Category: effort

What It Really Means to Be a True Friend

“Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.”

People tend to throw the word ‘friend’ around a lot especially when you may be desperate or wanting to have a new ‘friend’ come into your life. It is natural to want to build rapport with someone and to do so quickly. It is good to have someone want to spend time with you and get to know you are. When you are short on friends or when friends you know have moved on to a different town, city, or country, you want to work on replacing those lost or far away friendships that you used to have.

Especially as you get older, friends move away, get married, have children, and it can be hard to keep those friendships the same or keep them alive in a meaningful away. Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.

Unless the bonds you have are broken or ruptured due to any kind of factor, which does happen in life, you will still have your friends to pick up the connection again despite factor of distance or life circumstances. A friendship that has been established for years or decades doesn’t ever fully go away but you both must work to keep in touch to keep the flame alive into the future. Friendships do fade away, and you or the other person may not be getting what you need to keep it going. It can be sad to let go of a friendship especially when you invest the time, the emotions, and the money spent to keep it alive, but that is just part of life.

We have a tendency in American culture to form friendships at a dizzying pace or want to have someone as a friend quickly to ensure our own need for popularity or for social status. Other cultures tend to be slower in establishing those tight social connections or friendships, but once you do, you have a friend for life, or you have a true friend under a separate kind of category that should be reserved for a few friends and not for many connections or acquaintances.

Yes, we do throw around the word ‘friend’ a lot and too quickly. However, you should be wary of entrusting people who you consider ‘friends’ without feeling out how much that friendship entails. When I think of the meaning of a ‘true friend’, it is deeper than getting drinks every now and then or meeting up to play a sport or do an activity, it is someone who you can share both the good and the bad in your life and they can do the same with you. You don’t have to reveal your whole life story or be exhaustive about it, but a true friend is someone for whom you can be vulnerable with. A true friend won’t judge you for looking for their help, advice, or let you vent to them every now and then.

There are also several kind and thoughtful gestures a friend would do for you whereas an acquaintance or social connection would not. When you need to move and you’re free to lend a helping hand with the furniture, that is a true friend in action. If you need a ride to and from the airport and they don’t mind it even when it’s a little out of the way, that is a true friend. If you need a place to sleep or ‘crash’, and you would rather not splurge for a hotel room, a true friend will offer you their coach or a spare bedroom.

Now, there are two sides to any friendship so keep in mind that if they are willing to do that for you, you should try to do the same for them if the need arises. It is not being transactional but it’s remembering that any true friendship needs effort from both people, and it is good to look out for another especially in an increasingly isolated and technologically driven world. Our phone or our computer or our AI chat tool will never be a replacement for a true friend who is a real person, one whom you can share stories with, help each other with advice, and lend a hand to you when you are in need. Now, you can still drink, eat, play sports, or hang out with a ‘friend’, but if that friend isn’t someone who you can confide in, discuss life and its happenings, or be there for each other, it’s not a deep friendship or can be a bit shallow.

True friendships in my view take years or even decades to foster so while it’s good to try to make new friends, don’t neglect the older friendships you have that can be revived or don’t be too quick to trust someone without giving the friendship time to bloom and see if you both are compatible in the long-run. I would rather have five ‘true friends’ than a hundred or more ‘friends’ who don’t really know me, care about me, or for whom we are close enough to help each other out or just look out for each other.

Friendships are like relationships, though platonic in nature, they are just as important to foster in a healthy manner and that both people are contributing to it. You can start off just as acquaintances but if you’re putting in the time, trying on each side, and growing deeper as friends over the months and years, instead of staying in the shallow subjects, you really are building the ‘true friendships’ that survive time, distance, and other challenges.

Even if you’re married, or have children, or are busy at work, you also need friends and healthy friendships so keep trying to create them, build them, and be a good friend to others in your life. Remember to have quality friendships over the quantity of them as having a few friends for life is much better than have 100 friends who will drop you in a few months because you couldn’t keep up with their lifestyle or their demands or their ‘image.’ True friendship is missing someone when they’re gone and looking forward to the day when you can rekindle the friendship anew.

Be Bold and Take Chances in Life

“Nothing will ever be given to you on a plate whether that’s a new job, a pay raise, acceptance to your preferred college, or achieving a new professional certificate. You have more say over your life than you think with the effort you put into it.”

I want everyone reading this article to succeed in life. I want you to make good choices and not be to rash in your decision making as well. However, to foster new opportunities, you have to take the initiative, be bold, and take chances to really get ahead in this world. Nothing will ever be given to you on a plate whether that’s a new job, a pay raise, acceptance to your preferred college, or achieving a new professional certificate. You have more say over your life than you think with the effort you put into it.

Nowadays, you can’t be too complacent especially with the pace at which we are going through life. Time speeds up the older you get, and you have to make the most with the time given to you. You must be bold, take some chances, and see if it pays off. You don’t want to go all-in per say and take too much risk on to achieve a goal, but you also don’t want to never try at all so be sure to balance your desire to take chances with your need to preserve your livelihood. Going all-in without doing your research, not knowing your limits, or being unprepared is a recipe for disaster and that is the opposite of being bold, it is being foolhardy instead.

Calculated risk-taking is what you should be striving for in your life and to prepare yourself to succeed in whatever you choose to pursue to give yourself the best shot at success. Being bold is not about going all-in with no resources or preparation but it’s rather about taking a shot where you feel as if you have a realistic chance of succeeding. You should always think about what I am getting out of this pursuit, is it worth the risk, and what happens if I succeed or fail? You want to make sure that you can bounce back if it doesn’t turn out well and you still have the means to try again.

