to our ever-increasing desire to assimilate, tolerate, and promote diversity, inclusion, and equity in our world. This social inclusion and desire for equal rights has been an adaptation that is rather recent when you consider how far humanity has come from the centuries and millennia of mistreatment, discrimination, slavery, and wars that were fought to keep the horrible status quo of how we treat each other.

Our ability to adapt to making sure that this previous status quo was no longer acceptable and repugnant in terms of previous attitudes has led to greater tolerance, acceptance, and more diversity throughout the world. Yes, there are still challenges to our adaptability in this important area but to say that we haven’t made progress in this area of life would be a falsehood. Being able to adapt successfully to these societal changes has by and large been a positive development in my lifetime and beforehand earlier on in the 20th century. While there has been negative resistance to this kind of adaptability, I’ve found there has been most people accepting these changes that have gone on and while the struggle continues, this strength of humanity to seek greater equality and inclusion has been a net positive of our adaptability mechanism.

In addition to that previous point, the expansion of social and economic rights to more and more people throughout the world have led to greater political and civil rights as a result. They have been tied to each other and have been a positive step in the right direction. There is greater representation politically and economically for more diverse populations than ever before and while progress still needs to be made, the status quo has been upended by our adaptability in this area to these kinds of societal changes.

While adaptability is our greatest strength, it can also be our greatest weakness ironically, and this has been shown in different areas of life where there has been a reversal of progress recently or too much comfort shown with a lack of progress. I’ll point to two different areas where there been a reluctant yet steady adaptability towards the climate crisis and for democratic backsliding across the world. Where there is significant resistance in both areas, we are running out of time in preventing these new ‘norms’ from taking hold. It’s common knowledge that our planet’s climate is changing with disastrous consequences for livability for more and more people in different worlds.

Longer-lasting heat waves, disastrous storms with greater frequency, and unyielding glacial icecap melting threaten to become the rule of our life on this planet rather than the exception. From my perspective, we have become complacent to these changes and are looking to adapt rather than to work harder to change course. From our political leaders to our civil society, we are looking more and more like we are giving up rather than trying harder to reverse the negative changes set to befall us around the world.

Our ability to adapt to a warming world highlight how while we can adapt to negative changes, many of us will still suffer as a result and some won’t survive this kind of adaptation. Rather than seek to change the status quo in climate action, I believe that we are seeking to adapt to the changes that will befall us despite the harm it will do to the planet and our place in it rather than do our best to collectively try to resist such a negative adaptation.

Related to this regretful kind of adaptability, our political leadership worldwide has failed to martial the resources and the willpower necessary to combat climate change as quickly and as effectively as needed. Instead of championing solutions and working across societies to solve the climate crisis, there has been instead of focus on centralizing power, holding on to political office, and reversing previous norms and values of democratic rule to a forthright shift towards autocratic or dictatorial rule. I think this is a negative adaptation that more and more countries are seemingly getting used to as previous norms, values, and equality under the law are being undermined. It is not too late to reverse the damage done while the power of the vote and the right to assemble and protest is still allowed but that is not a given.

As much as we had to adapt to democratic rule centuries ago, it’s been shown that when there is no fight to keep those norms and values alive, we can just as slide backwards to the days when kings, tyrants, and demagogues ruled by force and decree across broad swaths of the world. Democratic norms and values are not universal values these days but our adaptions to them have largely further greater equality, inclusion, and prosperity than the opposite of autocratic rule. If we get used to the unraveling of previous norms that had served us well as a society to a previous time where we adapted to autocratic norms and rule by the few over the many, then we are in for a rough period of adaptation which will not serve us as well.

Adaptability has largely served humanity well since our early days of foraging and hunter-gathering. It is an innate trait that we must make whatever conditions we live in work well enough for us. Being able to adapt can both help us but also harm us depending on what we are adapting to. Let’s continue to set a higher standard individually and collectively to what we tolerate and adapt to and what we will not adapt to. We still have a choice in what we get used to and for what we do not accept and let’s hope we always will but right now, our adaptability is leading us on a crash course where instead of choosing to adapt to our surroundings, we will be forced to do so and will have to do so as a result without having had the choice in previous eras.

The Megacity: A Cacophony of Humanity

“Only from above can you see how such massive populations can occupy relatively small portions of the Earth, while vast stretches of land remain sparsely populated.”

Flying into a megacity offers a unique perspective on its scale as I have done countless times over the years. From the window seat of an airplane, it’s impossible to fully grasp the size of cities like Istanbul, Mexico City, São Paulo, New York, or Los Angeles—cities that house tens of millions of people. Only from above can you see how such massive populations can occupy relatively small portions of the Earth, while vast stretches of land remain sparsely populated.

