Tag: kindness

I’ll Take Kind Gestures Over Kind Words Any Day

“When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.”

When was the last time someone let you merge into traffic or grabbed you a coffee without asking? Too long, right? Small gestures like these can make your day or even your week. We’re taught from a young age that kind words keep the world turning, but words are just the starting point.

Even rarer than kind words are kind actions. Post-COVID, people’s social skills have atrophied, making everyday courtesies harder to come by. Things like holding the door, walking on the right side of the sidewalk, or letting someone merge on the highway might seem small but they matter far more than words alone, and we could all use more of them.

Having these kinds of gestures be optional instead of compulsory represents an overall reflection of the fracturing of what used to be common courtesy along with the kind of bare minimum expectations we have of one another too often. Instead of kind gestures, we often have the opposite now: people being loud in public places, not using earphones or headphones on their meetings or in the music they listen to, or just not minding their body language or others’ personal space. I value the importance of these basic gestures because they take such little time or self-awareness yet have become harder to find even when I consider them to be increasingly important to societal harmony.

It’s one thing for strangers to abstain from kind gestures or words but it’s entirely another when they come from business associates, colleagues, family, or friends. Taking the initiative and building a two-sided friendship or relationship, professional or personal, doesn’t take much to sustain but it truly can make a world of difference to the other person(s). Such kind gestures mean more than the average word could ever and people really remember those sincere actions more than giving a basic compliment or heaping on effusive praise.

These kind gestures depend on the kind of relationship you have with the person or group in question, but sending business associates a holiday card or remembering their birthday can strengthen the relationship significantly. You could also offer to buy them coffee or tea for providing advice or mentorship with your work or business. With work colleagues, it doesn’t hurt to share your appreciation in giving a kind word for them, but it could mean much more to bring in food or drinks for lunch or help them with a problem they are having on a difficult project. If you’re a manager, kind words are nice to hear but recognizing your employees with a bonus, a promotion, or just an award or other kind of real recognition can make a huge difference with morale building or employee retention at your firm.

With one’s family and friends, it’s always important to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and show your appreciation for their presence in your life. However, it’s always better to take the initiative to ask them out for a dinner or a concert or just to give them a call consistently to check-in with them and see how they’re really doing. Keeping a friendship or family relationship in good shape is hard to do but at least making the effort to see each other and to do so in a two-way manner is key to keeping it sustainable.

Being complimentary, supportive, and positive are all great with your words but real actions or gestures will always speak loudest. That’s especially the case when you’ve known that person a long time and have a history together. Sometimes, friendships end out of nowhere and family bonds are breakable by one party or the other, but if you want to make a real effort, make sure to rely on kind gestures primarily because they mean a lot more to someone than your words.

These days, it’s hard to get kind words out of strangers or people you don’t know and even more so when it comes to expecting basic social graces or gestures of kindness. As a result, we are starved for those kinds of gestures and actions that are unprompted, considerate, and relevant to us. We need those friends, family, and even close associates doing kind things for us and for them to be reciprocated as well because it helps foster our happiness, joy, and overall life satisfaction more than we think.

Kindness begets kindness. While words can move the needle, gestures, actions, and time spent together make a world of difference. Remember: kind words are the minimum of a polite society but making kind gestures second nature to you, especially for the people in your orbit, will make your life richer and fuller. Tomorrow, remember to hold the door for someone, send that quick ‘thank you’ note if someone did something kind for you, or buy a mentor or a friend a cup of coffee. Small gestures always make a big impact, which makes life better for everyone.

What It Really Means to Be a True Friend

“Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.”

People tend to throw the word ‘friend’ around a lot especially when you may be desperate or wanting to have a new ‘friend’ come into your life. It is natural to want to build rapport with someone and to do so quickly. It is good to have someone want to spend time with you and get to know you are. When you are short on friends or when friends you know have moved on to a different town, city, or country, you want to work on replacing those lost or far away friendships that you used to have.

Especially as you get older, friends move away, get married, have children, and it can be hard to keep those friendships the same or keep them alive in a meaningful away. Having a true friend is hard to come by and it’s important to get better at distinguish who is a ‘true’ or ‘real’ friend and who should deserve that kind of title in your mind.

Unless the bonds you have are broken or ruptured due to any kind of factor, which does happen in life, you will still have your friends to pick up the connection again despite factor of distance or life circumstances. A friendship that has been established for years or decades doesn’t ever fully go away but you both must work to keep in touch to keep the flame alive into the future. Friendships do fade away, and you or the other person may not be getting what you need to keep it going. It can be sad to let go of a friendship especially when you invest the time, the emotions, and the money spent to keep it alive, but that is just part of life.

We have a tendency in American culture to form friendships at a dizzying pace or want to have someone as a friend quickly to ensure our own need for popularity or for social status. Other cultures tend to be slower in establishing those tight social connections or friendships, but once you do, you have a friend for life, or you have a true friend under a separate kind of category that should be reserved for a few friends and not for many connections or acquaintances.