To cite a personal example from my own life, I prepared myself for the project management professional (PMP) certification for months, took multiple preparatory exams, enrolled in an intensive course, and took evenings and weekends to study the exam material. It was a good strategy because I didn’t go all-in without preparing myself first and reminding myself that if I fail, it’s not the end of the world and I can try again.

I also thought if it was worth the investment and if passing the exam and getting certified would benefit me in my own professional pursuits. I did the analysis before spending the money and the time to get ready for the certification exam and to go through the steps also to qualify to sit for the exam. Was it easy? No, not at all, but I’m glad I took the time to take and pass the exam because I knew that this kind of chance was worth it and would benefit me in the long run.

You will find that to be bold in life, you may have to suffer to achieve or do something truly great. Whether that is starting your first business, applying for that dream job, moving to a new city, or just asking that girl or guy out who you’ve been meaning to talk to but haven’t yet. Doing anything worthwhile in life is far from easy and often will be painful and difficult. However, the alternative of doing nothing, never trying at anything you want to do, and going through your life thinking of ‘what if?’ is no way to live your life.

I am so adamant about this topic because I’ve been through a lot of these situations I’m describing, and it required a lot of boldness to do it. You have to be bold often to get what you want out of life, especially since nothing is going to be handed to you. Make sure you take measured risks and think before you take upon a challenge as well. Boldness isn’t thoughtlessness or recklessness. Rather, it’s about thinking about what challenges you wish to take on, being realistic about your success chances, and coming up with a plan to give yourself the best shot at being successful.

Whatever dreams, goals, or ambitions you currently have, think about what it would take to make them a reality. Come up with a few steps on how to achieve your goal(s), eventually formulate a plan with further details, and then execute to the best of your ability. Sometimes, your bold decisions will be more instantaneous such as networking on the fly, asking someone out by introducing yourself and being vulnerable, or pitching your supervisor at your job about why you deserve that promotion in a one-on-one conversation.

It’s better to look back on your life and think of ‘how it happened’ rather than ‘why didn’t it happen?’ You want to live life with fewer regrets as you get older and avoid ‘what if?’ in your thoughts as much as possible. That is why I stress to you about the importance of being bold, taking an action, and working hard on what you really want out of life. If you fail, at least you gave it the best effort that you could, and the next time you try, it will be less painful, you’ll have more confidence and you’ll likely have a better chance of success the more times you take the initiative. Good luck and remember to be bold!

Avoiding Analysis Paralysis

“We also often must think if the choice or decision we make is ‘perfect’ but to put it bluntly, no choice or decision is ever perfect.”

With the rapid pace of change and constant streams of information coming at us each day, it leads a lot of us to overthink decisions and choices to the point of inaction. There are too many choices we have to make, sometimes big and sometimes small, but we can easily get overwhelmed by the fear of making the wrong decision or if it’s better to avoid deciding altogether. We also often must think if the choice or decision we make is ‘perfect’ but to put it bluntly, no choice or decision is ever perfect.

Everyday, we are faced with hundreds or even thousands of choices such as choosing what to eat, what to wear, to what to do with your life, career, or school choices. Major life decisions should always take precedence in terms of your focus and your analysis, but you have to make the decision at some point regarding career, school, investments, and relationships. You must be able to prioritize effectively the decisions you have to make in the order of what’s more urgent and what’s most important. Smaller choices should deserve some time, but they should take away from the big choices we have to make day in and day out. Prioritization, knowing when to limit the time spent on a choice, and embracing choices or decisions that are ‘good enough’ over ‘perfect’ will help prevent you from falling into an ‘analysis paralysis.’

I believe that ‘analysis paralysis’ is more common than ever due to several factors. We have too much information and it’s overloading our thought process because it’s seemingly endless with regards to the Internet and it’s harder than ever to filter out good information from bad. The fear of missing out (FOMO) has us thinking that we have endless choices in life rather than a few immediate choices we should focus on that affect our lives.

Social media makes it seem like we have endless time or endless options to consider but we must reframe it as these are the choices I can make that are within my control and for which directly impact me. Society tends to reward those people who seem to have made the best decisions even when we know we don’t know the full story behind the choice because social media and the Internet don’t give us everything regarding how a person decided or made a choice to begin with.

Too many choices each day of life, which society can thrust upon us all at once, is a modern problem especially regarding how many streaming services, career paths, educational options, and other non-essential choices that flood our attention spans. While it’s important to make choices, you should not waste more time than you need analyzing every option out there because it would be a waste of your time.

As I mentioned earlier, to avoid analysis paralysis, you have to choose only on what you can control or have an impact on your life to decide upon immediately. You got to set time limits on these decisions you can make and are relevant to your life at the time. There is also no such thing as a ‘perfect’ choice or decision and every decision we make has positives and negatives to it as well as unknown factors that we cannot foresee upon making the choice.

You should be identifying the key factors of the choice and what impacts it’ll have from making one choice or the other, but for which truly matters rather than analyzing what could be or should be without knowing what those unknowns may lead to. Identifying what truly matters and really impacts you day to day should be priority in your decision making and should be based on relevant information that is creditable and trustworthy too.

Taking small choices or decisions can make it easier as well to handle bigger decisions but both need to be happening in your life. You can’t ignore the big choices or the small choices and often they will need to be made at the same time or same day. Breaking down your decisions and the steps that lead to them will reduce the chances of you being overwhelmed by making them. Take the decision-making process one step at a time, especially for the big decisions, will make it less daunting and give you more confidence in how you analyze the choices you have.

Limit the amount of information you expose yourself to and make sure the information you get is trustworthy before making your choice or decision. There is too much information out there for every choice we could make in this information age so make sure you trust your sources, limit them to a handful, and try to analyze both sides of the choice without delaying it too much.