In these cities, one can sense how humanity has evolved over the centuries, transitioning from primarily agricultural societies to industrial powerhouses, and now, to the complexities of a post-industrial world. The growth of cities, especially megacities, reflects humanity’s ongoing desire to improve civilization, particularly in the realms of efficiency, innovation, and social equity.

In the 21st century, megacities are projected to grow at an unprecedented rate, particularly in Africa and Asia. New cities are expected to join the ranks of those already housing tens of millions of people, with some approaching populations of 100 million. This trend of urbanization is part of a broader pattern that dates to ancient civilizations. From Ancient Rome and Babylon to Athens, our cities have always concentrated power, knowledge, culture, commerce, and industry in urban centers. With a global population of 8 billion and rising, megacities are a relatively recent development, but they reflect historical trends toward greater urbanization. This process will likely continue throughout the 21st century.

More than ever, megacities are testing grounds for technological advancements and infrastructure developments that will shape the future. Whether it’s high-speed rail, autonomous vehicles, smart electricity grids, or renewable energy sources, these cities are ideal laboratories for innovation. Given their size and complexity, megacities allow for large-scale experiments in sustainability, from energy-efficient buildings to advanced waste management systems. These cities are also at the forefront of efforts to address current environmental challenges, integrating technologies that reduce their carbon emission footprint and improve water and energy use.

With millions of people living in near proximity, megacities serve as testing grounds for the social systems that underpin modern life: healthcare, education, and public safety. Cities with large populations can quickly reveal whether social safety nets are effective or in need of reform. These urban centers provide a direct feedback loop for policy ideas and social services, offering a unique opportunity to evaluate and improve the systems that impact the quality of life. The success or failure of these initiatives in megacities often sets the tone for broader national or even global policy shifts.

Megacities are also microcosms of global culture, where different languages, customs, and traditions coexist, creating a vibrant and diverse urban fabric. This cultural mixing is a hallmark of humanity’s increasing interconnectedness. Cities with millions of people can foster greater cooperation, creativity, and tolerance, but they also present various challenges. Integrating diverse cultures and languages in ways that promote social cohesion can be difficult, especially when disparities in wealth, power, and opportunity persist. However, megacities are often sites of cultural innovation and collaboration, where new ideas are born and tested on a global stage.

Cities are often the birthplace of new political ideas and social policies. When these policies succeed, they can be scaled up and implemented nationwide or even worldwide. Urban areas, being more densely populated and diverse, offer the ideal environment for experimenting with solutions to systemic issues, such as education reform, income inequality, or civic engagement. The ability to gather immediate feedback from a large and diverse population means that cities can rapidly assess the effectiveness of new public policies, making them key players in shaping the future of society.

The rapid urbanization of the world since the industrial age brings with it both opportunities and challenges. As cities continue to grow and scale, they will increasingly become the focal points for innovations and social experiments that shape the trajectory of human civilization. At their core, cities reflect humanity’s inherent desire to evolve, improve, and create something greater than us. The drive for progress embodied in the ambition, growth, and efficiency of urban areas mirrors our collective aspiration for a better future. However, this continued growth plans to bring more complexities. As megacities expand, they face the challenge of providing a good quality of life for millions of people while managing the unintended consequences of scale, such as overcrowding, pollution, and social inequality.

The success or failure of megacities in the 21st century has global implications. As urban centers grapple with present challenges like climate change, wealth inequality, and the effects of economic globalization, the solutions they implement or fail to implement will have ripple effects across the globe. From Tokyo to Cairo, from Bogotá to Kinshasa, these cities are testing grounds for humanity’s ability to adapt to a rapidly changing world. The development of megacities is not just a local issue or an urban issue; it is a global concern that reflects our collective ability to meet the challenges of the 21st century.

The paradox of progress is that while we strive to improve our cities and societies, we must recognize the complexities of providing a high quality of life for growing populations. The ambition to create more efficient, sustainable, and equitable urban environments must be balanced with the practical realities of physical infrastructure, resource management, and social integration. If megacities are successful in making responsible choices now, they will be better equipped to meet these challenges in the future. The decisions made today will shape the cities of tomorrow and, by extension, the world at large.

As the world becomes increasingly urbanized, the fate of megacities and urban areas will be intertwined with the well-being of all people. What happens in these cities, whether positive or negative, will affect everyone, whether they live in rural, suburban, or exurban areas. The interconnectedness of our societies means that the success or failure of urban areas will have far-reaching consequences. We must ensure that the policies and solutions developed in megacities are inclusive and benefit all members of society. The prosperity of our cities is not just the concern of city dwellers, but it is a global concern too. This becomes particularly evident to me when I fly over a city or megacity, witnessing its sprawling lights and endless streets, and realizing that the future of our civilization is unfolding in these urban spaces.

The Why of Atonement

“However, beyond its religious connotations, atonement serves a profound purpose in individual personal development and promoting social cohesion.”