Yes, we do throw around the word ‘friend’ a lot and too quickly. However, you should be wary of entrusting people who you consider ‘friends’ without feeling out how much that friendship entails. When I think of the meaning of a ‘true friend’, it is deeper than getting drinks every now and then or meeting up to play a sport or do an activity, it is someone who you can share both the good and the bad in your life and they can do the same with you. You don’t have to reveal your whole life story or be exhaustive about it, but a true friend is someone for whom you can be vulnerable with. A true friend won’t judge you for looking for their help, advice, or let you vent to them every now and then.

There are also several kind and thoughtful gestures a friend would do for you whereas an acquaintance or social connection would not. When you need to move and you’re free to lend a helping hand with the furniture, that is a true friend in action. If you need a ride to and from the airport and they don’t mind it even when it’s a little out of the way, that is a true friend. If you need a place to sleep or ‘crash’, and you would rather not splurge for a hotel room, a true friend will offer you their coach or a spare bedroom.

Now, there are two sides to any friendship so keep in mind that if they are willing to do that for you, you should try to do the same for them if the need arises. It is not being transactional but it’s remembering that any true friendship needs effort from both people, and it is good to look out for another especially in an increasingly isolated and technologically driven world. Our phone or our computer or our AI chat tool will never be a replacement for a true friend who is a real person, one whom you can share stories with, help each other with advice, and lend a hand to you when you are in need. Now, you can still drink, eat, play sports, or hang out with a ‘friend’, but if that friend isn’t someone who you can confide in, discuss life and its happenings, or be there for each other, it’s not a deep friendship or can be a bit shallow.

True friendships in my view take years or even decades to foster so while it’s good to try to make new friends, don’t neglect the older friendships you have that can be revived or don’t be too quick to trust someone without giving the friendship time to bloom and see if you both are compatible in the long-run. I would rather have five ‘true friends’ than a hundred or more ‘friends’ who don’t really know me, care about me, or for whom we are close enough to help each other out or just look out for each other.

Friendships are like relationships, though platonic in nature, they are just as important to foster in a healthy manner and that both people are contributing to it. You can start off just as acquaintances but if you’re putting in the time, trying on each side, and growing deeper as friends over the months and years, instead of staying in the shallow subjects, you really are building the ‘true friendships’ that survive time, distance, and other challenges.

Even if you’re married, or have children, or are busy at work, you also need friends and healthy friendships so keep trying to create them, build them, and be a good friend to others in your life. Remember to have quality friendships over the quantity of them as having a few friends for life is much better than have 100 friends who will drop you in a few months because you couldn’t keep up with their lifestyle or their demands or their ‘image.’ True friendship is missing someone when they’re gone and looking forward to the day when you can rekindle the friendship anew.

The Importance of Being Reliable and Responsive to People

“It is important to be both reliable and responsive to the people you care about and even to those you’re just getting to know if you can do so.”

How many times have you sent a text or an email to someone thinking it was useful, humorous, thoughtful, or even just to reach out for it to have been received but not replied to? Chances are good it’s happened at least once if not multiple times to the people reading this article. It is one of the inevitabilities in life that not every text, call, or email will receive the attention it deserves and that’s alright as not everyone has the time or the urge to respond. However, when it’s a friend, family member, or a colleague, who you trust or respect or have some kind of relationship with, then it can be a real problem when your outreach goes ignored.

It is important to be both reliable and responsive to the people you care about and even to those you’re just getting to know if you can do so. Nobody’s perfect but you can really stand out nowadays in a good way when you’re willing to make the effort to respond to someone, to be relied upon and follow through, and to hold yourself accountable. These are qualities in a person that will always make you stand out in a good way because in our attention-deficit addled society, these kinds of traits are becoming less and less common.

Things happen in life such as emergencies, setbacks, and sometimes we just need a break from being plugged in to what’s going on with everyone else. It’s okay to take time off from reaching out if you want to focus on yourself for a while. If people try to reach out still, let them know though that you need some time away from the phone or the computer and if they really need you, indicate that it should only be for an emergency or an urgent matter. I don’t mind when people are unreachable but if there’s a lack of communication about why or for what purpose, it can cause some resentment and the fraying of the relationship or friendship in the long-term.

Nowadays, you can silent your notifications, put your away message up for colleagues to be aware of, or just simply turn your social media channels or phone off for a little while. You can be unresponsive and still be a responsible person in my view. What causes concern in my view is when you refuse to answer me when you read my message and wouldn’t give me any reason or indication of what’s going on. There’s a lot of talk about ‘Ghosting’ people today and I believe we are all guilty of ‘ghosting’ on each other at one time or another, but if it’s a recurring pattern, you really should think twice in how you act towards other people, especially if they value your feedback, opinion, or just want to see how you are.