By recognizing what ‘analysis paralysis’ is, how often it can affect us in our daily lives due to living through the ‘information age’ and taking steps to overcoming this paralysis one choice or decision at a time, you can improve the quality of your life immensely. Go easy on yourself and try to make the best decisions you can with the best information you can get. We all make mistakes in our choices and our decisions because we’re human but it’s important also to learn from past mistakes and do the best we can each day we make a choice or decision.

Get Used to Rejection

“Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.”

Rejection is never enjoyable nor is it pleasant. It is something you always want to forget immediately and to bury it in the recesses of your brain, never to be thought of or remembered again. However, like death and taxes, I truly believe rejection is an inevitable part of life and it happens to everyone. We can never go through life being accepted for everything or being accepted by everyone. Because rejection is so much a part of our life, it is better to face it head on rather than try to hide from it or ignore it completely.

We never really like to address rejection or talk about when they happen. We often feel that reflects who we are rather than what the other person or job or opportunity is looking for. Sure, there are times where maybe we didn’t put the best foot forward or ace the interview or be able to show the best of ourselves to the person(s) considering us, but often, the rejection itself may be a factor of other circumstances beyond what kind of effort you put in or who you are as a person. Even if you get rejected, it’s not a wholesale rejection of who you are but rather there is incompatibility there to begin with or it just wasn’t going to work out in the long run.

It is very hard for us to predict what we will be accepted or rejected for. That fact makes it even more important for us to put ourselves out there even more because the more no’s you get, the likelier it is you’ll eventually get to the ‘yes.’ As the popular expression goes, “Practice makes perfect,” and I do believe it is necessary to face your rejections head on rather than to just get rejected once and then call it quits, never to go through it again. Giving up entirely should not be an option if you want it that badly and you should not be afraid to try again. Yes, rejection hurts and it stings for a while, but it is better for you to build your self-confidence up and shore up your self-esteem by trying than to go through life being afraid of it.

Getting used to rejection does not mean give up after getting the rejection. No, it means you must understand that rejections will happen but the more you try, the likelier it is you’ll find that job, that relationship, that big sale, etc. that you can be proud of after getting to that ‘yes.’ Being rejected is good for one’s ego in that it both keeps it in check and keeps you humble. Maybe you need to do things differently to get that acceptance or maybe work a bit harder or try something new after getting rejected.

You don’t give up, but you keep working at it, getting better, trying again, or even asking the person(s) who rejected you politely why the rejection happened. Asking about the rejection can be a bit sensitive but it doesn’t hurt to see why it wasn’t the right fit or place for you but if an answer isn’t forthcoming, you should just move on and try your efforts elsewhere.

I’m a New York Jets American football fan but I can’t help but think of the story about former New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, when it comes to a story about rejection. Multiple NFL teams chose other quarterbacks ahead of this Hall of Fame player and 198 players went ahead of him in the draft. They essentially rejected him as a quarterback and didn’t think he had it in him to lead their team to a Super Bowl. I’m sure this would have hurt Tom Brady quite a bit waiting for his name to be called. Expecting to be drafted and waiting through 198 players before you in a draft would have that effect on anyone. I’m sure Tom was discouraged but eventually, the New England Patriots took a chance on him and drafted him 199th in the sixth round.

This kind of rejection likely lit a fire under young Tom Brady especially when New England did not consider him at the time to be the kind of NFL quarterback and legend, he turned out to be. Tom did not let the rejection get to him from the other teams, but it motivated him even more to turn those rejections against those teams who did not think he was worth drafting. He worked harder than any other player on the roster, kept his body in better shape than any other quarterback, and put more time in the film room than many NFL veteran players.

The results speak for themselves today as Tom Brady is widely considered the greatest quarterback of all-time and won seven Super Bowl championships and multiple Most Valuable Player (MVP) awards during his 22-year career. Again, I wish the New York Jets had drafted him in the 1st round so we would be talking about how great of a Jets quarterback he was but rejection by my team led to the Patriots getting him later in the sixth round.

I hope that anecdote about Tom Brady, the Patriots former quarterback, will be a lesson for us all on how rejection, while painful and disappointing, can spur us to still be successful and achieve our goals elsewhere. We all are going to get rejected for something whether it’s a job opportunity, making a sale for our company, asking that cute girl or guy for a date with you, or even not being picked to go on a work trip or getting chosen last for the local kickball team. The key is to take it in stride, move on to another opportunity, continue to work hard, improve, and prove the doubters wrong, and to never, ever give up.

Rather than hide from a rejection, be ready to embrace and learn from it. As a child, we don’t know any better when it comes to rejection because it’s so new to us and it hurts the most, but when you’re an adult or even teenager, you should be used to it by now and it should be something that you’re able to handle in a mature manner. It’s never easy but living your life in a way where you avoid it at all costs is neither productive nor healthy. Next time you get rejected, take a deep breath, ask yourself if you put your best effort forward, see where you might have gone wrong or ask for an answer if feasible, and keep moving on and don’t look back. Rejections should serve to motivate you to be better, do better, and keep striving forwards to reaching your goals and not letting rejection stop you in your tracks. Get used to rejection because it’s a part of life, but it’s not our whole life.

Anatomy of a Scene – ‘The NZT-48 Pill’

How often have you thought about the possibility of taking one pill per each day that would maximize your brain’s full potential? With the movie ‘Limitless’ with Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro, this film poses the answer in the form of ‘NZT-48’, which can allow you to access everything you’ve read, heard, and learned without any true effort. This kind of wonder drug is purely fictional but many people in real life seek this kind of legal short cut nowadays whether it’s to focus, to lose weight, to improve memory, or to retain more information. In the film’s early scenes such as the one that introduce this magic pill’s effects, we get to see what kind of effects NZT-48 has on Eddie Moura, the main character.