Atonement, the process of seeking forgiveness for wrongdoings, mistakes, or outright sins, is deeply ingrained in human cultures for millennia, especially within the framework of the three major monotheistic religions. However, beyond its religious connotations, atonement serves a profound purpose in individual personal development and promoting social cohesion.

When we seek atonement privately or in public, it is not merely for the sake of appeasing others or a higher power that we may believe in. Often, it is instead for our own psychological healing and moral growth throughout the course of our lives. This lifelong process of self-reflection and reconciliation is vital for both personal improvement and societal progress.

Atonement plays a central role in the three major monotheistic religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Each religious tradition emphasizes the importance of repentance, asking for forgiveness, and making amends for past wrongdoing, albeit with distinct interpretations and practices unique to each religion.

In Judaism, atonement and seeking repentance is a core theme of the religion, especially during the recent holiday of Yom Kippur that just past last week, also known as, the Day of Atonement. This holy day in the Jewish calendar is marked by fasting from both food and drink for 24 hours, prayer, and introspection, where individuals seek forgiveness from God for their sins. However, Jewish teaching also emphasizes that for sins committed against other people, one must seek forgiveness directly from the person who was harmed or affected. Atonement, therefore, in the Jewish tradition, is not just a divine transaction but also a social responsibility.

In Christianity, atonement is primarily associated with the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, whose death is seen as a means for the reconciliation between God and humanity. However, Christians are also encouraged to confess their sins, seek forgiveness, and repent in their daily lives. This process of confession and reconciliation allows individuals to reflect on their shortcomings and work towards spiritual and moral renewal. The act of confession is usually done with a priest or a church leader privately, but it can also be done between the person who committed the wrongful act and the person(s) who were affected by it, like Judaism.

In Islam, atonement is closely linked to the concept of “tawbah” or repentance. Muslims are encouraged to seek forgiveness from God for their sins with sincerity and to avoid repeating the wrongdoing(s) again. The emphasis in Islam is on turning away from sin and seeking to live a righteous life in accordance with God’s will. Similarly to Judaism and Christianity, there is a focus on seeking forgiveness from those who have been wronged, which underscores the social dimension of atonement.

While the specific rituals and interpretations of atonement may vary, all the major monotheistic religions recognize the need for repentance, forgiveness, and moral correction. This demonstrates the universal human need to reconcile with the divine and the society when we err and do wrong.

Beyond religious imperatives, atonement serves as a powerful tool for personal development. By acknowledging our mistakes and seeking to rectify them, we embark on a journey of self-awareness and moral growth. The process of doing atonement often involves deep self-reflection and introspection. We are supposed to recognize not only the harm or indignity we may have caused others but also the deeper motivations behind our actions. This introspection allows us to understand our flaws, learn from our mistakes, and ultimately become better individuals.

Atonement, when done well, fosters emotional and psychological healing. Guilt and remorse, if left unchecked, can burden the conscience and prevent personal growth from ever occurring in the person who committed the wrongdoing. When we make amends, we release ourselves from the emotional weight of guilt, allowing us to move forward with a clearer conscience and a stronger sense of purpose. Atonement, then is not just about seeking forgiveness from others or from a higher power, but about forgiving ourselves and allowing ourselves the grace to grow.

Atonement also plays a crucial role in maintaining overall societal harmony and prosperity. No human society can function without a mechanism or a method for individuals to acknowledge and make amends for their wrongdoings. In fact, many legal and social systems are built around the concept of atonement, whether through restitution, punishment, or reconciliation. By allowing individuals the opportunity to atone for their mistakes, societies can offer a healthy path toward rehabilitation and reintegration rather than perpetual condemnation and disownment.

In a world where mistakes and sins are inevitable, the ability to atone ensures that all individuals are not defined solely by their errors and wrongdoing. Instead, they are given the opportunity to learn, grow, and go on to contribute positively to society. A society that does not allow for any kind of atonement, religious or secular, risks fostering resentment and alienation, while a society that encourages repentance and forgiveness cultivates greater compassion, empathy, and unity.

The act of Atonement is a deeply human practice that transcends religious boundaries. While monotheistic religions emphasize the importance of repentance and forgiveness, atonement also serves as a key tool for personal development and societal cohesion. By seeking atonement, we not only make amends for our wrongdoings but also embark on a path of self-improvement and to not make the same mistakes again. As individuals and as part of a society, the ability to atone allows us to learn from our mistakes, to heal from guilt, and build a more just and compassionate world.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and The True Quality of Life

“Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has always been a good reference for me in describing what exactly makes us have a safe, secure, happy, and fulfilling life. I do believe we need to have our hierarchy of needs in mind as people when we focus on what’s best for our fellow man or women and how to build a prosperous society.”