Whether at work or at home or in ‘third spaces’ with friends or someone you’ve just met, remember to be responsive within reason because it’s about common courtesy not only regarding your time and effort but also of theirs for having reached out to you in the first place. It’s something we overlook but when someone is reaching out to you, they are first thinking about you and spending some time out of the millions of other things they could be thinking about to focus on you as an individual to some degree. It does not mean you need to spend a lot of your time but if you have the availability, it doesn’t hurt to give a simple response or at least let them know where they stand with you, whatever kind of relationship you may have with that person.

Whether it’s a co-worker sending you a message on Microsoft Teams asking for advice on a presentation, an elderly family member asking you to do them a favor regarding a health question, or a friend inviting you to their wedding or their birthday party, you do have a responsibility to be responsive. These situations I posed may not be urgent, but they are important, and to ‘ghost’ them is neither mature nor responsible. You have a duty not only to yourself in how you act but how you carry yourself with others.

At the end of your life, how do you want people to remember you? That’s part of why being reliable and responsive takes on such importance especially as you get older. People will remember in any kind of relationship that you have or had with them how you treated them, if you responded to them, and how much you invested into the relationship, whatever it may have been. Make sure to remember this kind of legacy that you’re building each time you answer that e-mail, respond to that voicemail, or send that text message out. The irony of our technological age is that we are connected by our devices but are as disconnected as ever regarding reaching out, making plans, and being reliable in how we present ourselves.

You can set the tone by being a reliable person who’s available and is reliable whether at work, at school, or at home. Be the person who can be trusted, who gets things done, and is able to follow through when you make a commitment to someone else. Sadly, being both reliable and responsive to other people is becoming rarer and rarer in my view. I believe you can have a lot of professional success and personal happiness if you are able to respond to others in a timely manner and be counted on when they need you.

Hopefully, they will remember you for what you did, how you acted, and how well you treated them. They won’t forget it and ideally, they will follow your lead by picking up those kinds of traits in response. Being someone who is reliable and responsive can have that positive effect on how others behave as well creating a good kind of ‘domino effect’ and improving people’s behavior in a family, in an office, or in a group. You do not have to be available 24 / 7 and nobody is expecting you to be doing so but it’s important to be willing to respond, to follow up, to check in, and to be present with other people whomever they may be and whatever kind of relationship you may have with them.

Call or Text Those Who Matter to You

“You may not think it is a big deal, but I really believe it is one of the kindest things you could do for another person.”

You can tell who really cares about you by those people in your life who take a little time out of their busy days to call or text you. You may not think it is a big deal, but I really believe it is one of the kindest things you could do for another person. They aren’t expecting you to reach out at all perhaps or you have not reached out in a while so they wouldn’t expect any contact, but the fact that you take the time to think of them, to send them a text message or to give them a call, shows just how much they really matter to you.

There are certainly other ways to show your appreciation and care for the people in your life such as meeting them to go out for dinner or for drinks or even a coffee or tea. However, I believe that sustaining a friendship or relationship isn’t just about meeting up every now and then but it’s about actively taking an interest in their life and how they are really doing. Being able to check in on them in a sincere way will make you stand out compared to other people in that person’s life.

Being a simple acquaintance is someone who doesn’t mind meeting up with you but for which you are the one who is always initiating, always reaching out, and always doing the leg work. That kind of one-sided contact can get old after a while as you may enjoy their company but feel as if they never reciprocate or attempt to make plans with you as well. Having a one-sided set up especially if you are always the initiator is what makes that person more of an acquaintance than a friend or a romantic partner. Those kinds of one-sided interactions can be fun and enjoyable, but they don’t have the kind of longevity you should really be looking for.

If you are always the person who is reaching out to call or text them, then good for you on doing so and I recommend it, but don’t let your own kindness and thoughtfulness not be reciprocated at all. Hopefully, the other person will eventually take the hint to do the same for you not just because it is the right thing to do but because they want to do so, and they also care about you. If you are always calling, texting, or making plans, and you don’t mind doing so, you can keep it going if you enjoy that person’s company. Moreover though, if they never reciprocate or show an active interest in your life and it frustrates you to how it is so one-sided, you may need to rethink how often you see or talk to that person.

Kindness should not ever come with an expectation of any reciprocation, but a one-sided friendship or relationship is not going to work out. I still would encourage anyone reading this to not be afraid to check-in with a loved one whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member. Don’t expect to always have them to do the same for you but I will say that it’s more likely for them to reach back out to you when you do that for them. You may have to be the first to do so but hopefully you won’t be the only person to do so and they’ll start thinking of you more and wondering how life is treating you.

Whether you are going through good times or bad times, you should call or text those people who really matter to you. It makes a huge difference, more than you would ever think, when you reach out to someone. You are going to brighten their day, improve their mood, or even strengthen the bond or connection you both already have. It truly is a selfless and kind act that we should be encouraging more in our society. If someone knows that you care and are thinking of them, they will feel energized and perhaps a little less sad or lonely as a result.