This limitless pill is introduced as one that can improve focus, memory, knowledge retention, tidiness, and even make your intelligence that much more advanced especially after repeated usage. The scene that I would highlight shows just how effective it can be in multiple areas and how well the director shows how its daily usage turns a struggling writer into a financial tycoon and published author in just a week’s time.

The scene starts out with Eddie Moura taking the NZT-48 pill for the first time even though he knows it comes with risks and side effects. He asks, “worth the risk?” by breaking the fourth wall with the audience, and says in the narration, “what would you do?” It’s a pertinent question because due to how many months, years, or decades it takes to be successful naturally without any enhancements, supplements, or advantages, how many of us watching the scene would want to take the easy way out in life even if there were risks involved? It’s part of the reason why this scene is so powerful because we know Eddie will face consequences for using this pill eventually but as we are told, the benefits of the pill may outweigh the consequences at first making it a tempting magic pill.

Eddie’s changes start out small as his pupils dilate and he starts seeing the world much more clearly than before. He’s clear-headed, not anxious socially, able to think and act clearly, and is aware of his own personality traits that need improvement. He gets a haircut, builds his wardrobe with a stylist leather jacket, cleans up his messy apartment, and starts to exercise more frequently and seriously.

From there, Eddie, a struggling writer, finds “a surge of motivation” from the pill to finish the novel he had been failing to finish for years and writes it all in just a few days’ time. Eddie doesn’t stop at that monumental achievement as a new novelist. He learns to play the piano in just three days, becomes a master poker player knowing how to play the odds in his favor and winning a lot of money against the house, and becomes fluent in most languages just by casually listening to them as he goes on a daily run with the headphones playing different vocabulary for him to instantly memorize.

Eddie uses his newfound social and language skills to seduce a beautiful woman and begin to network and build relationships to put his newfound wealth to good use in the stock market. He explains key economic concepts to those around him, can hedge bets on the pharmaceutical industry (partly responsible for his NZT-48 usage), and flies to a far-off beach to enjoy drinks and food at a private mansion with some of his new friends.

These may be selfish desires on Eddie’s part, but he’s able to diagnose exactly what the medical issue is with his aunt and how to fix the issue. “I suddenly knew everything about everything.” He is able to not only explain complicated medical diagnoses but is able to explain complicated concepts simply enough for everybody else to agree and understand. Eddie has access to everything and a 100% capacity to do what he wishes with his life. He has no fears, no anxieties from taking the magic pill and can hold a conversation with anybody about anything.

However, towards the end of the scene, we start to see the drawbacks of this magic pill in how Eddie must keep moving forward or it’ll feel like he’s dying or suffering. We see this briefly in how he drives a Maserati at maximum speed much to the delight of his companion, but for which he has no conception of how dangerously fast he’s going and what the drawbacks can be of his new heart-stopping lifestyle. “I felt like I was going to explode…”

“Anybody ever jump?” Eddie says to his newfound friends on a massive cliff overlooking the ocean. “Are you crazy?”, one woman asks of him given it’s a few hundred meters above sea level. Eddie’s heart is pulsating and while he’s lost his fear including of heights, he’s beginning to see that he can’t pull back on the adrenaline, the curiosity, and the sheer exhilaration the pill is giving him. The pill does have a side effect and it can be a deadly one of not being able to slow down and to live life normally. Eddie constantly must be upping himself and creating bigger and bigger goals for him to accomplish.

We see this play out in the rest of the film as Eddie seeks to become more wealthy, famous, and powerful with the help of his magic pill. As much as the audience sees how exciting and fulfilling Eddie’s life had become since using NZT-48, the film is a warning against how taking the short cut of a ‘magic pill’ or a quick and easy fix can come with devastating consequences. It is a warning on how taking the easy way out may feel good in the short run, it can have side effects that can bring us down as a result.

This scene is shot very well and is rememberable because it shows just how much potential we all have and it’s not from a pill like NZT-48 as it comes instead from within us. We may not be able to write a book in a few days or learn the piano or be a star poker player like Eddie, but we do have the discipline, abilities, and motivation within us to improve ourselves even if it takes longer in the form of months, years, or decades. We can all learn to exercise more consistently, learn a new language quicker with consistent practice, and be able to improve our style, our conversational skills, and build our finances and our talents over a period of time.

Eddie Moura may have needed NZT-48 to reach the heights of human achievement, but the film’s message, especially in this scene, is that while the ‘magic pill’ is fictional, we can strive to achieve more through our own discipline, consistency, and hard work. We may not be as good as Eddie at everything or be able to be as accomplished as quickly, but this scene does show how with consistent effort, hard work, and beliefs, we can reach our own pinnacle as Eddie did.

It’s a fictional scene and movie about one man’s insatiable desire to use this ‘magic pill’ repeatedly to be the man he always dreamed of being without any regard for what this addiction can cause harm to him and others in his life. It is a cautionary story for each of us that while he was able to achieve great things much more quickly, it did cost him a lot as a result. We ourselves can achieve almost as many great things through our own natural abilities and talents, without a ‘magic pill’ needed, and not have to deal with the consequences of using the shortcut taken by Eddie Moura because of that. To be as ‘Limitless’ as possible, you need to work as hard as you can as consistently as you can to do the best that you can.

Why You Should Take The Initiative

“A lot of times in life, things won’t be handed to you, opportunities won’t just present themselves to you, and relationships or friendships don’t just form out of thin air.”

A lot of times in life, things won’t be handed to you, opportunities won’t just present themselves to you, and relationships or friendships don’t just form out of thin air. You must be making the effort more often than not to take the initiative to do all those things I just mentioned. It is not easy and can cause you rejection, stress, and even heartache, but if you just expect your life to just progress on its own without putting in the work, you will be sorely mistaken.