Everybody wishes to have a high quality of life but what exactly does that mean? We hear the term ‘quality of life’ a lot but what goes into the ‘quality’ of it and what makes for a satisfying ‘life’? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has always been a good reference for me in describing what exactly makes us have a safe, secure, happy, and fulfilling life. I do believe we need to have our hierarchy of needs in mind as people when we focus on what’s best for our fellow man or women and how to build a prosperous society.

                                                                                                Source: SimplyPsychology.com

While I don’t wish to compare my own views on what true ‘quality of life’ is compared to Abraham Maslow’s ‘hierarchy of needs’ as shown in the pyramid diagram above, but it’s important to look at what makes a society flourish. I agree with Maslow at the base of the pyramid is the most important to ensure a life has some quality with it.

The societies that have the strongest base for ‘physiological needs’ usually are the happiest and satisfied with their quality of life. For example, you cannot focus on ‘safety and security’ as much as you can when you can’t even guarantee that the water you drink is clean and the air that you breathe is clean. Everything else on Maslow’s pyramid goes out the window if you are hungry, thirsty, don’t have a roof over your head or cannot clothe yourself or your family.

A lack or absence of ‘physiological needs’ is often found in the poorest or least developed of our societies and can still plague even our wealthiest and most developed societies. The key thing for all societies is that we should have an attitude of wanting to guarantee the ‘highest quality of life’ we can deliver to all people rather than just the few who can afford it financially. I do believe any society and its leadership is responsible for delivering on both ‘physiological needs’ and on ‘safety and security’ and once that is achieved, it will lead to better conditions whereas we go up Maslow’s pyramid, love, belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization tend to be easier to achieve as well. True quality of life is knowing that if you fall on hard times, not by your fault, you’ll be looked after by your society and your government while you look to get back on your feet.

I don’t believe it’s anything farfetched or overly utopian to believe in everyone having the right to breathe clean air, drink clean war, have enough food each day, and have a roof over one’s head. I also think that while education and health care may not be on ‘physiological needs’, it ranks close in that regard to build that functional society. Everyone should be able to afford a good education and find good health care where they live and societies that accomplish this for their people are rewarded back and then some with citizens who are thriving as a result. Societies that are more educated, healthier, and with more opportunities to succeed tend to be those that have a true quality of life in my view.

You may be thinking that true quality of life is about having a big bank account, a bigger house, all the gadgets and electronics you could ever want, and all your material desires within reach, but to me, that would not go along at all with Maslow’s hierarchy. Having that stuff may make you happier but it doesn’t reflect a true quality of life in any society. If the roads are falling apart, people around you are suffering and in poverty, and you can go bankrupt for seeking medical care or a higher education, your quality of life will also suffer as a result even if you’re not directly affected by it.

When we are looked after or cared by others in the society who can ensure we have a good education, good health care, and to have affordable housing, the quality of life for everyone will go up. We are not islands unto ourselves alone and we are reflections of how we treat others. If you’re reading this article, think more about how your society or country could have a better quality of life not just for yourself but for the people living there too.

I ask that you believe in your ability to create change whether that’s advocating for more environmental regulations, prioritizing people’s access to basic needs including food and housing and thinking more about how we can include people in making them feel they belong in the society. We should collectively work towards providing more opportunities to everyone, so they don’t feel left out. Any healthy society has those public places to gather, discuss, and hopefully fix the quality-of-life issues going on in their community, town, city, or country.  

I don’t judge a society by how wealthy it is, how big the houses people live in are, or how much they have in material goods and services available. I judge a society by how they treat the least well-off members, how they prioritize the public good or not, and what they are doing to improve the overall quality of life rather than ignoring it or having it steadily decline under their watch.

It’s important for us to start thinking about not just ourselves and our own quality of life but those of our fellow man and woman. When they are worse off than us, let’s lift them up and look out for them instead of shunning them or isolating them instead. We should always be advocating for a ‘true quality of life’ where everybody is given the opportunity to succeed, grow, live healthy and happy lives, and pursue their dreams.

We all will be better off for having invested in the basic tenets of civilized society such as education, health care, transit, housing, and healthy food supply rather than just guarantee them for the few who can afford it. The higher the quality of life is not just for us but for every member of our society, the more likely we will all flourish together and reach our highest fulfillment.

The Need to Revive Third Spaces

“In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant.”

In our current era where technology bridges vast distances across the globe in the blink of an eye but isolates more and more people within their own digital silos, the need to revive “third spaces” in society has never been more relevant. The rapid rise of social media, virtual teleconferencing, and remote work, while convenient, has inadvertently eroded the fabric of community life across the world. People now spend more time in their private homes or virtual worlds, leaving little room for real-world, in-person interaction and causing our social skills to atrophy.

This new reality has led to a society that feels increasingly fragmented, even though we are more “connected” than ever before. Reviving ‘third spaces’ as places that are neither at home nor at work, is crucial for fostering more community, improving overall mental well-being, and re-establishing a sense of belonging that is rapidly slipping away.