We may not be able to see that person in person but when you can call or text them to have a conversation, that is the next best thing that you can do. With how much technology has advanced, it’s almost as if they are with you physically and in the room with you. We are all busy and have a lot going on these days in our lives, but a simple call can just take a few minutes and a text message takes less than that in just a few seconds.

Let us strive to be there for one another especially when you know that person is struggling with something or having a rough patch in their life. Reach out to those who matter to you and don’t let it just be you doing it all the time. Make sure it’s a two-way street but if you must take the initiative first, do not hesitate in doing so. Kindness is about caring for one another and making a simple phone call or sending a text message to someone you love or like is the best way to start.

Kindness Always Matters

“One of those things is the effort taken to be kind. It does not take much to do and while it can be difficult to be kind all the time, it doesn’t cost anything, and the effort is always worth it.”

There are a few things in life that are non-negotiable. One of those things is the effort taken to be kind. It does not take much to do and while it can be difficult to be kind all the time, it doesn’t cost anything, and the effort is always worth it. Some of the issues that we experience in our world is due to a lack of kindness in our daily interactions. If more people tried to be kind towards one another, I could guarantee that a lot of conflict, irritation, and resentment would go away.

Someone who is always kind to anyone regardless of who they are or what they can or cannot do for the person will stand out even more. The smallest gestures can make all the difference in another person’s day or week. As the popular saying goes, “It costs nothing to be kind.” I would add on to that saying but highlighting that, “It costs nothing to be kind, but it means everything to be kind.” When you do kind gestures and use kind words, not only will it reflect well on you, but it will also endear you to the people around you.

When we are living in a day and age of rapid technological, social, and political change, it is even more important to stay true to the morals and values that make people trust, believe, and have faith in one another. Showing kindness and being a kind person helps make the world a little bit better in a measurable way. I have written before about the ripple effect and how your kind gesture is likely to lead to another kind gesture from the person you impact. I’ll give an example to highlight just exactly what I mean.

We open and close doors multiple times a day and usually we are in a public place when we must do this. It takes approximately three to five seconds to hold the door open for the next person. You may not think it’s a kind gesture, but I would like you to imagine that the person behind you has a bag or two bags in their hand. Maybe, they also have their dog with them, or they are on a cell phone call. Thus, when you put it like that, the simple gesture of opening the door for them so they don’t have to use their arms if they’re full or if they’re busy with another urgent task can make all the difference.

You will have to exert a little bit of physical effort to hold that door open to a complete stranger but think about if they automatically would not hold the door open for you when you are in need. It would not feel that good to you if you were the person occupied with other items or tasks and the person before you did not hold the door open for you when you need that. When it comes to kindness, we do have to think about being in someone else’s shoes and how a lack of kindness can make our day worse and not better.

I do believe that when you do a kind gesture for someone, they will likely then reciprocate by following that learned behavior. It’s similar to what we do when we are children, and someone offers us a piece of gum, or a candy and we do that to someone else as we learn that “sharing is caring.” You can have that kind of impact each day by holding the door open for someone reminding them that they themselves can do that same small act of kindness for the next time when the opportunity presents itself.

In the Post-COVID era where we were instructed to stay away from each other to prevent the pandemic from spreading, I think it’s not even more important to get back to looking out for each other in the opposite way by looking out for one another even more after a hard period of isolation, distress, and uncertainty. The world remains in a tumultuous and difficult period still but now we have the chance to make life a little easier by being kind because it is the right thing to do as we are taught since we are children.

Whether it is holding that proverbial door open or asking how someone is really doing and hearing them out if they are not doing well, or remembering to check in with friends and family from time to time and asking if they need help with anything, especially if you have elder family members in need. We truly show our humanity when we look out for one another, and it is the singular characteristic for which we will be remembered for or not remembered for when we are gone from this Earth.

While we would like to think we were remembered for having a prestigious job or for all the things we did for our own personal gain or benefit, or for what kind of impact we had in the world, which are not bad things to be remembered for, I do think it is better to be remembered as a kind person firstly. I believe it is best for others who will remember you to focus most on if you were the kind of person who endeared himself or herself to others in a selfless manner without expectation of a return for having done so.

You can bet that if you are a kind person, people who will remember you when you’re gone will focus on that quality more than anything else. If you have ignored being kind to others or have not focused on it as a character trait, it is never too late to instill more kindness to people in your life. Every effort matters and kindness always matters. If you can change your ways to a better person, being a kind person is a trait that will always be remembered long after you’re gone. Remember that people are struggling out there and the simplest kind gesture of asking how a person is doing, opening the door for someone else, and checking in on people to help them if they are in need is the greatest gift to share in this world.