Making that initial effort will make the difference as you devote 80-90 or even 100% to get the return you were looking for. You may expect others at work, at school, or in your personal life to meet your half-way or 50/50 after a while but you may find that it’s a running theme in that instead of finding it as being equal or meeting them halfway, it’s likely to be more 60-40 or 70-30 in terms of your effort versus theirs. Now, that does not mean you should be taking the initiative all the time to ask for that promotion, or be open to developing a friendship, or seeking a new relationship but you’ll be better off from driving the effort rather than by taking a backseat.

Having more of the effort initially won’t just make an impression on the person but it will also develop your abilities, your relationships, and your professional / educational future more so than if you had made less of the effort. You should be conscious that the initiative you are taking is worth it and that the time you are putting in gets the result(s) that you are looking for. Your hard work, effort, and perseverance should lead to the other party putting in some conscious effort after a while. If it is just a one-way street in terms of that effort months or years later, I think that relationship, job, or friendship is likely to be doomed to fail.

It would not be fair or just for you to be constantly taking the initiative especially when that person isn’t reciprocal at all or even 30-40% of the way in a friendship or relationship. If you are giving all of the effort and feel like you’re not getting anything back from it, you may be dealing with an ‘emotional vampire’, who you may enjoy their company and like them but the fact that you are putting in all the work to keep things going and them not doing anything to reciprocate is not only a form of manipulation but it is also a sign of someone who only wants to take advantage of you.

They may lack certain qualities including introspection or self-awareness so they may not think they are at fault but if you believe that nothing is going to change, your time and efforts aren’t being valued adequately, and you are not getting as much in return from them, you may need to cut them off or just take a break from being with them or working for them. I encourage proactivity, being extroverted, sociable, and wanting to take on new goals, but if it is draining you and the results professionally or the relations personally you get as a result are not satisfying from that 60-40 or 70-30 set up, it may be best to move on to another person or opportunity.

To cite some examples, if you are good at reaching out to friends or acquaintances and just checking in to see how they are doing or even making the effort to see them and spend time together, that’s a positive initiative to take and shows you care about keeping that relationship going even if it had fizzled out a bit. However, if you feel like you are constantly the one making the calls, setting up the plans, or checking in on them, and they are not doing the same to you on that 30-70 or 40-60 balance that I mentioned, then it may be best to cut back on making the initiative there. If they truly cared about you, they would seek to make plans to see you by their own initiative or they would call to check in every now and then to see how you have been doing. Again, you should not be doing that all the time and if you find that it is becoming a pattern with that person, it may be best to stop seeing them so much since it looks like more of a one-sided friendship or relationship rather than a balanced one.

Another example professionally would be if you’re looking to boost your career and would like to learn new skills, then you should take that initiative with a training or a workshop or a conference that can make you more valuable to your employer. Similarly, if you take it upon yourself at work to learn a new skill by taking courses or attending seminars or providing trainings to others, it should be recognized not only to develop your career but to also further yourself in your role with better compensation or to be promoted to a new role because of the skills / abilities you acquired. If you take the time to volunteer, to be trained, to train, and to become a better worker, your employer or company should realize that it is also not a one-way street so there should be a proper recognition of your having taken the initiative to be more valuable to the firm in question.

However, if you find that after multiple trainings, skills developed, or competencies improved upon, that you are not getting the desired career promotion or compensatory boost, it may be that your initiative, while recognized, is not being formally appreciated. You made the most of the opportunities given but the other party involved doesn’t seem to recognize the new value or abilities you can provide. In this kind of situation, it may be best to start looking elsewhere professionally with those new proficiencies in your work to find a firm, company, or organization who will do their best to meet you halfway or maybe 40-60 so that you know that they care about you staying with them into the future and that your presence is both valued and appreciated, which is actually shown in different ways, a promotion, a raise, or otherwise.

Personally or professionally, you should consistently be looking to take action or initiative to improve your life in either way. However, it should not give the other party free reign to not give anything back in return or to provide their own initiatives or actions for you to take part in after they start it up. If you invite your friend to a barbecue, hopefully they’ll reciprocate in the future by having you over for a birthday party. If you do a skills workshop for a week to improve your competency at work, maybe your company or firm can reward you with a promotion to apply those new skills you picked up. It’s not always 50-50 in life and you may have to do most of the work, especially at the beginning of a new job or friendship. However, if it is you who is giving 100% and them putting in 0% in return on a consistent basis without the other party realizing it, it’s a toxic kind of relationship and you should be cutting ties with that person or entity as soon as possible.

Why Is Having Willpower Important ?

Willpower is a key trait that has an immense effect on our daily lives. Without its presence, we are often at the whim of short-term pleasure, gratification, and sustenance. However, while it is not a trait that is equally shared among each of us, it can be built up over time by achieving bigger and bigger goals. The key thing with having willpower is that you have to start small and work upwards to really make a big impact in your life. Depending upon what goal or result you are trying to achieve, you have to set your willpower to be in line with that timeline to achieve it.

For example, if I want to become a consistent runner to become healthier, should I start out one day with a five-mile run of less than an hour? No, because it’s not necessary and you’ll often suffer for setting your sights too high. If you’re just starting out with it, it’s best to build up your willpower over time by building up your capacity and your progress. Having long-term willpower takes short-term success and this example is no different really from others.

If I am just starting out with running, I don’t go for five miles at first and almost an hour of running. You want to start small and build up to your final goal of five miles. It may take you a month or two to reach it, but you will be satisfied knowing that you got out of the house and achieved something. Perhaps in the first week, you ran once for ten minutes and it was a little over a mile within your neighborhood. That is something to be proud of! You need that initial spark to keep the flame within you rising over time.