The concept of third spaces was first introduced by the sociologist Ray Oldenburg in the 1980s. Mr. Oldenburg argued that people need separate spaces outside of their homes (the first space) and workplaces (the second space) to relax, socialize, and build relationships. These third spaces are at the heart of community life, where casual encounters can lead to meaningful connections, new ideas can be exchanged, and civic engagement can flourish. Historically, third spaces have included places like cafés, libraries, public parks, community centers, and even religious institutions—venues that offer a neutral ground where everyone is welcome, and no one is excluded.

Third spaces are characterized by several key attributes: they are easily accessible to the public, offer a low barrier to entry, and are often inexpensive or free. The atmosphere is typically relaxed, informal, and conducive to spontaneous interactions. Unlike at work or even at home to some extent, people can let their guard down in these third spaces, making it easier to build authentic friendships and relationships. These third places provide a vital counterbalance to the isolated routines of home and work life, which can serve as anchors for community cohesion.

In the 2020s thus far, third spaces have been steadily disappearing from our society or transforming in ways that reduce their community-building potential. Many cafés and bars have morphed into workspaces, filled with patrons glued to their laptops, headphones in, and social interactions minimized. It doesn’t help when the music is blaring, and the focus is on making a profit rather than stoking conversation and comraderie.

Libraries, once vibrant hubs of communal activity, are often silent, with the rise of digital media and one-click access to books, music, movies, etc. These technological changes have reduced the need for people to physically gather there at the library even when they enjoy the nostalgia of it. Public parks are underfunded and sometimes ignored, and community centers struggle to keep their doors open amidst tight budgets and a lack of spreading the word around the town or city they want to appeal to.

The COVID-19 pandemic further accelerated this decline in third spaces. Lockdowns, social distancing, and remote work have made public gathering spaces feel risky, unappealing, or unnecessary. Even as restrictions have now eased or gone away completely, the habits formed during the pandemic continue to persist. People are increasingly content to stay home, order food and goods online, and engage with others through screens. This societal shift has left communities more disconnected and less resilient, especially to misinformation and polarization.

To address this growing disconnection, I believe that a society needs to reinvest in and revitalize these third spaces. Several types of third spaces are particularly worth reviving including the following:

  1. Community Cafés: Cafés have long been the quintessential third spaces, but they need to reclaim their role as social hubs rather than workstations. Imagine local coffee shops with community tables, guest speakers, encouraging conversation between strangers, or hosting regular events like poetry readings or discussion groups. These spaces should foster interaction and connection, not isolation.
  2. Public Libraries: Libraries are one of the few remaining third spaces that are truly accessible to all, regardless of one’s socio-economic status. Modern libraries should expand their role as community centers by offering more than just books. They can host workshops, film screenings, art exhibits, and civic meetings on important issues going on within the community. Libraries can serve as the epicenter of a community’s cultural and intellectual life. They should also include events for people of different generations or even cut across generations for communal meetups.
  3. Public Parks and Outdoor Spaces: Parks and outdoor spaces provide the setting for unstructured play, exercise, and relaxation. These spaces should be maintained and expanded, with facilities that encourage community use—such as picnic areas, playgrounds, sports courts, and outdoor stages for performances. In urban areas, the creation of pocket parks or pedestrianized streets can make a big difference in encouraging public gatherings. I have always liked the idea of having street fairs that encourage artistic and musical expression from those people within a community. Outdoor exercise areas for adults are also a great way to get people out of the home especially when they don’t pay a price to take care of their physical health.
  4. Cultural Centers: Places that celebrate local arts, traditions, and multicultural experiences can serve as vibrant third spaces. These centers can host exhibitions, live performances, and hands-on workshops that bring diverse groups together. By emphasizing inclusivity and creative expression, cultural centers help bridge societal divides and foster a sense of shared identity. I would also extend the appeal of these centers to include a focus on learning different languages, having potlucks or dinner events where different cultures can express themselves to the community, they have a presence in.
  5. Co-Working and Maker Spaces: While many co-working spaces have become more like isolating offices, there is still a potential to redesign them as collaborative third spaces. These spaces can blend work and socialization by offering communal areas for shared projects, networking events, and skill-sharing sessions. Similarly, maker spaces—where people can create, build, and invent—can foster a strong sense of community among innovators, entrepreneurs, and hobbyists. Having night classes or bootcamp sessions for adults looking to reskill or to improve their skillsets is also a way of making co-working spaces appealing not only in the daytime but at night as well. If these places can lower their costs to the public or be free to a community, it would make a huge difference to those people who need its services.

Third spaces are more than just locations for socializing and learning new things, but they also play a fundamental role in the overall health and vitality of a community.