A Belief in Karma

“These ideals play into the belief in karma that can be complex to follow but to myself means that what you put out into the world will often come back to affect you as a result.”

We are all born with our own innate sense of fairness that can develop as we get older. From childhood where we learn to share our toys in the playground with our classmates and friends to adulthood where we share our workspace with colleagues or our kitchen with roommates or our homes with loved ones. People have this innate sense of fairness that ties into larger ideals of justice, equality, and righteousness.

These ideals play into the belief in karma that can be complex to follow but to myself means that what you put out into the world will often come back to affect you as a result. Karma is a belief that how you treat others or how you interact with the world will have an effect of the world giving you what you put out in return.

While karma is not an innate reason why we strive to be fair, just, and equal in our actions towards other people, the belief in it can play our notion of fairness because if we don’t treat someone well or treat them fairly, you have a better chance of them not reciprocating or someone else not treating you fairly, as a result. There is a popular English expression that relates to Karma known as, “what goes around, comes around.”

For children, if you hog all the toys and don’t share, then no one is going to want to play with you or want to be your friend. As adults, if you repel people with your attitude or behavior towards them, it may cause you to suffer in your social relations but in your ability to hold a job or to have a productive life. Believing in Karma is not religious, but it takes a lot of lessons from religious and spiritual belief systems.

What we put out into the universe may not affect us right away, but it may come back in some other form when we least expect it. People fear not just the karma that could come because of their decisions, behaviors, and actions, but also how it affects their conscience and their memories. When you don’t have good karma, you’re likely to suffer other consequences such as bad memories, a muddled conscience, and harmful habits that could cause you to retreat from the world because of poor interactions with it.

While some people don’t believe in karma and don’t think their actions can have a ricochet effect on them, they still have a conscience and emotions that will be negatively affected from their bad behavior. Sometimes, karma is not enough to deter bad behavior, but it can be a motivating factor for people to act better because they don’t want it to come back on them if they have built up bad karma that would backfire.

Karma has its origins in Buddhism and while many people are not Buddhists, they can see the principle of ‘cause and effect’ at work in their lives. Even from a young age, we become aware that if we don’t share toys or listen to the teacher, it will likely lead to negative consequences as a result. We learn subconsciously to be good to not only feel good but to receive what’s good in return. That does not mean that if we only put out good deeds or actions or words into the world, that we will always receive such reciprocity. That is a naïve viewpoint, but we shouldn’t do good just for karma’s sake. We should do good to be good people and to automatically have a positive effect on the world in whatever small and measurable way that can in our lives.

Karma can make us better people but primarily, it would be best to follow our conscience first as well as our sense of right and wrong, which I do believe we innately have as babies but learn to hone more and more as we get older with education in character and conduct. Karma is an important layer that is part of our overall belief system, which allows us to be better people and to try to do as much good in the world as possible in the hopes that not only will it come back to us, but it will ripple out in its effect of leading to other good actions by others to boost other peoples’ karma. We want to spread the good karma around so that’s the only karma that can come back on all of us.

When you think of karma from a societal or global perspective, it makes sense in that good actions have a collective effect in that the planet will be better off as a result if we all do good by it. The karma that comes back on us from recycling, lowering our carbon output, taking care of nature and animal species, and limiting our negative impacts environmentally, that kind of karma leads to a healthier planet and a better existence for all of us.

Karma is not just for the individual but for a society and even the whole planet’s inhabitants. If we put out good into the world through better actions, behavior, and deeds, the karma we receive in return will often be better as a result. If you believe in karma, you believe in a deeper sense of overall fairness and justice. You believe that good begets good and fair begets fair. As the civil rights leader, activist, and visionary Martin Luther King, Jr. would say, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”            

If more of us believe that our good morals and beliefs will lead to greater justice, than the world will likely have more justice as a result. What we put effort into our behaviors, emotions, and deeds will have an impact and an effect on the rest of us. I truly believe in Karma as a guiding principle and although it may not conclude what exactly our impact will be on one another each and every time, how we generally interact with other day by day does lead to karmic consequences, for better or for worse.

Do A Good Deed Every Day

“The easiest way to feel a bit better, a bit happier, and make time fly by a bit more is to go out of your way and do a good daily deed.”

It can feel natural to want to go through each day wanting to keep to yourself and go through the motions to make the week go by quicker. However, having this kind of mentality can isolate you, make you feel lethargic, and time can crawl more the less you interact with the people and the environment around you. The easiest way to feel a bit better, a bit happier, and make time fly by a bit more is to go out of your way and do a good daily deed.

Doing a good deed every day may seem like a lofty goal to achieve but when you really think about what a ‘good deed’ is, it would usually only take you a few seconds or even a few minutes to accomplish. A daily ‘good deed’ is very rarely extravagant, or expensive but rather good deeds are often simple courtesies, pleasantries, and small acts of kindness that have a large impact on a person’s life. You can really make someone’s day especially if they’re feeling down by lifting their spirits with a good-hearted deed that is genuine. To go out of your way for someone else will not only make them feel better but it will make you feel better as well.