Building up your willpower requires incremental change that is often measured and compared with your results getting better and better over time. After that first week, maybe you run twice the second week and run each time for 15 minutes for 1 ½ miles. Then, by the third and fourth week, you build up to three times a week for about 20 minutes. By the end of the first month, you should get to about the halfway point or more by running a couple of times per week for about a half an hour.

Sometimes, your goals such as running five miles may take a month, three months, or even a year. Everybody is different but having a basic sense of willpower will help launch your goals forward and keep you on a path where you are changing yourself a bit at a time. Thinking yourself as a failure for not reaching your given goal after a few weeks, a month, or even a couple of months is immensely counterproductive. Each week, you want to be making strides to build up your willpower as a muscle that is constantly flexed out to become stronger over time.

Consistency is key for becoming better with willpower and it also comes with exercising restraint. You have to be aware also of the consequences of your actions ahead of time. Eating chocolate ice cream before bed might feel really good in the short-term but you might not be able to fall asleep that easily and wake up the next day feeling hydrated and groggy. You know it feels really good to take out your phone when you’re out with friends to get a small dopamine hit of attention but you know you might be disappointing the people you’re out with and consciously decide to keep that phone in your pocket or purse.

Having good willpower, in my opinion, takes both consistency and awareness. You have to be consistent in building it up over time like you would with your muscles by working out at the gym. The second part is a lot more difficult in that you have to be aware of the consequences of your actions when you fail to exercise your willpower as you would normally. You also should not be too hard on yourself when building up your willpower. There will be times when you fail, when you get discouraged, when you feel like giving up but don’t.

Give yourself time to decompress, to relax, and to think about how you can improve with it. On those days you fail, think consciously about why it is you failed and how you can succeed in the future. You don’t have to be striving to be better 100% of the time with your will but if you can put in more than average effort over time, then you will definitely see positive results. When you commit yourself to a goal, stay at it and realize that consistent action and knowledge of the consequences of doing nothing will help see you forward.

Perhaps most importantly, find those family members and friends willing to support you with whatever you’re going to do. If you have a positive goal for yourself and you want their support, they should definitely be behind you and giving you words of encouragement. If they want to track your progress with you, then they should be able to do so to hold you accountable. Without pressuring you too much or faulting you for coming up short, please make sure that they are behind you for the right reasons. If you want to better yourself in some way and reach your goals by improving your willpower, they should want that for you and not judge you for making that your personal prerogative.

Willpower is important for a number of reasons but the main one is because it is the key to unlocking your full potential. It all starts with your mind and your decision to change something about yourself. Exercising your willpower is definitely like exercising your muscles. You have to do it consistently and with good effort to start achieving noticeable results. You have to be aware of what your final goal is and to strive towards reaching it. Even if you fall short, you can take pride in knowing that you are now better off than you were a few weeks ago, a few months ago, or even a few years ago. You can see that your willpower is improving when you start to see incremental progress in where you are at as opposed to where you were when you started. Each conscious effort we do each day takes some amount of willpower and that is why it is so important to improve upon.

Whether it is going to the gym, having a healthier diet, learning a new language, taking better care of your home or apartment, willpower is a key part of achieving any of these measurable goals. Without exercising your willpower, you will not go anywhere with these practical goals. You have to be willing to sacrifice some short-term pleasures to achieve these long-term results. You may have to cut a few people out of your life as well if they are not supportive of your goals or actively preventing you from reaching them. You also may find that your own identity will change because of your newfound habits but that I believe is a good thing as we cannot stay stagnant throughout our lives and must always be moving forward.

Why Do We Read?

We often hear the phrase in school that “Reading is fundamental.” Maybe it is our parents, our teachers, or our friends who play the biggest influence on us when it comes to imparting the wisdom of how important it is to read and to read a lot. I remember taking trips to the school library when I was younger to pick out a book and read during recess or after school if I were to borrow one. Sometimes, my classmates and I would go to book fairs to buy a few books for cheap where they would be different genres including action, adventure, history, science fiction, etc. I always looked forward to these book fairs or to go to the library and I was lucky enough to go to schools where reading was encouraged and how it was part of the curriculum. This freedom to pick out books to rent or to buy and to choose what, when, and how to read is one of the fundamental joys of life. However, even in our modern age, I find that reading books is not emphasized nearly as enough as it should.

While we have access to more information than ever before in more ways than ever before, there are still disappointing statistics when it comes to how much the average American is reading books. According to Pew Research, a quarter of American adults have not read a book in electronic or physical form in the past year, either in finishing part of a book or finishing the whole of it. Even with the rise of electronic books such as Amazon Kindle, audiobooks such as Audible, and the continuance of the printed book form, there is still a sizable part of the population who choose not to read books.

It is important to note that you cannot force someone to read books or to acquire knowledge through the written form, but any society does have the responsibility to give its citizens the chance and opportunity to read books at low to no cost. In order to do this, it is important to foster a great sense of importance surrounding books and the acquiring of knowledge through that medium from a very young age. Every child should have access to discounted or free books so that they learn to love reading whatever the subject may be. I was lucky enough to have access through my school, the local public library, or through being assigned books to read by teachers who cared. Every young person should be able to access the same opportunity to read and to acquire knowledge in that way without barriers.

Reading should be a fundamental right and not a luxury. To build a better society, fostering a love of reading plays a critical yet underrated role. At our core, most of us are curious about the world and we can learn so much about it if we have access to books. Reading can be quite powerful in several ways in that it expands our comprehension of the world and all its peculiarities.