Here’s how that is the case in various ways:

  1. Strengthening Social Bonds: Third spaces foster relationships between people who might not otherwise cross paths or meet each other. These spaces allow for casual, spontaneous interactions that can lead to friendships, collaborations, and support networks. By creating environments where people can come together and engage with each other without the profit motive in the way, third spaces will help reduce feelings of loneliness and social isolation, which are on the rise in many parts of the world.
  2. Encouraging Civic Engagement: Third spaces often serve as venues for community discussions, grassroots organizing, and public forums. These spaces make it easier for individuals to get involved in local issues, volunteer, or participate in civic activities. When people feel connected to their community through shared spaces, they are more likely to take an active role in improving it. It provides a way for their voices to be heard and not ignored by those who hold power or hold public office.
  3. Promoting Diversity and Inclusion: In an increasingly polarized and divided world, third spaces can help bridge divides between people. These are the places where people from different backgrounds, professions, and viewpoints can come together on neutral ground to discuss important topics that matter to the community. In inclusive third spaces, everybody is welcome to partake, and everyone has an equal opportunity to participate, which can break down barriers between us and foster mutual understanding.
  4. Enhancing Mental and Physical Well-Being: The act of simply being around other people in a relaxed, welcoming environment can have significant benefits for one’s mental health. Third spaces offer a respite from the pressures of work and home life where you are always expected to play a role and do your part. Being able to provide people opportunities for recreation, relaxation, and emotional support away from those other two spaces is key to a healthier life. Physical third spaces like parks and recreation centers also encourage healthy lifestyles through outdoor activities and sports that everyone is welcome to join and use.
  5. Revitalizing Local Economies: Vibrant third spaces can breathe life into local economies regardless of whether it’s for a town or a city. When communities invest in their parks, cultural centers, and other public spaces, they attract traffic and interest to surrounding businesses. Small businesses like cafés, bookstores, and boutiques often thrive when they are near popular third spaces, creating a positive economic ripple effect.

In today’s disconnected age, the need to revive third spaces is essential for building healthier, more connected communities, which are lacking in many towns and cities these days. These ‘third spaces’, which are neither at home nor at work, provide crucial opportunities for socialization, civic engagement, and personal well-being.

By reimagining and reinvesting in community cafés, public libraries, parks, cultural centers, co-working spaces, and even new types of third spaces, we can restore the fabric of community life that is increasingly being frayed. In a time when loneliness and polarization are rampant, third spaces offer a powerful antidote—one that is more important than ever in the 2020s. Reviving these spaces is not just a nostalgic pursuit; it is a necessary step toward a more inclusive, resilient, and vibrant society.

Don’t Let Yourself Be Gaslighted

“There are numerous ways to combat gaslighting, but it is key to make sure you don’t let yourself be gaslighted, even when it is by people you are close to or have grown to trust or admire.”

‘Gaslighting’, a term that was originally derived from the 1944 film titled, “Gaslight,” is sadly an increasingly common form of psychological manipulation, where one person tries to make another person doubt their own reality, memory, or perceptions.

This manipulative kind of behavior can have severe consequences on an individual’s mental health and overall well-being. Recognizing and combating ‘gaslighting’ is crucial in maintaining one’s psychological integrity and emotional health. There are numerous ways to combat gaslighting, but it is key to make sure you don’t let yourself be gaslighted, even when it is by people you are close to or have grown to trust or admire.

Gaslighting itself can occur in various scenarios, from personal relationships to workplace environments and even on an entire societal level. Here are some common examples that I would like to highlight where ‘gaslighting’ can take place and whom can be responsible for it occurring:

  1. Personal Relationships: In intimate relationships or romantic partnerships, a partner might persistently deny events that have happened, downplay your feelings, or blame you for their own abusive or manipulative behavior. For example, they might say to you, “You’re too sensitive” or “You never take things seriously.” “That never happened; you’re imagining things.” Gaslighting in any relationship at any time is a toxic combination and can cause some long-lasting trauma, regret, or depression.
  2. Family Dynamics: Within families, parents might gaslight children by denying past abusive behavior or shifting the blame onto the child for what the parent did to them. Phrases like, “I never said that”, “I never did that to you”, “I knew you couldn’t do it,” or “You’re just making things up to get attention”, “How would you know? You’re just a child.” are commonly used in terms of gaslighting.
  3. Workplace Conditioning: In professional settings, a supervisor could deny promises they had previously made to an employee or group of employees. They could also undermine their employees’ performance and contributions by taking credit for it themselves or by taking advantage of the work you do without rewarding it later or acknowledging its positive impact. Comments made by a supervisor or fellow employee could be such as, “I never approved that project”, “I did not give you permission to do that”, “That presentation was all my idea”, “You did not do as much as I did” or “You must be mistaken, that wasn’t your idea” can make employees question their own competence, proficiency, and memory when it comes to the work they do for their fellow employees or employer.
  4. Societal Distrust: Gaslighting can also be seen on a broader societal scale where media heads, activists, or political figures deny facts or historical events that did occur, leading to widespread confusion and distrust among the public because leaders of those institutions are meant to be trusted but since they lie or deceive, the institution itself is distrusted and loses its standing in society.