I am a believer in karma and having the awareness to do a good deed for someone else, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, can cause ‘a ripple effect’ in sending out something good in the world, which will hopefully cause other people you help to do good deeds of their own in ‘paying it forward.’ As the saying goes, ‘kindness begets kindness’ so if you do a good deed, I believe that person will then be more cognizant of doing a good deed for someone else and that ‘ripple effect’ will cause many more good deeds to be done. Karma, both good and bad, spreads like a raging wildfire, so if you put good deeds out there, I am optimistic in believing that the world will pay you back with more kindness and to have others help you out in return.

You may be asking, well, there are so many good deeds I can do; how do I know which ones I should do? Good deeds don’t have to be planned out and they rarely are so just mindful of your environment in terms of what kind of good deed can be done spontaneously but is also pertinent to the situation that you find yourself in. For example, if you see a homeless man on the street looking for some food to eat, it doesn’t cost much to buy him a sandwich or a hot meal to help him stave off hunger.

That is a good deed that takes not much money and not much time if you can afford it. Other deeds aren’t about money so much as courtesy such as giving up your train or bus seat to an elderly person or pregnant woman. You can also help the elderly or handicapped by carrying their groceries for them if they ask or by helping them with the door or the elevator. Giving a small amount of charity every now and then whether it’s at a coffee shop or at an organization you are part of is also a good way to do a good deed. A good deed is about doing what you would normally do as a human being without being prompted to do so by other people but if you can’t find such impromptu experiences, giving charity or volunteering an hour of your time or helping a friend or family member in some ways are all good deeds that would qualify.

In a world where it is often difficult or near impossible to control the events and conditions that we experience on a day-to-day basis, doing ‘good deeds’ is a great way of responding to our environment in both a healthy and positive way. Good deeds are not flashy, they may not be recognized, and it can be hard to find them every day but it’s about looking out for your fellow man or woman with no expectation of a reward. Doing a good deed shows that we are all part of the same community, the same society, and the same world and that when we look out for one another on a human level, we all benefit as a result.

Good deeds are a start but that’s just one part of being a good human being. However, doing a good deed daily will exercise our empathetic core, heighten our awareness of relating to others, and to be more aware of how we can positively influence our environment. It is also a healthy way to feel good about ourselves and to brighten our days a little bit more. I find that my day improves a whole lot if it’s been a bad one when someone helps open the door for me or will help me with my heavy groceries if I need a hand with them (while opening the same door), or just looking out for me as I would do for them.

If you can do a good deed daily, that is ideal for it to become a consistent habit but if you can’t, aim to do a good deed at least once per week. You’ll find that it becomes second nature the more you do good deeds and that you’ll recognize those same chances to do them when they appear to you. If you really want to prepare yourself to do good deeds, be aware of your immediate environment as much as possible. That may mean putting your phone down, putting the earphones away, and looking around you instead of down to the floor, but you’ll be more likely to do more good deeds if you’re aware of others rather than the technology that increasingly is around us and on us. The biggest good deed you could do also is to be kind, courteous, and respectful of people you meet and people you know. If you can do that most fundamental good deed, I have no doubt that other smaller good deeds will follow.

English Corner – Showing Compassion and Kindness with Words

“When you learn English as a Second Language, your vocabulary to express kindness, compassion, and understanding towards others should be a top priority.”

One of the key parts of English vocabulary that a new learner to the language should focus on is to how to be compassionate and kind to other people. When you learn English as a Second Language, your vocabulary to express kindness, compassion, and understanding towards others should be a top priority. Expressing kindness in English or in any language will get you very far with other native speakers and can help you in any situation. When you do your best to treat others in ways that they would like to be treated such as with kindness and respect, you will likely not run into any serious conflicts or issues. There may be misunderstandings and ‘lost in translation’ moments but if you are able to make amends for it with your English vocabulary, you will be forgiven by other people and they’ll often give you a second chance.

To give you some ideas, I’m going to break this article down into two parts. I will begin with compassion, which means showing sympathy and concern for other people who may be going through a rough time or having issues in their life. There are multiple ways to express compassion in the English language and I’m going to give examples of both words, phrases, and sentences that express compassion clearly and deeply. When you are compassionate towards other people without expecting anything in return, that is truly what it means to be a mature human being who is also emotionally intelligent.

Words of Compassion:

  • Feeling
  • Empathy
  • Remorse
  • Sorrow
  • Forgiveness
  • Regret
  • Mercy
  • Benevolence
  • Sympathy
  • Mercy

Phrases of Compassion:

  • Feel better soon!
  • Wish you well!
  • Things will get better!
  • Stay positive!
  • I hear you!
  • I’m with you!
  • I am so sorry!
  • Please forgive me!
  • I didn’t mean to!
  • Will you forgive me?