Our ability to experience the word is limited so reading plays a great role in expanding our understanding of different people, places, and concepts that we may not get direct exposure to. This is especially the case when it comes to geography, history, science, etc. because while we may not experience these events or these chain reactions or these places directly, reading books is the closest any of us will get to being there in person or being apart of what happened.

Reading also forms the basis of having a strong imagination, one that can conceptualize and create new ideas based on previous books that one has read in the past or currently. Architects, engineers, politicians, scientists, writers, etc. can better develop themselves in their professions precisely because of the books that they have read from those who came before them. While you wouldn’t copy word for word the experiences or the work of others, anybody who reads can take those ideas to influence their own ideas to carry our actions that would change the world in some measurable way.

Reading books is also a needed respite from the daily anxieties and stresses that we experience in daily life. Taking 30 minutes to an hour at night or in the morning to escape to a fictional, fantasy, or previous state of the world is a way to calm the mind and to let your imagination run wild in a healthy manner. To calm yourself down, to ease into a nice book, and to let your mind wander for a little while is a key part of developing a healthy individual and is almost meditative in its calming nature.

Long after high school, college, or even graduate school, the knowledge and wisdom encapsulated in books will remain an important way to develop oneself intellectually and stoke one’s curiosity long after the first part of your life is over. Reading is a way to tap into one’s ability to be a lifelong learner and to become better in your profession or in your career pursuits. Whether you want to become an expert in your chosen field or to start a business or to run with a new idea that could change the world, books hold the key that could make your dreams a reality.

Perhaps the next time you see someone reading a book, go up to them and politely ask them about it. You should bring yourself back to that time when you were younger, and you walked down the halls of the school or local library and were curious about many books that all seem captivating. You should not let that fire go out of you as you get older. You should make the time to go to the bookstore, to the public library, or to a local fair to read something that perks your own interest. One of the worst things that we can do to ourselves is to lose that sense of curiosity and wonder related so closely with reading a new book for the first time. It is also important to bond with other readers, find out what they like to read, and whether they would be able to recommend you anything based on your personal tastes.

Cultivate that love of reading and spread it around to your friends and your family. Reading books is contagious, and people are curious so don’t be afraid to read a book at the lunch counter, on the subway, or even in a public park. We can get more people to read books again by setting the example and by imparting the knowledge and wisdom gained from books to others through our reading experience. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, “Reading is fundamental” and it should not be gone to waste.

Any active and engaged reader should also be standing up for others in terms of easy access to books, whether psychical or digital in our modern age. In your community, city, or country, you should be playing a part to make sure that public libraries stay open and are in good shape. You should donate books when you are done with them and especially to those children and adults who go without them. In addition, volunteering to read to children and/or teenagers is a great way to give back to your community. Everybody should have access to read and they should not be limited by the cost of it. That is why it is extremely important to support those politicians and community leaders who make sure the schools have libraries, that the public library is free for all, and that there are local book fairs that are cheap and are not too expensive for those citizens who want to buy books.

Without books, true knowledge and wisdom cannot be obtained. Be wary of those who do not read at all but do not insult them. Instead, try to bring them on to your side by highlighting the benefits of reading and how it has changed you to be a better learner. Reading should not be forced, of course, but it should be encouraged in helping to build a better society and a better world. Anyone can play a small part in this and I hope that you, the reader of this article, will play a small part in shaping it.

English Corner – Spot The Mistakes

Once you have learned to embrace your errors, the next key part of being an editor of your written English language work is to spot the mistakes. You need to become proficient in catching your mistakes, understanding why they were mistakes, and then fixing them. You are bound to make some mistakes with your English writing but the best way to get over that hurdle is to spot them, understand them, and fix them. It doesn’t even have to be your English when it comes to spotting the mistakes.

Beyond your own work, look at the English language wherever you go and see if there are any mistakes that other people have made. You may be able to help other writers whether they are friends, family, colleagues, or fellow students by helping them spot their mistakes and assisting them in getting them fixed.

Part of becoming proficient as an editor is getting that extra practice that comes with spotting errors in the English that others have put forward. You should always point out their mistakes in a polite and courteous manner, but you should be able to learn from their mistakes in addition to your own. Peer editing is a crucial part of becoming a better English writer and it will make you more adept as an editor too when it comes to be time to review your own work.

Most of us go about our daily lives trying to not focus on the advertisements or the notices that come across our path. However, another crucial way to boost your English language skills is to look closely at those words and phrases you see every day when you’re out and about. You may not notice it but there are sometimes silly and easily fixable errors that are in these notices and advertisements.

When you spot them, take the time to snap a photo with your phone and then when you’re home later, you’ll be able to write down the incorrect word or sentence and re-write it, so it is correct. In order to make this happen, you have to be observant and you have to sometimes get close to the notice, advertisement, or posting in public and really look carefully at it to see if the written English is right. What may be tedious at first may end up being a fun game of sorts that you can play with friends and family to improve your English.

Spotting errors does not only have to be with regards to advertisements or public notices. Despite how well edited written pieces of work are, you are likely to still find small errors in publications such as newspapers, journals, magazines, and even short stories. If you have purchased any one of these items, you should take the time to highlight the errors you find because there may be a few that have slipped the radar of the editor before it came time for publication. In addition to highlighting these errors, you should consider fixing the mistakes and even making the publisher and/or author aware of the fact that there were some mistakes left in the final version of the written piece.

The last key component when it comes to spotting English mistakes is having a way to document them whether you found these mistakes either in public or in private. It would be really beneficial to have a list of English mistakes that you have noticed and fixed as well as what was the running theme that they may have had in common. It would be wise to group those mistakes in categories whether they were grammatical errors, structural errors, or spelling errors. You could also write about the patterns of the mistakes in a journal or a Word document so you can keep track of where, how, and why you spotted those English errors.