Gaslighting has become increasingly prevalent in today’s digital age, where misinformation and manipulation are rampant combined with seemingly never-ending ways to engage people to disbelieve what they perceive or create a different reality than what we are used to. Social media platforms, where information can be easily distorted, manipulated and spread endlessly, provides fertile ground for gaslighting on a mass scale. Politicians, national leaders, and public figures often engage in gaslighting tactics to sway public opinion or deflect criticism to win support for their agendas and policies. When it comes to personal relationships, the anonymity, the rapid pace, and the sheer distance provided by online communication can embolden individuals to gaslight others without facing immediate repercussions because of how they hide who they are and what they really believe by gaslighting you instead.

Avoiding being gaslighted is not easy especially in the modern era where we are constantly exposed to other people’s worldviews and are made to take in rapid streams of information instantaneously. Being able to avoid gaslighting involves the following steps in no order, which can help you avoid these manipulative tactics that harm your mental health:

  1. Educate Yourself: Understanding what gaslighting is, where it can come from, and recognizing the signs of when it is happening is the first step in protecting yourself. Familiarize yourself with common gaslighting tactics and how they manifest in different situations in different areas of our life.
  2. Trust Your Perception: Keep a journal to document events and conversations where you think gaslighting could have occurred. It won’t always be the case, but this approach can help reinforce your memory and provide tangible evidence of what happened, making it harder for someone to distort your reality because you’re able to jog your memory on what happened, what you did, and what was their reaction or behavior about it.
  3. Set Boundaries: It’s vital to establish clear boundaries with those who exhibit gaslighting behavior even if they are close friends or family. Make it known that manipulative behavior is unacceptable to you and that you will not engage with it regardless of if they think they are gaslighting you or not. It is better to preserve your own mental health and wellness even if it harms the friendship or relationship temporarily.
  4. Seek Support: Confide in friends, family, or a mental health professional who can provide an outside perspective and validate your experiences as an impartial participant in what happened. Support networks from people you trust and can confide in are essential in maintaining your sense of reality and self-worth. Never seek support from someone you found out was gaslighting you or attempting to gaslight you. You must hold your standards high because if they did it once, chances are good that they will do it to you again.
  5. Practice Self-Care: To protect your own health and wellness, you should continue to engage in daily or weekly activities that bolster your mental and emotional health. Exercise, meditation, sports, and hobbies with trusted friends and family members can help reduce stress and enhance your resilience against manipulation and other gaslighting tactics.
  6. Assert Your Reality: Calmly assert your version of events without getting drawn into a debate. If you can give examples surrounding what you were doing at the time or provide proof or evidence to back up your point, it doesn’t hurt to do so. Most impactful will be to use phrases with the accuser such as, “I remember it differently”, “I wrote down what happened and have proof to share with you” or “I don’t agree with your version” can help you maintain your stance without escalating the conflict further.

We know that there are ways to avoid gaslighting, but how do we combat it in different ways to give ourselves options to get out of the situation or to remedy the effects of it happening to us.

  1. Direct Confrontation: If safe to do so with the person(s), address the gaslighter(s) directly. Use specific examples and “I” statements to express how their behavior affects you. For example, “I feel confused when you say that because it contradicts what I remember” or “I am upset when you don’t believe what I tell you was how it happened to me.”
  2. Detach Emotionally: Emotionally distancing yourself from the gaslighter can reduce their impact on you or ability to affect your mental state. Do your best to practice this form of detachment by recognizing that their actions reflect their own issues, and not yours. Their problem is not your problem, and you did not do anything wrong.
  3. Seek Professional Help: Therapy or talking to a professional psychiatrist can be invaluable in recovering from the effects of gaslighting. A therapist can help you rebuild your self-esteem and develop strategies to deal with manipulative behavior if you experiencing it happening again to you.
  4. Limit Physical Contact or Distance Yourself: In some cases, the best course of action is to limit or sever contact with the gaslighter. This is especially true in toxic relationships where the gaslighting is severe and persistent. It is always better to get that person out of your life or to never see him or her again if it gets to be too much to deal with their behavior.

Gaslighting is a deeply harmful form of psychological abuse that can have long-lasting effects on someone’s mental health. It erodes your self-esteem, creates self-doubt, and can lead to anxiety, depression, and a host of other issues. The pervasive nature of gaslighting in our modern era, amplified by endless forms of digital communication, misinformation, and coarsening societal dynamics, makes it a significant issue to address for people everywhere.

Recognizing gaslighting as a negative behavior and taking steps to combat it is essential for maintaining your psychological well-being. By educating yourself, trusting your perceptions, setting boundaries, seeking professional support, practicing self-care, and potentially limiting or ending contact with gaslighters, you can protect yourself from this serious form of manipulation. Ultimately, preventing, addressing, or combating gaslighting is not just about preserving one’s mental health; it is about fostering healthier, stronger, more authentic relationships and societal environments where care for one another, truth, and trust can flourish equally.