Sentences of Compassion:

  • I am sorry if I hurt you in any way.
  • I didn’t mean to cause you any pain or sorrow.
  • I feel a lot of remorse for what I did and hope you can forgive me someday.
  • Please know that I am thinking of you and your family in these tough times.
  • My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
  • I did not mean to cause you any harm or any offense. If I did, I am very sorry.
  • I would like to ask for your forgiveness.
  • Please have mercy on me as I did not mean any wrongdoing.
  • I hear where you are coming from and see that what I did was wrong.
  • Please know that you have my deepest sympathies in these difficult times.

Showing compassion in English is all about having empathy for another person whether you were right or wrong. It means showing emotions that are genuine, which may lead to someone forgiving you or seeing your point of view, but it will definitely show that you are a mature person who is capable of admitting their mistakes and seeking forgiveness rather than being stubborn about it.

When it comes to kindness, it always goes a long way whether it is made up of individual words, a few words, or in complete sentences. Showing kindness will open up more doors for you in the English language than any other kind of vocabulary. However, it must be earnest, it must be done without expectation of return, and it must be consistently used in your daily usage of the language. Without kindness, you will not be able to fully utilize English and it is unlikely you’ll be able to learn other vocabulary within the language itself. When you have kindness in your personal vocabulary, everything else will come shortly after and other English speakers will be willing to help you out so that you will become a better learner and keep being a better person.

Words of Kindness:

  • Patient
  • Understanding
  • Pleasant
  • Nice
  • Generous
  • Charitable
  • Humane
  • Decent
  • Warm-Hearted
  • Altruistic

Phrases of Kindness:

  • I’ll help you.
  • Let me assist you.
  • How are you?
  • You look well.
  • Do you feel good?
  • How have you been?
  • I’m here to help.
  • How’s your family?
  • Give my best to him/her.
  • My house is your house.
  • Thank you very much.
  • Excuse me.
  • Please!
  • I appreciate it.

Sentences of Kindness:

  • I am here to help you and your family.
  • I’m giving to charity because I think it’s a worthy cause.
  • I would like to volunteer on the weekends because it’s the right thing to do.
  • Helping people out is the best way to make someone else’s day.
  • I enjoy getting out of my seat on the bus to give it to an elderly person.
  • Giving back to others without expecting anything in return is true generosity.
  • Before you do anything else in your day, you should be kind first.
  • My job is to help people with their luggage as a doorman and it makes my day.
  • I’m cleaning out the trash in the neighborhood park because I care about my community.
  • Before you criticize the world around you, think about how you can make it better with simple kindness.

With Kindness and Compassion, you can go far in this world in any language but especially with the English language. I believe it is truly important to have this post as a separate article because before you dive into any other type of English vocabulary, you should be willing to learn the basics of being kind and compassionate and to use it as much as you can. I promise you will not regret it and you’ll be much better off for studying this particular kind of English vocabulary.

A Most Difficult Year

“The first year I can remember in my lifetime where expectations are dashed, lives are thrown off course, and uncertainty is the norm rather than the exception is 2020.”

When you begin a new year, you expect the most out of it in terms of happiness, health, and opportunities. You hope for the best and pray to avoid the worst. However, there are going to be years that don’t live up to expectations and if anything, topple over any kind of expectations you had to begin on January 1st. The first year I can remember in my lifetime where expectations are dashed, lives are thrown off course, and uncertainty is the norm rather than the exception is 2020.

For the vast majority of people, 2020 has been a year to forget and to put behind us. Still though, there is a lot that we can and should learn from this year to make the next one a more forgiving and hopeful year. 2020 was a most difficult year and one long, seemingly almost never-ending ‘Black Mirror’ episode but I take solace in the fact that those of us who made it through this year are more resilient, better able to deal with uncertainty, and able to be happy with less instead of more.

We will always remember 2020 and while I am looking forward to putting it behind me, there are certain lessons to be drawn from a year like this one to ensure we never have a year as uniquely horrible as this one if only we start to change our behaviors and our actions collectively as a society. Beyond climate change, racial injustice, rampant inequalities, and a raging pandemic, there is also the sense that we are failing each other not just in terms of our institutions but also in terms of our commitment towards one another. Revitalizing faith, trust, and kindness as fundamental tenets of our society will be an important benchmark in seeing how much we have learned from the ills of 2020 and how not to repeat these failures in a future crisis of our own making.  

In a time where our institutions are increasingly unable to meet the challenges placed upon them, I hope we will recommit to them additional resources rather than letting them atrophy and decay after the pandemic is over. I think most of us have learned how necessary it is to have functioning and responsive institutions in a crisis and how much we can be hurt by not having them be available to us especially when time is of the essence. Institutions will only work as much as we allow them to so it’s up to us collectively to believe in them, to fund them properly, and to have leaders who will tell us the truth, understand our needs, and be able to respond effectively. When our institutions fail us, we are all put in the precarious position of relying heavily on our friends and our families, which is sometimes a luxury that not everyone has available to them.