Also, there are hundreds of activities, worksheets, and general practice problems out there that any student can use to boost their proficiency in being a better English editor. You will need to be already a decent writer to make proper edits, but you can do so at the Intermediate level or above. In addition, daily or even weekly practice by completing those ‘mistake’ correction worksheets will go a long way to become a good editor not only for yourself but for your fellow classmates or work colleagues.

There are many different websites out there where you can download, open, and use these activities for free and they are really easy to do so on your own. After completing these worksheets, be sure to get a trusted friend who is good in English or a qualified teacher or professor to look over your corrections to make sure that you did well in spotting and correcting the errors in the paragraph, essay, or article. Without proper oversight, you will not be as well off as an English editor so having a person for peer review is key in this case.

Spotting the mistakes that you make with the English language is easy enough, but it takes a lot of hard work and effort to spot the mistakes of others. However, by doing so, you’ll develop the skillset necessary to be a good Editor not just for yourself but for other English writers. Having the chance to practice spotting errors and mistakes in writing will set you apart from other learners. You should not be afraid of challenging yourself or your ego to point out the mistakes that you or others will inevitably make and then fix them.

While doing so, keep a running tally of these mistakes and understand if they are a pattern and how you can overcome making the same mistake over and over again. As I have mentioned previously, you learn through making mistakes and this is the case for both native English speakers and for English as a Second Language learners. Nobody’s perfect and we all have flaws in our language abilities. Instead of hiding from these mistakes, let us hold each other accountable and bring them out into the open so that we all may improve and become better English learners.

What can the creative process give us?

Anything that is done in the creative process takes effort and hard work. Any work of art, any piece of music, any lengthy novel took days, weeks, months, and even years to create. The creative process allows any person to express oneself in any way they see fit. The idea to keep in mind is that it is best for somebody to discover what he or she would like to create based on what his or her interests are. They then must discover for themselves what exactly they are good at creating and what they have a passion for doing. Being creative cannot be forced on someone.

The person in question has to decide what they enjoy doing and how far their talent can take them. Sometimes, the person can discover his creative vocation on his or her own but other times, it’s often the recommendation of a close friend or family member who gives the person inspiration to continue on with their craft. The key to remember about the creative process is that it can add value to people’s lives and also provide substantive meaning for any human being.

Being creative allows you to step outside of yourself and observe the external world in some way to shape it in a way that you see fit. Whether it is painting, writing, sculpting, etc., you’re putting yourself out there to see how you can do it differently and how can you create something truly unique. The creative possibilities out there are infinite and it’s important to choose a hobby or interest that appeals to you and which you can devote serious time to.

Some other traits that you can develop besides being observant and aware of the world around you are to become more collaborative and open to learning from others. A creative person will learn from others who have come before him or her in order to develop themselves as an artist, writer, builder, etc. Without copying them directly or replicating their kind of work, a creator will take what they have learned and studied to develop their own style or add value to their field. You don’t have to become the next Mozart or Rembrandt but you should try to innovate or change up the creative field so as to do something that will be remembered in the future.

Collaborating with other creative people and working alongside them or just to learn from them can make you more skilled in your work. You can learn a lot of valuable lessons from other creative people and they can mentor you based on their years of experience if you’re just starting out. Even if you suffer setbacks or false starts, knowing that you have a network of people similar to you in your creative world who can give you advice or a new perspective will give you the extra motivation to continue forward and learn from your mistakes. Through collaboration, you’ll learn to be less defensive and tame your ego so that you can learn and become better at your creative vocation.

Harnessing your creative energies can make you more outgoing, more connected to the world and can make you more humble. In a world that seems to be moving faster and faster, being able to slow down, observe your surroundings, and collect your thoughts is a great way to fuel your creative impulses. While we cannot control much outside of our own choices and decisions, harness your creative abilities will give you a sense of control over the external world. You can also gain a lot of satisfaction from putting something out into the world even if it never gains popular recognition. To keep it as a healthy endeavor, exercising your creative abilities should never be done for the possible fame, fortune, or notoriety of it but rather for your own benefit.

Without any kind of creative outlet, humans can stagnate both mentally and physically. People can often be placed into two categories: producers and consumers. We have the capacity to do both but we are often told by the larger society and culture to consume, consume, and consume some more. While there’s nothing wrong with consumption within reason, being able to channel our energies into a productive endeavor can be good for both the mind and the body. This is especially the case when you’re working to solve a problem or to make life better for people. You don’t know what your own potential or capacity for creativity is until you begin to do it. Everybody has the ability to be creative but they have to figure out where they can contribute the most to an idea, a project, or a work of art.

There has never been a better time in human history to be a creative individual. The advent of the Internet and global social networking has allowed people of all backgrounds to express themselves in various ways. More than ever, the average person is a website, a YouTube channel, an eCommerce shop away from sharing their creativity with the world at the click of a button. While the creative process is long, challenging, and comes with no certain reward, the benefits to a person’s mental and physical health cannot be overstated. The Einsteins, Beethovens, and Rembrandts of the world knew that their creative contributions would change the world in one way or another. They did it not just for the world though but their own sense of fulfillment and purpose. Instead of asking themselves what they could receive from the world, they thought instead of what they could contribute to the world with their individual talents.

Being creative, innovative, and experimental comes with risks but also a number of rewards. Even if you fail or don’t reach your goals, you will still learn a lot about yourself as well as what you are capable of. The key is to keep working at it to find out what you are skilled at whether that’s being an artist, a writer, an architect, an engineer, etc. Everybody has a creative flame within them that can be harnessed and molded. You just have to figure out for yourself how to develop, practice, and become proficient in your craft throughout the creative process.