Remembering the Basics of Civility

“Beyond these tenets, I think it is important to remember the basics of civility in terms of everyday behavior, which is about establishing boundaries, using good manners, and fully recognizing the other person or people you are dealing with.”

In any society, there’s a thin line between civilization and barbarism. When we are civil with each other, when we say what we mean and when we do what we say, we will be better off for having maintained the basic standards of civility. Without civility, there is no civilization to come from that.

There are many forms of civility and I have written already at length about the need to be honest, truthful, be emotionally mature, and to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Beyond these tenets, I think it is important to remember the basics of civility in terms of everyday behavior, which is about establishing boundaries, using good manners, and fully recognizing the other person or people you are dealing with.

In addition to the rise of anti-social behavior since the pandemic and perhaps on the decline even beforehand, there has also been a lack of civility and poor behavior in public whether it’s with colleagues, strangers, or just another person who you are passing by on the street. Some of the behaviors that reflect a lack of overall civility include not greeting someone formally or informally, not making eye contact, lack of a handshake upon greeting that person(s), and perhaps what would be the most basic is the ability to say ‘hello’ or ‘good morning / afternoon / evening’ when you see someone or meet someone.

Basic greetings form the backbone of any civil society and if you cannot take the time to look up from your phone or laptop or to take 5-10 seconds to acknowledge that person in the language that you both speak, then it makes me wonder if civilized behavior is on a permanent decline, rather than a temporary one. Greetings are more than just communication but it’s a way of ‘seeing’ that person beyond them just being in relative proximity to you. When you say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ or acknowledge them with a formal ‘good morning’ or ‘good afternoon’ in English or in the equivalent of another language, you will make that person feel better. You’re letting them know that you know they are there, that you recognize who they are, and appreciate the fact that you get to see them in some small way.

I would say that in addition to greetings, having good posture, standing up straight, walking with your head held high, not slouching, or putting your feet up on the desk or in front of the person sitting across from you, there are all common ways of maintaining civility and not being disrespectful to yourself and other people around you. It shows not just a lack of respect for yourself but to other people when you cannot maintain eye contact or look them in the eye.

A handshake that is never given when greeting someone now or is lackluster in its firmness or strength also shows a lack of social awareness or respect for having neglected it. If you know the person well enough, giving a hug is not a weird or out of place action and shows that you care for the other person to let them know that. Standing up straight, making eye contact, greeting the person respectfully, giving them your full attention, etc. are all necessary actions to maintain civility before diving into the deeper aspects of maintaining a civilization or a society that is not on the decline in terms of its overall behavior patterns or standards.

Having respect for another person also means getting up for an injured / disabled person, an elderly person, or a pregnant woman if you are on a bus, train, or other public transportation to let them sit down instead of you. Holding the door open for another person is also polite, kind, and a sign that you are not just thinking of yourself and are able to think of other people who need a little bit of help, especially if they could be your neighbor or need aid if they have heavy groceries or may have their hands full. If you really want to maintain classy and dignified behavior, pouring a drink for another person or proposing a toast in their honor or even pulling the chair out for a loved one or a relative is a great way to maintain the civility of our collective behavior that keeps our civilization or general society functioning.

Nobody also likes to have their time wasted regardless of the appointment or meeting whether it’s an interview, a date, a social engagement, or a dinner / lunch outing. Make sure you are on time or a few minutes early, and while this is not universal across cultures, I do think being on time and keeping your word allows for societal advancement and for civilized behavior to flourish. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being 5-10-15 minutes late here and there, but if you don’t apologize or acknowledge your tardiness with even a basic excuse, you are letting the basic values and standards of a society degrade a bit with your lack of awareness.

You may not think these basics of societal civility matter, but they do, and I’ve noticed there has been a general decline in this area since the pandemic and even earlier. It does not cost you much to observe basic greetings, observe social graces that have been around for centuries, think of other people such as the elderly, the disabled, and the pregnant before yourself, and to do what you say, mean what you say, and to be honest and forthright.            

Being reliable, being accountable, and holding yourself to a higher standard is important as well to maintaining civilization and improving one’s society. However, if you do not have the basics or the fundamentals down first, it won’t matter one bit. You must constantly be reminding yourself to observe these social attitudes, graces, and behaviors that have marked the upward trend of human civilization since ancient times.

Without making accommodations for others or thinking of others when it comes to our own behavior, we will be headed on a downward slope for which there might not be a way out from in the future. Please again remember your basics of civility when you’re in public but also in private too. Uphold the basic standards of good behavior and make sure you reinforce those kinds of standards with the people in your lives and with the stranger on the street too.