Our personal connections cannot help us though when it comes to securing masks, getting us tests, or giving us financial relief when we have no other option. A pandemic shows us how vital it is to have both local and national institutions in place who can help and are there to help rather than leaving every man or woman for him or herself causing us to act more selfish or more distrustful of others. Pandemics can bring the best out of people and they can bring the worst out of people. It is my belief that this pandemic has shown us how much our institutions have become dysfunctional, how our leaders have been corrupted, and how our society has become way too individualistic especially in a time where cooperation and unity are so desperately needed.

Individuals have been heroic for all of us whether its health care workers, grocery store clerks, delivery people, teachers, first responders, etc. who have shown more care and urgency than many larger institutions who have taken months to actually do anything substantive to help people. They are doing their job well under extremely difficult circumstances and hopefully after this year, we will reward them more not just with our thanks but also with better treatment in terms of financial payment, respect, and providing them with more resources when they need them.

Those people on the frontlines like the rest of us have had to become much more resilient in the face of such difficult circumstances. As I have mentioned before in previous articles, Resiliency is one of the most important traits you can have in a year that has been so difficult. The ability to overcome challenges, break down barriers, and surpass obstacles has been so important in 2020 where our resiliency has been tested each and every day practically. Some have had to be more resilient than others, but we have all had to play our part in keeping each other healthy and safe.

Resiliency is also about keeping your spirits up, not letting yourself get too down, and reminding yourself that tough times don’t last forever but tough people do. If you thought you were going to make it through your entire life without facing a challenging or historic year, you would be mistaken. Whether it’s the Great Depression, World War II, or the tumultuous upheavals brought on by the 1960s or the end of the Cold War, each generation is inevitably going to face moments where their resiliency is tested, where comfort is hard to find, and where good days may be hard to come by.

However, if we can get through the hard years in our life like 2020, there’s not much you cannot overcome if you are able to maintain your resiliency. 2020 teaches us that life can go sideways, and that uncertainty is more part of the human conditions than we would like to admit. While we strive for some sense of predictability or comfort in our lives, we inherently know that is just not possible and that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. I hope 2020 also teaches us not to take anything for granted especially our health or our financial security.

Inevitably, we must always plan for uncertainty because it may be coming to us when we least expect it as it did in the early months of 2020. Whether it’s trying to save more money, keeping ourselves that much more physically fit, or keeping some extra food around the house in case of an emergency, I hope that we will plan for uncertainty to come our way again because you never know when it can rear its ugly head again.

Learning how to be more resilient and also knowing how to face uncertainty have been keys to overcoming 2020 but it’s also been about how to be more kind to others. You never know what someone else is going through, how they have been affected by the pandemic, and what they are risking by coming in to work every day when they can’t stay home. If you can’t be kind, then you shouldn’t say anything to anyone. Now, more than ever, it’s important to be kind to one another, to look out for your fellow man, to donate money if you are able to, and even if you’re feeling particularly generous, donate your time and effort to a food bank or a homeless shelter to help those most in need right now.

Also, be sure to check in on those people most close to you whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or someone who you are close to at your workplace or school. Now is the time to make sure everyone is doing as well as can be, that they are not isolated without hearing your voice or seeing your face virtually indefinitely. It is very hard to spend the holidays alone so now is the best time before a new year begins to check in on those people who matter to you the most. Lastly, do not forget to support your local businesses during these hard times whether it’s the mom-and-pop store down the street or your favorite restaurant since they could all use the business right now and it’s the right thing to do to support the economy.

Kindness is going to be even more important in the coming year than ever. Between economic troubles, a continuing pandemic, and political strife, it’s best to be kind always and to empathize with what other people are going through even if they are complete strangers. Give help to those you need and fight for those with less. Make sure you continue to hold people accountable for their actions whether it’s your neighbor next door or the mayor of your town or city. Only by strengthening the bonds of trust through kindness, honesty, and transparency can we begin to heal the divisions and disparities within our society.

The pandemic and other events in 2020 have shown us how important it is to work together, to look for one another, to do unto others as we would have them do unto us, and to deal with uncertainty and stay resilient as much as possible. I hope things get better for all of us in 2021 and I want to encourage everyone to follow the public health guidelines throughout next year.

Keep wearing a mask, stay socially distant, wash your hands frequently, take care of yourself physically with enough exercise and healthy eating. Make your New Year’s resolutions too if you believe in them so as to strive for new goals and opportunities in 2021. Be kind to others again, stay positive, and don’t let adversity throw you into despair.

I wish all of my readers a very Happy New Year and for a healthy, prosperous, and safe 2021 to come to each and every one of us.